She Will Be Loved
by chameleononplaid
Summary: This fic is loosely based on a video by Just4FunVids925 with the same name. Killian Jones recently lost his wife, Milah and meets his step-son's girlfriend, Emma Swan. Despite the fact that they know it is wrong they find that they are attracted to each other. As Emma's relationship with Neal erodes, she is more and more drawn to the man who has always been there. CS AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Happy Valentine's Day! To all of you with a Valentine - Congratulations! For all of you who have lost a Valentine - Hugs! And for the rest of you who really wished to have a Valentine - her is a Killian who could really use a hug. This story is based on a video by Just4FunVids925 called Killian &amp; Emma (Captain Swan) AU - She Will Be Loved. Please check it out and leave a comment for her. She would love to hear from you and I would love to hear any and all feedback on this fic as well. I hope that all of you enjoy. My work was beta'd by the wonderful aimeeloren.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters in this story. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 1 - Beauty Queen of Only Eighteen: **

Killian wasn't a man who cried, but he'd shed more tears in the past two years than he had ever in his whole lifetime to that point. He paced his living room twirling the ring on his left hand. He still couldn't believe Milah was gone. His only link to any family he still possessed was to be buried in two days time. Gold, Milah's ex, was making most of the arrangements, since, apparently, he was more aware of her burial preferences than Killian was. Neal, Milah's son, was to arrive that afternoon.

It still didn't make it any easier to know that her family was around when his wife was dead. Struck down by a drunk driver on the way home from the university she worked. Killian was supposed to have been with her, but he had decided to skip his last class to come home early to make a special dinner. A celebration for their one year anniversary.

Survivor's guilt, Dr. Hopper called it. As a fellow professor and colleague of Milah's, he had been trying to help Killian with his grief the last three days. It was not easy. Most of her other colleagues hated the fact that Milah married Killian, a former student of hers, and still an attending undergraduate at the university. But the two of them had been in love and despite the age difference and the fact that they had barely known each other outside of class, except for their public, but frowned on lunch dates. Then one day, they decided to run off to Vegas for the weekend to get married right before the school year was about to finish.

While to many it may have seemed sudden and rushed, to Killian it just felt right and natural. He and Milah had connected on so many levels. He had loved her wit and charm, even if it could be considered slightly self-mocking. A woman who could laugh at her flaws was something rare. And Killian had loved the fact that Milah loved him for himself. Too many women that Killian encountered had been more impressed by his outside appearance than what he may have actually been thinking, which was weird because Killian felt nothing if not awkward and gawky. Milah told him one evening, as she had smiled knowingly at him, that all those women could see his potential, just as she did. She followed it with a loving kiss and the comment, but I got you first. The day after they wed, as they laid in bed, Milah told him he was like a fine wine and he would only grow better with age. Killian had blushed embarrassed that he may not have performed as well as he had expected but Milah had laughed and kissed him and all else had been forgotten.

Yet, the saddest part about it all was the very dinner that Killian arranged so meticulously was the one where Milah planned to serve him divorce papers. Killian had found them the evening before hidden in her nightstand. He hadn't even realized there had been problems, but her letter included with the paperwork explained only some of her reasoning. He would never be able to ask her to explain fully as to why she felt she needed to dissolve their marriage.

_Killian,_

_ Happy Anniversary. I can't believe that we have already been married one _

_ year. And while I'll cherish every memory we have shared, I have come to the _

_ conclusion that our marriage was made much too hastily. I will always love you and cherish the fact that I was able to know you. I have put in my resignation at the university effective at the end of the semester. I know you are wondering what brought all of this on and I wish I could give you an answer you would accept, but I don't have one. _

_ Best Wishes,_

_ Milah_

Being that he had been twenty-one when they married, maybe he hadn't been the best judge of character, led on by hormones rather than reasoning. However, despite their twenty year age difference, Killian knew what he had felt was love. Unfortunately, it seemed, Milah had not felt the same way about him.

He was about to let his emotions over take him, as he collapsed on the chaise lounge, when he heard the doorbell ring. Standing, he walked down the hall past the library, which was Milah's sanctuary within their house, shutting the door as he passed.

He had tried to go in there that morning, but as soon as he opened the door, her scent enveloped him. He left it open so it could air out in hopes that later he'd be able to actually pass through the threshold.

Killian looked outside and saw an anxious young blonde. He opened the front door, unsure of who she could be, but suspected that she was more than likely a student of Milah's despite how young she appeared. She was staring down at the ground as if fascinated by the flowered doormat that she stood upon.

He couldn't help himself as he took in her appearance, from her black flat shoes to her black tights to her pleated catholic school skirt that may men may have been turned on by, but did the opposite for Killian. Hell, those skirts didn't even look good on a Scotsman, though Killian learned the hard way not to say so. Her black t-shirt was covered by a large sweater that hung over her hands to ward off the cold day. Her chin had a dimple that he wanted to apply his thumb to and raise her face to his so he could see her eyes behind her dark rimmed glasses. Her pale complexion was almost flawless except for a few sprinkles of freckles across her nose and cheeks, something easily hidden by makeup making him realize the only makeup she was wearing was the red lipstick staining her lips. Her long flaxen tresses were pulled tight into a high ponytail.

She jumped when he said hello. Quickly glancing up, she pushed back her glasses and blinked her moss green eyes at him.

"Hi. I'm Emma. Emma Swan." She reached out a hand in offer of a handshake and he complied. "I'm here with Neal."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **The overwhelming response for this story has been wonderful. Thank you to several of my followers who have continued to read my new story. And to all the new followers that have come on board for this story, welcome. I hope all of you enjoy the ride. Once again, my work is being beta'd by the lovely aimeeloren. Thank you so much for all the great work you are doing. I really appreciate it.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 2 - She had some trouble with herself :**

Emma couldn't believe the man standing across the room from her and Neal was Neal's step-father. He couldn't be any older than Neal. She was barely paying any attention to the exchange of words between the two men as she studied Milah's widower.

He wasn't as tall as she first suspected, maybe just six feet tall. He was dressed casually in a pair of dark blue jeans and a blue and white flannel shirt with a simple white tee underneath, shown off because he hadn't buttoned the last few top buttons on the plaid shirt. His black hair was mussed as if he had spent most of the day running his fingers through the thick locks. It had the makings of sex hair.

Okay, she did not need to be thinking about sex hair in relation to Neal's step-father, no matter what his age. But once again, her eyes were drawn to him. His ocean blue eyes glittered, even across the room, probably with unshed tears. She couldn't blame him, he had just lost his spouse on his one year anniversary if what Neal told her was true. He hadn't spoken to his mother in about fifteen years, despite her efforts to reconcile over the past year. Neal told Emma that for years, he had assumed his mother was dead. It wasn't until he received the first of many letters from her that he realized otherwise. That caused more dissension then was already there between Neal and his father. Emma had been shocked when Neal told her his mother had passed away and he actually wanted to come to Maine for her funeral. Not once during their drive did they discuss his parents, other than the fact that they may have to stay with Neal's father. Neal was not happy at the prospect, and from what Emma had heard about the man, she wasn't sure if she was a little scared of the man she had yet to meet.

Neal nudged her in the arm, startling her. "What?"  
"Killian asked if we would like to stay here with him while we are in town," he told her.

She shrugged. She and Neal had actually hoped Killian would offer accommodations, since they didn't have the money for a hotel, and neither was looking forward to asking Neal's father for a place to stay. "Fine with me."

Neal smiled back at Killian. "Well, if she's okay with it and you are as well, we'd be happy to accept. Thanks, man."

Killian gave them both a sheepish grin. "It was your mother's house. If she was alive.." Killian seemed to choke up on the words and Emma felt compelled to rush over to offer support, but after a breath, he shoved his hands in his front pockets and regained composure. "She'd tell you that you were more than welcome."

Emma wasn't quite sure if that was true from the stories Neal had told her, but she was sure Killian was more expressing the feeling as a way of welcoming them. She knew she'd probably be the same way if their roles had been reversed. Of course, Emma knew from reading a few of the letters Milah sent that she had been well aware of the fact that Neal was a thief and had abraded him at this life's choices, so she definitely might not have been as happy to welcome into her house.

A house that looked like it could be on the cover of _Better Homes and Gardens_. A house in a lovely neighborhood where probably everyone in a block radius knew each other. People who didn't have to worry where their next meal was coming from and if they'd have to steal it. When Emma thought about where she wanted to live growing up in foster care, it was a house very much like this one, filled with a happy couple who would shower her with love as if she was their long-lost daughter, not just some child they picked from a long list of many at the group home.

Mentally kicking herself, Emma tried to focus back on the conversation. She had never been so lucky and now she was an adult the only way her vision would ever come true was in her dreams. Life had never been easy for her during her formative years, being passed from foster home to foster home. Half the time they were so bad she just ran away, ending up in another state and another foster care systems that let children slip easily through the cracks within the system. In a way, it was absolute irony that she stood here in this spot, not long past her eighteenth birthday. Just about twenty miles away she had been abandoned on the side of the freeway, all those years ago. She had traveled across the United States during that time only to come back to where it all started, Maine.

"Babe." Neal was waving his hand in front of her face. "Babe."

"Yeah." Emma once again shook herself out of her thoughts.

"Help me grab our stuff. Killian is going to show us to our room." Neal bent down and grabbed the little suitcase they shared and his large duffel bag.

Emma went behind the couch to retrieve her purse and backpack, but Killian was already there. He gave her a small, almost nervous, smile and handed her the purse. "Let me."

She gave him a nod of thanks and followed behind the two men upstairs. Killian guided them down a long hall, motioning off to one side indicating the bathroom. Finally, he opened a door at the end of the hall.

"Here you go, Neal. And, Emma, if you want, you can have the room across the hall or stay here with Neal. I'm not exactly sure of your arrangements." Killian walked over and opened the blinds allowing the late afternoon sun to shine in. He still had her backpack slung over his left shoulder and he didn't appear in any hurry to set it down.

"Emma and I will just stay in here. Thanks again, man. Don't want to trouble you any more than we have to." Neal plopped down on the bed after he dropped the suitcase and bag on the trunk at the end of the bed. "C'mon, babe." Neal patted the bed next to him. "After being on the road the last few days, this bed is heaven."  
Emma's eyes widened in horror. What would Killian think to know that they just drove through without stopping, because they could barely afford gas for their stolen car, let alone hotels?

"Oh." Killian seemed startled. "I didn't even think that you spent all that time getting here." He dropped her backpack by the door as he headed out. "I'll let the two of you rest."

After he pulled the door closed, Emma released the breath she didn't realize she had been holding. She had always had a hard time trusting people, but there was something about Killian that made her feel guilty not revealing the truth of the situation.

"Babe? Emma?"  
Emma glanced over at Neal, after she realized that she had been staring at the closed door of the bedroom. "Yeah?"

"Let's get some rest. The next few days are going to be pretty long." Emma watched him kick off his sneakers and pull his legs under the blankets.

After sleeping in the Bug for the last week, a bed was a true luxury. In Portland, they usually hung around this one crappy motel where residents didn't always close their doors when they checked out and she and Neal would get to enjoy a few hours in a real bed before housekeeping arrived. But this, this was an actual bed, in an actual house, under a roof that didn't leak. Here she could relax and rest like she hadn't done in about a decade. It would feel like heaven, if only she could convince herself to enjoy it.

Emma slowly slipped off her sweater and purse, setting them neatly atop the suitcase and then toed off her patent leather flats. Pulling the covers back slightly, Emma laid down underneath. The bed was like a cloud it was so soft. And there wasn't any of those pesky lumps that she and Neal had to fight with on the hotel mattresses. Her head settled back onto the pillow and her eyes slipped closed.

That was the last thing she remembered until she awoke some time later. It was dark out and her stomach growled. Neal was no where to be seen. However, a tray with a sandwich, a bottle of water and chips rested on the credenza. After satisfying her hunger she went in search of Neal, or if she was really honest with herself, Killian.

CSCS

Emma came into the room. His back may have been to her, but he was well aware of the lightness of the footfalls on the hardwood floor couldn't belong to Milah's son, Neal. He heard her pour some of the rum he kept on the sidebar into a glass and when he heard her approach, he turned slightly toward her.

Her blonde hair was still pulled tight into her long blonde ponytail. Her face, however, hand been cleaned of the makeup she had worn earlier. Otherwise, despite a few extra wrinkles in her skirt, she was still dressed much as she had been before.

She handed him a cut crystal glass filled half-way with the amber liquid. Her own glass held some, but it just barely covered the bottom of the glass.

He took the offered glass and saluted her with it before taking a long swallow. It burned down his throat and into his empty belly. Killian could feel a flush come over his cheeks as the liquor warmed him. He gave her sideways grin.

"Trying to get me drunk, lass? Shouldn't that be more of my line?"  
"Would you?" she asked as she took a tentative sip from her own glass.

"No." Killian glanced around the room in an attempt to get his bearings. He shouldn't feel like an inexperienced teenager when he was about to bury his wife the next day. "How old are you anyway?"  
"Eighteen." She shrugged as if it wasn't any big deal.

Killian reached over and removed the glass from her hand with a frown and set it upon the window ledge. The fact that the expensive crystal teetered barely registered.

"I'm not going to tell anyone that I've had anything to drink. You don't have to worry." She reached back and grasped the glass.

A soft gasp escaped her lips as his hand covered hers. He heard it as much as he could sense it. Tingles ran up his arm at the contact. He should let her go. Instead one of his fingers caressed over the back of her hand. Her skin was so soft.

"Damnit." Killian stalked off to the fireplace and drowned the rest of the liquid in his glass in one long drink.

He heard her take the glass back to the side board and set it down. "How old are you?"

He heard her question, even though it was barely more than a whisper. His mind and body were so attuned to her. This had to stop. His wife wasn't even laid to rest. His wife who he had loved deeply. "Twenty-two."

"You're younger than Neal." It was more of a statement than a question, so Killian let it go, instead lifting his glass again to his lips and discovering it empty.

They remained there in silence for several minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable, though it should have been, as they couldn't even look at each other. Killian knew next to nothing about this girl, while even with his own wife, he found many of their quiet moments uncomfortable.

Her hand descended on his shoulder and he turned to find that she had moved across the room to him. "Thank you for letting us stay here. Neal wasn't sure if you'd let us."

He tried to brush off her gratitude and her hand at the same time, more uncomfortable by her touch than her words. "It's no problem, really. Milah as Neal's mother and this was her home before it was even mine."

Killian hadn't even been sure at the time why he had offered up the invitation. It had thrown him when Neal introduced himself. The last year whenever Milah discussed her son, Killian had assumed Neal was some teenager, who had run away from his father's house. Not an adult who was older than Killian.

"I wish I had family like you," she said wistfully, causing Killian's hear to break a little.

"I don't have family. Not anymore." Killian really didn't mean to sound so cutting, but he felt horrible that she seemed to deflect it as if it was second nature.

She shrugged. "Well, if we can't be family, maybe we could just be friends. Friendless orphans like ourselves need to stick together."

Her lips curved slightly in a broken smile. If Killian had thought she was pretty before, with even a partial smile touching her lips, Killian could see that if she let the smile overtake her, she would be devastatingly beautiful. He shook his head and wished his glass would magically refill itself. He had to stop thinking like this. Killian stalked back to the sideboard. He wasn't sure if he should have another drink, or if his drinking was causing him to lose his mind. Instead, he slammed the glass down, the crystal biting into his hand.

"Hey, babe. I was wondering where you had gotten to."

Killian turned and saw Neal approaching Emma. His arm flung over her shoulders, staking his rightful claim.

"Where have you been, Neal?"  
He shrugged casually. "Been a while since I've been in town, so I just thought I'd catch up with some people I haven't seen. You wouldn't have had much fun or I would've taken you along."

"Oh."

Emma didn't sound convinced and Killian couldn't blame her. "So, Neal, where were you before? Milah never said."  
Neal seemed to only then realize that Killian was in the room. "Hey, Killian. Were you keeping my girl entertained?"  
"No, actually, I interrupted his solitude," Emma responded.

"Whatever. Anyway, glad Killian kept you from being lonely."

Killian watched their interplay. For as much as their body language screamed a couple of young people in love, their words were laced with sarcasm and patronization, which wasn't something one would expect to hear.

"Portland."

"What?" Neal asked down to Emma confused.

"Killian asked where we were when we found out about Milah," she told him as she stepped out from under Neal's arm. "We were in Portland, Oregon."

"That was quite a drive. I'm surprised you made it here as quickly as you did." Killian had know Gold had gotten the first call about Milah's accident because she hadn't updated her contact information, but that meant Milah's ex had called Neal even before Killian received the call from the hospital apologizing for not realizing they should have told him, her current spouse, first. Frustration was nothing new to Killian in the last few days, but once again, he felt like he played second fiddle in Milah's life. He'd have to see Dr. Hopper again to ask why he was feeling like this. Milah's family had every right to know. They'd known her longer. Hell, Neal was older than he was for Christ's sake, something he never even knew until Neal showed up at his front door.

Milah's death was unraveling mysteries about her life that he had never known existed. Which made him believe he did not know the woman he married at all. He was about to bury a stranger who looked like his wife. He raked his hands through his hair. This had to stop.

Killian glanced over at the couple who were having a quiet conversation amongst themselves. It looked more like a mini argument, but Killian did not feel the need to interrupt. Instead, he quietly excused himself and left them to whatever they were discussing.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Once again thanks goes out to my great beta reader aimeeloren and also to Just4FunVids925 for a wonderful video. And also to all the wonderful people who have been reading and following this story. Thank you one and all.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. I am just borrowing them for a time from the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 3 - He Was Always There To Help Her:**

When Killian awoke around six the next morning, he never expected to find Emma in the kitchen crying. He was dressed for his morning jog in a pair of ratty sweatpants that Milah had insisted needed to go in the rag bin, a university hoodie and sneakers well past due for cleaning. They weren't exactly clothes meant to do anything but keep him warm and comfortable during his run. Instead, he used the sleeves of his hoodie to wipe the tears from her eyes, while his threadbare pants did nothing to relieve the bite of the hard kitchen floor on his knees as he knelt by her chair.

"What happened, lass?"

She sniffed into her scrunched up napkin and a few more tears escaped before she choked out, "Neal left again. He disappeared yesterday, too. He refuses tell me anything."  
"He probably just went to see his father, love. Nothing to worry about. I'm supposed to meet him in," Killian looked up at the microwave for the time, "two hours for the final preparations. If he's there, I'll drive you over."  
"Thank you," she mumbled around her tissue.

He gave her a gentle smile. "It's fine, lass. I've been in a similar boat the last few days myself." He went and brought the box of tissues over to the table so that they were closer to Emma. "As you said last night, maybe we all just need a friend to talk to every now and then."  
"And you have been more than kind. You don't even know anything about me."

"Well, maybe I'd like the chance to." _Now where the hell had that come from_? He just lost his wife. And why did he have to keep reminding himself of that fact every time he was around her?  
Frustrated with himself, he walked over and slammed open cabinets for the hell of it. "Help yourself to whatever you wish to eat. I need to head out for a run." He turned and began to head out the back door when he heard her call his name. "Yes, love?"  
"Would you happen to have any hot cocoa?"

He shut the door and turned back, grinning. "Now that I think I can help with."

CSCSCSCSCS

Emma was relieved when Killian finally left for his run. She was the kind of person who waited for the other shoe to drop and after he found out that she and Neal were nothing more than common thieves, she knew that he was bound to be furious. On top of that, he made her nervous and jumpy. He made her feel things that made her heart race. She knew she shouldn't feel this way. She was involved with Neal and Killian had just lost his wife. It was wrong in so many ways.

She had found a container of Cool Whip in Killian's freezer and put a dollop on top of her freshly made cocoa and once she spotted his spice rack she found a container of cinnamon. She hadn't had the pleasure of enjoying her favorite beverage in so long. And to know she was able to sit and savor it without thought that someone would come along and accuse her of thievery was even nicer. She dipped her index finger in the smooth white cream and brought it to her lips. Delicious.

Emma wrapped her hands around the warming ceramic of the butterfly mug she had chosen and leaned her head gently on the kitchen table in front of her. She had cried in front of Killian, not exactly the impression she had wanted to make this morning, but she had been so sure Neal had been downstairs when she woke up that when she discovered he had disappeared again she couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes. Mainly because Emma knew one day, Neal, just like everyone else who had been in her life, would leave and never look back. It's what people did. A lot of times, Emma could read the signs and she tried to leave before they did to avoid the disappointment.

When the house phone rang shrilly, Emma jumped and ended up spilling her cocoa all over her shirt and the stickiness pulled against her skin. She grabbed the kitchen towel from the oven and threw it over the spreading spill on the table as she stumbled to reach the phone receiver.

"Hello," she said breathlessly as she mopped the spill.

"Emma, it's Neal. I'm over at my father's. Do you think you could get a ride with Killian over here?"

"You took the Bug?" _Of course, he did_. He probably took it last night, too, but she hadn't thought much about it until now.

"It's my car." He said it so matter of factly. Up to that point, despite the fact that Neal had stolen the Volkswagen Bug first and then she stole it while he was sleeping in it, Emma always considered it theirs. It seemed any joint property was chalked up to her own foolishness.

Emma fingered the keychain fob she had attached to her jeans that morning. Neal had stolen it from a grocery store they robbed just a few days before the call had come in about Milah. The day they discussed running off to Tallahassee, Florida and starting over. Maybe, she and Neal needed to revisit that conversation. After spending the last several hours here in this house, Emma just wanted someplace she could call hers.

"Look, Emma, I gotta go. See you soon, babe."

Releasing the phone slowly, Emma felt tears once again prick at the back of her eyes. She was stronger than this, so why was she crying over everything today? She and Neal were just going through a rough patch now that they were dealing with his mother's death. That had to be all it was. Couples had fights all the time, she had to remember that. Neal was her first real relationship and she had to keep reminding herself that things were going to be okay on a daily basis.

Finishing the cleanup, Emma dumped her mug into the sink with the other dishes that had piled up. Killian must have been too distraught the last few days to worry about them. To make up for the fact that they were staying there, she decided she'd help out and clean the dishes, but first she had to get out of this wet and sticky shirt.

Grabbing the sopping wet cloth from the table, she spotted a picture frame on the countertop nearby. Her curiosity got the better of her and she walked to it. A beautiful, older, dark-haired woman with eyes such a clear blue you could almost see through them stood there with Killian. His arms were wrapped around her waist, an expression of love evident as his eyes looked down at her. It wasn't a traditional wedding picture in any sense of the word, but Emma suspected that was what it was all the same. Her finger traced over Killian's face and when she realized what she did, she became disgusted with herself. Setting the frame back, she turned away from the smiling couple and decided to search out the laundry room.

It wasn't too far from the kitchen. She turned on the washer, adjusting the dials and dumped some soap inside. In went the kitchen towel that was stained with spilled chocolate. She whipped her still wet shirt over her head and threw it inside.

"Emma?"

Her head rose and she looked around, but then Killian appeared in the doorway. She saw the blood rush to his face, as his eyes traveled over her jeans and black bra clad body. She watched as he reached inside and grabbed a blue button-down shirt from a pile of clothes nearby. She caught it as he flung it toward her.

Emma slipped her hands inside the sleeves, as he seemed to try to recover himself. "Neal called," she told him. "He is with his dad."

"So, you finally heard from him."

Emma wasn't quite sure if it was a question or a statement, so she shrugged one shoulder just in case. She buttoned the slightly too big shirt that had to have been Killian's and realized he wasn't quite meeting her eyes. "Yeah."

He cleared his throat. "Good. Well, I need to grab a shower and I'll be ready to go."

"Sorry about the mess in the kitchen."  
This time he did look at her and gave her the tiniest of smiles. "What mess?"

With that he turned and left. When Emma returned to the kitchen, as she tucked in the ends of the shirt into her pants, she realized Killian had already finished cleaning the remnants of her spill. He didn't need to do that, but it was nice to have someone help her without being asked.

Rolling up the sleeves, Emma set to work rinsing the dishes in the sink and stacking them inside the dishwasher. But her mind wandered during the menial task to the man upstairs.

Killian was an enigma. He came off as a guy who really cared about people, but according to one of the letters Emma pilfered from the stack Neal kept from his mother that he hid tied together at the bottom of his knapsack, Milah accused Killian of being selfish, only caring about himself and his quest to right the wrong committed against his brother, who had passed away a year before the letter had been penned. From what Emma could deduce about Killian, it wasn't that he was selfish but that he cared and cared deeply about the people he loved. To be loved like that would be a wonderful thing.

Killian came back into the kitchen after she had loaded the dishwasher and had begun to wipe down the counters and table. He looked amazing in his tight black jeans and white button-down shirt that was rolled up on his strong forearms.

"Ready to go or do you want to change first?"  
Emma looked down at her disheveled appearance. She was still in Killian's blue dress shirt and her slightly cocoa stained jeans. She put a hand to her hair which was half falling out of the ponytail she had put it in earlier. This definitely was not the impression she wanted to make on Neal's father the first time she met him.

"Can you wait ten minutes?"

Killian nodded. "Trust me, I'm in no hurry to have the conversation that's waiting for me when we get to Gold's house."  
"Thank you." Without thinking about it, Emma rushed over to him and pecked him on the cheek. At his stunned expression, she froze and blushed. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking. I'll just… I'll be right back."

She hurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the room she was sharing with Neal. She went to the suitcase and pulled out her only other pair of jeans and her white tank top and brown sweater. One thing Emma looked forward to when she and Neal decided to settle down somewhere, was the ability to get a few more pieces of clothes. She was sick of wearing the same clothes over and over. If she wasn't already planning to wear her black and white striped shirt and black pencil skirt tomorrow for the funeral, she'd wear it now. With her limited collection of clothes, what she was wearing was going to have to do. At least they were clean.

Quickly, she changed and stuffed Killian's shirt inside her backpack. She wasn't quite ready to return it, but she didn't need Neal to question her about it.

She ran to the bathroom, fixed her hair and applied some lipstick. Emma didn't have enough time to put on any more makeup. As it was, she slid back into the kitchen right at ten minutes past the time she exited.

Killian was sitting in the spot she had vacated earlier, sipping tea from a mug she had spotted in the cabinet earlier when she fetched her own. He looked up and gave her a brief once over before he stood and placed his mug in the sink.

"Thanks, lass, for taking care of the dishes," he told her as he gathered his keys and wallet from the table.

"Least I could do," she said as she slid her purse strap over her head. "You were kind enough to let us stay here."

He ushered her out the door, his hand rested on the small of her back. Tingles shot through her body from the contact. "Glad to have the company. It keeps my mind off everything that has been going on."

Emma wanted to hug him. Sure people had left her behind, but never had she dealt with the finality of death. It must be hard, not just on Killian but on Neal, as well. She would just have to be there for them, while staying out of the way.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who has been enjoying this story. I appreciate all the favs and follows.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters, I am borrowing them from the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 4 - She Always Belonged To Someone Else:**

Killian had just finished his run and he decided to get a coffee at a nearby shop when he spotted Emma in the line ahead of him. He heard her order a couple of donuts and when she searched frantically through her purse for the couple of dollars she needed to pay, he felt compelled to give it to her, but knew she wouldn't appreciate the embarrassment.

He saw her eyes glow triumphantly at the guy behind her when she pulled out the correct amount, handed over the money and accepted the paper bag. He scrunched down behind the guy in front of him so she wouldn't notice him. He turned and watched her exit the coffee shop and wondered where she might be off to next.

When his turn came he quickly ordered and paid. If he planned things right he might have a half hour to relax at the park with his drink before he had to head home and prepare for Milah's funeral. Her body was to finally be at rest. Today was the end of his relationship with the woman he thought to spend the rest of his life with and the beginning of his life left to come, for whatever fate had in store for him.

He wandered over to a park bench and sat down. As Killian took a sip of hot coffee he realized Neal was walking in his direction. Killian was about to raise a hand in greeting when he saw Emma pop up from around the tree Neal was strolling past. She held up her bag of donuts like she won a prize.

Killian slumped down on the bench and balled his hands together. He didn't want to interrupt whatever quite moment that the two of them might be sharing. Today was going to be hard enough as it was.

Neal seemed surprised to see her. Killian watched as they walked. Emma's hand kept coming up and touching Neal as if in comfort, while Neal's head hung low. Killian could well guess the emotions running through Neal, as Killian had also lost his mother tragically. It was devastating to know your parent's life was cut short when they still seemed so young.

As he continued to drink his coffee, Killian wished that he had someone he could lean on. But it was not to be and it never had been easy each time he lost someone close to him. He lost his mother when he was ten. His father quickly turned to drink to numb the pain, leaving Killian and his older brother, Liam, to mostly fend for themselves. When Killian was thirteen, his father disappeared from their lives. To this day, Killian was unsure of whether his father was alive or dead. Then just a couple of years ago, right before school started up again, his brother, Liam, who had become a pseudo-parent after their father's disappearing act, passed away from blood poisoning.

One day, Killian had been out sailing with his brother and the next he was planning his funeral. Liam said as he lay dying he suspected where he contracted it, but by the time he had a chance to realize he was sick enough to get medical care, he was too far gone and he died in Killian's arms aboard the vessel they sailed. It wasn't until Killian read his brother's daily journal that he learned the harsh truth of what lay behind his brother's passing.

Killian leaned on his legs and rested his head in his hands. Tragedy seemed to follow him. Even after leaving Ireland and coming to school in the States, it found him. Killian used to share his grief with Milah and she comforted him like no other. It was what made him fall in love with her. And now he had to bury her as well.

You would think by now he would have learned not to take a chance. Not to get too close. Not to love again. It only brought him devastating heartache. Yet, for some reason, he sat here pining over a young woman who was involved with his wife's son.

It couldn't and shouldn't happen. Standing abruptly, he grasped his cup and crushed it in his hand, unmindful of the cold remains of liquid that stained his hand. He tossed it into the nearby garbage can and headed off toward his house. The only thing he needed to worry about today, was to get through the day without bawling his eyes out in front of all of Milah's family and friends. He didn't kid himself, he would barely know anyone at the church and burial service. This was to be a celebration, though a somber one, of Milah's life and Killian was hardly part of it enough to warrant recognition.

**CSCSCSCSCS**

Emma awoke later that night around one and saw Neal sneaking out of their room, shoes in hand so as not to make a sound. With one eye partially open she watched him leave.

As quietly as she could, she slipped into her bra under the tank she was wearing. Looking down, she thought that she was dressed enough to wander the house in her tank and stretch pants. Carefully, she eased open the handle and slipped past the door.

Emma almost screamed when she saw Killian in the hallway. He seemed to be lurking in a dark corner and with his disheveled funeral clothes, he looked like a spectre of death himself.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I live here."

"Killian," she said in exasperation.

"Are you looking for Neal?" Killian fiddled with his already loosened black and white tie, releasing the knot completely.

"Yes."

"He just left. I saw him as I was coming in the house."

She watched as he undid his cufflinks and placed them in his black dress pants pocket. His voice carried a rough edge to it, as if he was still overcome with emotion.

"Where were you?" Emma wanted to kick herself for asking. She had no right to know, and yet she very much wanted an answer.

"Walking." He scrubbed a hand through his thick dark locks and from the state of his hair, this hadn't been the first time that night that he had. As a matter of fact, this version of Killian, with his face covered in scruff and his mussed appearance, was the worst she had ever seen him. So, it was so very wrong for her to feel attracted to him.

"I'm so sorry, Killian."

He gave her a self-deprecating smile. "Hey, it isn't your fault my wife was hit by a drunk driver. And it wasn't your fault she was coming home alone the other night. And it, sure as bloody hell, isn't your fault she's dead."

He whipped the tie from neck and opened a couple buttons on his shirt. She could feel the blood rush to her cheeks as more of his chest became exposed. She was acting as if she had never seen a man undress before, which was ridiculous as she had seen Neal naked many times.

He began to walk past her to the linen closet at the very end of the hallway. As he slipped by his arm brushed over her breasts and her nipples hardened instantly in response. She reached out and grasped his arm.

Killian stopped abruptly at the contact. His head turned and his eyes met hers.

"I'm still sorry. I wish I could say or do more," she told him.

He had no idea what came over him at that moment. Good form and whatever morals he had been brought up with escaped. His hand that wasn't in Emma's grip came around and buried itself in her hair. He stepped forward and she stepped back until she was parallel to the wall, which she now leaned against. His face was inches from hers, their breaths mingling in the cool air of the hallway.

"Say stop," he whispered with ragged desperation. "Hell, say no. Say anything, Emma."

"Killian," she moaned before she pressed herself closer.

His lips possessed hers in a kiss that almost shattered his soul. He felt one of her arms reach around his waist and pull him closer while her other came up and wrapped around his neck. He could barely register what his own hands were doing as every part of his body was reveling in the contact of her body against his lips and nether regions.

When her hand slipped from his neck and slid inside his shirt, he let out an animalistic growl and then a moan that sounded like he was in pain. The need for human contact the last few days caught up to him. He felt himself slam her to the wall as he ground against her. Never in all his sexual encounters had he ever felt this brutal need to conquer, to claim something or someone for his own.

"Killian, you okay, man?"

He barely registered Neal's voice as it floated up the stairs, but Emma stiffened immediately in his arms. Reluctantly, he let her go as she pushed away from him. Slowly, he opened his eyes. He licked his lips already missing her taste. He watched as she fumbled with nervous fingers to the left of her for the door handle to her room.

She slipped inside as Neal reached the top of the landing. Killian turned toward the older man and blocked Neal's view of the door so he couldn't see it close.

"I'm fine. Just trying to grab a towel. Hope I didn't wake up Emma." Killian scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling the stubble that lined his jaw. He hoped he hadn't burned Emma's skin enough for Neal to notice, but at the same time, took perverse pleasure in knowing that he would've been the one to put it there.

"Nah, man. She sleeps through everything. You wanna share a drink?"  
Killian went to the linen door that he had almost reached five minutes prior, opened it and grabbed a towel, before closing it behind him. "No. I've had enough already, but go ahead and help yourself to the liquor cabinet. I'm going to shower and go to bed. This day feels like it was been a full week already."

"I know what you mean." Neal agreed with a small nod of his head.

"Good night, Neal."

"Yeah, 'night, Killian."

Killian watched Neal turn back down the stairs, then he headed off to the room he had once shared with Milah. _What the hell had he been thinking_? He kissed Emma. He kissed her the day he buried his wife. He kissed her with Neal in the house and Milah's ring on his hand.

"Damnit." He slammed his fist through the wall of his bedroom. Pulling it out past the plaster, he examined it. White flakes covered his hand and blood pooled on his knuckles.

He shook it to make sure no bones were broken and thankfully his left hand appeared to be fine despite the broken skin. After his shower he'd have to bandage it, but that was a small price to pay after his stupidity.

Throwing the towel on his bed, he stripped out of his funeral attire. He rubbed his right hand across his chest and pulled at some of the hair just to feel the pain. It just reminded him he was alive.

At the funeral, he had talked to Dr. Hopper about scheduling an appointment the next afternoon after he went back to class. Next week was the last week before finals and graduation. He had to get his head back into the game. He couldn't afford to screw it up now. He needed to graduate and get a job. He had a mortgage to pay for and all on his own now, let alone the rest of the bills that were sure to come in. A large chunk of the savings he and Milah had went into her funeral arrangements. He hadn't yet received any payments from insurance though just yesterday, or was it the day before now that it was only a few hours until morning, he was informed that he was to be issued the checks soon.

Blasting hot water, Killian stepped into his shower. He just needed to get cleaned up, then he could surrender himself to the blissfulness of sleep for a short time.

**CSCSCSCS**

Sleep was evading Emma. Her hand was still pressed to her kiss swollen lips. She kissed Killian. She kissed Neal's step-father. It didn't matter that he was closer to her age than Neal was. She kissed him and what was worse she wished Neal had never interrupted them. How horrible of a person was she?

The man just buried his wife. Neal had apparently been downstairs. How could she let herself act on her out of control hormones? Not that she had an intention of kissing Killian until he wrapped his arms around her, but once she was locked in his arms, all she wanted was for him to never let go. She should have said no when he asked. He would have stopped, Emma was sure of that. She was the one who encouraged him.

She had to make herself stop thinking about this. Neal was bound to come back to bed at any time. She forced her eyes shut and commanded her hand to rest by her side, yet with her eyes closed, her mind went on replay. Her thighs clamped together tightly at the memory.

This was going to be a long night.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Aimeeloren is the best beta ever. Okay, just had to get that out there. Thank you to everyone who has been following this story and including it with your favorites. I also appreciate the really great reviews. Captain Swan fans really are the best. **THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M - FOR MATURE CONTENT.**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 5 - I Drove For Miles And Miles And Wound Up At Your Door:**

Emma stared at the clock for a second adjusting her eyes to view the time. She needed to sleep, dawn wasn't far away and Neal was already in bed. This time as she snuggled lower into the warm sheets, her mind began to wander back to the trip she and Neal took from Portland to Storybrooke as sleep finally overtook her.

_ Neal and Emma had been on the road for about twenty-four hours when they were in their first serious argument of their relationship. Considering the fact that they had only been together the last six months, it really didn't seem all that bad, except for the fact that Emma was a long way from anywhere she knew when Neal threatened to let her out of the car in Nebraska. _

_ She had taken a deep breath and pretended to sleep to diffuse the situation. Neal was just worked up over the fact that they didn't have any more money to pay for gas and they still had a long way to go to get to Maine. Neal might argue further that he was just nervous about seeing his father for the first time in almost eight years and the fact that he now had to face the issue of his mother's actual passing, but Emma knew it was the fact that they were dead broke, tired and hungry._

_ Her stomach growled at the thought of food and she opened her eyes reluctantly. She dragged her purse off the floorboard in front of her. Digging inside, she pulled out a couple pieces of beef jerky she had been saving for an emergency. Emma handed one to Neal and tore open the other. _

_ "Thank you."_

_ Emma glanced over at Neal. He snacked upon the thin strip of beef while his other hand gripped the steering wheel tightly. It seemed he was still annoyed. That was fine, she wasn't very happy with the situation either._

_ What bothered her more was the realization they had to face once they reached Maine. Their choices were to continue to sleep in the Bug, ask Neal's father to allow them to stay with him, which Neal did not want because of the long standing feud with his dad, or to ask Neal's new step-father for a room at his house. Neal hadn't told her much about the guy who married his mother, but what Emma had heard about him wasn't very appealing._

_ Milah had been writing to Neal for the past year, however, the last few letters that Milah sent spoke of her new spouse and what she wrote wasn't always very nice. Emma pictured a mean older man, very much like one of her foster fathers that she had run away from. If Killian Jones was anything like that man, she was not looking forward to spending any time with him. _

_ That evening, they stopped at a rest area and they both actually slept instead of taking turns sleeping while the other drove. It took another full day, but they reached Neal's mother house late in the afternoon, just two days before her funeral. _

_ Emma quickly swiped some fresh lipstick across her lips before exiting the car, unsure of why she was primping. Neal was going to follow her up with their luggage, in hopes of their eminent stay. She knocked on the door, wishing she wouldn't have to confront Neal's step-father by herself. _

_ Instead of who she expected, a young man opened the door with a hesitant smile. Emma had no idea who he could be but figured he had to either be one of Neal's relatives, which as far as she knew he didn't have many, work there, this was a big house after all, or be his step-father. _

_ She blinked several times while she took him in. He was beautiful. Okay, most guys wouldn't have been thrilled to be described as such, preferring such words as rugged or handsome, but he was. Emma was speechless before him for what felt like forever, but quickly recovered herself. Despite his somewhat disheveled appearance, he was eye-catching in the extreme. From his slim figure, that seemed to be just muscular enough for Emma's taste, to his dark locks, to his stunning blue eyes, he was gorgeous. And it wasn't every day a person came across someone with eyes like those. They were so blue they could make you feel like you were drowning in an endlessly clear pool._

_ When he introduced himself as Killian Jones, Emma almost fell over. It was a good thing Neal decided to appear so she had someone to lean on. Neal appeared unfazed by the man before them, almost as if he was aware the guy his mother married was around his same age. Hell, maybe Neal did. Lately, he had been coming off more and more secretive and this trip seemed to have made the action more prominent._

_ Emma followed them inside. The whole time she was unable to take her eyes off the intriguing man in front of her. He very much reminded her of an actor she had a crush on several years ago. Emma had saved some money and bought a magazine in which he had been featured. She had slept with that magazine under her pillow for months. When she attended class, it was in her backpack. It had been her most prized possession. It was the first thing she looked at when she awoke and the last thing she gazed at before she slept. And when she needed comfort, it was the words of that actor she read. But, now, she was confronted with someone who wasn't inside a magazine. He was real and in front of her and she had the dangerous thought that he might be someone she could see herself falling for, if she hadn't already been involved with Neal. Add to the fact that he was Neal's step-father and that he had just lost his wife, and anything between them was next to impossible. Life could be so good and so cruel at the same time. _

Emma awoke to the memories of their arrival fresh on her mind. Not that it was any surprise as Killian had been in her thoughts until sleep overtook her, long after Neal had stumbled back to bed with the strong odor of liquor lingering over him.

She turned over and sat up slightly to gaze over Neal's sleeping form at the alarm clock for the umpteenth time in the last ten hours. It was after noon. _That's what happens when you fall asleep sometime around dawn_, she reprimanded herself.

Running to the bathroom across the hall, she used the facilities and brushed her teeth and hair. Rarely did she wear her contacts, but she put those in as well. It wasn't like she was trying to impress Killian. _She really wasn't_.

She stumbled down the stairs still in her tank top and stretch pants wondering what she could find in the kitchen to eat. Never had she had the resources or permission to roam through full cabinets for food. It was liberating.

As she finished descending, she saw Killian placing his keys and coat down. "Where have you been?"

_ Why did she keep asking him these things_? Emma bit her tongue hard at the foolishness of her question. She had no hold over him, but apparently he consumed her enough for her to make a fool of herself.

"Class. I just came back to grab a quick lunch before I head to my last one of the day."

Emma walked over to the door and grabbed the sweater she left hanging there and put it on. She grabbed the door handle to steady herself as she heard his voice, closer this time, ask her where she was going.

"Nowhere. Just cold," she told him and rubbed her hand up and down her arms. Not really because of the cold, but because just his voice could make her body react. "Killian…"

"Emma, I…" came out of his mouth at the same time.

Both of them faltered. They stared at each other. Emma could feel the longing in her gaze even if that wasn't what she wanted to project.

"Go ahead," she told him.

"No, it's only good form if I allow you to go first." He waved at her to continue.

Emma ducked her head briefly before she looked back at him. He was once again dressed casually in a plaid shirt, unbuttoned except for the last one, revealing a grey t-shirt underneath, and a pair of jeans. She noticed his hair was a ruffled mess, as if he rushed out of the house this morning without bothering to brush it. She actually wished she had the right to walk over to him and run her fingers through it, straightening it for him.

"I just wanted to apologize for last night," Emma said hesitantly.

"You have nothing to apologize for, love. Now, I on the other hand."

"Please, stop calling me that." She knew she said please, but why did her voice actually sound so pleading? She knew why. Every time he called her that she wished she was, his love that is. Okay, now she was just being a silly teenage girl. Killian didn't want her. He wants someone beautiful and mature like his wife, she scolded herself. She couldn't compare in a million years.

Now it was his turn to break eye contact and Emma felt the loss all the way to her stomach. "I'm sorry, lo-. I'm sorry."

Emma's feet carried her over to him on their own violation. Her traitorous hand, reached up and cupped his cheek. She felt the stubble bite into her hand, but she didn't care. His eyes shot to hers. Now it was his turn to plead. She saw it in the deep blue darkening depths of his eyes. However, she couldn't determine if he was silently asking for her to stop or to kiss him.

She was about to choose the later, come what may, when a thunderous sound came from the stairs. Neal was coming. Both of them jumped back, both their faces laced with guilt. Emma quickly began to head for the kitchen and some relative safety for a brief minute to regain her composure. Emma filled up the tea kettle and settled it on the stove to heat for some cocoa, just so her trembling hands would have something to occupy them.

"Hey, babe." Neal came over and planted a heated kiss on her lips, but her mind was on overdrive and she didn't respond. He pulled back and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Emma mentally shook herself. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Just thinking."

Neal stumbled over to the fridge and pulled out some orange juice, drinking straight from the container. Neal must still be feeling the after effects of the alcohol he consumed if he was drinking orange juice. It was the only time she ever saw him do it.

She looked back toward the living room. "Where's Killian?"

"He said he had to head out for a class and that he'd grab some lunch on the way," Neal informed her as he returned the juice and closed the refrigerator door. He plopped down on one of the kitchen chairs and gave her an assessing look. "Can you start some coffee? I could sure use a cup."

"No problem." Emma moved over to the coffee maker and began to prepare a strong brew to help Neal recover from his hangover.

"My dad asked me to stop by this afternoon. Will you be okay on your own or do you want to come?"

Emma was about to say she wanted to join him when she realized his voice inflection belied his invite. "I'll just hang around here. Or, maybe, I'll walk into town and go window shopping. Some of the shops we passed coming in the other day looked interesting."

"Why don't you do that." Neal reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a twenty. "Here, why don't you treat yourself to something while you're there."

Emma accepted the money and laid it on the counter next to the empty mug she had set out for her cocoa. "Where did you get the money, Neal?"

"Papa."

"And your father just gave you money out of the kindness of his heart after the two of you have barely spoken a word to each other in years?" Emma wondered whether Neal had been stealing not only from his own father but from Killian as well.

"Actually, yes, he did. Plus, part of the reason I'm heading back there is because he wants to go over a business arrangement he wants me to help him with. You should be happy. It might mean we get to settle down somewhere."

Emma watched him get up and grab a mug, slamming the cabinet door behind him, and roughly jerk the coffee pot over to him for some coffee. He didn't even seem to notice that he spilled part of the dark liquid across the counter. "I thought we were going to Tallahassee."

"We, we don't always get to choose our opportunities, princess. Sometimes, you have to deal with what you are handed. Grow up and smell the roses, Emma. Life will be so much easier for you that way."

Neal stormed out of the kitchen, taking his coffee with him. Emma slumped back against the counter. She swiped an errant tear from her eye. If she was crying again, maybe she did need to grow up.

Her lack of maturity was becoming an issue more and more with Neal. She turned the kettle on finally and went to the sink for a sponge to clean up Neal's mess. All the while, she let her thoughts roam.

Neal was her first love and her first real relationship. She counted on him as she never did before with anyone else. So, it was hard to have him keep pushing her away. But, then he'd do something that made her feel like he needed her as much as she need him and all felt right in her little world again. They had a give and take kind of relationship that worked for them. Or, at least, she thought so until they came to this sleepy little town called Storybrooke, Maine.

CSCSCSCSCS

Killian laid on the leather couch in Dr. Hopper's office while he waited for the man to finish his discussion with his secretary outside. He was tired. He barely had four straight hours of sleep before his brain woke him multiple times with thoughts of Emma pressed to his body. Her warm tongue tangling with his own.

He threw an arm across his face covering his eyes. It didn't make the memories go away. It just seemed to make them more pronounced as his mind had no other mental stimulation to deal with. He groaned in frustration as he felt himself hardening, as his brain allowed the memories of Emma's scent and feel wrap around itself. Making him wish he could loosen his pants to accommodate his thickening length.

The door opening had Killian jumping off the couch in embarrassment. He grabbed a magazine off the coffee table and held it loosely in front of his erection. Dr. Hopper took a look at the cover as he entered the room and snickered.

Looking down, Killian discovered it was a Victoria's Secret catalogue. _What the bloody hell_?

"Glad to see that's helped two patients today," Dr. Hopper teased.

Just thinking of what that catalogue may have helped with made Killian quickly drop it unceremoniously on the floor. He paced over to the doctor's desk where files, papers, books and jars covered the surface. Dr. Hopper just took his usual seat in the blue leather armchair next to the couch Killian had occupied.

After several minutes of silence, Dr. Hopper spoke. "How did classes go today, Killian?"

"Fine."

"And how are your house guests?"

Killian glared at the man over his shoulder while his hands fisted at his side. He really didn't want to get into his house guests right now, not when he was just finally getting control of his body. "Fine."

"I thought the reason you asked for an appointment today was so we could talk," Dr. Hopper said as he jotted something in his notepad.

"I did. I mean, I want to. Oh, bloody hell." Killian stormed back to the couch and sat down heavily.

"Whatever it is we can talk about it. What happens in this room is completely confidential," Dr. Hopper assured him.

"I kissed Emma."

"You what?" Dr. Hopper squeaked. Then he waved his hand. "Doesn't matter. Continue."

Killian glanced over at the man and realized that the man was furiously making notes. No, Killian wasn't _uncomfortable _at all. "I never realized Milah and I had problems. At least I never thought I did. But then, I kissed Emma last night, which I didn't mean to do, it just happened. It was then I realized that Milah and I were never close." Killian fiddled with the bandage that crossed his knuckles. It was that thought as he entered his bedroom that had him burying his hand in his bedroom's wall. Well, that and the fact that he wanted to push Neal down the stairs so he could ravish his own step-son's girlfriend. "I loved her, yet I never really let Milah in and I think she may have been thinking the same way. She had divorce papers in her drawer. She meant to give them to me the night she died. The truly sad part is that she had to die for me to realize this."

Dr. Hopper tapped his pen against his chin as he stared thoughtfully at Killian. "So, kissing Emma allowed you to see that you and Milah were having issues. Do you think if this happened while she was still alive you would have come up with the same conclusion?"

Killian stood. He could feel rage bubbling up inside him. "I would have never kissed Emma if I was still married."

"Hmm." Dr. Hopper once again wrote something on his paper.

"What?" Killian shouted.

"It hasn't even been a full week since Milah's death and already you have set your marriage aside," Dr. Hopper observed.

Killian shoved his left hand under Dr. Hopper's nose, showing off his wedding ring. "Does it look like I have abandoned the vows I took to Milah? Haven't you been listening? I was the one planning a romantic dinner for our anniversary, while Milah's goal was to slap down an envelope full of legal documents in front of me to sign to dissolve our marriage. Bloody hell, stop putting words in my mouth."

Dr. Hopper gave him a long look and wrote an observation onto his paper. Killian ran his hand through his hair. This wasn't how he thought this conversation would go in the slightest. Dr. Hopper continued to write, so Killian proceeded back over to the doctor's desk. He picked up a glass jar where a live cricket resided.

"You know, I've always wanted to dissect a cricket."

Dr. Hopper glared at him as if Killian was about to sit down and follow through with his announcement. Killian gave a gruff laugh and set the container back down. The good doctor was probably writing in his notes that Killian would be better off in an insane asylum. The good Lord knew Killian himself had been questioning his own sanity the last few days.

"You're going through a process, Killian," Dr. Hopper began as Killian turned back toward him. "But, I think that with the inclusion of whatever feelings you may be having for Emma, that your mind is having a hard time processing your loss. In my opinion, I believe once Emma and Neal leave that you'll hit a point where you will be going through the normal steps for loss. And with that you'll hit rage, depression, guilt and other emotions, not necessarily in that order. I'll be sure that my secretary provides you with the proper brochures if you wish to read more about it."

Dr. Hopper rose, tucking his notepad under his arm. "Whenever you are ready to talk further, feel free to contact my office and we'll set up a time. For now, I recommend you concentrate on your studies so you can graduate with the rest of your class. Let your mind focus on one task at a time."

The doctor led Killian over to the door and held out his hand and Killian shook it. "Thank you. For understanding. For offering to listen after Milah passed away. For not telling me I'm losing my bloody mind."

The doctor smiled. "You're not, you know."

"What?"

"Losing your mind. From what I observed of your relationship with Milah, I saw you looking for someone to be family and she fit the mother-like figure that you probably lost early in your life. Milah on the other hand was looking for someone to make her feel young and beautiful again. Someone who would sweep her up into some great adventure. Somewhere far away from the dull and ordinary life she believed resided inside these town lines."

Killian hated the fact that the doctor read him so well, which mean that he probably knew what he was saying about Milah as well, since he had been working with her for the past twelve years. And if the doctor's theory about Milah was true, it would explain why Milah was ready to leave Killian. He had no plans to leave Storybrooke anytime soon. Not at least until he could prove that the man Liam worked for set him up to die.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Thank you one and all for your continued support through this fiction. I am so happy everyone is enjoying this story. Thank you once again to aimeeloren for betaing my work. And also thank you to Just4FunVids925 for her wonderful video that inspired this.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters for this fiction. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 6 - I've Had You So Many Times But Somehow I Want More:**

"Emma are you in here?" Neal pounded on their locked bedroom door, causing Emma to drop her latest acquisition on the floor.

Neal had given her twenty dollars earlier that morning to treat herself to lunch while she explored the local shops in town. However, once she wandered into the second store, a small jewelry shop filled with unique pieces, she saw the small silver cross that lay in her palm and had to have it. It had cost more than the twenty dollars, but after offering to do a few things around the shop and bartering with the kind older lady, she was able to purchase it.

She tucked it inside its box before shoving inside her bag. Then, she began to walk to the door to let Neal in. "I'm coming. Hold on."

"What are you doing with the door locked?" he asked in an accusatory tone.

"Just getting dressed. I had to change my jeans after I spilled something on them," she lied.

"Oh." The steam seemed to go out of Neal all at once. "Okay. You ready to go?"

"Where?" Neal never mentioned that they were going anywhere that night.

"We're having dinner with my dad."

She glared at him and pulled out her dressier clothes, the ones in which she wore to Milah's funeral the day before. "It's nice of you to tell me now."

Neal grabbed some clothes and headed for the bathroom, which meant that she probably wouldn't be able to put on any more makeup. "I'll be ready in five. Try to be done in about ten minutes or we'll be late."

As usual, Emma barely made it, but she wished she could have the time to put in the effort to look nicer. The two of them walked out to the Bug and as Emma buckled her seatbelt, Neal turned to her excitedly. He held up the swan key fob he had given her, which meant that he pilfered through her purse. Her lips pursed at his audacity. Then she spotted exactly what Neal was holding, a key.

"Is that what I think it is?" Emma asked, trying not to be too happy in case it wasn't what she hoped it was.

"A key to our new apartment."

"Really?'

Neal nodded, a big grin on his face. Emma reached out and kissed him. They were finally going somewhere that was really theirs.

"How? Why? Where?"

Neal tossed her the key and started the car. "Dad has an apartment in Boston, so we're moving in. He arranged for me to get a job down there. And because he knows some people who don't ask questions, the Bug is now legally ours. So, we might not be heading to Tallahassee, Babe, but we can have our chance to start over."

Emma held the key aloft as Neal drove them through town. "I can't believe it. Our own place."

It was almost like Christmas and her birthday all wrapped up in one, but this time there were presents and true happiness included. She couldn't wait to get back and tell Killian.

However, it seemed that Neal's father, Mr. Gold, had other plans. After dinner at some swanky Italian restaurant, he brought them back to his huge house. It was so large two of the houses in Killian's neighborhood could have fit inside. Emma had thought the other day that it seemed excessive for one man to live in such a big house, but Mr. Gold seemed nothing but a man who like to throw his money and influence around. Neal's father had creeped her out the moment she met him.

Mr. Gold was a smarmy, older man with longer graying brown hair. His face was long and pointed, the description of which could also be used for his nose. Gold's teeth were uneven and crooked with some capped in pure gold. He walked with a limp and used a black cane with a solid gold handle. When Emma confronted Neal on his father's wealth, Neal just shrugged and told her that when he lived with him they were still just barely getting by, so it seemed Gold's wealth was recent. However, he used it to his every advantage. Even his last name was new. Robert Gold had once been Robert Cassidy, but it seemed the name didn't convey his newfound wealth and importance, so it was pushed to the side like most of his past. It struck Emma funny that a man who dealt with antiques refused to have much else around him that reminded him of his age. Even his girlfriend, Belle, was younger than Emma by a month.

About two in the morning, Neal drove them back to Killian's and Emma was never so happy to leave a place behind. However, she was fast asleep by the time they arrived.

Killian looked out his bedroom window when he heard a car door slam. He had been trying to finish studying for a review test he had the next day. Neal and Emma had finally returned from whatever activity occupied their evening. He saw Neal walk to the front door to knock, so Killian proceeded to go downstairs to let them back in.

When he answered the door, a tired Neal stumbled inside. If Killian wasn't sure if Neal was also drunk, the smell emanating from him confirmed Killian's suspicions as he brushed past him. "Where's Emma?"

"In the car, sleeping," Neal answered. "She'll be fine, it's not that cool out there."

"You're going to leave your girlfriend to sleep in the car?" Killian asked incredulously.

Neal just shrugged before he began to head up the stairs. "Not the first time."

Killian was stunned. Never in his life would he think to leave someone in the car asleep just because he was tired and it wasn't too cold out. Killian grabbed his leather coat from the hook on the back of the door, shrugging into it. Not having the time to go upstairs to gather shoes and shocks, he went out to the yellow Bug and knocked on the window. Emma didn't even stir.

He tried the door and it easily opened in his hand. Sliding the top of his body inside, he undid her seatbelt and tried to gently shake her awake. "Emma. Emma, love, it's Killian. You're home. Wake up."

She groaned slightly and her head came to rest on his shoulder, snuggling down into his neck. Killian moaned, not in any pain, but from his guttural reaction to the scent of her hair. She smelled like vanilla and strawberries.

Gently, he reached around her back and under her legs. He'd just carry her up to the guest room himself. He was amazed at how light she was in his arms as he straightened and used his hip to close the door. Walking up the driveway, he was glad he left his front door slightly ajar so he wouldn't have to jostle Emma to open it.

He kicked the door shut behind him, resolving to come back down and lock it once Emma was ensconced in a warm bed. Killian slowly proceeded up the stairs, careful of Emma's head and legs. One of her hands clasped the front of his shirt, heating his skin beneath, as her head rested on his chest. He gritted his teeth, Emma shouldn't fit so perfectly against him. Killian felt her hand rub up his chest and wrap around his neck as he stopped in front of the guest room door across the hall from where Neal rested. Neal's snore permeated the quiet night, angering Killian once again about Neal's lack of responsibility toward the woman in his life.

Shifting Emma slightly, he turned the knob that allowed him access into the darkened room. Walking to the bed, he crouched down slightly so he could reach the coverlet to pull it down. He laid Emma gently on the down filled pillow.

It turned his heart to mush to see her rest upon the bed he had once called his own. Before he married Milah and moved into this house, the things in this room had once been most of his possession that filled up the small apartment he called home. Killian slipped the small heeled boots from Emma's feet and laid them near the bed. He pulled the covers over her and realized for the first time that she didn't have her ever present purse over her shoulders.

He'd have to go back outside and see if it was still in the car. Killian knew he should leave to retrieve it and to lock up the house, but he stood there staring at the slumberous Emma. Her creamy skin seemed flawless with the light of the moon caressing her face. Was it any wonder that he felt compelled to kiss her lips before he took his leave. As his lips touched hers he felt like some story book character trying to wake his love from her slumber. Frustrated with himself, Killian raked his fingers through his hair and left the room.

He still had a few things to do before he could sleep and he had an early day tomorrow with an eight am biology class and a full schedule of classes to complete before he could rest for the weekend. It was doubtful, he's see Emma again until dinner.

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"About time you wake up," Neal said impatiently as he removed his hand from her shoulder where he had been shaking her awake and sat down by her side.

Emma blinked a few times and looked around the unfamiliar room "Where are we?"

"Mom's house."

Once again confusion passed over her until she realized they were back at Killian's. Sitting up, she realized was still dressed in the clothes she wore last night to dinner. Her hand went to her hair, which was falling out of the ponytail she had put it in the night before. She gazed up at Neal with confusion.

"We're in the other guest room," he informed her. "You were so tuckered out you were snoring, so I put you in here. Anyway, get up, we need to go."

"Where? What time is it?" Despite the dark drapes covering the window, it still seemed somewhat early in the morning, which was unusual. Neal hardly ever woke up before eight, even though that was a habit he seemed to have misplaced since coming to Storybrooke.

Finally, she spotted a small round clock hanging on the wall. According to the hands, it was only a quarter till six. Way too early for them to be awake after they had been out so late.

"We need to head to Boston. I've got an appointment at noon with a client of Dad's. So, let's go pack and get ready, I'd like to be out of here within the hour." Neal rose off the edge of the bed. "I'll go catch a shower before we leave so I won't have to worry about it when we get to Boston."

"Okay." It was all Emma could think to say. She was too stunned by the sudden turn of events. Neal and his father never mentioned they were leaving today. Rising from the bed and stretching slightly, she rushed out of the room in hopes of getting to the bathroom before Neal locked the door during his shower.

Emma got lucky and it was still empty. After she was done, Neal slid into the room and she went back to the room she had awoken in. Looking around, Emma realized it was a rather masculine room. It very much reminded her of a dorm. She had once gone to one back when she was at the group home, when they made all the older kids take a tour of the local college. She made her way over to the large oak dresser. On top of the surface was a model of a pirate ship, complete with a red Jolly Roger flag, glued in such a way that is seemed it was waving in a non-existent breeze.

Alongside it was a silver picture frame. She picked it up and saw a much younger Killian standing next to a slightly older male. At first Emma thought it was some guy Killian was friends with, but then she began to realize that the two carried some striking resemblances. Their eyes for one were both the same shade of Caribbean blue. Their stances and bearing very much mirrored each other. And their matching, dashing smiles seemed to carry the same glint of charm. Emma would bet her right arm that this guy was Killian's brother.

She flipped the picture frame over. Opening the back she spotted what she was looking for, a description. _Liam (22) and Killian (12) Jones. London, England_. _So, this is what Killian looked like ten years ago_, Emma thought as she turned the picture back so she could view his visage again. A smile quirked at her lips. Replacing the photo, Emma placed it back onto the spot it had previously occupied.

Turning, she spotted her purse on the nightstand next to the bed. It struck Emma as strange that it was there. Never had Neal remembered her purse if he brought her somewhere late at night. He would remark that she should have remembered it despite her slumberous state. Maybe, she had and she didn't remember. She grabbed it and her shoes before she went back across the hall to where she normally slept. Emma began to gather their belongings, folding and placing them inside the suitcase.

From her knapsack she pulled out a tank and a pair of jeans to change into for the day. Shaking the pants, the white box she shoved in there yesterday fell to the floor. Emma quickly picked it up, placing it inside her purse. She would have to try to give it to Killian before they left.

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Bloody hell, Killian thought to himself as he awoke the next morning. His body reacted like a hormonal teenager with his first wet dream. Gathering the stained sheets and ripping them from the bed, he shoved them into the laundry basket in his bathroom. Shucking his soiled pants, he threw them inside as well. Reaching back, he pulled his t-shirt over his head. He strode naked to the shower stall, opened the door and blasted the water.

Despite the slight chill to the water, Killian stepped inside. His right hand fisted and he placed it against the cool tile. He rested his head on his arm, allowing the water to sluice over his overheated skin. Despite the coolness of the water, his body reacted to the images still floating through his mind.

Killian groaned. Taking his stiffening erection in his left hand, he slowly stroked it, as his mind remembered the feel of Emma's lips against his own. He braced his legs apart as his body came quickly to completion. He threw his head back, biting his bottom lip so he wouldn't scream out her name.

His right arm thumped the wall in his anger. This was the second morning in a row he had to relieve the tension inside his body before his day could begin. Maybe Dr. Hopper was right and Emma and Neal needed to leave. If temptation was removed his mind might settle.

Grabbing the bar of soap, he quickly lathered his body. Only, his mind pictured Emma rubbing the soap across his chest. Her fingers combing over his hips, trailing down until she could capture the part of him that craved her touch more than Killian wanted his next breath.

Throwing the soap across the stall, he picked up the shampoo. In his mind's eye

it was Emma's hands that massaged his scalp, drawing slowly over his temples and fisting inside his hair as she pressed her body to his. He could almost feel her subtle curves settling into the contours and hollows of his own, as she drew his lips to her beckoning red ones.

"Bloody hell! Stop," he commanded himself gruffly. Rinsing himself under now frigid water, he once again clamped his enlarged member and allowed himself the luxury of finishing his body's erotic journey before he turned off the water and grabbed his towel. He proceeded to the sink and swiped his hand across the slight bit of perspiration that covered it. Staring at himself, he wondered what the hell was getting into him.

Never had he been able to reach completion this many times in such a short space of time. Not in his teenage fumblings. Not with Milah. Never. Yet, just the thought of Emma with her soft skin and her long blonde silken strands of hair had him jumping into uncharted waters.

He walked back into his bedroom, towel wrapped loosely across his hips. It was then he spotted the small box sitting on his bare bed. Someone had been in his room as he showered. It wouldn't matter to him as much if he hadn't left the door slightly ajar and allowed his body the pleasure of release.

Grabbing the box, he strolled over to his bedroom door and looked out into the hall. No one was there, but he noticed the door to Neal and Emma's room was open. Slamming his own door shut behind him, he went to sit on the edge of his bed.

The box was white in color and fit easily into his palm. He pulled the lid off and slid it under the bottom. Inside was a beautiful silver cross on a bed of puffy white. It had delicate scrollwork accenting the edges. As he went to pull it out he heard a crinkle. Sliding the pillow-like piece out, he saw there was a folded piece of paper. He pulled it out and placed the cross carefully back within the box.

Unfolding it the note the first thing he noticed was Emma's signature at the bottom. He rubbed his fingers over the script of her name before he perused her words. Crumpling it in his fist, he exited his room and stormed down the hall to the room that Neal and Emma occupied, slamming the door open in front of him.

As the letter indicated, it was empty of their presence. Unmindful of the cotton loosening around his waist, he ran downstairs. They were gone. As he pushed back the curtains, the sun shone brightly in, causing him to blink rapidly. Their yellow Volkswagen was gone. Clamping his hand on the towel, he caught it before it fell. Not that it mattered. He was alone. Once again, he was completely alone. You'd think he'd been used to the situation by now, he admonished himself. And with the tone of Emma's letter, he could expect to be that way for quite some time.

Killian threw the offensive sheet of paper in the wastebasket by the front door. He had a class he needed to get ready for. 


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Wow! This story is bringing in so many new people. Thank you to everyone who follows and favorites this story. I appreciate all of you taking time out of your day to read the words that I wrote. And a huge thank you to aimeeloren for continuing her service as a beta. Another humongous thank you to Just4FunVids925 for creating such a lovely video that inspired me to write this story.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters contained within this story. They belong to the franchise of OUAT.

**Chapter 7 - I Don't Mind Spending Every Day Out On Your Corner In The Pouring Rain**

Two weeks later, Killian was driving home from having drinks with some of the guys he went to school with when he spotted Emma's shirt peeking up at him from under his books in the passenger side seat. He'd thrown it in his car after staring at it for several days inside his house. She had forgotten to take it out of the laundry room once it was clean from her accident in the kitchen. Then forgotten it again in her haste to run off to Boston with Neal.

With graduation just two days away, Killian was relieved school was over. His last final finished this afternoon, thus the celebratory night of drinking with his friends. It had felt nice to be out again, though many of the guys weren't sure what to say to him. These were college guys who had been more concerned with how many beers they consumed and how many girls were in their beds between classes. Only one of them, David Nolan, had any sympathy to Killian's widower status. The recent loss of David's mother allowed him to understand what Killian might be going through.

The two guys had been in many of the same biology classes throughout the two years Killian had attended the university. David was studying to become a vet and Killian had completed his degree in marine biology. An internship that was meant to be part of his master degree program loomed in Killian's future, and with Milah's passing, he had to contemplate whether he intended to take the unpaid position or to even continue his education.

Killian pulled up to the stop sign just a few blocks from his house and just sat there. His left hand rose to his forehead as he allowed himself to be overtaken by all the thoughts that had been swirling through his brain for the last few weeks. Milah. School. His future. Emma. All those thoughts had been haunting him daily. When had he gone from a carefree college kid to the point where he questioned everything?

The street light nearby suddenly flickered back on, illuminating the white sweater again in the seat next to him. He fisted his hand and beat on the steering wheel in front of him. One hit had the horn honking in quiet evening air.

Making an illegal u-turn and an impulsive decision, Killian drove out of town. He needed to get rid of the damn thing before it haunted him anymore. Killian convinced himself if he could just be rid of the physical reminders, then the mental ones would slowly fade away as well.

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After a two hour drive, Killian found himself in Boston. He couldn't believe he let himself follow her, even if it was to return a shirt. Killian should have just stuffed the blasted thing into an envelope and mailed it to her.

Why did she have to start writing him anyway? It wasn't like the really were friends. Before they could have any deep discussion amongst themselves, she took off and ran to Boston. And the fact that she purposely included her address, as if he didn't see it on the envelope, taunted him. What did she expect? That one day he'd just show up on her doorstep with a smile on his face and a cheerful hello? Bloody hell!

It was two in the morning and here he was in his car sitting outside her apartment building wondering what self-destructive mechanism in his brain led him on such a mission. What kind of creep shows up at that time of night to return a shirt? He had no blasted business being here. No business even being in Boston. And to make matters worse, he had another of one of his appointments with Dr. Hopper the next afternoon.

Despite his inner torment, one thing was certain, he was exhausted. He started the car and drove around the unfamiliar streets in search of a hotel. After a few hours of sleep he'd begin to think logically again. Or at least he tried to convince himself of that fact.

Too bad it didn't work. He only slept five hours before kids running up and down the hallway of the hotel woke him. Clenching his tired and aching head in his hands, he sat up allowing the sheets to slip down his bared chest. The room had a distinct chill, but it barely bothered him as his body was overheated by the nightmare he had been having.

_ Milah was standing at the docks with him, her hand clenched tightly within his own as they waved cheerfully to Liam about to leave on a fishing trip. Just before the boat began to blend into the horizon, it slowly sank. Killian pulled out his spyglass, a family heirloom, in a hurried jerk from his knapsack. He could see Liam clasping Milah tightly trying to keep her above the water. Shocked, Killian turned to the woman who's hand he still held, only to discover it was Emma standing there. She was crying and he realized he was too when she swiped the wetness from his face with her free hand. Silently, she pulled him into her arms._

_ "It's okay, Killian," she told him as she rubbed his back in a soothing motion to ease his sobs. "It'll be okay. I'm here."_

Shoving out of bed, he padded to the bathroom in his briefs. He splashed cold water over his unshaven face. In the mirror he could see the purple smudges under his eyes. Determined to at least be presentable, he headed for the shower with a cheap razor he obtained from the front desk the night before and a small bar of soap.

His frustration mounted with each swipe of the razor. He basked in the warmth of the water as the chilly images of the dream filtered over him once more. He was quickly brought out of his thoughts by searing pain. The cheap razor cut deep into his skin, right below his right eye. Rivulets of blood streaked water made its way down his body. Killian applied pressure to the cut and turned off the water with a frustrated jerk.

Quickly, he wrapped a towel around his waist and pulled a clean washcloth from the counter. He soaked it in cold water before he cleaned the wound. It was large and it bled profusely in the warm air. _Bloody damn stupid move, Jones_.

He had to call the front desk for an emergency kit to clean and dress the wound. The concierge insisted, when he delivered the supplies, that Killian go to a local clinic to get it checked out and gave him the address and phone number. Dismissing the well-meaning man, Killian nodded and closed the door. He wanted nothing more than to take care of his face and head back to Maine.

However, once he finished bandaging his face, he was waylaid by his own thoughts as he retrieved Emma's latest letter from the nightstand. It lay atop the hotel's customary bible, but it was the crinkled piece of paper that stuck out from the envelope that caught his eye. He pulled the note Emma wrote him, the one he had once tried to throw away when he discovered the two of them gone, from its resting place and read the words for a hundredth time.

_ Killian, _

_ Sorry about leaving so suddenly. Neal got a job from his dad in Boston. That's where we are heading. I found the cross yesterday when I was in town. When I saw it, I wanted you to have it. It wasn't meant as a parting gift and I'm sorry that it ended up that way. As a friend, I wanted you to have it, as a thank you for letting us stay here. Neal's coming and I have to go. _

_ Emma_

_ P.S. I'll write when I can so you'll know where we are, in case you suddenly find yourself in need of a friend._

Her note finished with a smiley face. Smiling was the last thing on his mind every time he finished reading that blasted letter. Abandonment. Sadness. Anger. Those emotions were more in line with how he felt, even now.

As Dr. Hopper predicted, Killian had been running through a gambit of feelings since Emma and Neal left. Fear of being alone. Anger at Milah for leaving. Depression because she was gone. Furious over the fact that he hadn't been with her when it happened. Livid over the fact that Milah never told him she wanted a divorce.

A demented madness settled over him this past weekend. He spent Saturday lost in a bottle of rum while shredding the divorce papers into a roaring fire that wasn't needed on such a warm spring day. The night ended with him wandering through town aimlessly until he found himself at Milah's grave, where he raged at her before he broke down into a sobbing mess at the base of her newly placed headstone.

And while he battled all those demons, he still had to confront all the others that begged him to think about Emma. While he had been able to tamp those tormenting thoughts down over the past week with his finals, they won the battle with him the night before, else he wouldn't be in Boston right now.

He shoved the letter back into the envelope and gathered his things. First, he needed to check out then he could think about heading home. One the way down the elevator, he mentally noted to himself to call Dr. Hopper so that he could cancel the appointment he'd be unable to attend. What he needed to invest in was a cell phone. He had been avoiding the extra cost, but it seemed more people were coming to own the blasted machine.

Killian finally exited the hotel and cursed as a driving rain poured down from the sky. Already not familiar with the roads in Boston, Killian was not looking forward to navigating them in the hard rain.

He didn't mean to, but he found himself outside of the apartment complex that Emma lived in. Despite the heaviness of the rain, he exited his car that was parked on the corner of her road. Running into the building, Killian then walked to her apartment on the second floor. He stood there staring at the door handle debating whether to knock.

His hand reached out to do just that before he pulled it back. He could just picture Emma inside. She'd be lying backwards in the bed, as he had caught her doing before, her hands clasped over her belly, her hair splayed out over the mattress in its riot of soft curls, still tense as if she waited for something to startle her.

Killian didn't know how long he stayed there, waiting for the door to open on its own, when one of her neighbors came out, a smile child following behind her. The woman gave Killian a small smile, as she and her son walked past in order to go down the stairs.

Okay, now he had achieved creepy stalker status for sure. He wanted to punch the wall to relieved some tension, but that was unwise with his long drive back to Storybrooke. He already had a cut face, he did not need an injured hand.

Killian placed her shirt at the bottom of her door before he turned. It was time he headed home and put all thoughts of Emma behind him. He had bigger issues to deal with. Graduation. A job. His grief over Milah's passing.

The last thing Killian wanted was for Emma to be some woman he used to rebound from his marriage. She deserved more than that and so did he. With resolve, Killian left Boston. And when Emma's letters came, he shoved them into a drawer unopened but not unwanted.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Once again, big thanks to my beta, aimeeloren. And a huge hug to Just4FunVids925 who allowed me to write this story based on her video. Without either one of these lovely ladies this story wouldn't be happening. As for everyone who has been following and favoriting this story, I thank each and every one of you. Also, check out my other story True North, with weekly updates.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this story. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 8 - Look For The Girl With The Broken Smile And Ask Her If She Wants To Stay Awhile:**

Emma had been writing to Killian for months, but she never once heard back from him. While at times she thought about giving up, she almost found it therapeutic to write down her feelings and mail them into what she now called the great white open. She was still unsure if he received them.

"What's this?" Neal asked as he ripped the paper out of from under her pen.

Neal had been in a pissy mood all week and Emma had been doing her best to avoid him; however, it was Saturday morning, Neal was off, and she didn't have to be at work until three at the local diner. She glared over at him, wishing he hadn't caught her writing to Killian. She was usually more careful.

"I thought you had class today," she accused.

"Didn't feel like going."

"Well, if I had someone paying for me to go to college, I sure as hell wouldn't be blowing off class." Emma rose from the kitchen chair and snatched back her paper. She heard it tear and her eyes almost teared up. "And you have no right to read this."

"You got something going on with my step-father?" Neal crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at her. The small piece of paper he still possessed crumpled into his hand.

Emma fought a blush. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Okay, so she had kissed him, but it had been a mistake. They both knew that. Her letters to him, however, were just her attempt to be a friend. There was nothing wrong with that. She never really had one before, at least a long-lasting one, and she really thought that Killian might be such a friend. Though he was another man, so maybe she should feel some guilt, but Neal had friends who were women, so why couldn't Killian be hers? There was nothing shameful at all in that, she reassured herself. "Of course, I don't. I write to him so he knows what we're doing. You're the only family member he has left."

"Sucks for him."

Emma was suddenly incensed. She stormed over to Neal, her nostrils flaring. "Really? That's your response?"

Frustrated as all get out, Emma took her pen and her torn paper and stormed out of the kitchen. Grabbing her sweater, she walked out the door. She had no idea where she was going but if she had stayed in the apartment with Neal much longer her temper was going to explode.

When she found herself outside the diner, Emma cringed. The last place she wanted to be was work, especially when she didn't have to be there. Looking inside, she noticed Ruby waiting tables. Finally, someone she could talk to!

The brunette usually worked morning shifts, much to Ruby's consternation. While it allowed her to head out early to go out on the weekends, it also meant she couldn't stay out late either, and that was the part Ruby hated the most. Emma loved Ruby's smart mouth, her complete disregard for rules, and her ability to tell the world to go to hell. It was Ruby, who for the last month, had told Emma to stop putting up with Neal's shit.

Ruby assured Emma that she deserved better than Neal. Emma on the other had didn't know what would happen to her if she left Neal, as she would once again be homeless. It was not the kind of life that Emma looked forward to now that she experienced what it was like to be settled.

Emma pushed the door open and went inside, sitting at the back table that was usually reserved for the waitresses to have a second to sit and relax. Ruby quickly spotted Emma and waved. The cook popped his head out and asked if Emma wanted anything for lunch. After requesting a grilled cheese sandwich, Emma got up and went to pour herself an iced tea.

A few minutes later, as she was sipping her drink, Ruby plunked down Emma's grilled cheese and sat across from her. "What's up?'

"Neal."

"Say no more." Ruby held up her hand and snapped her gum. "I'm having a hard enough day without hearing about… Never mind, not going to say it."

"Yeah, well I already filled in the blanks," Emma told her around a bite of sandwich.

Ruby smiled, her red lips separated into a Cheshire Cat grin, her head tilted in interest. "Oh! Maybe I do want to hear it."

"Not in the mood right now, Ruby." Emma continued to munch. "Do you have an extra uniform in your locker? I really don't feel like going home right now."

"Sure thing. I'm heading out shortly anyway. Billy and I have a hot date tonight." Ruby waggled her dark eyebrows.

Emma glanced up. She didn't realize that Ruby was finally giving him the time of day after months of him asking Ruby out. "The tow truck driver?" 

Ruby nodded. "He's been coming in everyday for the past two weeks. He has some work party tonight and needs a date. I decided since it was a big event I'd give him a break and say yes."

"And I'm only hearing about this now?" Emma was surprised. Usually, Ruby was the first to let her know if a guy was showing extra interest. Mainly because Ruby made fun of the pathetic saps. The fact that Ruby hadn't with Billy made Emma think that Ruby might actually be interested in him as well.

"Speaking about guys constantly stopping in, I heard from a certain person," Ruby nodded toward the kitchen, "that you've been having a regular customer lately yourself." Ruby looked at Emma expectantly, her arms crossed over the table between them, leaning in as if ready to hear of all of Emma's secrets.

"His name is Graham and he's a cop."

"And?"

"And that's it. He's a cop. There is no way in hell I will ever date a cop. I told you what I used to do. Plus, I'm with Neal, despite whatever happened earlier." Emma popped the last bite of her sandwich in her mouth and chewed.

"But he's interested?"

Emma rolled her eyes and washed down her grilled cheese. Ruby just couldn't accept that Emma was the one not interested. Emma was dealing with Neal's shit so much lately the last thing she wanted was to add more testosterone to the mix.

"Speaking of." Emma nodded to the front door where Graham Humbert scanned the diner in search of an empty table.

Ruby turned to see, letting out a quiet wolf's whistle upon her inspection of him. "He's hot."

"And all yours," Emma told her with a careless shrug as Graham caught her eye. He smiled and waved. "I'm not on the clock until three."

"There's nothing in the rules that says you can't serve him and not be on the clock," Ruby said as she turned back to Emma, smiling and winking.

"How come, when you say things like that I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that you are not talking about food?" Emma chuckled, hiding her honesty behind the lightness of her words.

"Honey," Ruby replied, her eyes firmly trained on the cop sitting by himself in a nearby booth, "he's the kind of guy who would serve as much as he was given. And if you don't want him, I'll be sure to take his order."

"And his measurements. And his phone number and whatever else he might offer up. Just remember you promised to meet Billy tonight."

Ruby turned back to Emma with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Doesn't mean the other six nights of the week are taken, but ask me later to see if that changes."

Emma watched Ruby push out of the booth and saunter over to Graham in her tied up white dress shirt and dangerously short red shorts. Her easy movements in the high heels made Emma envious. In just five minutes Emma would have been sick of them.

Several times, Emma and Graham's eyes met. Sometimes his showed his confusion over the fact that she wasn't waiting on him, other times it was just to smile, but it was the last look he gave her before she went in the back to change that had her head swimming the rest of the night. It was a look of intense interest with the promise of passion.

Ever since Emma hit puberty, she had felt nothing if not awkward and gawky, with her too long body and her freckles. As much as she may have wished differently, guys didn't notice her. It felt so strange that now while she was involved with Neal, two other men had shown that they found her anything buy the ugly duckling she always thought herself to be.

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On Monday, Emma knew it would be slow at the diner; it always was. It was the night Emma and Ruby would spend the most time in their corner booth and dish over the events of the weekend.

Ruby was so excited to tell Emma about her date with Billy. Though she did let out a huge dramatic sign when she admitted he was a perfect gentleman and only had kissed her on the cheek when he walked her home Saturday night, which made Emma laugh at her friend's plight.

Emma found herself smiling for the first time that day. Her friend definitely liked Billy if she was so upset he left without asking for anything more than another date. It was refreshing to see Ruby on uneven footing with a guy.

When Graham had walked in, Emma, as usual, waited on him. It never failed, he always ordered a cup of coffee, a bowl of soup and a doughnut. And while that should seem so cliché, Emma found it slightly endearing. No sooner had she brought him his order then he asked if she wouldn't mind staying to talk. Emma glanced around. The diner was pretty empty. Usually, unless it was late at night or the diner was slow, the waitresses weren't allowed to sit with the customers. Considering, the lack of people, his request didn't seem like much of a problem.

At first, she thought it was a ploy for him to flirt and thus Emma almost said no. Then she looked into his hollowed eyes and noticed his hunched over shoulders. He looked like he had a rough day. So, she found herself agreeing. She sat down across from him and tucked a leg under her in effort to get comfortable. Emma watched him fiddle with his spoon and take a sip of his coffee, while she waited for him to speak.

"Thanks," was all he said for several minutes.

Emma sat there, using the time to study him in the silence that loomed over them. He appeared to be around Neal's age, but he was taller and thinner. His body had much more muscle definition. In all actuality he reminded her more of Killian than Neal. His face looked as if it hadn't seen a razor in a few days, but unlike when Neal didn't shave, Graham's still seemed neat and well-kempt. His hair was brown and wavy, a curl hang over his forehead begging for someone to smooth it back. If it had been Killian sitting in front of her, she would have already leaned forward and fixed the errant lock. Occasionally, she would see Graham drink from his coffee cup.

"I appreciate you staying," Graham finally said, his eyes still not rising from his perusal of his food.

"No problem. I guess you've had quite a day," Emma said as she fiddled with her check pad.

"You could say that. Had to deal with a three car accident this morning. Only casualties were a three year old boy and his infant sister, both of which weren't strapped into seat belts," he replied sadly, his head now hung over his empty coffee cup.

Emma stood and he looked up at her. "Let me refill that for you."

He gave her a cheerless smile and Emma rushed over to check on her one table that had already received their check before she retrieved the coffee pot. She smiled at an elderly couple who waved at her. They came in every Monday afternoon, but except for the couple times that Ruby couldn't take them, she hardly ever waited on them. That didn't stop them from always handing her a five dollar bill before they left, so she was always nice to them. Emma quickly filled up Graham's mug and replaced the coffee pot before returning to her seat across from him.

He looked miserable and Emma reached across the table and unwrapped one of his hands form the coffee mug so she could squeeze it reassuringly. His fingers laced with hers and while it felt nice, it made her feel guilty. Not over the fact that she was holding his hand instead of Neal's, though she knew she should feel that way, despite all the crap Neal had been handing to her lately. No, she felt horrible because she never had the chance to hold Killian's when he needed someone the most.

Slipping her fingers from his, she pulled it back and crossed her hands in her lap under the table. When she did, Graham gave a silent nod as if he understood. And if he did, she wished he'd explain it to her, because it seemed as each month passed life only became more complicated. _Why did she always look forward to becoming an adult_?

Seeing Ruby wave her over, Emma let Graham know she had to go. He looked up at her and his grin held a little more of his cheerful air. "Thank you for being here. I needed a friend."

Emma smiled at him brokenly. Her emotions were in turmoil, but she was happy that she could do something to help. It was more than she was able to accomplish for Killian.

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That night after Emma returned early from the slow night at work, she found a note from Neal letting her know that he had to run up to Maine to meet his dad. Emma was beginning to get sick of Neal and his last minute plans. He could've called the diner as easily as writing the note and told her his plans personally.

Throwing his note away, Emma went to take a quick shower. When she was done she pulled out Killian's blue dress shirt that she had hidden in the back of her closet. She put on a pair of satin underwear that Neal had recently given her, after she had accidentally discovered them tucked away in his knapsack. She never had a chance to wear them and the feel of the expensive fabric sliding across her warm skin sent soft sensations running through her. She put Killian's shirt on overtop, forgoing her bra, and rubbed her cheek along the collar. The hardwood floors held a slight chill so she found a pair of socks and put them on as well.

Padding silently into the small kitchen, Emma shoved a bag of popcorn into the microwave. The buttery aroma soon had Emma's stomach growling. When it was done, she dumped it into a large mixing bowl and carried it to the couch they purchased a couple months before from Goodwill. Emma flopped down onto the flowered cream couch and picked up the remote. It took several minutes of searching but she found a movie to watch, The Green Mile. Already her eyes teared up as she turned it on right as John Coffey saved the mouse's life.

When the movie was over, the popcorn gone and bunch of tissues were balled up on the coffee table where she had thrown them, she pulled over a blanket and pillow. She was all ready to snuggle down in her spot and sleep, but then she thought that she wanted to tell Killian about her day.

Rising, she grabbed her notebook and a pen from the drawer she kept them in inside the kitchen. Settling back onto her cooled spot on the couch, Emma began to write. She told him all about Ruby's date. Then she told him about Neal discovering her white sweater in the Bug after months of searching. Emma wrote about Neal heading to Maine to see his father, so she sat there alone and watched a movie and ate popcorn. What she didn't write about was being so lonely, not just when Neal was gone, but every day. She also didn't write about Graham and his persistence, nor about how much Emma missed Killian and that she wished he would call or write back.

At the end, despite her heartache, she wrote that this would be her last letter. Emma thanked him for listening to her and signed her name. She set the letter, notepad and pen on the coffee table in front of her, while she grabbed a handful of tissues. She'd need each and every one of them before she fell asleep because, unless Killian showed he cared in some way, she doubted that she may ever hear from him again.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **I am still amazed by how many people keep following this story. I know a lot of you fell in love with the video as much as I did and that is where you have found this story and I thank you for all coming along for the ride. Once again, thank you to my lovely beta, aimeeloren, and to Steph with Just4FunVids925 for her video. I took liberties with the lyrics for the title in this chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters as they belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 9 - (S)he Will Be Loved, (S)he Will Be Loved:**

Emma didn't know why she chose that day over any other to leave, other than the fact that Neal decided to pull another disappearing act. It was another Monday about two months after she comforted Graham and Neal was gone again with nothing more than a short note attached to the fridge with a magnet welcoming you to Storybrooke, Maine.

Snatching the pitiful note from its resting place, she crumpled it and threw it across the room before she began to angrily pace the small apartment. Finally, after several minutes, she picked up the phone and dialed Ruby at the diner. Emma told her friend briefly what happened and asked to stay at her place. When Ruby agreed, Emma was grateful. Before they hung up, Ruby asked if Emma needed any help.

"I'm fine, Ruby. I'll see you shortly," Emma told her before replacing the phone on the hook. In truth, Emma was anything but fine. She was pissed. She was disappointed. And, most of all, she was scared. Emma hadn't been out on her own in over a year. And while she was well aware that she could adapt, Emma was livid over the fact that she had to try.

Luckily, Emma had been setting some of her tip money to the side. She had been stashing it under the insole of her work shoes before she came home. The money may not have had the most pleasant odor, but it was safe from Neal, unlike a lot of the other money Emma had brought back.

After packing a couple of bags with her still meager belongings, Emma stepped out of the apartment without looking back. Neal had once told her that when you found home, when you left you just missed it. As Emma locked the apartment, for all the security it gave her, it wasn't home. And she was too angry right now to analyze her feelings for Neal.

Heading off on foot, as Neal had once again taken the Bug, Emma headed towards Ruby's place, refusing to spend any of her meager savings on a cab. Half-way there, a police car began to follow her. Emma felt herself tense. Cops still made her jumpy, despite all the times Graham tried to make her feel comfortable.

After three blocks of being trailed, Emma's temper was about to explode. First Neal and now this cop, when she hadn't been doing a thing but walking down the street. She stopped, hands on her hips, and stared at the offending vehicle as it pulled up to her. The side window rolled down and Emma had to bend slightly to look in.

"Running away?" an amused Graham asked.

Emma felt the tension drain from her body and she gave him a relieved smile. "How did you guess?"

"Ruby told me. I have the late shift tonight and I was in the diner when you called. She asked if I could pick you up and bring you over to her place." Emma watched as he began to straighten things in his car, making room for her to slide into the front seat. It would be a tight fit, but it was better than sitting in the rear. "Put your bags in the back. That will give you more room."

Emma opened the back door and threw her bags into the backseat. Still relieved it was them and not her sitting there. She had spent too many times gracing the back bench of a police cruiser during her childhood after running away from various foster homes.

She slammed the door and went to sit up front. There was quite a bit of stuff between the two of them, but Emma still felt as if she was on top of the handsome cop due to the restricted confines of what was left of the front seat.

"Wanna talk about it?" Graham asked pulling the vehicle back onto the road.

Emma shook her head. "Not really."

"That's fine."

She was grateful for the lack of pressure. Emma was quite sure Ruby would have enough questions for her when she arrived. And it didn't take long now that Graham was driving for them to get there.

"Here we are," Graham announced, pulling into an empty spot for visitors outside of Ruby's apartment complex.

"You knew how to get here." It just dawned on Emma that not even once did he ask for directions. _Had he been to Ruby's before_?

"Ruby told me to how to get here. I'm pretty good at following directions," he said with a chuckle, waving his hands down his uniform.

Emma smiled. When Graham laughed in that deep chuckle of his, she couldn't help it. He sounded so sexy when it escaped his lips. Then her eyes caught on the uniform he had indicated earlier and reminded herself why he was definitely not her type.

"Thanks for the lift," Emma told him as she got out of the cruiser and pulled open the back door to retrieve her things.

"No problem, Emma. Maybe," he paused as he also exited the car, leaning on the roof, staring at her intently. "Maybe, you can have coffee with me this week and we'll call it even."

"I don't know." Emma hesitated. The last thing she wanted to do was get involved with another guy when she just left one.

"Next week then?" She saw him raise an eyebrow in question.

"Okay. Fine. Next week," Emma agreed. "Just coffee."

"Great." He slapped the roof of the car and began to get back inside.

"Graham…"

Emma almost laughed as the popped back out in an imitation of a jack-in-the-box at the end of a song. "Yes?"

"I really appreciate you doing this." She smiled again, extremely grateful for his help.

"Your smile is thank you enough. For now," he said with a wink. He went back into his cruiser, but before she could take a step, the window on the passenger side slid down and he leaned over. "Coffee, next week. And I'll see you Wednesday at the diner."

"Bye, Graham." Emma waved at him and turned to head up to Ruby's.

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Killian didn't know why he couldn't sleep. He tried everything, taking a walk, a warm shower, a cup of decaffeinated tea, even pushing himself through some grueling exercises. His eyes would close, but his brain wouldn't let him rest.

The last two nights he had been plagued with nightmares of Milah's death, so he should be exhausted. Instead his brain made him dream. He dreamt of seeing her laying in her coffin. His mind conjured up the gruesome images of the car wreck that he had only seen in pictures. He could hear the echoes that existed daily in the emptiness of the house calling out to him.

Nothing seemed to calm the raging beast of guilt inside of him. It burned his brain. For months since Milah passed, Killian had experienced every emotion possible, but the one that stayed, flayed him daily. The scars of its deep cuts may not have shown on his skin, but Killian felt their presence down to his soul. Guilt over the fact that despite his wife's death, or the release because of it, that he could now admit to himself the feelings Emma had drawn out of him were far stronger than the ones he ever felt for his wife, or any other woman.

Sitting up, Killian reached to open his nightstand drawer. He slipped out the small shoe box full of unopened letters and set them on his lap. Just the feel of the box eased some of the pounding in his head. His right hand smoothed over the top of the box before he lifted the lid. Emma's clear script with his address and her own filled the box. There was a total of twenty-eight letters. The last had arrived well over two months ago. For weeks after it arrived, Killian had avidly checked his mail, but no others came. Emma had given up on him, like so many before her.

His fingers ran through the stiffness of the stored envelopes until it settled on one. Lifting if from its resting place, he set the box to the side so he could open the letter. The words were full of hope and friendship. It contained funny anecdotes of her first week as a waitress. An earnest laugh slipped from his lips as he read about her delivering an order to the wrong table, all the while the older couple felt bad for her and accepted it without question, secretly exchanging it with the table behind them who it was meant for. Both tables still left her decent tips and the older couple left her a note that things get better with practice. He cold feel her embarrassment while still taking it as a joke on herself which is how she intended it. When he finished the letter he wished he could hug her. Then he thought how great it would have been if he had actually heard the words from her instead of just reading them.

While Killian enjoyed reading her letters, he questioned some of the things she mentioned. He tried not to dwell too hard on them, like Neal finding her sweater in their car, when Killian knew damn well it he left it at her door. Neal seemed nice enough, but when it came to Emma, Killian questioned Neal's motives. He was the one who had left Emma in the car all those months ago, and had Killian not taken her inside she would have remained. Tossing that one letter to the side with added force, he watched as it settled on the side of the bed before it trickled down to the floor. Killian would much rather hear about Emma's antics at work then deal with Neal's subterfuge.

It was five in the morning when he finished the last letter. All the tension he had felt for the past week seemed to have slipped away. It was with a light heart and a bed full of letters, Killian eyes drifted closed and peaceful slumber settled over him.

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Ruby plopped down in the booth across from Emma, who had been enjoying a large Caesar salad during her lunch break. "What's going on, Ruby? You're not on the clock for another hour."

"If Neal shows up at my place one more freaking time, I'll going to saw his nuts off." Ruby punctuated her statement with a glare in Emma's direction.

"What did he do now?"

"Isn't living enough?" Ruby picked up the second fork that came rolled up in the napkin Emma had opened and began to help herself to Emma's salad.

"Ruby, be nice. He's been trying to apologize." Emma had been staying with Ruby for almost a month before Neal decided to make an appearance. Since then he had been showing up twice a week begging Emma to come back.

"Don't care." Ruby walked over to the kitchen window and ordered some fries, before she returned. "He had the nerve to show up today with a teddy bear the size of Rhode Island. Like a huge stuffed animal says I'm sorry. No, what it says is here's my replacement, snuggle with this while I still lie and manipulate you into submission."

Emma watched her friend's animation in wonderment. Ruby never once put in a good word for Emma to go back to Neal. If anything, she encouraged Emma's growing friendship with Graham. And he never seemed to care that she was coming from a bad relationship. Graham explained his own past contained a toxic ex, so when Emma was ready he'd be there.

Between the two of them, Emma had been convinced to keep Neal where he was, in the past, but then he came back. While Emma wasn't completely convinced she could trust him, she also knew how good they could be together. There was as much uncertainty in their relationship as there was jumping into something completely new.

"Neal wants to meet me for lunch tomorrow," Emma told her friend, who was now happily munching on fries that were too hot for Emma's taste.

"Seriously?" Ruby's fries paused inches from her mouth and dropped back to the table. "You're supposed to relax on your day off, not have to deal with a person who can be a worse asshole than some of the sorority girls we get in here."

Emma grabbed one of the dropped fries and slathered it in ketchup. The coldness of the creamy tomato goodness counteracted the hot oil still on the potato. She allowed herself a deep moan of appreciation. "Nothing like comfort food during a Neal discussion."

"In that case, maybe I should order more," Ruby teased her as Emma scooped up two more fries.

The bell over the diner's door chimed and Graham walked in with a smile and a wave. Emma waved back at him. "Saved by the bell."

Emma jumped up, brushing her hands across her hip apron. Self-consciously, she tucked a few loose strands of her hair behind her ears and walked over to Graham. "The usual?"

"I hope not since it's Wednesday," he teased.

Emma gave him a confused look. Then it dawned on her that every Wednesday since he dropped her off at Ruby's he asked her out. So far, every Wednesday she turned him down.

Graham looked up at her expectantly, his eyes full of hope that this would be the day her answer would change. Emma really wished her mind wasn't so clouded with doubt. That she could just go out with a nice guy and not think twice about it. About to say the heck with it all and finally agree to have dinner with Graham, the diner's bell rang once more.

Neal not only walked in the door, he sauntered up to Emma and placed a kiss on her cheek as if nothing transpired between them. He winked and sat down at a booth not far from Graham's.

Emma's eyes strayed between the two men. One cocky and confident, the other dejected. Graham was no longer meeting her gaze. Emma tapped her order book on Graham's table to gain his attention. There was so much she wanted to tell him, but all that came out was, "I'll get your order."

He nodded sadly at her and pulled out a notebook from his back pocket, suddenly finding whatever he jotted in there the most fascinating of reads. Emma felt horrible. She walked over and called his order into the back, while she poured his coffee. It was then that Emma caught the glare Ruby was sending her way.

Emma shrugged. What could she do? Neal had every right to be at the diner. Dropping Graham's coffee off, Emma approached Neal slowly. "Hi, Neal. What can I get for you?"

His deep chocolate eyes lifted from the menu in front of him. Emma used to feel like she could fall into those brown endless depths, but for some reason they now appeared too sure. Too sure of her reaction to him. Too sure that she would agree to whatever plan he came here to tell her. He smiled at her, examining her appearance. "You look good, Emma."

"Thank you." She didn't know what else to say, as it was, she could feel Graham and Ruby's eyes glued onto their every movement.

"You have a few minutes to talk?" he asked her.

"I'm working." Emma waved her arms, indicating the diner around them.

"How about after work?"

"I thought we were having lunch tomorrow? Why the sudden rush?"

He closed his menu and set it back into its holder. "No rush. I miss you. I miss us."

Emma's knees almost gave out at the sincerity she heard in this words and she had to grab the opposing bench's back to remain upright. "I've missed you, too."

"Please come back home, Emma. I've already talked to my father. No more surprise trips. I still have to go up there at least once a month, but I told him we have to plan in advance." His hand reached out and grasped her hand, pulling her closer.

Neal turned in the bench seat so he was facing her. His legs opened slightly and he pulled Emma between them. Neal's arms looped casually around her waist and he rested his head on her belly. "Please, Emma. Please come back."

Emma's free hand came up and tangled into Neal's hair. She missed this. She missed him. Emma kissed the top of his head. "I'll come home."

He looked up at her and smiled. "I love you, Emma."

"Love you, too."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **I am still amazed by the response this story is getting. I thank each and every one of you. But, a special thank you goes out once again to my beta, aimeeloren, and Steph with Just4FunVids925. If you haven't checked out the video, I encourage you to do so, it is wonderful. And be sure to check out her other videos as well. I personally recommend The Whiskey, The Liar, The Thief, as it is a wonderful pick me up.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. They belong to the franchise of OUAT.

**Chapter 10 - Tap On My Window, Knock On My Door:**

**3 Years Later -**

She was back in Storybrooke. Emma walked around the town square looking around in wonderment. She and Neal had moved back the day before, after a month of Mr. Gold's insistence that Neal had to move closer to move up in whatever adventure they were embarking on now. Neal promised to explain later, and while Emma wasn't holding her breath, she hoped he would. Right now, Emma was too preoccupied over the knowledge that she was now signed up full time for classes at Storybrooke College.

The last year she had been taking classes part-time at one of the local community colleges in Boston, and she was finally able to take her college career seriously now that Neal's pay was improving. So, between the two of them, they had taken out a few small student loans, with the intention that Emma could get a college education and Neal could finish the last few classes he needed for his degree.

Besides the apartment that they had in Boston, they only thing Emma missed was Ruby. She had promised Emma to come visit, but only if she straightened up and dropped Neal for good. Emma and Neal had broken up twice more over the last three years since she moved back in with him and each time she told herself she wouldn't go back, but she had. It was only a few months ago that Emma agreed to move back in, after their last breakup of six months. Six months of Ruby's constant chatter that Emma should be glad because Neal was finally gone.

In that time she had sublet a flat from a kind older woman in Ruby's complex. Emma had gone out with Graham, and they both realized they were better suited to being friends. And Emma had started to see other guys after that. Yet, once again, Neal came back and Emma convinced herself it was for real. Now she was back in Storybrooke and had something else to worry about. Her reaction to seeing Killian.

His back was to her, but she knew it was him when she entered the bed and breakfast she and Neal were staying at until their new apartment was finished being painted. It struck Emma as odd that he would be in there when last she knew he had a house in town. He had filled out some, not quite as skinny as he had been almost four years when she last saw him. The black crew neck sweater showed off a bit of the white t-shirt he wore underneath. His legs were encased in dark denim and he wore black leather loafers. Killian's laughter floated over her and chills ran down her spine. It was then that she noticed the petite blonde he was talking to walk away, down the hall that led back to the diner.

Emma needed to hide, to get out of there before he saw her, now that his conversation was finished. Huddled into her leather jacket, Emma turned to head back outside into the cool summer air. She almost made it when she heard him.

"Emma?"

Stopping dead in her tracks, she closed her eyes. He said her name again, and she turned to look back over her shoulder at him. Emma said the first thing that came to her mind, "What?"

Her knees trembled as he walked toward her. His face was stoic, giving away nothing. Emma wished he'd smile or say something, but he didn't. He also didn't stop until he was directly in front of her.

"You're back."

Emma nodded. Her eyes drifted down to his lips. His bottom lip seemed to hypnotize her. Shaking herself, she tried to focus. This was the man she had written to for months and who had never responded back. The last thing she needed to be thinking about was Killian's lips.

"For how long?"

Not understanding his question, her eyes raised to his. "How long what?"

"How long are you staying here?" His voice was clipped. She wasn't sure if he was mad or not, but he sounded annoyed.

"Neal and I are moving… Have moved here. We're staying here until the apartment is ready. We were supposed to move in today, but things were pushed back at the last moment," she explained.

Slowly, a grin spread over his features. His hand slipped up to cup her cheek and for a brief second she leaned into it. Emma watched as it happened, it seemed surreal, as he dipped his head and kissed her cheek. "Welcome to Storybrooke, Emma."

With another small smile, he turned and left. Emma raised her hands and cupped her cheeks. She couldn't tell if she was blushing or flushed as both could have worked for the emotions pouring over her.

It was there, still in the lobby, that Neal found her. "What's going on?"

Pulling her hands down, she shoved them into her back pockets. "Nothing. Was just shocked to run into your step-father."

"Bound to happen," Neal said with a shrug. "Most people hang out around Granny's, though mostly in the diner."

"Except for the brief visit for your mother's funeral, I haven't been around here long enough to know that," she said with an annoyed tone.

"Well, now you do." He tugged at her arm. "Let's go. Dad wants us to come over for dinner since our place isn't ready."

"I'm not in the mood, Neal. Go ahead. I'll grab a sandwich from the diner."

Neal didn't seem to mind, and agreed. "I'll see you later, then."

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Emma was back. Over an hour later, Killian was still trying to wrap his mind around that fact. He and Rose, otherwise know as Tink, were sharing dinner at Tony's, yet his mind wasn't focused on the woman in front of him. It still was completely centered on the blonde he encountered earlier.

"You know, Killian, this one-sided conversation I've been having with myself isn't very entertaining."

Killian looked over at his dinner partner. She was the epitome of her nickname, short, blonde and had a waif-like figure. Any man in town would have been thrilled to have been out with her, especially in the skin tight green gown she was wearing presently that allowed him a very generous view of her cleavage. And while he had never pretended to be more than business associates with benefits, he knew she harbored some feelings for him.

"Sorry, love." Killian reached across the table and took her hand. "No more distracting thoughts."

"It's the blonde chick, isn't it?" Tink propped her chin on her free hand and searched his face. "I saw the way you lit up the moment you spotted her across Granny's. You didn't fool me for a second."

Releasing her hand, he nodded. "Emma. Emma Swan."

"Oh, I like how you didn't even deny it." Tink laughed.

"Cute, Tink." He glared across the table at her as he lifted the napkin off his lap and set it on the table next to his plate.

She shrugged. "I've suspected for quite some time that your interest lay somewhere else. Despite your protests otherwise, I knew those feelings were much too fresh for them to be applied to your deceased wife."

Killian pushed back from the table and stood. "I really don't wish to discuss it."

"Go ahead." Tink nodded. "Go hide in the bathroom until you believe I've made my escape," she told him waving toward the back of the restaurant where the bathrooms were placed.

"No running on your part then?" He asked with a grin.

"Nope. And I'll do you one better and pay for dinner, but you will come back and tell me about her."

"First off, that's bad form if I allowed you to pay," he said, pulling out his wallet and handed her his credit card. "Secondly, who said there's a story to tell?"

Tink gave him a knowing look. "With a woman like that, there's always a story."

Killian laughed and tapped a light kiss to Tink's cheek. "You know me too well, love."

"One of us better." She winked at him and he turned to head to the restrooms.

While he was in there he grabbed hold of the sink, staring at his reflection. He wasn't the same naïve kid he was four years ago. The man staring at Killian in the mirror was scarred and resolute. Life had been difficult enough without Emma's presence in his life. Now, it was bound to get a lot more confusing.

Twice he had been close to the trail of his brother's killer and somehow the clues would dry up and end. They always seemed to come to a screeching halt when Neal would pop up in town. Killian was sure it had to be an amazing coincidence, as things didn't happen every time his step-son appeared.

And now he was here. Neal had made a permanent move to Storybrooke, and not alone. No, things in Killian's life couldn't be that simple. Neal brought Emma. The one woman he couldn't erase from his memory. She was a ghost, slipping into his mind to give him comfort at his lowest point. He still dreamed about the feel of her lips pressed to his own.

To make matters worse, she had grown up. Emma had been beautiful as an eighteen year old. As the woman she had become she was downright devastating. Her long blonde hair had curled up at the ends, teasing his eyes as the strands drew his eyes downward to her luscious curves that now made his libido stand up and take notice. He had to bite the inside of his cheek as he walked toward her earlier so he wouldn't take her in his arms and crush her against him in a possessive kiss that the both of them wouldn't soon forget.

He felt his body once again stir at the thought. Killian splashed his face with cold water. Grabbing some towels, he patted it dry and recited the periodic table. When his body calmed, he exited the men's room and approached Tink. "You ready to go?"

Her eyes did a slow perusal of his body. In any other circumstance, Killian would have taken her up on the invitation her eyes were extending, but not tonight.

"Yes," she replied, rising from the chair he helped pull out. "Though I think the original plan I had of extending you an invitation for a nightcap has gone terribly awry."

"Not tonight, Tink," he agreed.

"Well, then, I think I'll say goodnight then." She reached up on her toes and pressed a light kiss to his lips. "I'll catch a cab home, if you don't mind."

"Goodnight, Tink," he told her before he left. "I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"She's staying in room two. Just in case you wanted to know," Tink called out over her shoulder.

Killian turned back and smiled. "I won't ask how you ascertained that information. I'm sure I don't want to know."

"You're not the only one who can pirate information from people with their good looks." She made a slight Betty Boop type move with a wink and pulled out her phone from her purse, before turning back toward the bar.

Killian laughed and headed out of the restaurant. It was the first time all day that he didn't feel like the weight of the world pressed down on him.

CSCSCSCSCS

Emma stood in front of Killian's house and wondered why she was there. She had already knocked on his door twice, and rang his bell, but he didn't appear to be at home. All the lights on the ground floor were off and only one was illuminated upstairs. If she remembered correctly, the room was Killian's.

She rounded the house to look up at the window. Emma didn't see any movement. Looking down, she found a few small stones at her feet and picked them up. She tossed one toward the window, but it came woefully short of its target. The second, however, pinged gently on the surface of the glass. Emma waited a minute before she lifted the last pebble. It connected with the window, but it barely made a sound.

"Wouldn't it be easier to ring the doorbell, love?"

Emma whirled around, a hand clenched to her chest. "You scared me."

"Sorry. I was a little startled myself to find someone throwing stones at my house." Killian stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, a smile tugging at his lips. He leaned back against the side of the house and watched her. "You want to tell me the purpose of your call?"

Emma ducked her head at his amused tone. Now that Killian was there her reasons seemed silly. She suddenly felt like the awkward eighteen year old she was the last time he saw her. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she looked up. "Honestly?"

Despite the shadows that covered part of his face, she saw him nod, so she continued, "I wanted to apologize for being so rude earlier. I was just…"

"Just what, love?" The one eyebrow Emma could make out shot up. She had the distinct feeling he was laughing at her.

If she didn't get it out she was never going to say it. _Okay, Emma, you can do this_. Straightening her backbone, she blurted, "I wrote you letters. You never responded and I wanted to know if you received any of them."

Emma waited for his answer. His face became shuttered. She was about to say the hell with it and leave when he pushed off the wall using his booted foot. His gait was slow and deliberate as he approached her. Emma had a feeling she now knew what it was like to be prey, as his eyes narrowed on her. This was not the same man she remembered. The Killian she met before was a boy lost in grief. This Killian was a man who had a mission.

He finally stopped when they were toe to toe. If she wanted to see his face she would have had to tilt her head. But the view at eye level begged her eyes to remain. The navy button down shirt he wore revealed quite a bit of his chest with the several buttons he had left undone. A shimmer of silver gleamed at her from the reflection of the streetlights. Its glint caught her eye as it winked at her from his chest hair. Her cross. He was wearing the cross she bought him.

Without thought, her hand came up and captured the silver chain. It was warm in her palm from his body heat. "You wear it?"

Her eyes met his and he nodded. "Aye."

"I'm still with Neal," she blurted out, not sure who she was trying to remind, yet wished she could somehow rope the words back in and have them erased from the air around them.

"I know."

Emma searched his face. "You did read the letters, didn't you?"

His head tilted slightly as he held her gaze. "I did."

She let go of the necklace and stepped back only to have him follow her. "You didn't write back or call or anything."

"I believe your earlier statement explains why," he whispered in her ear.

Pulling back again so she could see his azure eyes, she asked, "Because I'm with Neal?"

"Exactly."

"I wasn't always," she told him honestly.

"You didn't say as much in your letters. Quite to the contrary, they led me to believe that the two of you were practically inseparable." His hand came up and grasped one of her curls. He wrapped it gently around his finger, before brushing it back behind her shoulder.

"It was after the letters."

"Yet, you're with him still."

"Yes." Even to her own ears, her voice sounded breathy. Killian barely touched her and her whole body was already responding. His voice slid over her body like a lover slowly discarding a silken tie.

His knuckles gently caressed her cheek. "That's too bad."

"Yes." Emma felt like she was in some hypnotic spell as she saw his head dip down. Killian's lips barely grazed hers before he pulled back.

"Goodnight, Emma."

She watched as he turned and began to walk back to the front of his house. Her thighs were clenched together as she closed her eyes and slowly licked her lips to remember the gentleness of his kiss. Shaking herself, she glanced up to his bedroom window. Emma was about to walk away, but then she saw him standing before it. He seemed to be looking straight at her as he slowly unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and pulled it from his black dress slacks. If she didn't know any better, she'd swear he winked at her before he drew the blinds.

Emma walked the step it took to reach the side of his house and slid down its hard surface. After seeing Killian undress before her she was going to have to get her legs to solidify before she walked back to Granny's and Neal.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Sorry, there is not one chapter that I can't go without thanking the two beautiful women who have helped me put this story together, my beta, aimeeloren, and the woman who created that video that put me on the path to writing it, steph-the-fangirl-925. Please check out her latest video, ANIMALS (CS AU) by Just4FunVids925. I also want to thank you my readers for making this one of the most successful stories I have had on the fan fiction site. Thank you one and all.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters to this story. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 11 - I Want To Make You Feel Beautiful:**

It wasn't even two weeks after Emma and Neal moved into their new apartment when Neal pulled another disappearing act. No letter. No message on her phone. No anything. Just clothes strewn across the bed, as he usually did when he packed a bag to leave. Well, unless Emma counted the chance encounter she had with his father at the local library.

Emma just happened to be there so she could pick up a couple of books that she discovered on her syllabus for the semester. Classes started Monday and already Emma was swamped with information and she had one more class that started on Thursday. While she was checking out the books with the librarian, Mr. Gold strolled in with his usual slimy grin and pronounced limp. It was only then that Emma realized why the petite brunette across the circulation desk looked so familiar, it was Belle, Gold's girlfriend.

"Emma, how good to see you. Are you finished with your classes this afternoon already?" he asked as he leaned across the desk to peck Belle on the cheek. "Belle, you look lovely."

Belle blushed and playfully pushed at Gold, making Emma's stomach churn at the thought of the two of them in an intimate relationship. "Hello, Mr. Gold."

"You and Neal settling in nicely?" His gaze his hers with the intensity of a slap to the face all the while he seemed relaxed.

"Can't say much for Neal since he's gone again," Emma muttered with sarcasm lacing her voice.

"My son does have business to conduct, Miss Swan. You cannot expect to have him be at your beck and call at every moment. I would have thought you more worldly than that, dearie."

"Rumple, be nice," Belle scolded. She handed Emma back her books. "He doesn't mean to be so rude, but he is quite private in his dealings. It's something I've come to live with."

Emma smiled sarcastically at Mr. Gold and then a little nicer to Belle before saying her goodbyes. Neal and his father had the capacity to turn her day sour in a matter of minutes. Hell, the whole reason they moved to Storybrooke was so that Neal wouldn't have to disappear at all. Emma didn't know why she believed that for one second. Ruby warned her over and over again and Emma kept assuring her that things would be different this time around. _Score another point for Ruby_.

She shoved her books under her arm and stormed down Main Street. For once, Neal had left the Bug behind and Emma had left it in front of Granny's with the intention of heading back there for lunch. Now, she wasn't exactly sure how hungry she was.

In her anger, Emma hadn't been watching in front of her as she walked and ended up smacking into someone. Emma lost her balance, dropping her books before falling back on her butt. She sucked in air as pain sliced through her palm after it slid across the concrete sidewalk.

"I'm so sorry, lass."

Emma's eyes traveled up from the hand that was extended before her to the arm and face it belonged to. Killian. Not that she didn't know that from his voice, but to actually see him before her in all her humiliating glory had her ducking her head once more. She grasped his hand and he hoisted her up. As she brushed herself off, she cringed in pain.

Killian rose from retrieving her books. "You're hurt."

"It's nothing," Emma tried to dismiss the injury already embarrassed enough.

"It's not nothing. You're in pain." Killian replaced her books back on the sidewalk and grabbed her hand to examine the wound. He reached into his inside coat pocket of his suit jacket and retrieved a flask.

She watched as he uncorked it with his mouth, as his other hand still cradled her own. When he poured the amber liquid over it, Emma squealed in pain. "What the hell was that?"

"Rum. A bloody waste of it."

Emma noticed the wound was now bleeding. He shoved the flask into the pocket of his dress pants and pulled the loosened tied from around his neck. It was then that Emma noticed he had been dressed to the nines in a beautiful dove gray business suit that probably cost more than her month's rent. He wrapped his black tie around her hand and carefully tied it, even using his teeth to make sure it was tight enough. All the while his eyes never wavered from her own. The expression on his face had her covered in tingles. Hell with that, even her tingles had tingles.

"Thank you," Emma said breathlessly.

The smile he gave her nearly short circuited her nervous system. "You're welcome, lass. It's not much, but it will have to do until you get home and properly dress it."

"I'm sorry I bumped into you."

"I'm not." Killian smiled at her with a playful grin, one eyebrow raised as if to dare her to challenge his statement.

Emma indicated her books that he had piled by his feet. "I guess I should go. I have some reading to do for school."

He shoved his hands into his pockets in an almost self-conscious gesture and rocked back on his heels. "Attending classes at Storybrooke College?"

"Uh-huh." Emma kneeled down to pick up her books and realized just how close to him she was as she answered. His crotch was literally three inches from her face. She blushed furiously and straightened as fast as she could without bumping into him.

He seemed to notice her discomfort, but instead of dismissing it, he reached out and grasped her chin so she would have to look at him. "Have dinner with me."

Not one word of that was a question, Emma realized, yet she felt that if she said no he would accept her answer graciously. However, Neal was gone, this time without a word and she was alone in Storybrooke without any friends. "Yes."

"Tonight?"

Emma nodded. She watched a gleam come into his eyes that she had never seen before. The look seemed almost possessive, as if she just agreed to more than sharing a meal with him. "Where?"

"There's a new restaurant that opened. It overlooks the docks. The place is on the top floor. The views at night are spectacular."

Emma wasn't sure if that was an appropriate place for friends to go, but agreed nonetheless. "Okay."

"I'll pick you up at seven."

As he began to walk past her, Emma stopped him by placing her hand on his arm. "Can I meet you there?"

Killian gave her a knowing look, but nodded. "Aye. I'll make reservations for seven-fifteen."

He once again began to go, but Emma needed to know one more thing. "Killian?"

"Yes, love?" He looked over his shoulder at her with an eyebrow raised.

"What should I wear?"

"Anything you like."

If Emma didn't know any better, that almost sounded like he would have been happy having her show up in nothing at all. That wasn't the same Killian who had taken her liquor glass away when she was eighteen. This new Killian had her on unsure footing.

She hurried back to her to the Bug parked at Granny's and drove back to the apartment she shared with Neal, any ideas of lunch forgotten. Her stomach was too tied up in knots to even think about food. Emma had no idea what to wear for this outing that Killian proposed. So, instead of reading that afternoon as she originally intended, Emma called Ruby, who luckily had the day off, to dish abut the evening to come.

"I told you Neal was a no good, son of a…"

"Ruby," Emma shouted. "You are not helping here. I have to meet Killian in a few hours and if I let you get us started on Neal right now, there is no way I will have enough time to get ready."

"Fine, but the next time I see Neal, I am going to seriously kick his ass."

"Get in line. I wouldn't mind taking a couple of licks at him right now myself. However, I need to find something to wear. I don't know anything about this place."

"I can get online and look it up," Ruby offered helpfully.

"Okay, but I don't even know what it is called," Emma told her as she pushed her clothes this way and that in her closet deciding she had nothing to wear.

"You said it's by the docks. I'll try to see if I can find it." There was a pause, but Emma could hear keys tapping in the background. "I found it." Ruby let out a whistle. "Girl, you let this one go and I am driving up to Storybrooke tomorrow and throwing myself at him."

"Why? What kind of restaurant is it?" Emma was fascinated. She and Neal had yet to get internet for their apartment, so it wasn't like she could look it up herself. That would mean she would have to go back to the library, and well, Emma didn't want to have that humiliation all over again.

"Let's just say, you need to pull out that red dress you have hiding in your closet that I convinced you to buy."

"I'm not wearing that, Ruby. It's practically indecent."

"I guess I'll just start mapping my trip then, because, Emma, otherwise you don't own clothes to go to a place like that."

Emma sat heavily on the bed she had recently straightened from Hurricane Neal. "Fine. I'll wear the dress. Next thing I know you'll be telling me I have to wear those stripper shoes you gave me for my birthday."

"Well, now that you mentioned it. And paint your nails."

"Do I have to?"

"For that place, hell yeah." Ruby sighed heavily.

"Fine. I'll do it." Emma walked over to the small vanity and began to lay out makeup and the only bottle of nail polish she owned.

"Oh my God!"

Emma stopped what she was doing, almost dropping the nail polish she was shaking. "What? What happened, Ruby?"

"Killian. Killian Jones. That's who you are going out with, right?"

"Yes, I told you that. He's Neal's step-father."

"Did you know that when his wife died she had a huge insurance policy? So big it left him a millionaire? It says here he majored in Engineering with a minor of Marine Biology, before he started his own engineering firm. Why can't I be you?"

Emma laughed. "Because then you would be dating Neal."

"Good point."

"I gotta go, Ruby. Thanks."

"Just tell me he has a brother," Ruby pleaded hopefully.

"He did once," Emma said sadly before she hung up.

CSCSCSCS

Killian had no idea what compelled him to ask out Emma Swan other than the need to put a smile on her face. She had looked upset as she walked down the sidewalk in his direction, that he deliberately stepped in her path. He hadn't meant for her to get hurt.

Without thinking twice, he had wrapped his favorite tie around her hand when he noticed the blood. A silk tie was nothing compared to one of Emma's tears.

Entering his office building by the docks, Killian greeted the receptionist on the way to his desk. The last thing he expected was to find Tink reclining comfortably in his chair while her feet, encased in sky-high heels, rested on top of his desk.

"What's going on, Tink?" Killian took his suit jacket off and placed it upon the back of the chair Tink resided in.

"I received some papers today. I believe they were meant for you."

He watched as she shifted her feet from the mahogany surface. She leaned down and retrieved a large envelope that she propped underneath his desk. Tink gave him a knowing look as she handed it to him.

"You've already read it, haven't you?"

Tink shrugged. "It landed on my desk, I was bound to open it."

"Do I want to read it?" he asked her sincerely knowing she was the only person, other than himself, who knew the reason behind his uncertainty.

She shrugged again. "Nothing really new. Maybe some small bit of knowledge you haven't already discovered."

"Bloody hell." Killian ran his hand through his hair and fell into the plush office chair Tink had vacated. "I need answers not more dead ends."

"Maybe someone's trying to tell you to leave it alone." 

Killian slammed his hand down on the desk, making Tink jump. "He was my brother, Tink. I can't just let it go. He was the only family I had left."

"Okay, calm down. How about you set it aside for a while? With a clearer head you might be able to sift through the little nuggets of information you have and see something new." Tink reached out and placed her hand over his palm. "How about we start with dinner? Just the two of us, no business, no past."

He looked up at her with a pained expression. "I already have dinner plans."

"With who?" Tink stepped back and crossed her arms.

"Does it matter?"

"To me? It shouldn't, but yes."

At times, Killian was lost over what ran through Tink's head. One minute she was teasing him about his apparent fascination over Emma and the next she seemed upset that he actually acted upon his feelings. He had always made it clear to Tink where their relationship was as far as his feelings were concerned.

"Emma."

"You're going to get your heart broken all over again. You realize this, right? Please tell me that I am not the only one who sees where all of this is heading?"

"It's just a friendly dinner, to welcome her back to town," he insisted.

Tink let out a small snort. "A friendly dinner is inviting Emma and your step-son over for dinner at your house. Not a cozy tete-a-tete with the woman you have been pining for the last few years."

"I haven't been pining."

"Whatever. Have fun. Good luck putting your heart back together. And don't bother asking me for any glue." She gave him the stink eye and left his office.

Killian leaned forward and rested his head and arms on his desk, after she slammed his office door shut. Just what he needed. Tink probably wouldn't speak to him for the next few days and the two of them had a large proposal on the dock restoration project that had to be completed by Friday. What wouldn't he give right now to have a punching bag in his office to relieve some of his tension.

CSCSCSCSCSCS

Emma stepped off the elevator at the top floor and gazed around the restaurant. She was so happy Ruby convinced her to go all out with her outfit. In her practically skin-tight red dress that barely stopped at her knees, and her five inch black heels, Emma felt like she could conquer the world, or break her ankles trying. She had even gone so far as curling her hair and painting her nails, a concession she hardly ever did when she went on a date with Neal.

This wasn't a date, she reminded herself. She was having dinner with a friend, that was it. Of course, if Emma was having dinner with Ruby or Graham she wouldn't be dressed to kill as she was now.

Emma spotted Killian by the hostess stand, a chalkboard behind him with the night's specials advertised in pink chalk. He smiled at her and her knees became liquid, a regular occurrence with him lately. He had chosen to wear a different suit from the one he had on earlier. This one was black and accented his hair. His slightly unbuttoned blue dress shirt underneath drew out the color of his eyes. As a matter of fact, the shirt he had on very much matched the one she still had hidden in the back of her closet.

Killian walked towards her as she approached. Her heart skipped a beat as his lips brushed her cheek. "You look stunning, Swan."

Emma blushed and ducked her head. His arm came around her waist and guided her to the hostess stand. "Table for two. The name is Jones."

The young woman gazed up at Killian, as if star struck. Emma couldn't blame her, Killian had that effect on women. It wasn't even five minutes ago her own knees turned to mush under his gaze.

"Of…of course. Right this way," the girl practically stumbled over her pumps in her haste. If Emma wasn't nervous enough herself she might have found it amusing.

Killian extended his arm and Emma wrapped her own around it, impressed. Neal had never once acted like a gentleman when they were out at a fancy restaurant with his father. Emma had always been a little envious when she saw other men performing the act. When they reached the table, Killian held out her chair so she could sit before he turned to take his own across from her.

After the hostess left, Killian gazed at Emma intently. She had never felt more self-conscious in her entire life. "What?"

"I'm happy that you decided to join me." 

"Neal wasn't home and a girl needs to eat," she teased, trying to sound much more confident then what she felt.

He reached across the table and tangled his fingers with her own. "So, I'm a means to an end? Or is there something you're hungering for that isn't on the menu?"

Emma's cheeks had to have easily matched the bright red of her dress. This man that Killian had become both intrigued and scared her. What was she supposed to say to his obvious invitation to something more than a friendly dinner?

He chuckled and released her hands. "Order whatever you hunger for, love. My treat. Consider this a welcome back present."

Emma watched the man before her peruse the menu with obvious interest. Her heart had yet to slow down from its incessant gallop the moment he smiled at her when she arrived. He exuded confidence and while his words were cocky and arrogant, he paired it with an air of charm and nonchalance that allowed the person he spoke with to feel special and not in the least put off by his remarks. Instead the words he chose were thought carefully out and made her feel wanted. Like she was the only woman there. And from the response the hostess had, it appeared she wasn't the only one who felt that way.

"You're not looking at your menu, love." His eyebrow rose and he set down his own. "Catering to some other meal?"

"No," Emma said quickly and grasped her menu to hide behind it, as she nervously laughed. She needed to calm down. If Killian could exude confidence, so could she. It was one night. She could do this. It wasn't like she had never been on a date with a good looking guy before. Graham had garnered more than his share of looks when they had gone out. _That's it_! She just had to act as if Killian was Graham. Her friend would also flirt with her, but it was nothing more than friendly fun and she easily rolled with the punches.

Emma peeked over her menu. Okay, so Killian was no Graham, but then this wasn't really a date either. _Deep breaths, Emma_. "What are you ordering?"

She had never been so happy to hear her voice that calm in her life. If she could dismiss his flirting as nothing fun, she could get through this dinner without fear of embarrassing herself, by grabbing a hold of him and kissing him until they both couldn't remember their names.

"I've heard the seafood paella here was excellent," Killian said as he watched Emma, not that he had taken his eyes off her since the moment she had stepped off the elevator.

"I was thinking about the lamb cutlet with the baby peas," Emma told him as she looked over at him. She tossed her head softly and her curls bounced along her collarbone.

The waiter approached and Killian placed their orders, asking for the sommelier to come by their table for the perfect wine pairings. From Emma's expression, Killian could tell that he was impressing her with not only his choice of restaurant but by his knowledge of wines. However, Killian would guess that if Emma had a choice, instead of wine, she'd prefer a stronger libation, preferably from the top shelf. A woman who would be after his own heart for sure.

"So…" Emma said, her hands fiddling with her napkin.

"Tell me about your classes. They've already started, I'm assuming."

She nodded and proceeded to inform him of her course of study, criminal justice. He regaled her with tales of his life on campus and which professors to look out for. Their conversation was easy and light all throughout their dinner. Killian was amazed. It was if they were old friends who hadn't connected in a while.

After they finished their meal, they settled back. Emma finished her wine, while he enjoyed a cup of coffee. "Thank you, Killian. I really enjoyed this."

"As have I, lass. I'm so happy you decided to join me."

Emma laughed. "You didn't exactly ask my opinion."

Killian sat up, stunned. His eyes narrowing on her open lips. "If I did not, I apologize."

"There's no need, Killian. As I said, I had a wonderful time, better than I would have with a grilled cheese from Granny's, watching reruns on the television." Her hand reached out and brushed over his as it played with his coffee mug.

Her touch sent waves of lust running through him. Killian reprimanded himself. There was no way he could rise from the table gracefully if he allowed his thoughts to roam in the direction they wished to go.

Quickly, Killian summoned the waiter to pay the bill. If he was lucky, maybe he could convince Emma to walk with him along the docks before heading home. After their bill was taken care of, he escorted her to the elevator, his hand gently upon her lower back. He half wondered if she would notice if he allowed his hand to slip lower. _Get your mind out of the gutter, Jones_.

"Would you like to take a stroll?" Killian asked as they reached the ground floor. He extended his arm out to her, allowing her to make the final decision.

Emma looked at him fully before she wrapped her arm around his. "I'd love to."

They walked in companionable silence, enjoying the warm late summer air that wafted from the ocean. The full moon shone brightly illuminating their way more than the meager lighting on the docks.

"It's beautiful out here," he heard Emma say wistfully.

"Not as beautiful as you are tonight."

Emma laughed and turned toward him. "C'mon, Killian. That was just lame."

He stepped closer to her. "I did not lie once tonight, love."

Her eyes fell briefly before they returned to meet his own. The green orbs filled with a spark of desire. Killian reached out a wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her enough so she stood between his legs. It was an intimate position out in the open, but no one was around.

"Killian."

"Emma," he replied in an amused tone. 

"Neal."

"Isn't here. And I didn't invite that particular elephant to the party."

"He's still here regardless," she admitted.

"Aye, he is and I have never hated elephants more than in this moment," Killian told her, trying to rein in the desire he was feeling.

Emma playfully peeked over her shoulder. "Oh, look, his back's turned," she teased, as she leaned into him. Her lips almost meeting his in the kiss they both sensed all evening was going to happen.

He wasn't about to let the opportunity pass. He tilted his head and covered her lips, letting her guide the tone of the kiss. When her teeth grazed his bottom lip, he groaned and sealed their lips tightly together. The feel of her tongue stroking his own made him want more, to take make her his in every way a man could love a woman.

His arms surrounded her. Killian's one hand shifting through her hair, pressing her closer. Her hands wrapped around his neck and held him just as tightly. Yet, when she pulled back, he allowed it. This could only go further if she wanted it too. He refused to make the choice for her. But, he would make the right one at this moment. "I'll take you home."

"Killian, I…"

He knew what she was thinking, because he was thinking the same way and repressing the urge to follow through. "And then I plan to leave you at your door and say goodnight."

"Oh." Her hand caressed his face. "Thank you, Killian."

"Elephants have their place and this one does not appear to be going anywhere anytime soon."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **So many amazing things have come about due to this fan fiction. One of the best is the meeting the two women who have helped me tremendously with this story, aimeeloren and steph-the-fangirl-925/Just4FunVids925. The other is seeing the amount of people who are enjoying this story as much as I am. Thank you one and all.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters, they belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 12 - I Know I Tend To Get So Insecure:**

"So, you're back," Emma announced from the couch two nights later when Neal strolled through their apartment door.

"Yeah." He dropped his keys on the kitchen counter, grabbed a beer from the fridge and walked over to sit next to Emma. Neal stretched his arm along the back so it was behind her.

Emma briefly glared at him before she went back to watching the latest episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. She half wondered if he was even going to talk about his trip, not that she was interested in whatever excuse he cooked up.

"How'd classes go?" He asked her after several minutes.

She shrugged. "Have two more tomorrow."

When Neal reached out and grabbed her shoulder in an attempt to massage it. She shrugged him off and went to sit in the arm chair. After her conversation with Ruby last night about her date with Killian, Emma was feeling less than charitable with Neal.

"What's wrong with you?" He looked at her as if she was the only one with a problem.

Figuring she wasn't going to enjoy any more of the show, Emma shut off the television. "What's wrong with me? Really?"

"School must be stressing you out. I'll go grab a shower and go to bed. We can figure out what your problem is this weekend before we head over to my father's house on Saturday for dinner." Neal rose from the couch and stripped off his t-shirt.

Emma stood up as well. "I want to talk about this now."

"Not now. I need a shower. You can yell at me later," he shot over his shoulder as he headed down the hall.

Emma followed him. "I just want one answer. Where the hell were you? All these times you've told me about your trips to Maine to take care of business for your dad and now we're here, in Maine, and you disappear again."

"It's no big deal. I had to run back to Boston to take care of some stuff." Neal entered the bathroom, his clothes falling to the floor around him, and began to run the water for his shower.

"That's it?" Emma crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down. "That's all you're going to tell me?"

"That's all you need to know. What I do for my dad's business is between him and me. If he wanted you in he would have hired you." Neal stepped into the tub and pulled the shower curtain closed signaling he was done with the conversation.

Kicking the bathroom door hard, Emma grabbed her foot in pain. Neal pulled back the curtain, leveling a hard stare at her. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"I'm fine. Thanks for asking, Neal," Emma told him sarcastically as she examined her toes.

He shoved the shower curtain back in place and Emma hobbled to their room. Grabbing her pillow she lifted it to her face and screamed. Then Emma grabbed a blanket as well and limped back out to the couch. There was no way in hell was she going to sleep in the same bed with Neal right now. She might feel inclined to strangle him in his sleep.

Emma wasn't eighteen anymore. Nor was she naïve. Neal was doing something in his absences that he didn't want her to discover. She'd let him keep his secrets for now, but she knew Neal had no plans to keep his promise to not disappear. And she refused to just sit there and take it.

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"What's wrong with you?" Tink asked Killian Friday morning.

"You're talking to me again? I'm sorry, but I can't keep up," he said as he shuffled the paperwork on his desk into some semblance of order.

"When your personal assistant comes to me crying because you're being a complete ass, yes, I will talk to you to find out what's wrong." Tink stood before his desk, her hands leaning on the edge as she glared at him. "Emma break your heart already? That's a new record."

"No."

"That sounded more like 'it's none of my business' than an actual denial." Her arms crossed over her chest.

"It's not any of your business."

"Talk. I'm not leaving until you do." Tink sat in one of the leather chairs that he had across his desk for clients. "The last three days you have been a total prick to be around. And considering most of the people who were complaining were women, that's saying something, as most of the women in this office tend to fall all over themselves to help you."

"Nothing happened. We had dinner and I took her home. That's my tale and I'm sticking to it." Killian leaned back in his chair and glared at Tink. "Now you know so you can leave." He waved at the office door. "Unless you're here to actually accomplish something, like helping me finish typing the proposal for the mayor's office that's due," Killian checked his watch, "in five hours."

"Fine." Tink stood and straightened her pencil skirt. "Don't tell me. And when all our employees quit don't say I didn't warn you."

Killian rolled his eyes in exasperation. Tink might be a genius when it came to blueprints, but she frustrated the hell out of him. _That's what happens when you mix business with pleasure, Jones_.

Tink leaned over his desk and pulled his tie so his face met hers. "I'm serious. Don't come running back to me if she destroys you." She grabbed the large file on the center of his desk. "I'll take this. If we rely on you to type up this proposal we'll miss the bid."

Turning on her heels, she left the room. Killian was thankful for the moment of blissful silence. He reached over and pulled out his side desk drawer and removed his flask to take a deep drink. Closing his eyes in appreciation of the slow burn, he relaxed for the first time in two days.

If he could eradicate his memories of Emma from his mind as quickly as he could his thirst, life would be that much easier. And so what if he was a little irritable? He was entitled. It wasn't every day that you realized the woman you craved might return the feelings. However, life liked to kick him in the ass, and thus she was involved with someone else. And not just anyone, his own step-son. Fate had a funny way of laughing at him.

The liquor suddenly turned sour in his stomach. "Bloody hell."

Killian threw the flask back into his desk and slammed the drawer shut with his foot. He needed to get out of the office. His gaze rested on the scene out of his office window. The ocean. He needed to be out on the water. It was the only place that he could stop and think without any interference.

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Emma had never been happier than when her last class finished for the day. It was only her first week and she was already stressed. Of course, none of the anxiety she felt had anything to do with school.

Neal had taken the day off from work, leaving Emma to have use of the Bug. Next week she'd have to figure out a different mode of transportation to get to and from the college, but not today. Dumping her books on the passenger side seat, Emma sat there for a minute. The last thing she wanted was to go home and get into a fight with Neal.

Turning the car in the direction of the docks, Emma resolved to go there for a few hours to read before heading back home. It took only a few minutes to get there as traffic was still light. People weren't returning home yet from their long work week. Parking, she noticed a sailboat cutting through the water as it approached the docks. The white sails gleamed in the bright sunlight. She had to hold a hand up to her eyes to deflect the glare.

Emma watched a dark haired man jump out of the boat as it pulled into an empty slip. He seemed rather dressed up to be sailing. His white dress shirt, rolled up on his arms, shone just as brightly as his sails had. The dark slacks hugged his legs. Emma found it somewhat astonishing to see his feet bare. She couldn't help but stare, the man was as beautiful as his boat. If only there wasn't such a glare from the water, so she could actually see his face.

She got out of her car and leaned back on the hood of the Bug and watched as he tied down the boat. Her mouth practically drooled as he bent over. Okay, one kiss with Killian earlier in the week and now this, apparently she was sexually deprived as she and Neal hadn't had sex in almost three weeks, since they moved and he was gone this past week.

The man disappeared back onboard and Emma sighed. So much for her eye candy distraction. Emma went to the side door and pulled out her book, she might as well do what she planned and read since the entertainment was over.

Closing the door and rounding the car, Emma headed for an empty bench nearby to settle in. She no sooner opened her book than the guy reappeared. His feet were now shod in perfectly shined shoes, his hands clenching a suit jacket and a briefcase. It was only as he got closer that Emma panicked.

Holding her book high to cover her face, Emma pretended to read. If she had been paying attention at all to the book in front of her instead of listening for Killian's footsteps, she might have noticed it was upside down.

"Emma?"

She lowed the book and blinked at him trying to appear casual. "Oh. Hi, Killian. Didn't realize you were here."

He laughed and reached for her book. "No, I'm sure you didn't."

Emma blushed as he righted her book so she could actually read it. "It's okay, love. I have quite that effect on women."

She kicked out a leg to hit him in the shin but he deftly avoided it, mirth lighting his eyes. "Ah, ah, ah, love. I prefer to keep all my attachments in fine working order. Never know which one a woman might prefer."

Emma saw him waggle his eyebrows playfully and all she could think of was to knock him down a peg or two, as she gave him a scathing look. "I'm sure they're not as impressive as you may believe."

He moved so he was behind the bench, making her think that he was retreating. Then she felt his breath tickle her ear and her spine straightened. "I'd be happy enough to let you judge for yourself."

She sucked in her breath and closed her eyes, pressing her legs firmly together at the implication of his statement. She all but melted in her chair when she heard him continue. "Hmm, love. Looks like my tongue is all I may need."

Emma sunk lower in her seat as his tongue lightly traced the edge of her ear. "Please," she breathed.

There was no response to her request. Finally gaining control of her wayward body, she turned and discovered Killian was gone. Looking around she couldn't find him anywhere. It was as if he just vanished. Maybe the whole incident was some sexually deprived dream.

Emma's fingers touched her ear and she felt the dampness that lingered, knowing it had been no dream on her part. God, Killian was lethal and should be contained for the benefit of all.

There was no way she was going to be able to read now, not after her run-in with Killian and yet in her state of mind she refused to go home. Pulling out the small flip phone Neal had arranged for her to have in case of an emergency, Emma dialed Ruby. If almost having an orgasm on a bench out in the open with on Killian's words sending her over the edge didn't constitute an emergency Emma didn't know what was.

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Killian didn't know what got into him at the docks. Seeing Emma after he had a chance to relax on the water, had him turned on faster than a Lamborghini under a professional driver's foot. He still had the erection to prove it.

Keeping his coat on his arm in front of him gave him some semblance of decency as he entered his office building. He stopped short though when he heard Neal Cassidy's name coming from his receptionist. Ducking behind a large frond, he listened to her conversation.

"You're right Neal does need to watch his back," she said before pausing. "No! You're kidding. Even his father hasn't found out yet?"

Killian was confused as to what the conversation could be pertaining to, but he felt like he should listen for Emma's sake. She deserved to know what people were saying about the liar she was dating.

"How long has he been seeing her?" Killian watched as Mrs. Trimble's eyes widened in shock. "That long? He's still dating that blonde girl though, right? Didn't I hear the two of them moved here to Storybrooke?"

Killian pulled up short. Neal was seeing someone beside Emma? Who the hell would do that, well besides Neal, of course.

"I've heard he's made plenty of trips to Boston." Another pause. "Yes, I know he lived there, but he cut short his business with his father to head back early and you and I both know it wasn't to go home."

Her snickering laugh grated on Killian's ragged nerves. Emma didn't deserve this. Not the gossip and definitely not the cheating.

Stepping around the plant, Killian scuffed his feet loudly to announce his presence. His receptionist quickly hung up the phone, smiled at him and wished him a good afternoon.

"Mrs. Trimble, I would appreciate it if you left gossip for after working hours." Killian glared down at the elderly lady. Secretly he was happy that her gossip allowed him to discover even more evidence of Neal's treachery where Emma was concerned.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Jones. Here are your messages." She handed over three pink slips of paper. "And Miss Bell is waiting in your office so the two of you can discuss the mayor's proposal on the dock restoration that's due this afternoon."

"Thank you, Mrs. Trimble." Killian turned and flipped through the messages. Nothing he couldn't deal with come Monday, leaving his afternoon free to accompany Tink over to the mayor's office.

Seeing the irony in the action, Killian knocked on his own office door before he entered. Tink, for once, was waiting in one of the visitor's chairs, her legs crossed, one leg swinging back and forth. She looked over at him and then her watch. "About time you showed up."

"We easily have an hour before the proposal is due," he informed her, setting down his briefcase near his desk and hanging his coat on the back of his chair, before he sat down.

"Yes, we do, but I need to discuss one of these figures before we can submit it."

They just made the deadline after a long discussion over numbers, Killian finally conceding to Tink's excellent mind for figures. When they got there, the mayor quizzed them on their proposal, before informing them that they would more than likely win the bid. So, Killian was exhausted by the time he arrived home. His head still swimming with the knowledge that Neal may be cheating on Emma.

His mind battled over whether he should call Emma and tell her what he did know about Neal. First there was the lying about the sweater and the abandonment in the car and now the cheating. The first two happened so long ago that he thought Emma might dismiss them and the last he couldn't prove other than what he may have overheard. He laid back on his bed unmindful of the expensive suit he wore and rubbed his hands over his face, feeling the scratchiness of the beard that was beginning to form.

Killian refused to look like a fool. Neal would claim Killian was jealous if Emma confronted Neal without proof. Killian's hand had crept several times to the phone, but he held off. He needed a good night's sleep to seriously debate how he would get around telling her.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Thank you one and all for all of your lovely reviews, I appreciate and read each one. Also, a big thank you to aimeeloren for beta-ing this story. And to Steph with Just4FunVids925 for her lovely video. Be sure to check out her latest video, ANIMALS (CS AU), it's fantastic.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 13 - It Doesn't Matter Anymore:**

All weekend Killian had been tormented with the knowledge of Neal's duplicity. In a town the size of Storybrooke, secrets were not known to stay hidden for very long.

Killian wondered how soon it would be before Emma found out. And for some reason, he felt it would be better coming from him, or more specifically Neal, than to have the town crier, otherwise know as Leroy, the town's go-to maintenance man, shout it from the rooftops. The problem was how was Killian to tell her anything without any proof.

He had enough problems trying to track down the person who killed his brother, without the added pressure of Neal and his two-timing, lying ways. Wanting to punch something, Killian found himself walking to the local gym. Not many people were inside at eight pm on Sunday night. Going through the gym to the back, Killian went to his gym locker and changed into a spare pair of clothes he kept there.

Once dressed, he headed straight for the boxing bags in the one corner of the gym. He taped his hands and did some stretches before picking a bag to pummel. On one particularly hard punch, a face popped up next to him, distracting him from the bag's return.

"Omph." Killian caught the bag as it hit him in the side.

"Sorry. I was surprised to see you here so late," David Nolan said as he steadied the bag for Killian.

"It's okay, mate. I wasn't exactly paying much attention." Killian noticed part of the tape loosened on his left palm and reset it. "Mary-Margaret doing okay?"

David grinned. "She's great. It's funny because she asked about you the other day. I told her I haven't seen you in over a month and poof here you are."

Both men laughed. Killian admired the other man. David had a lot of lofty goals back in college and he had managed to accomplish almost every one of them. Killian, as successful as he was, mostly made possible after his inheritance from Milah's death, wished he had half the drive as his buddy Dave.

"So, you going to tell me who you really want to hit?" David asked as he sobered. "The way you're smacking this thing around it seemed like you painted someone's face on it."

Killian debated telling David. Dave was not one to spread rumors, but Killian was still unsure. _Bloody hell_! He needed to tell someone or he'd explode. Smashing his hand into the bag once more, Killian ripped the tape from his hands. "Neal. Neal Cassidy."

David seemed to consider that for a minute. "Don't think I've met him."

"Aren't you a lucky bloke," Killian hissed sarcastically. "I know you know his father. Mr. Gold."

David sucked in a breath. "Damn. Don't mess with that family. Mr. Gold is pure evil."

Killian leveled a look at his friend. "A little too late for that advice, mate. I married Milah, remember?"

"Shit. I forgot."

"Aye. Anyway, it is what it is." Killian began to walk back to the locker room and David walked with him.

"What did Gold's son do? If he's half as bad as his old man I can just imagine." David sat on one of the benches near the lockers while Killian opened his.

"He's a liar and a cheat."

David chuckled. "You lose to him at poker or something?"

"Worse." Killian turned to face his friend. "What would you have done if you met Mary-Margaret and she was involved with someone else?"

David looked at Killian hard, then drew into himself as if thinking very hard over the question that had been posed to him. When he glanced back up at Killian, he had an answer. "I'd fight like hell to win her over."

Killian sat down hard on the bench next to his friend. "Now what if you discovered that guy was cheating on her and has lied to her in the past?"

"I'd be hard pressed not to kill him. Mary-Margaret deserves better."

"And so does Emma."

"Emma? Who's Emma?" David seemed confused.

"Emma Swan. She's dating Neal."

Realization dawned in David's eyes. "You like her. Oh my God. I thought you and… Never mind what I thought." David clapped Killian on the back. "I'm so happy you found someone. Just wait until Mary-Margaret hears about this."

"Don't. It doesn't really matter. Emma's dating Neal. They live together. Nothing is going to happen." Killian took of the sneakers he was wearing and threw them into his locker.

"No. I refuse to believe that. If you can't get a woman, whether she's dating someone else or not, the rest of us don't stand a chance."

Killian grinned at his friend, thought half-heartedly. "Said the man who met the love of his life and plans to marry her in the very near future."

"I do have to ask her first," David said with a slight blush to his cheeks.

"You haven't popped the question yet, mate? I thought you bought the ring already."

"I did, but I haven't had the right moment. Women dream about when they are proposed to, if I don't do it right, Mary-Margaret might nail my ass to a tree. You haven't seen her with a bow and arrow. She's dangerous and the state record holder." David laughed and Killian did too. "This isn't about me though. Why don't you ask them over for dinner? Mary-Margaret and I will come too if it make you feel better. A few minutes in your company and she'll forget Gold's kid in no time." 

David rose and smacked Killian in the back of the head, when Killian groaned and gritted his teeth. "Stop worrying and do it. If this guy is a bad as you made him out to be, Mary-Margaret will sniff him out in no time. Being a school teacher she can find troublemakers in minutes." 

"How's Thursday?" 

With a nod David agreed. "Sounds good to me, but I'll check with Mary-Margaret for sure and get back to you tomorrow."

Killian stood and man-hugged David. "Thanks, Dave. I owe you."

"Get the girl first and then we'll talk." David smiled, waved and left.

Killian quickly changed. He had a long day of meetings tomorrow and Killian finally felt like he could rest. He figured he'd call Emma tomorrow night to discuss plans for dinner sometime after her classes finished and before the last meeting he had scheduled for the day at his office. It was a good thing he had a dinner meeting planned, or else he might feel compelled to ask her out for dinner tomorrow as well.

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Killian never had a chance to call Emma. He ran into Neal during his lunch break on Monday and brought up the idea of coming over Thursday night for dinner. Neal had hesitated and said he'd discuss it with Emma. Killian was pretty sure that was one conversation the couple would not be having. If Neal was as responsible as he tried to make everyone believe, he wouldn't be cheating on Emma and he definitely would not have lied about the sweater that Killian had left at their door all those years ago.

Resigned to the fact that they weren't planning to come, Killian was ready to call David and cancel the whole dinner by the time he got back to his office. However, Killian wanted to see his friends. It had been a few months since he enjoyed the pleasure of Mary-Margaret's company.

"Knock knock," Tink announced as she entered his office.

Killian looked at the time and realized he was late for their next meeting. "Sorry, Tink. Don't know what I was thinking."

"It's alright. The Baxters called and said they are running about fifteen minutes behind."

Relief poured through Killian. He hated being late. His family was chock full of sailors and punctuality was drilled into every one of them from an early age.

"You seem better today. Not as cranky."

Killian glanced over at Tink and shrugged. "Guess I needed the weekend off to relax."

"That's all it took? You sure?" she asked with a small smile on her lips and tilt to her head.

He rose from his chair and strolled over to Tink on the way out the door. Whispering in her ear with a wink of his eye. "If it took anything else you would have had a front row seat."

Tink followed him to the boardroom. "Considering your feelings for Emma, that's almost disgusting. Unless you're shooting for threesomes now."

Killian held open the door for Tink to enter before him. "No. I'm definitely a one at a time kind of guy. Wouldn't want anyone to feel left out."

Tink rounded on him with a twinkle in her eye and her arms crossed. "Why? You afraid you'll be left all alone?'

Killian glared at her and strolled over to the sidebar, where his personal assistant had set up beverages. Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he turned and leaned against the counter.

"I don't even get a cup?" she asked.

"Get your own."

With a humph, Tink walked over and poured her own cup of coffee. "You can be such an ass sometimes."

He leaned down and winked at her, "Only with you."

"Sorry for interrupting," an elderly man said upon entering the room. "We'll come back."

Killian straightened, while Tink fiddled with her cup. "No, there's no reason. You are right on time." Killian indicated the seats around the boardroom table. "Miss Bell and I were having a disagreement, but nothing to concern yourselves with."

Everyone sat around the table. When the meeting began, thoughts of Emma drifted from Killian's mind and he was able to relax into the rest of his meetings for the day.

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It was Wednesday morning and Emma was running late to class. She needed to take the Bug over to the college or she'd never make it on time.

"Neal." Emma shook Neal's shoulder as he slept on the bed. "Neal. I need to take the Bug or I'll be late. Can you get a ride to work?"

Neal rubbed his eyes and blinked at her. "I have a job. You just have class. Why do you need the car?" 

Emma humphed. "Because I'm about to be late. Just like you are if you don't get your lazy butt out of bed."

"Fine. Take it, but you owe me," he told her as he began to rise from the bed, scratching his naked chest.

"What? You're kidding me, right?" Emma stood there stunned. "How is my taking the car payment for something? I wouldn't take it if I didn't need it. Never mind. I don't have the time to discuss this right now."

Neal followed her out of the room, as she gathered her stuff for school from the couch. "We're going to Killian's for dinner tomorrow. He asked on Monday when I ran into him."

Emma whipped around. "You're telling me this now?"

"Well, I still have to call him to confirm, but, yeah."

She glanced at her watch. Damn, she really did not have the time to deal with Neal. "Whatever, let me know later. I'm late."

Running out the door, Emma's head spun. Dinner with Killian and Neal. No, that wouldn't be awkward at all. One guy she was sleeping with and the other filled her sexual frustrated dreams. How the hell was she supposed to concentrate on class now?

Bad enough she woke up to another one of those dreams just this morning. Her body had been covered in sweat, her breath coming in gasps and her hand in her underwear. It had been a good thing that Neal had still been fast asleep. That was one conversation she refused to have with him.

She couldn't think about it. Not about the way that Killian kissed her. Not about the way she could imagine his hands trailing down her sides. And, definitely, not the way she felt after her orgasmic experience on the bench down by the docks. They were having a lecture today for a paper that would be due the following week. Emma needed to concentrate and thinking about either Neal or Killian was not the best way to do that.

It was four o'clock in the afternoon before Emma allowed her mind to wander back to her dilemma from earlier in the day. Not that her problem should trouble her, but it did. She was dating Neal, to think about getting involved with anyone else was ridiculous. She and Killian couldn't repeat what happened on the docks after their date or even what occurred after she saw him on his boat for that matter. All of it had to come to an end and if she didn't draw the line in the sand now, she wasn't sure if she would be able to later. Killian was her kryptonite. She had to stay away, or else she might lose whatever will power she still possessed.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **Wow. I am awed by the response this fan fiction is getting. I am so happy each and every one of you have decided to take this ride along with me. A big thank you to aimeeloren, my beta, who has been AMAZING. And another thank you to Stephanie, the wonderful woman behind the video that started this all. Be sure to check out all her amazing videos on YouTube, Just4FunVids925. **Just a warning this chapter and the next will contain strong language**.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the wonderful franchise of Once Upon A Time. A franchise that has been so supportive of its fans from day one.

**Chapter 14 - It's Not Always Rainbows And Butterflies:**

The doorbell rang and Killian rushed to his front door. Standing outside was his tall blond haired buddy, Dave, and his curvaceous, dark haired girlfriend, Mary-Margaret. The later eyed him warily over the cake she was holding.

"Spill it, Jones," she said as she walked past him.

David gave him a grin and a slap on the back as he entered. "She's in rare form tonight."

Killian sighed and closed the door, following the couple into his living room. "Neal and Emma should be here shortly. Do you want a drink?"

The couple shook their heads and he watched as Mary-Margaret set the cake down on the side table. Killian knew he would need a good stiff drink if he planned on answering the confrontational Mary-Margaret. Pouring a healthy dose of rum in a crystal cut glass, he walked back and joined his friends. Trying his best to look innocent, Killian asked "Spill what exactly?"

Mary-Margaret leveled a stern look in his direction. It was her teacher stare and if Killian hadn't already been the recipient of it many times before now, he might have been quaking in his shoes.

"Killian Jones, you better tell me right now what all this is about. I've already gathered from David it involves a woman." She and Killian both looked over at David, who had his hands up as it ready to defend himself from whoever attacked first. "He's a terrible liar."

Bloody hell, Mary-Margaret was in all out teacher mode. Now was not the time to give her shit. "You'll understand when the other couple shows up."

Mary-Margaret glared at Killian. "Tell me now."

"Fine." Killian sat down in the arm chair near the couch that Mary-Margaret and David occupied. "Her name is Emma."

"I've gathered that much. And the only other thing I've gleaned from David was that she is dating Neal, your step-son." 

Killian nodded solemnly. Finishing off his drink, he set the glass on the coffee table between them. "She and Neal had been staying here after Milah died. I can't explain it. I was drawn to her. She tried to be my friend and I almost ruined it by accosting her in the hallway after Milah's funeral. And I will never forgive myself for that."

Mary-Margaret rose and crossed over to Killian. She laid her hand on his shoulder and crouched down next to his chair, her gaze full of concern. "You were in a vulnerable place. If she is your friend, she'll understand that."

"It wasn't that," Killian ground out. "It's her. As I said, I can't explain it."

Killian threw himself from the chair and began to pace. He ran his hand through his hair. When the doorbell rang once more, he stopped abruptly.

"I'll get it." Mary-Margaret announced, as she walked out of the room.

Killian glared over at his reclining friend. "What else did you tell her?"

David looked ready to defend himself. "Nothing. I swear. But, I must admit she was as shocked as I was. We both assumed you and Tink had something going on. She's the only woman you've been seeing for some time now." 

"We work together," Killian told him levelly.

"So? I know you. You love hard, but it takes a while to get to that heart of yours. It's been battered and bruised enough for several lifetimes." 

David looked as if he would continue, but sounds coming from the entryway stopped him. They both turned to see Mary-Margaret ushering Neal and Emma inside.

"Hey, man," Neal said approaching Killian and shaking his hand. "Thanks for having us. Beats having Emma cook us Pop Tarts for dinner."

Killian gritted his teeth and tried to smile. Neal moved off to introduce himself to David and Killian walked over to an angry Emma. "Don't let him get to you, Swan."

Her flashing eyes met his. "Only if you promise not to punch him." 

Mary-Margaret, who had been standing next to Emma, chimed in. "I'll make sure any childish urges on his and David's parts are kept to a minimum."

Killian inclined his head in answer. "I can only speak for myself, but that is incentive enough to hold back for the moment."

"Killian," Mary-Margaret reprimanded. "Why don't I help you in the kitchen."

She dragged him from the room, grabbing her cake along the way. When they reached the kitchen she rounded on him. "You need to calm down. Emma was embarrassed enough by Neal's behavior, she doesn't need you to act all caveman as well."

"I can't help it. He rubs me the wrong way." Killian shoved his hands in his pockets and frowned as Mary-Margaret set her cake off to the side. "She deserves better than that."

Mary-Margaret came back and poked him in the chest. "So, prove it. If he's spouting out at the mouth like that the second he meets someone, just imagine what he will do after a couple of beers. Calm down, relax and let him be himself."

Killian embraced his friend's girlfriend. For a woman who could dress him down with just a look, she gave the best pep talks. "Thanks, Mary-Margaret."

She gave him a smile. "Now, let's bring out dinner and let the rest play out. You're a good man, Killian Jones. I want you to be happy."

The two carried out the dinner Killian had prepared earlier, a beef tenderloin with roasted vegetables. He offered several selections of wine and imported beer. Killian poured Mary-Margaret and Emma each a glass of a beautiful Cabernet Sauvignon from California, while the men enjoyed a Belgian Ale.

Dinner seemed to be progressing rather well, conversation was light until Neal, now on his third beer, asked, "David, what is it you do?"

"I'm a veterinarian."

"Seriously? Like dogs and cats and stuff?"

"Actually," Mary-Margaret chimed in from next to her boyfriend. "He works mostly with horses and farm animals. He's really great at what he does."

"Why the hell would you want to do that?" Neal asked incuriously, ignoring Emma's slap on his arm.

"I grew up on a farm. I've always loved animals," David explained. "When I lost the farm after my mother passed away, I always hoped to find a way to get it back. Until then, I'm quite happy working with the animals that need my care."

"At least you love your job, David." Emma glared over at Neal.

Killian watched the interplay in rapt interest, but was hesitant to join in the conversation just yet. What really pissed him off was Emma's veiled attempts for Neal to shut up, which the man ignored.

"And what about you, Neal? What do you do?" Mary-Margaret asked, while all eyes centered on him. Even Emma appeared anxious for Neal's answer.

"I work for my dad." Neal suddenly seemed very interested in the food in front of him.

"Just general stuff or is there a particular business of his you help with?" Mary-Margaret continued with her questions.

Killian had never wanted to kiss Mary-Margaret so much in his life. Leave it to the woman who dealt with recalcitrant fourth graders to pry information from someone.

"I help with obtaining different business interests that my father has his sights on. I convince people and companies to sell out to my father."

"Only struggling companies, right, Neal?" Emma asked with some concern.

"Yeah, whatever." Neal shrugged.

"Neal?" Emma turned to face Neal, clenching his arm. "Tell me you only do it for everyone's benefit, not just your father's."

"We'll talk about it later."

"I want to talk about it now."

Neal pointed to the others at the table. "It's none of their business and really none of yours either. I've told you before, if my father wants you to know, he'll tell you."

Killian watched Emma's eyes turn a steely green. "Like your father tells Belle?"

"How the hell should I know what he tells her. That's their business, not mine." 

"Emma, why don't you help me with the dishes," Mary-Margaret suggested as she rose from the table. "We'll start some coffee before we have dessert."

Emma followed Mary-Margaret from the room relieved to be away from Neal even if it was only for a few minutes. Hearing about what Neal did for his father had taken her by surprise. Emma had always suspected that Mr. Gold was far from the up and up, but never did she suspect that he practically conned people out of their businesses.

"That's how David lost the farm, you know," Mary-Margaret told her as she made coffee. "Mr. Gold refuses to sell it back to David and the whole place is in shambles. David never told me, but I found out from Killian he drives out past his old home once a week."

"I'm so sorry." Emma knew the words could do nothing to help, but felt bad for what Neal's family had done to the Nolans.

Mary-Margaret patted Emma's hand. "I know. Even I wish there was more I could do."

"Maybe, I could talk to Neal's father," Emma suggested.

"No. There's no need to put yourself in the middle. Things will work out when they are supposed to."

Emma was astounded at Mary-Margaret's words. "How can you be so optimistic?"

"What would we achieve if we weren't? We all hope for something. We just have to acknowledge it when it comes, otherwise you lose that hope. And that, the loss of hope, is something no one should have to experience."

Emma gave Mary-Margaret a sad smile. "Some of us lose hope sooner than others."

"What happened?" Mary-Margaret asked concerned, leading Emma to the table that was now situated in the corner of the kitchen.

Emma told Mary-Margaret her story, or at least the condensed version of it. From being left along the side of the highway here in Maine when she was a baby, to the several foster care systems she fell into throughout the country, to her time when she stole the car in Portland, leading into her relationship with Neal.

Emma hadn't really told anyone, except Ruby and Neal, her whole story, but there was something about Mary-Margaret that let Emma know that what was said would remain between them. Maybe it was her school teacher persona. No, it wasn't that. It was something much deeper that allowed Emma to trust Mary-Margaret and Emma was never so happy to have a friend. By the time she looked at the clock, she realized that she and Mary-Margaret had been away from the guys for over a half hour.

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Killian waited for the women to leave the room before he leveled a hard gaze on his step-son. "What the bloody hell?"

Neal continued to drink his beer as if he had done nothing wrong, while David was stabbing what was left of his beef as if he was killing Mr. Gold, or maybe Neal. Hell it could have been both.

"Could you embarrass your girlfriend, or yourself, any more, mate?"

Neal glared over at Killian. "What's it to you?" 

Slamming his seat back, Killian rose, towering over the still seated Neal. Killian's hands clenched in his fury. His eyes narrowed on the slightly older man, until David grabbed his arm and muttered, "Don't."

Glancing over at his friend, Killian's cheek ticked as his teeth clenched. David pointedly looked at Killian's discarded chair and Killian forced his body to relax back into it. He grabbed his beer and chugged down the rest wishing for the life of him it was a bottle of rum instead.

Neal still intent on enjoying what was left of his beer inquired of David, "What's with him?"

David gave Neal a stern glance, reminiscent of his girlfriend's teachers glare, before he pointedly glanced in Killian direction. "Not a damn thing. Why don't we go back to the living room? I know I wouldn't mind having a little stronger libation. Killian?"

"Yes, of course." Killian stood more slowly this time. He waved his hand to indicate they should head out of the dining room.

"Neal, go ahead and help yourself. Killian and I will join you in a minute," David told Neal, his hand grabbing Killian's forearm to stop him.

Both men watched Neal leave. A full minute later, David turned on Killian. "What the hell was that? Why were you challenging him?"

Killian waved at the table. "You saw what he did."

"Yes, and while Emma was suitably embarrassed, he was attacking me, not her. There was no need for your display of machismo."

"You, Emma, doesn't matter. He had no right and at my own table no less."

David gripped Killian by the shoulders giving him a shake. "Get yourself together. He sees insulting Emma, or any of us, makes you upset he'll act on that information. He is out to one up you. He wants to show that he is more dominant. Don't let him win, because he is messing with your head."

"But…"

"Look, Emma doesn't need the two of you fighting over her. Let him be himself. Be the gentleman that you are and don't give in to him." David gave Killian one last shake before releasing him. "Now, relax. We have to go have drinks with him while the girls talk."

"I can't guarantee I won't drink the whole bloody bottle," Killian ground out. 

David gave him a sideways glance as they began to head to the living room. "Then you better damn well have a second one for me. I think we both might need it."

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Mary-Margaret heated the mugs of coffee that had gone slightly cold during their talk, as Emma gathered plates and forks for the chocolate cake Mary-Margaret had baked for dessert. Emma was enjoying her time with Mary-Margaret. Besides Ruby and Graham, who were both in Boston, Emma had a distinctive lack of friends. It would be nice to have one close by.

"Mary-Margaret?"

The brunette turned and smiled at Emma. "Yes?"

"Can you give me your honest opinion about Killian?" Emma blushed. "I mean I know I sort of know him, as I said we stayed here after Milah passed away but… Oh, hell, I can't explain it."

Mary-Margaret let out a short laugh. "There seems to be a rash of that lately."

Emma gave her a confused look, but Mary-Margaret continued. "I saw you watching him at dinner and he you."

"No. It's not like that."

"Because you are dating Neal," Mary-Margaret said matter of factly with a small nod. "Sometimes we can't always choose who we fall in love with."

"I'm not… I mean he's not… We're not…"

Mary-Margaret set the mugs she was holding down and walked over to Emma. "It's okay."

"No, actually, it's not," Emma admitted.

"Can I say something without you getting upset? I know we just met, so I don't know how you will take this."

Emma smiled softly at her. "Sure."

"Comparing Killian to Neal is like comparing rainbows to butterflies. They are both beautiful in their own way, but any comparison pretty much ends there." Mary-Margaret stopped and gazed intently into Emma's eyes, as if judging her reaction. "However, we all quickly discover that while one is an actual physical being, the other is nothing more than a trick of the light. It's not really there at all. And if it isn't there, how can it love you back? We all deserve to be loved, Emma, you more than anyone."

Emma felt a tear slip from her eye. She hadn't even told Mary-Margaret about all of Neal's disappearances, and yet, Mary-Margaret hit Neal on the head by saying he was never really there. If she couldn't count on him to be there for her when she needed him most, how could she trust that Neal would be there for anything else.

Mary-Margaret reached out and hugged her. "You just have to have hope, Emma. All love and happiness begins with hope, even when it is just for yourself."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Each time I post a new chapter I become amazed at the response that this story receives. Whether you are following, favoriting, commenting or just reading, I appreciate one and all. A big thank you to my beta, Aimeeloren, who pushes me to strive to be better with each new chapter. And to Steph, with Just4FunVids925, who created the lovely content for me to go by to create this story. **Just a warning as this chapter does contain some strong language**.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this story. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 15 - It's Compromise That Moves Us Along, Yeah:**

When Mary-Margaret and Emma rejoined the men the tension in the room was so thick it would have taken the sharpest blade in the world to cut through it. Killian was off in one corner glaring at Neal who was in conversation with David regarding the latest sports stats.

As they entered, Neal rose from the couch he shared with David to allow Mary-Margaret to sit, which surprised the hell out of Emma. Setting down the cake she brought in, Emma sat across from the couple on the loveseat.

Neal looked over at her and Emma patted the seat next to her. In his stubborn pride, that over the years she had almost grown to expect, he sat in the lone armchair. So, he rejected her in front of everyone, no big deal, it was just a seat, she chided herself as frustration set in.

The rest of the night didn't go much better, though Emma was thrilled that David and Mary-Margaret tried their best to lighten the mood. Both had told funny anecdotes throughout the night about things they experienced at work. Mary-Margaret telling tales of her current and previous year's fourth grade class and David about his recent herding of sheep for vaccines at a local farm. Neal, of course, had to include his two cents, which frustrated Emma to no end, especially when it only proved how inexperienced Neal really was.

Killian remained silent for the most part. There were very few times he remarked on a story that David was telling and it only seemed because David would look at him pointedly for an answer. Neal, however, managed to make a snide comment here and there in regards to Killian, who didn't take the bait, much to Emma's relief.

As sorry as she was to part from Mary-Margaret and David, Emma was never so happy as to see the evening end. She gave both of them hugs before she and Neal departed, making sure to give Mary-Margaret her phone number and address.

Neal had chosen earlier for the two of them to walk the fifteen minutes over to Killian's rather than take the Bug. Neal had assured her it was only due to the fact that they might drink. And drink they had. Emma lost count of how many drinks Neal consumed and the wine at dinner and the couple of glasses of scotch that she drunk were making her feel light headed.

What bothered her the most was Neal was pissed at her and she had yet to figure out why. Emma knew why she was annoyed and upset, as Neal had done nothing but embarrass her and himself all evening long. Lord only knew what he said to Killian and David after she and Mary-Margaret exited to the kitchen.

Emma grabbed his arm and stopped when they were around the corner from their apartment. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

He gave her a look that implicated that she should know why and pulled from her grasp. "Wanna tell me what the hell is going on between you and my _step-father_? Or is it David you're interested in? You flirt so much I can't keep up."

The way Neal spit out the words step-father, a person would believe it was the most derogatory thing to be called ever. "Flirt? I wasn't flirting with anyone."

"Oh, David, you are too funny," Neal mimicked in a sing-song voice, doing a bad imitation of batting his eyelashes. "Killian why don't you sit next to me."

"First off, that joke David told about the cow tipping him over was funny. Secondly, I indicated you should sit next to me on the loveseat, but you declined. It was the only seat left, besides sitting between Mary-Margaret and David. Why should the host be the only one standing? It seemed rude not to ask him."

"Was it rude when his leg brushed against yours repeatedly? Or were you not flirting when you smiled at him for just bringing you a drink?" he accused.

"We were sitting on a loveseat, Neal. Of course there was a chance our legs would brush together." Emma didn't want to admit that she wasn't too upset about it at the time either. "And I smiled to thank him, something that would have been nice if you did." Emma tried to hold back tears as her anger began to rage. Neal had no right to accuse her of any misconduct, at least not for tonight.

"And I guess you were just thanking David too when you hugged him goodbye and whispered in his ear."

Emma hands gripped her waist so she wouldn't use them against Neal. "No, I was saying thanks for coming and that I was thankful that I was able to meet him and Mary-Margaret."

"Who are you? Killian's hostess now? He can thank the man for coming himself."

"You're an asshole, Neal."

"If I'm such an asshole, why don't you take your shit and leave? You've done it before." 

He couldn't be serious. The look on his face indicated he was. Emma wanted nothing more than to punch Neal in the face. She was half tempted to call Ruby so they could each take a turn. Glaring at Neal, Emma turned and walked away.

"Go ahead. Go run to your fucking boyfriend. I'm sure he'd be happy to screw your brains out," Neal called out from behind her.

Emma turned about to storm back and let him have it, but he was already walking away, his hands stuffed tight into his pockets. _Damn it. Now what_? She didn't have any money on her, so she couldn't go to Granny's. And she sure as hell wasn't about to go back to the apartment right now.

Seeing the Bug parked by the corner, Emma reached inside her coat for her keys. She stalked over and climbed in. After she started the car, she realized she had no where to go. Boston was out. She didn't have enough money on her to buy a cup of coffee, let alone a gallon of gas.

Having no idea what to do, Emma drove aimlessly around Storybrooke. Finally, her journey ended in front of Killian's house. Despite the lateness of the evening, Emma got out and shoved the door closed with all her might so she could have the satisfaction of hearing the door slam. In almost near synchronicity, one of the electric transformers nearby showed sparks.

Hearing the loud bang of a car door closing, Killian rose from his desk and stared out of his upstairs office window. He had converted the spare bedroom that Neal and Emma had once used two years ago into his new office space. Killian had never been able to use Milah's study with all the memories it held. Converting that to a storage space, he still had needed an office and chose the room he had because he had been sick of avoiding the bedroom only because Emma and Neal had once used it.

Spotting sparks flying, Killian was amazed that the power was still on. He glanced down at the street and discovered Emma outside pacing near her Bug. She looked ready to kill. Neal had to have done some thing to have pissed her off so badly.

Killian left the room and began to head downstairs. As he reached his foyer, the doorbell rang. Opening his front door, he wasn't surprised to find Emma.

"Can I stay here?" she asked him, her voice held a slight hint of desperation. "Just for tonight."

"Of course." Any lustful thoughts he might have carried in his head regarding Emma fled. This was a woman who needed help and help he would give her. And maybe a shoulder to cry on if she needed it, but given Emma's temperament, she seemed more in the mood to hit something. "Come with me."

He led her up to his room, but instructed her to wait outside. Walking in, he quickly searched out a pair of sweats, a t-shirt and boxers. Grabbing his gym bag inside his closet, he walked back out. "Here."

Killian handed over the extra clothes. "The t-shirt and boxers you can sleep in." Killian brought her over to the room she had last slept in when she had stayed. The very room he had carried her into all those years ago, snuggled tight in his arms. "The sweats, bring them with you."

He ran down the stairs and grabbed a couple of water bottles from the fridge and threw them in his gym bag. They'd need them at the 24-hour gym he planned to drag Emma to. By the time he was back by the front door, Emma was descending the stairs.

"Where are we going?" She asked still clutching the grey sweats, as he instructed.

He gave her a bright smile. "To hit something."

She sighed. "You read my mind."

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Over an hour later, they were both exhausted, but calmer. Emma relaxed into his passenger side seat with her eyes closed, as he drove them back from the gym. For once that night, Killian didn't feel like ripping something apart.

After the evening they had, Killian was half tempted to call into the office tomorrow sick, since it was already after one am. Reaching over, while stopped at one of the lights on main street, Killian brushed back one of Emma's curls. Her eyes opened and she offered him a sleepy smile. "Are we back already?"

"Just a couple of more blocks. Can you stay awake?"

"I think so." Emma straightened in her seat. "Thank you, Killian. For all of this."

"You once told me that you wanted to be friends. I would love for us to be able to do that. If that means dragging you to the gym to let off some steam or letting you stay the night, so be it. I'm in this for the long haul. If that means I have to be your friend first, so be it."

Emma stared at him, amazed by his speech. She was still trying to wrap her head around it when they pulled into his driveway. Following him out of the car, she watched as he opened the door to the house.

No sooner were they inside then she let out a big yawn. "Sorry. Guess I'm more tired than I thought. Do you mind if I head off to bed?"

"No, go ahead." Killian waved up the stairs. "I have to be at work in a few hours, so I'm going to get some shut eye as well."

Killian watched Emma ascend the stairs before he turned back to lock his door. He would have thought that he'd be much more anxious knowing that Emma was once more sharing the same roof, but instead a sense of peace, a sense of all was right in his world finally descended on him. It felt nice.

It was with those thoughts that Killian fell into a dreamless sleep for the first time in years. By morning, even with the shortened amount of sleep, Killian felt much more relaxed and rested.

Grabbing a quick shower and some coffee, he got ready for work. Before he left to head to his office down by the docks, he left his spare key and a note for Emma to stay as long as she needed to. Stepping from his car, once he parked outside the office, Killian breathed in the ocean air. It was the first time in years it didn't bring painful memories. Instead a happy thought of he and Liam on their first outing on the sea came to him. Killian hadn't thought of that in years, but it brought a smile to his face.

"What has you so chipper this morning?" Tink inquired sourly.

"What has you so surly?" Killian countered as they two of them entered the office building.

"Had a run-in with Gold earlier at Granny's. Let's just say he isn't happy that we were awarded the dock restoration project."

Killian looked over at Tink with an expression of pure vehemence. "I'm assuming his words were much less pleasant."

Tink glared at him. "Your assumption would be correct."

"Why is he even concerned at all about the project?'

"From what Granny told me, he had hopes of obtaining some of the property that the project is adjacent to. With the dock being restored, the mayor is claiming that area as a bird sanctuary and not allowing it to go under public auction," Tink informed him as they entered Killian's office. She plunked down gracefully as her agitated self could as he hung up his coat. "You'd think he'd go after the mayor not us."

"You would, but Neal's involved. He has some misguided notion of trying to assert his alpha personality over me in effort to prove himself superior." Killian sat in his chair and turned on his computer.

"That family is demented."

"But powerful. Let's keep that in mind while we work on the dock project. Inform the crew that they need to take extra precautions against theft and sabotage of any sort. After what I heard Neal say at dinner last night, I wouldn't put anything past the two of them."

"Will do." Tink rose, much calmer than she was earlier. "How did dinner go last night? Make any progress with the fair Swan, your elusive princess?"

"No. And I don't really wish to discuss this right now. I have a teleconference in an hour that I have to prepare for."

"Ok, Killian. We'll talk later. Give it time. She'll come around," Tink said with a smile before she left.

He wanted her to do more than just come around. He wanted her to want to stay. Killian wished for things that he hadn't for years and it scared him, because he wasn't sure if Emma's plans for the future matched his.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This chapter is rated M for language and mature content. My younger readers, please take caution when reading this chapter. The last scene can been skipped if you wish to avoid the most mature of scenes contained within. **I want to thank everyone who has been following this story and favoriting it. You are all awesome. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I am. Speaking of awesome, my beta, aimeeloren, is that and more. You guys don't even know all the crap I send her way and she is all like okay, just remind me where I am and I'll do it. No, hang on I need to catch up. No, complaints. Nothing. So, if you decide to leave a review, send her a big thank you as well, because without her this story wouldn't be half of what it is. And don't even get me started on Stephanie…LOL. If she never created the wonderful video that started this all then you wouldn't be reading this at all. So, everyone, go to YouTube, look up Just4FunVids925, and leave her a wonderful shout out about how great she is.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 16 - My Heart Is Full and My Door's Always Open:**

Emma awoke to a strange room, but a familiar song. Reaching out for the nightstand to turn off her phone, she realized it was on the opposite side of the bed. Emma glanced around in confusion, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Grabbing the phone, she turned off the alarm and stretched.

She was at Killian's house. It was the familiar picture of a young Killian that still sat on the dresser that clued her in first. Smiling for the first time in days, Emma rose and padded out the bedroom in search of the bathroom down the hall.

After taking care of her morning ablutions, Emma walked back toward her room. It was then she spotted the open door to the room she once shared with Neal. It now appeared to have been transformed into an office space. A large oak desk dominated the room, filled with two computer monitors and lots of folders and papers.

Emma never meant to snoop, yet she was drawn into the room. Killian's presence was all over it, from his scent to his coat hanging over his office chair. Breathing in Emma could literally smell Killian. Musk, sea and rum. A potent combination. Add to it Killian's good looks and the combination could have been deemed lethal.

She ran her hand over the hard surface of the desk. Emma could picture Killian at this desk long into the night, staring out the window at the stars. As her fingers trailed, a slip of paper floated off the desk's surface. Intent on replacing the errant paper, she picked it up and noticed one word jumping from the page, _Liam_.

Her eyes quickly scanned the page. It was from a private detective who was reporting that he had no more leads in regards to Liam's death, but if Killian insisted, he would maintain his search for the mysterious owner of the shipping company Liam worked for, Mist Haven Shipping Lines. Apparently, the owner had fallen off the grid several years ago, right before Liam's death.

_ Killian's brother had been killed_? And so had Milah. No wonder Killian had seemed so haunted when she had first met him. He had dealt with so much pain in his young life. Emma's heart broke a little for him.

Hearing a clock chime from somewhere in the house, Emma rushed to her bedroom. She didn't have much time to get to class. She'd have to take a shower later and grab a cup of coffee on her tab at the café at the college, even if it was instant.

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Killian walked into his house and dropped his keys and briefcase in his usual spot. Emma was nowhere to be found and her car wasn't in his driveway, nor parked anywhere along his road. He wasn't aware of Emma's class schedule, but five thirty on a Friday night seemed awfully late for class. Unless she was with Neal.

Why that thought had him ready to punch a wall, he wasn't sure. She only asked to stay one night, not forever. Spotting his note still in the kitchen, he was unsure if she even saw it, until he noticed the key he left her was missing. There was a small note from Emma scratched across the bottom, _Call me_. A phone number he was unfamiliar with was also written.

He carried the note upstairs with him and changed out of his work suit, ready to grab a quick shower before he had to dress once more. Turning on his bedside lamp, Killian sat on his bed and reached for the phone. She answered after the second ring. "Emma?"

"Hi, Killian."

"Where are you?"

"Outside Granny's. Why?" He could practically hear her rolling her eyes as she spoke.

"You weren't ho… You weren't here." He hated to sound so concerned but he was.

"I don't live there, Killian," she said with a teasing tone.

"You could." Where the hell were all his suave one-liners now? "I mean, if things don't work out with Neal," he added quickly, kicking himself mentally.

"About that. Could I stay for a few more days?"

"Of course," he said a little too readily for his liking. "No use spending money at Granny's when there's a perfectly good guest room over here."

"Thanks, Killian. I appreciate it." There was a brief pause, and Killian could swear she was getting into her car. "I've got to go. I just saw Neal and I want to run to the apartment while he's gone to grab a few things."

"Sure. No trouble. You still have the key?"

Emma laughed, as he heard her car engine starting. "Yes, though I was in such a rush this morning I almost missed it."

"Great. I have a dinner meeting with Tink and a client, so I won't be here when you get in."

"On a Friday night?" Emma teased. "You sure this isn't just a date and you don't want to tell me?"

"It's not a date, trust me. It was the only time we could schedule or I'd cancel. You don't mind do you?" Killian worried his bottom lip. He would love nothing more than to stay in and curl up on his couch next to Emma, eating Chinese food and watching some horrible chick flick. It sounded so much nicer than his drive to Portland and dinner at some swanky restaurant with a big wig who wanted to redevelop some land into more shops the town he lived in did not need.

"Killian, I was teasing. Do what you need to do. I'm just grateful for you letting me stay there."

"I'll see you later, Emma."

"Bye, Killian."

He held the phone up for a few seconds away from his ear. Emma was coming back. She was coming home, as far as he was concerned. If she never had to deal with Neal, the lying scum, it would be too soon.

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Emma was having the shitiest day of her life, so much had gone wrong she was sure she had to have been cursed and knowing her luck, Neal did it. First, she almost ran out of Killian's house without seeing the note and key he had left for her in case she needed to get back in. Then, she ended up being late for her first class of the day where a pop quiz had been sprung on them. After that, she had still had been reeling from the feeling she'd failed said quiz, Emma realized she'd left her English paper at Killian's. So, she had to rush back and pick it up, leaving her late to class once again.

The only good thing that had happened to her was Killian reading her message and calling to tell her that she could still stay at his house while she dealt with her problems with Neal. Of course, her high from something actually going right didn't last long. Thinking Neal was going to be gone for a while, Emma headed over to the apartment to gather some of her things. When she unlocked the door, she tripped over a box and almost twisted her ankle.

As she rose, Emma discovered there wasn't just one box, but several and they all contained her stuff. Emma walked around and discovered Neal had packed up every thing she owned. Returning to the boxes, she found a letter taped to the small file folder box she kept all her childhood possessions.

_ Emma,_

_ Good luck with your new life. Here's your crap. Hope Killian enjoys your clutter. I'll need the key to the apartment returned, but keep the Bug. You and it aren't worth the trouble._

Her eyes had to be the size of saucers. Neal didn't even bother closing the letter with his name or an initial or anything. Son of a bitch, Neal was such an ass. At least she didn't have to see his sorry ass face right now.

Emma piled the boxes outside the apartment, sad to see her life amounted to one suitcase and five small boxes. At that moment, Emma wished she could afford the membership to Killian's gym, because she'd love nothing more than to hit something. Going back in, she took one last glance around before she pulled a chair over to the vent near the kitchen. Unscrewing the panel, Emma reached inside and pulled out the envelope of money she kept hidden. It wasn't much, just a little over three thousand, but it was a start.

Emma knew she'd have to find some sort of work in the evenings so she could get her own place. For now, she'd ask Killian if she could crash at his place for a little longer. If she hadn't already paid her tuition for the year, she'd pack up and head back to Boston.

Affixing the vent back in place, Emma threw the envelope on the counter, then returned the chair. Taking the money out of the envelope, Emma stuffed it in her pocket and found a pen writing 'Screw you, Neal' across the front of it. Emma walked out the door, locked it, placed the key in the envelope and slid it underneath. Grabbing a box, she knew she was so done with Neal and his bullshit.

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Emma was enjoying a long soak later that night in the guest bathroom tub when she heard a thump. The water had already grown cold, but Emma hadn't been able to convince herself to get out until she heard the noise a second time.

She had gotten a call from Killian earlier telling her he wouldn't be home. He was going to stay at a hotel near Portland, since dinner ran late. Grabbing her towel, Emma exited the tub, wondering what the hell was making that sound, since she should be the only person in the house. Considering her day, a drunk Neal could have broken in just to scare the crap out of her.

Emma ran to her room, the towel flapping around her and quickly dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a tank, forgoing her bra for expediency. She heard the sound again and traced it to Killian's room. If Neal was inside she was going to kill him. Emma reached out for the handle, slowly turning it so she could push the door open.

Her mouth fell open and Emma swore her heart stopped. Killian stood in the middle of his room pulling off his dress shirt. He was turned enough not to see her, but she had an eyeful of him. He had been there long enough that his dress pants had already been unbuttoned, barely hanging on to his hip bones. Killian's shoes and socks discarded.

Emma felt her nipples tighten in response to the images before her. Any woman in her right mind would be turned on by the rippling of his muscles as he moved. He flung his shirt at a chair and ran his hands through his hair. There were quite a few places visible that Emma wouldn't have minded running her own hands across.

She wasn't sure what she did, but his head suddenly turned in her direction and their eyes locked. Instead of backing up like her mind was trying to tell them, her feet traitorously led her inside.

"Emma," he breathed out.

There were so many responses to that, but none of them made it to her lips. Her tongue flicked out to wet the surface of her lips in anticipation of her words, but only a breathy moan escaped. She watched as his own tongue slid out over the side of his lips while his eyes hungrily drank her in.

He stalked over to her and she smelled the liquor on his breath. "Offering to join me for a nightcap, love?"

Emma placed her hand lightly on his chest to stop his advance, though there was nothing she could do to prevent his roving eyes, that seemed to cling tightly to the curve of her breasts above the neckline of her small tank top. "Killian, are you drunk?"

"No," he replied with a shake of his head. "Didn't have one drink until I walked through the door and only then had a finger of rum."

His hand covered hers pressing it tighter to his chest. She could feel his heart beating fast under her palm. "Killian, you know this isn't why I asked to stay here, right?"

The searching look he gave her somewhat reassured her, but it was his words that let her know he meant it. "It's not why I said you could stay, either."

"Why did you let me stay?"

Emma watched his bright blue eyes darken. "Do you really have to ask?"

"But, you just said…"

"And I meant it. However, no matter what, there is still this." Killian yanked her the short distance that separated them until their bodies were flush. His hands rose and he cupped her face. Killian's head lowered and his lips caressed hers until she separated them. Once she had, the kiss turned primal.

Thoughts of Emma in his house haunted Killian all day. To actually have her in his arms was almost incomprehensible. He devoured her mouth like a man drowning in search of air.

He was known for an air of detachment in his relationships. Not one woman had been able to press through the barriers he erected around his heart after Milah's death. No one but Emma, who had stepped right over the bricks as he was learning how to erect the walls.

Need pulsed through him. The desire to own her come over him, but he wasn't that person. He'd always been able to control himself enough to cater to the needs of his partner first. He walked slowly backwards until his back was pressed into the wall. Killian wanted to give Emma every opportunity to change her mind.

Instead he felt her press closer. Her body aligned perfectly with his own. Her hand caressed his chest, running her hand through his hair. Groaning, he felt it slip lower, resting on his hip bone. He had counted on Emma to put distance between them so they could stop this madness. It seemed he'd been wrong in assuming she would.

Turning, he pressed her to the wall, his hips pushing into hers, melding them together. Her hands came up and gripped his head as she now deepened their kiss. He pounded his hands on the wall on either side of her head, as her tongue artfully stroked his. He continued to thrust into her, his erection searching for harbor, his mind cursing the cloth that separated him from his goal.

"Emma," he groaned, as his lips trailed down her neck. "We should stop."

"Make me," she challenged, pushing his pants past his hips. Her hand slipped inside his briefs, her nails biting into his ass.

Killian had two choices. Pick her up and bodily remove her from his room, locking the door behind her or making love to her here against his wall. Neither sounded appealing, thought the latter sounded much more of what his body was craving. Emma deserved so much better than a quicky standing in the small hall separating his bedroom and bath. And he refused to be the guy offering her a quick round of rebound sex.

Reaching for her hips, he lifted her. Emma's legs wrapped around his waist, making him question every decision he had ever made in his quest for good form, as her body slid tantalizingly across his erection. Closing his eyes, he was about to curse good form to hell.

Yet, his decision was best for both of them. Emma would regret the fact that she made love to him come morning, putting Killian right in the arsehole box along with Neal. A place that he'd rather not reside.

Killian walked out of his bedroom door and down the hall to her room, their lips rarely separating. Kicking open her door with his toes, he walked inside, grateful she had left it unlatched. Approaching her bed, he untangled her arms from around his neck.

Her legs slipped from around him and she laid back. Killian noticed her green eyes were hazed by desire and he had no doubt his own looked pretty damn similar. He leaned down and pecked her cheek, careful to avoid her arms that were trying to pull him back.

"Killian?" The confusion in her eyes almost drug him back more effectively than her arms.

He shook his head as he took a step back from the bed. "No. I'm sorry, Emma. I'm in this for the long haul, not just for one night. You'll regret this and me come morning and I refuse to accept that."

"But…"

"Goodnight, Emma."

Killian backed out of the room. As he closed her door behind him, he heard her say, "Like I'm going to be able to sleep anytime soon."

A smile spread across his face, while his thumb ran across his lips savoring the taste of Emma upon his own lips. He turned toward his room and the coldest shower his water could give him. "Neither will I, love."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **I just wanted to send a big shout out to everyone. You have all been great. And another huge thanks to my beta, aimeeloren, and to Stephanie with Just4FunVids925, who created the video that started this all. If you haven't seen Stephanie's newest video, Blue Eyes Green Eyes, go check it out now.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 17 - You Can Come Anytime You Want, Yeah:**

Emma slowly made her way downstairs the next day. After Killian put her to bed last night, she was reluctant to see him. Her mind raced all through the night, playing over and over again what happened, barely letting her catch any sleep until the wee hours of morning.

She made her way into the kitchen, grateful that she had yet to run into Killian. _What would she say to him_? _Hey, sorry I threw myself at you, but thanks for rejecting me when I was so vulnerable_? That was a great lead-in for a horrible conversation.

Emma put some water on to heat for her cocoa, when she spotted a piece of paper on the kitchen table. Killian had written to let her know he was out for a run and he'd be back in time for lunch. Emma was amused by the novelty of the note. Neal could barely leave word that he was heading out of town and Killian made sure to tell her he was out only for a quick jog. Mary-Margaret's words came back to Emma. Killian and Neal were vastly different. If the note didn't show her that then what happened last night surely had.

Neal wouldn't have cared how vulnerable she was. He would have taken advantage of the situation to have sex with her. He'd done it before, when she had been so upset about a stray cat she had befriended had been run over. Neal had started out rubbing her back, letting her cry on his chest. Then he had reassured her it would be okay with small kisses and a glass of wine. Next thing she knew his tongue had been down her throat and he carried her to their room. The next morning, Emma had still been sad over the loss of the cat, but Neal just shrugged and told her she needed to get over the loss as it was only a stray cat and there were hundreds of them running around Boston.

Picturing Killian in place of Neal in the same scenario, Emma knew would have resulted in a whole different outcome. And not one that would have made her feel used.

The doorbell rang, making Emma jump. She figured it was Killian so she didn't rush to the door. By the second chime, Emma realized it must be someone else. She hurried over and unlocked the door. A petite blonde stood there dressed casually in a pair of stylish jeans and a long sleeve green blouse. The woman smiled at Emma as if she just discovered presents under the tree on Christmas morning.

Her hand stretched out. "Hi. I'm Tink. I work with Killian."

Emma shook her hand. "I'm Emma."

"I know. Killian's mentioned you a few times, or twenty. May I come in?"

"Sure." Emma waved the woman inside. "Killian's not here. He went out for a run."

Tink checked her watch. "He's running late. He's usually back by now. That man is anything if not punctual."

Emma led her into the living room and sat down on the loveseat after Tink went to sit in the arm chair. "I guess you've known him for a quite a while." 

Tink smiled again. "Since college. I actually graduated a year after him, but we had a CAD class together his senior year. When he opened his engineering firm a couple of years ago, I had just graduated and approached him for a job. Instead I was asked if I wanted to be a partner. I was so flattered, I accepted immediately."

Tink rummaged around in the small purse she had with her. "Here." She handed Emma a white business card. "My mother made these for me as a joke. The funny thing is I actually use them."

Emma examined the heavy stock card. _"Tink" R. Bell. Architect_. Emma laughed. "Tinkerbell? Really?"

"I blame Leroy. We went to school together. When we were in high school, he was involved with my friend, Astrid. He decided it would be funny and it stuck."

Emma looked back at the card. "What does the 'R' stand for?"

"Rose. Actually, Rosalind, but until the Tink nickname, everyone called me Rose." Tink shrugged. "Now if people call me Rose I forget they are talking to me."

A moment of awkward silence fell over the both of them. All that could be heard in the room was the ticking of the grandfather clock out in the hall.

"So, are you staying with Killian?"

Emma handed Tink back her card. "For now."

"He's a good guy," Tink told Emma as she placed the business card back in her purse. "I'm so grateful to call him a friend, especially after last night."

"Last night?" Emma glanced over at the other blonde. "What happened last night? I thought you had a business dinner."

Tink fiddled with her hands. "We did. And everything was going really well. The client even signed the contract before the dinner was over."

Emma realized Tink sounded nervous. "If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to." 

"No, it's okay," Tink reassured her with a watery smile. "Killian left shortly after the contract was signed. We took separate cars, but I wanted to stay, so Killian decided we should stay at the hotel we were eating at for the night. I didn't know that you were here, or else I might have convinced him to come home. Anyway, he said it was fine and checked us in for two rooms."

"But, Killian was here last night." Emma paused and thought about it. "He did call me earlier saying he was going to stay. I was actually surprised when I found him home."

"That's as I said my fault. Well, no, actually it is only partially my fault. Fault lays with Jefferson as well." 

"Who's Jefferson?"

"The client we were meeting. I wasn't ready to go to an empty hotel room, so I decided to hang around and have some champagne with Jefferson. He was really nice and charming. I only had a few sips and decided I should go to the restroom and freshen up. We have rules at the office about not fraternizing with the clients, but I was about to break that rule. As we only just signed the contract and hadn't submitted it to our lawyers yet I thought that it might be frowned on but not something to get me fired."

Tink played with the strings of her purse, refusing to meet Emma's eyes. "While I was in there, I began to feel dizzy and disoriented. I realized Jefferson must have spiked my champagne. I freaked out. Immediately, I called Killian. I never saw him so pissed in my life. He checked us back out of the hotel and walked straight into the ladies room, where I was practically passed out. He carried me out to his car and drove me home. Even in my incapacitated state, I could tell how much he wanted to kill Jefferson. Then, to make matters worse, I actually threw myself at him. He brought me home, tucked me in bed and left, despite my efforts otherwise."

"You… You and…" Emma couldn't get out what she wanted to say, her mind was on overload.

Tink shook her head. "No. Well, we were, but not since you came back," Tink hastily added. "In all honesty, I don't think his heart was ever in our relationship. He always had someone else on his mind."

Emma nodded in understanding. "Milah."

"You." The male voice had both women turning to the doorway.

They two jumped up, mirroring guilty looks on their faces. Killian strolled into the room, wiping his brow with a small white towel wrapped around his neck. Emma drank in his appearance. His hair was tousled and wet. He had a slight bit of scruff outlining his face. Killian's white t-shirt was sweat soaked and Emma could see every contour of his chest as it plastered itself to him. The grey sweat shorts he wore cut off at the knees allowing Emma her first real glimpse of his powerful legs. She swallowed hard at the mental images of her body wrapped around his.

"Sorry, I'm late. I forgot about picking up your car, Tink. Give me five minutes to jump in the shower and we'll head out."

Tink smiled at him gratefully. "Great. I'll need it for tonight. I have a date."

Killian raised an eyebrow and stared at her for the first time since he entered the room. "You do?"

Tink nodded. "Peter and I meet up once a month. I'm pretty sure he's going to tell me he's heading out of town. I've heard rumors that he's taking that grunge band he manages on the road."

"Good for him." Killian turned back to Emma. "We need to talk, but I promised Tink."

"Go ahead." Emma waved a hand to brush off his worries. She wasn't quite sure if she was ready to have that conversation right now anyway, especially after his 'you' comment that landed so heavily on her heart. "I'll be fine. I'm the one who's interfering in your life, not the other way around."

He walked closer to her, skirting the coffee table. Their bodies were barely inches from each other when his hand pushed back a strand of her hair behind her shoulder. He gave her a smile that had her toes curling. "I don't mind. Interfere away. I could use the excitement."

Emma would have sworn he wanted to kiss her. She was pretty sure she wanted him to, but at the same time Tink was standing there.

A finger snapped and both of them turned to Tink. "Hate to interrupt, but in this world we are slaves to time, so tick tock."

Killian laughed and turned to go. "Be back before dinner, I promise."

He no sooner left the room, when Tink turned to Emma with a wicked smile. "Who in this room isn't picturing Killian naked in the shower, raise your hand."

Both women busted out laughing as neither one of them even raised a finger.

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Killian pulled into his driveway later in the afternoon, an hour earlier than he originally thought. He ran his hand over his face and realized he hadn't had the chance to shave that morning. Turning off the car, he sat there. His mind played over dozens of scenarios of his conversation with Emma about the night before and so far none of them sounded right. He either felt like he revealed too much of his feelings or not enough.

The last thing he wanted to do was scare Emma. He could read her like a book, because she was so much like him. They both erected strong walls around themselves so that people wouldn't have a chance to hurt them. They had both experienced loss and pain. They both knew what it was like to be alone and to feel unloved and unlovable.

His front door opened and Emma stepped outside. She waved to him as she stood on his small front porch. This is what he imagined when he used to picture home as a boy. A woman who he loved standing there waiting for him, a smile on her face as if he was the only person in the world who mattered.

Killian took in Emma's appearance. She was dressed casually in a scoop neck blue t-shirt and a white skirt with a flowered hem. He noticed her feet were bare and curled up against the cold surface of his concrete steps. The days may have still been warm, but as the sun set, the cold fall air crept in.

Stepping from his car, he pulled off the sweatshirt he had been wearing. Seeing Emma standing there warmed up his blood enough without the added layer of clothing. He walked over to her and wrapped the soft cotton around her shoulders. She seemed to snuggle into the fabric enjoying what was left of his body heat. It was one of the most erotic sights he had seen in a long time.

"Tink get her car okay?"

Killian nodded and guided her inside. "Followed her straight home, much to her consternation, but she'll get over it."

He walked straight to the kitchen, pouring himself a large glass of water once he was there. Killian watched Emma over the rim of his glass as he drank. She seemed as nervous and anxious about their upcoming conversation as he was. "So, what did you do today?"

Emma's gaze met his and she shrugged. "Unpacked a little and watched some television. I wish it was Sunday so I could have at least seen the classifieds. I need to look for some part-time work and my own place."

"What's wrong with the guest room?" Killian realized he was showing his emotions when he set the glass down a little harder than he planned, making Emma start.

"You don't want me to stay in your guest room forever."

"No, not in the guest room," he agreed as he took a step closer to her.

Emma looked ready to run. Killian abruptly stopped walking. "You can stay as long as you want. If you do leave, you can come back as much as you need. You're welcome here whenever."

"Until you get married and have kids, then I'll just be a friendly burden."

He cocked his head and gave her a sideways glance. "I did the marriage thing. It didn't take."

"Don't tell me you'll never get married again. I won't believe you."

Killian once again advanced. His hand pushed some of her hair behind her shoulder. "I'm not saying never, but not until I find the right person."

She gave him an assessing look. "You haven't found her yet?"

A cocky grin covered his features and his eyes lit up from within. "I'm not ruling anyone out just yet, Swan. Are you applying for the position?"

"I don't know if I would qualify," Emma said with a self-deprecating air. "I can't even cook a decent meal. You heard Neal the other night."

Killian pinched her chin with his finger and thumb. "I'm fine with eating out."

"I'm not the cleanest person in the world, but at the same time, I don't have much."

"I can hire a maid." He pushed forward until there was but a hairsbreadth between them.

"I'm clumsy…"

"Shut up," he interrupted her gently. "You'd be perfect."

Killian's mouth closed over hers. His hand slid up from her chin and into her hair. His tongue licked the fold of her lips until she allowed him entrance. Her arms entwined around his shoulders as she drew closer to him. Their tongues thrust and parried in a battle of wills each was determined to win.

Breathless and panting for air they broke apart. Killian cupped her face. "Let's give this time. I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled up at him. "Then neither am I."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **Each and every one of you have been amazing. No amount of thanks covers how I feel about all of you. I appreciate every review as well, as they give me great insight of what you the readers are thinking about my story. A humongous thank you to my beta, aimeeloren, without her this story would not be the great success that it is. And an even bigger thank you to Stephanie with Just4FunVids925 who let me use her video to create this amazing story. Hugs to both of you ladies. You have been the greatest support, the greatest friends and the best pick me ups a woman could ever have.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 18 - I Don't Mind Spending Everyday:**

Emma and Killian's lives fell into an easy routine. She attended classes during the day and worked a few hours each afternoon down at the Sheriff's Office, handling the filing and paperwork. Killian came home from work each night and either brought or cooked dinner for the two of them. Occasionally, Tink or David and Mary-Margaret would join them, but for the most part it was the two of them. They weren't exactly dating, more like roommates and friends, but it worked for them.

When the weather held, Killian insisted on taking Emma out on his boat during the weekends. Emma loved those time the most. No distractions. No one else. Just the two of them out on the open water, alone.

She quickly realized how much Killian held back from the world. On the open sea, he'd come alive. He would relax and smile, not the flirtatious and cocky smiles he was known to pass out like candy on Halloween, but a real deep smile as if life could no longer hurt him. Emma almost wished for a place like that, a place where she could just be herself. However, Emma had realized she didn't need a place, she had Killian. With him she could be herself, not fearing any backlash from her past.

Unfortunately, her past always had a way of catching up to her. Cold had deeply set into the Maine countryside and Christmas break was fast approaching when Emma heard about Neal. The mention of his name alone almost destroyed the peaceful bliss of normalcy she had been enjoying.

Emma sat in Granny's and was having dinner with Mary-Margaret when an older couple of gentlemen next to them mentioned Neal's name. David was helping winterize Killian's boat down at the docks, so they had yet to join the two of them.

"Did you hear that Mr. Gold's son, Neal, headed back to Boston yesterday?"

"No. Whatever happened to that girl he was dating?"

"Which one?" the other man asked with a cackle and soon his friend joined in.

Emma glared over at them. It was bad enough hearing about Neal, but did she really have to hear that he had moved on so soon to someone else?

Mary-Margaret patted her arm. "It's just small town gossip. Forget all about them and Neal. He's not worth it."

"I know, but…"

"It hurts."

Emma nodded. "I care about Killian and I am so grateful for all he's done for me, but Neal, he'll always be my first love and I just can't forget about him. In a small way, I'll always love Neal."

Emma looked up from her hands and realized Mary-Margaret was staring over her shoulder. Glancing back, Emma saw Killian standing there with David. Killian's jaw was ticking in agitation and his hands were balled up into fists, his eyes boring straight into her.

"Killian, I…" Emma began to rise from the booth, but Killian turned and exited the door. Emma looked between David and Mary-Margaret. "I… I have to go."

Emma raced out of Granny's, but Killian was no where to be found. She had driven over in Mary-Margaret's car, so she didn't have the Bug and David had gone in Killian's car, so more than likely Killian was driving his car home, since it was not visible on the street. If she was lucky he was heading home, but since he was driving he could have gone anywhere. Pulling her jacket tight against the cold, Emma began to walk to Killian's house, grateful for the time to think.

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_ I'll always love Neal_.

Emma's words pounded through Killian's head. After all this time, he'd hoped that Neal was becoming a passing memory, but those hopes were dashed by Emma's words. Words she never expected him to hear.

He drove aimlessly through town. One hand rubbed his chest in an attempt to ease the pain in his heart. Tink had warned him. She'd said that Emma would be the one capable of destroying him and she wasn't wrong. Slamming his brakes, he pulled off at the next turn. It led straight to the forest, a place he avoided, preferring the openness of the sea.

A few minutes later, Killian pulled up in front of one of the most unique houses in Storybrooke. Tink called it home. Everyone else called it the Tree House. Tink had created a wonderful design for her one-of-a-kind abode. Set between two trees that looked as if they supported the whole foundation, round circular stairs rose from the ground leading up one of the trees to the porch.

The room that was on ground level under the actual structure of the house was all glass. Tink loved her sunroom where she tinkered with all the mechanical mechanisms that she denied playing with to most people. It was her love of those machines that let Leroy to give her the nickname that had become the name she was most associated with.

Walking up her stairs, Killian knocked on the door. Looking down at his car, he was still amazed each time he visited at just how high up he was. If it was the open sea instead of lush forest before him, Killian could have convinced himself that he was standing in a crow's nest of a brig, ready to conquer the high seas.

Lost in his musings, he didn't realize the door opened until Tink spoke. "Killian?"

He turned to face her. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." She waved him inside.

Entering, Killian looked around. It had been months since he had last been to Tink's place. Not since Emma had reappeared in his life. He walked into the living room and sat down on her small black leather couch, lacing his hands together in front of him as he rested his arms on his knees.

"How's Emma?" Tink asked as she sat across from him. "I haven't seen her for a couple of weeks."

Killian let out a short snort-like laugh. "She's fine. Last I saw she was gossiping with Mary-Margaret all about how she'll always love Neal."

Tink reached across and placed her small hand on one of his knees. "I'm so sorry. I'm really surprised though. Are you sure you heard her correctly?"

Killian brushed off her hand and her concern as he rose. "Hard to actually misconstrue those exact words. 'I'll always love Neal.'"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I walked out of Granny's."

"And she was talking to Mary-Margaret when she said this? What else did she say?"

Killian nodded and stared down at Tink. "Who cares what else she said. Wasn't that enough?"

Tink stood and faced him, hands on her hips. Despite the inches that separated her height from his, she could be an imposing figure. "So, you don't know what the actual conversation was about. I'm ashamed of you, Killian Jones. Running away like a dog with his tail between his legs."

She stepped over to him and poked him in the chest with a well manicured finger. "I say I love you all the time, because I do. However, I'm not in love with you. I will always be close to Peter because he's my first love and a certain part of my heart will always be reserved for him. Did you ever think Emma is the same? That Neal, someone she's lived with and loved for years, would just disappear form her heart because you will it so? C'mon, Killian, you are so much smarter than that."

Tink stormed over to her kitchen and pulled open a couple of cabinets, removing some glasses and a bottle of scotch. He watched her pour a liberal amount in each glass before she returned and handed one to him. "Emma will never replace Milah, like you will never replace Neal. The sooner you come to terms with that the happier you'll be."

Killian and Tink clinked glasses and each began to drink. Tink just sipped hers as Killian threw his back with a couple of deep swallows. The aged liquor burned in his belly reminding him he hadn't eaten since breakfast. Tink was right, he needed to talk to Emma.

Taking a deep breath, Killian set his shoulders and handed his now empty tumbler to Tink. "I think I need to go."

Tink nodded and followed him to the door. She no sooner closed it behind his retreating back than her phone rang. She set the glasses on the entryway table and rushed to her phone. "Hello."

"Tink. It's Emma." Tink noticed that Emma's voice sounded worried and if she wasn't mistaken held tears.

"He was here. He's on his way home," Tink reassured her.

"Thank you. He wasn't answering his phone and when I got back he wasn't home."

"Don't worry about him. He's a survivor. One that is heading back to you."

"Thank you, Tink."

"Emma?"

"Yes?"

"He heard you say that you love Neal."

"I know." Emma sounded so sad that Tink felt bad for the younger woman.

"Do you love him? Killian. Do you love him?"

There was silence on the other end. Tink knew she didn't have any right to ask, but she had to know if she was bound to pick up the remnants of Killian's heart for the rest of his life.

"Yes."

"My advice, in case you're interested, show him he means more to you than Neal ever will. Better yet, tell him."

"I don't know if I can."

Tink sighed and leaned against her wall. "Then you might lose him. Which is worse?"

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Emma still had Tink's question running through her head even after she hung up and called David to tell him that Killian had been found and was on his way home. It still haunted her even after she heard the front door open and close.

She sat there nervously at his kitchen table, a cup of cocoa warming her hands. Emma wasn't sure if she should follow him when she heard Killian go upstairs. Instead she remained tying to calm her racing heart with a long sip of the hot liquid.

Emma finished her drink and began to rinse out her cup when she heard his footsteps on the tile floor. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath silently before she turned to face him.

He looked exhausted, his eyes showing the redness of tears held back. He'd cried over what happened and Emma's heart broke. She never meant to hurt him with her words any more than she could take them back. Emma refused to lie to him and deny what she had said, but she had no idea how to stop his pain anymore than she knew how to put an end to her own.

"Do you still love Neal?"

Killian cut to the heart of the matter with his question. He had to know. If he and Emma had any chance at all he needed to know where he stood. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and waited.

She looked away from him and his heart sank lower in his chest when she gave her answer. "Yes."

He turned from her to head for the fridge. He was starving and he couldn't go any further with this conversation on an empty stomach. Emma's hand on his arm stopped him.

"But not the way you think."

He turned so quickly to face her she whirled slightly herself, her hand still on his arm. He steadied her with his hands. "And what way is that?"

"The way I love him or the way you think?"

"Yes."

Emma let out a small snort of laughter even though he was dead serious. She led him back to the table and sat down in a chair indicating he should do the same. When he complied, she reached for his hands and entwined hers within his. Killian stared down at their hands before he lifted his head to look at her. She squeezed his palms.

"What I told Mary-Margaret was that I'll always love Neal." He began to pull at her hands but she refused to let go. "Because he was my first love. My first relationship. I had a real shitty childhood. I was transferred form one place to another and a lot of times I ran away. It's what I did. When Neal came into my life, I finally discovered I didn't want to keep running. For that I'll be forever grateful. He helped me grow up. Maybe it wasn't the best way to do it. And, trust me, I know he wasn't always the best boyfriend, but he was there or at least the presence of him was always there. It made me feel safe.

"Now I know I can feel safe without Neal, but that doesn't mean that I suddenly stopped caring about him. But while I will always love Neal, I'm not in love with him. There's this other guy." Emma watched Killian wince at her words and inwardly sighed. "He spends every day with me. He doesn't just disappear whenever he feels like it. He has this funny thing about leaving me notes if he even steps out of the house for a quick run."

This time when Killian tried to untangle their fingers she let him. He cupped her cheek and Emma smiled at him. His head lowered and captured her lips. Killian rose and tugged her up to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her tighter.

It felt so right to be in Killian's arms. In all her life she never felt the call of home, but here, now in Killian's embrace, she finally heard her heart sing out that it found peace, comfort and, best of all, home.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **Thank you to all the people who have made this story what it is, Aimeeloren and Steph with Just4FunVids925, and to all the people who have decided to follow and favorite.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of OUAT.

**Chapter 19 - Out On Your Corner In The Pouring Rain:**

Emma had promised Ruby over a month ago that she'd come down to Boston for Christmas. Now, she didn't want to go. Killian seemed fine with the whole idea of her spending the holidays with friends, but she felt guilty leaving him alone, he was her friend as much as Ruby and Graham were and Emma knew he'd just end up spending it alone. No one should be alone for Christmas and Killian was no exception.

She had even suggested that he come with her. Killian had refused saying she needed some time to herself to spend with the friends she hadn't seen in months, which made Emma sad that she couldn't introduce Killian to Ruby after all they talked about him. However, Emma was excited to finally spend time with Ruby and Graham, just not at the expense of missing Killian.

His project at the docks had become problematic. First a large snowfall the week before set them back, which was to be expected in December in Maine, but after the crew returned to work they discovered several pieces of equipment had gone missing despite being locked down.

Killian was determined to stay close to home in case any other problems arose during the holiday, while the crew was gone. Emma assured him she could stay and visit Ruby later, but he'd kissed her on her forehead and told her to have fun.

So, Christmas Eve, Emma was traveling like so many others, navigating congested roads. At least the day was warm enough that the wintry road conditions were kept to a minimum. She hoped Killian would discover the present she left for him hidden under the Christmas tree. It wasn't much, but she had a feeling he'd enjoy the old sextant she had discovered at Gold's shop. Not wanting to deal with Neal's father, Emma had begged Mary-Margaret to purchase it for her. It had cost more than she had planned to spend, but Killian was worth every penny. Inside the Bug, she had presents for Ruby and Graham, as well. Ruby was getting a beautiful cashmere scarf that Killian saw Emma eyeing for her friend. Emma didn't have enough to purchase it and Killian insisted on paying the difference. For Graham, Emma had purchased a pair of leather gloves. She wouldn't have been able to purchase even these few presents if Killian hadn't let her remain at his house instead of worrying about paying rent and utilities somewhere else.

Finally, Emma pulled up in front of Ruby's apartment. Graham's off-duty vehicle was in the guest spot next to where Emma parked. Pulling her leather coat tight around her to avoid the cold wind, Emma stepped from the car and began to gather her luggage.

"Emma!"

An excited Ruby plowed into Emma hugging her for all she was worth. Emma dropped her bags and hugged her friend back. "I missed you, Ruby."

Ruby pulled back and gave her a wide smile. "I don't believe you for a minute. Not with you living with that hunk of man that you keep hidden up in Maine."

Emma picked up her bags, handing one to Ruby. "I don't keep him hidden. He couldn't come because of problems at work. Plus, we are just friends."

"Uh-huh." Ruby bumped her shoulder into Emma's. "Just friends, huh? You probably just don't want the competition."

Emma laughed as they walked toward Ruby's apartment. "If you only knew. Women flock to him like bees to honey."

"Must make you pretty jealous, huh?"

Emma walked silently next to Ruby and contemplated that question. "Actually, no, I'm not. Mainly because we are just friends, but also because I know if he isn't working, or out exercising, he's at home, with me."

"Friends. Whatever. Keep telling yourself that. I know I wouldn't let that one go for the world, Emma."

Emma smiled softly, wishing she did have any claim on Killian Jones. "I know."

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Killian couldn't believe he was spending Christmas Eve at The Rabbit Hole. A bottle of Top Shelf rum, Gosling's Gold, before him, as he sipped from his glass.

"Mind if I join you?"

Killian turned and discovered Neal standing at his elbow. Neal's hair was askew, his shirt pulled from his jeans that looked as if he had slept in them, and a drink in his hand. Killian suspected that it wasn't Neal's first either.

"So, you and Emma, huh?" Neal asked as he sat next to Killian at the bar. "You apparently enjoy my family's castoffs."

Killian's hand clenched around his glass. He noticed the bartender nod toward the door, apparently noticing Killian's agitation at Neal's words, indicating that any fights should be taken outside. Instead, Killian put on a grin that he reserved for his most sarcastic of comments. Taking a drink, he tossed out to Neal, "As bad as you and your father are, I must admit you have excellent taste in women. And said women, apparently find me a much better option."

"Should my dad worry that you'll soon set your sights on Belle?"

"I have no interest in the little bookworm. Emma is quite enough, which you may have noticed if you spent any time with her."

Neal laughed and finished his drink, grabbing for Killian's bottle to slosh some more liquor into his glass. "Emma? That woman wouldn't know how to please a man if she tried. Have her one time and you know what to expect every other time. I'm sure you know what I mean by now. Good thing I found Tamara when we last visited. I convinced her to follow us to Boston. If she hadn't, I would have gone crazy long before now."

Killian was about to haul Neal off his stool and out the door to knock a few of his teeth loose when a particular part of Neal's statement hit him. _Tamara_? There couldn't be that many women that had that name, could there? "You're sleeping with your mother's personal assistant, Tamara?"

Neal nodded with a grin and clinked his glass against Killian's. "One and the same. Now you want to talk about hot little numbers between the sheets, she's the one to call. Or did you discover that already?"

"I was married to your mother, mate," Killian ground out between his teeth.

"Wouldn't have stopped me, but, hey, I'm not a righteous prick like you."

Killian had had enough. He had to get out of there before he murdered Neal with his bare hands and he knew that wouldn't go over well with Emma. Luckily, Killian had already paid for his ridiculously expensive bottle of rum. Killian grabbed it by the neck and with one last glare at Neal walked out of the bar.

Once outside, Killian shrugged into his leather coat and stared at his car. He hadn't drank more than half a glass of rum, but he held an open bottle in his hand. He couldn't drive in good conscious. Cursing himself for a fool for letting Neal get to him, Killian headed off toward his house.

It had snowed in the last week, but tonight seemed unseasonably warm. Puddles were everywhere from the melting snow. He could hear Mary-Margaret lamenting in his head about not having a white Christmas.

What Killian wanted right now, more than anything else, was to go home and curl up on the couch with Emma, watching Christmas movies and eating popcorn with all the lights off save for the tree she had helped him decorate. It was the first tree he had since Milah passed away and only about the twelfth he'd ever had. His father had never really been big on the whole Christmas thing.

He missed Emma. She'd only been gone a few hours, no different from the hours he spent at work, but he felt the loss the moment he saw her walk out the door, luggage in hand. Emma was only going to be gone a week. She promised to come back New Year's Eve so they could ring in the new year together. Killian had insisted she stay until New Year's Day only because he didn't want her out on the road with so many drunk drivers. After his insistence, she finally agreed, despite the disappointment on her face. It was better she was upset than him having to see the gruesome pictures of another car wreck involving someone he loved.

Killian, finally, reached his house a half hour after he left the bar. It felt wonderful to be inside out of the cold. Despite the warm weather, it was still winter in Maine and the cold wind could cut you in two.

Stripping off his coat and hanging it up, he headed for the kitchen and found a spare cork for his bottle of rum, that he no longer had a thirst for. Returning to his living room he flicked on the tree lights. He stood there, leaning against the door jamb, and stared in wonder at the twinkling lights.

He needed to hear Emma's voice. Going to his phone he dialed the number he had already memorized. Ruby's phone rang and rang, but there was no answer. Disappointed, Killian hung up and sat on his couch. Killian wished she still had a cell phone. She had returned her old one to Neal after their breakup and even though Killian had insisted that he would get her one, Emma had refused, saying she needed to pay for some things herself. He leaned his head back and ran a hand over his face. He needed to snap out of this funk.

Killian's phone ran and he jumped up to answer it, hoping it was Emma. Instead it was William Smee, one of his foremen. Some of the guys were meeting down at The Rabbit Hole. Killian almost laughed and turned them down without a second thought. Neal had to be long gone by now or Smee wouldn't have suggested Killian show up. Everyone in the office knew of his standing feud with Neal ever since Tink had given the crew warnings that Gold and his son might cause problems on any work done on the dock restoration. So, Killian agreed.

He ran upstairs and grabbed some clothes, as his were still somewhat damp from his trek home. Killian called a cab and dressed in the black dress shirt and jeans he had pulled from his closet. He left the top few button loose in effort to look relaxed and tucked in his shirt. Killian had locked up and was outside when the cab arrived. When Killian returned to the bar and proceeded inside, he spotted Smee, who had the biggest grin on his face. Killian surmised the foreman had to already be into his cups.

"Killian," Smee called from the table he presided over with a bunch of other guys who worked for Killian. "You're here."

Looking around, Killian saw a couple of the guys turn and greet him from the large table they had claimed for their own. He nodded in acknowledgement. Killian took a seat and the mug of ale that was offered to him.

"So," Smee began, "We have heard a rumor that Emma left you for the holidays. And while we know the two of you aren't an item, it had to be putting a kink into your love life."

"Yeah, it's been forever since we seen you with a woman," a man chimed in from down the table.

Killian shook his head and took a drink. He didn't need a woman. He just wanted Emma back even if that meant her living under his roof as a friend.

"The guys and I were talking," Smee continued conspiratorially, "and we realized that you need to get out and relax. Be yourself again."

A few rousing 'Here, here's' were called out, as beers were lifted in the air in salute.

"Anyway," Smee said, as he set a glass of rum in front of Killian. "We found out that Mike over there," a dark haired man at the end of the table raised his beer, "had a cousin who has had the hots for you for some time now. When she spotted you down by the docks with us the other day, she said something to Mike, who told us. So, we thought we'd introduce you."

Killian looked up to see a skinny dark haired woman approaching their table. Her long skirt and peasant blouse should have made her look like a hippy, but it didn't. However, her nor her outfit did anything for his libido either. Reaching out, he grabbed the glass of rum and slammed it down his throat, wincing at the hardened edge of the cheap liquor. Shaking his head as the strong liquid burned through him, Killian opened his watery eyes and saw the woman smiling in front of him.

"Hi," she drew out in a sultry voice. Once of her hands came up and ran through his hair. When Emma had done the same gesture just that morning, before she left, he had clenched his fists to keep from dragging her into his arms and begging her not to go. Yet, now, under this woman's sensual ministrations, he was left feeling empty.

Reaching for his beer, he put on a cocky grin he didn't feel and stood. "Well, gentlemen, it appears you'll be sitting here with your ugly mugs buried in drink, while I will enjoy getting to know this lovely lass."

Killian looped his arm around the brunette with an accompanying leer and waggle of his eyebrows. She shuffled him out of the bar. Once they were outside, Killian became stone cold sober, despite the drinks he consumed. The chill wind, despite the warm air, cleared out his head immediately. The woman, who's name he had yet to learn, was pressing a kiss to the side of his throat, as her hand slipped inside his shirt caressing his chest. Damn it, he still felt nothing, not even a twitch of desire.

"Stop," Killian said softly. Then when her roaming hands refused to stop, he guided the two of them to a secluded corner outside the bar and gritted out, "Lass, you need let go."

Her startled eyes met his, but her hands and lips she thankfully removed from his person. "I thought…"

Killian closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face. Setting the beer he realized he was still holding down on the ground, he grabbed the woman's shoulder. "Look, I'm sorry. The guys might have given you the wrong impression."

"They said," she said with a sniff, "that you liked me."

"You're a pretty enough lass, but I'm already involved in a complicated relationship." He almost groaned when he saw a tear slip from her eye. "I'm sorry."

He let go of her and was about to turn when he saw a spark of fire light up her brown eyes. Killian braced himself, but the slap never came.

"Don't come near me again, Killian Jones." With that she turned and stormed off.

"Wouldn't dream of it, lass," he called out, but she was already gone.

Walking to his car, Killian wanted nothing more than a good night's sleep. Instead, he found himself on the road that led out of town. Catching the highway, Killian drove all the way to Boston. Arriving outside the apartment Emma had left the address for, Killian parked next to Emma's yellow Bug.

It was past midnight, and he was pretty sure that she and her friend had to be back from wherever it was they had gone. Killian got out and leaned against his car. He wasn't sure exactly which window was Ruby's apartment, but from the apartment number he guessed it was one of the ones on the upper floor.

Two apartments were still lit up. He half wondered if one of those were Ruby's. Killian saw a woman look out one of the windows, then a second appeared. Killian was pretty sure the second woman was Emma. If it was she was bound to come out and give him an earful.

He watched for a moment, but then resolved that it would be best if he left. He searched his pockets for his keys, as there wasn't any logical reason for being there. Finding them, he unlocked his car door. Before he could open it, a hand reached around and held it closed. A delicate, fine-boned hand that he knew all too well.

"What are you doing here, Killian?"

He shrugged. He couldn't articulate an answer if he wanted to. Killian just stared at the beautiful cream skinned hand before him. He watched as it rose and drew in a breath as it touched the bare skin of his chest above his shirt.

Her fingers tangled in his chest above his shirt briefly before they stilled. His own hand came up and covered it, sliding it slightly so it would cover the area of his heart beating a rapid staccato.

"Killian," he heard her moan. He felt her body press close to his right side, in order to relieve the pressure of her stretched arm.

God, she felt so good. He wished he could just wrap her in his arms and stay there forever. Instead, he turned his body so that he was facing her, not letting go of her hand. Her other hand came up and traced a line up his rib cage, over his chest, and on his stubbled cheek. One thing he had learned during their time living together, when she desperately wanted to kiss him, she touched his face.

"Kiss me," she pleaded. Her hand crept into his hair and yanked his head down. Killian's lips were a hair's breadth from her own. "Please. I've missed you."

Killian let out a guttural sound and captured her lips. Both of his hands wrapped around her head as he ravished her with all the pent up frustration he had been feeling. Emma's hands tangled in his belt loops and pulled him to her.

He moaned as she slid her body against his. She seemed to need this as much as he did. Killian braced himself on his car as he turned and pressed her to it. His hips ground into her own. The light mist that had been falling, fell harder lubricating the car enough to allow their bodies to slid easily in their desperate attempt to touch each other everywhere.

"Gods, I've missed you," he whispered in her ear as he lightly bit on the lobe.

Killian barely noticed the cold and rain as her hands unbuttoned his shirt and ripped it from his pants in her efforts to touch skin. He leaned down and suckled one of her breasts through the fabric of her shirt that he exposed after unzipping her jacket.

He heard her head hit his car as she moaned out his name and he pulled back. They couldn't finish this not our here in the open and definitely not in the rain. "Emma, love, we need to go inside."

Emma pouted and Killian wished he could bite those puckered lips and then lave them endlessly with his tongue, but he couldn't. Not here. Not tonight.

"Ruby's in there," she protested.

"I know. I should go and get a hotel room."

Her eyes lit up. "I'll go with you. Let me tell Ruby."

Before she could escape, he grabbed her arm and kissed her. "Go back in. I'll stop by tomorrow before I head home."

Her look of confusion almost had him changing his mind. "Killian?"

"Go," he told her through gritted teeth, as his eyes slipped closed as he tried to control his body. When he opened them, Emma was staring at him.

She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss on his lips. "Merry Christmas, Killian."

"Merry Christmas."

The wind and rain attacked his shirt as he watched her leave. It was one of the hardest things he had to ever do, but he now knew he received the best Christmas present ever, the knowledge that Emma wanted to be more than just his friend. And he planned to explore just how far she was willing to go once she returned to Storybrooke.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: **Thank you everyone. I still can't believe how popular this fiction has grown. But I know a huge amount of credit goes to Aimeeloren, my beta, who makes my work look way better. And the other credit goes to Stephanie from Just4FunVids925, who created the story in the first place with her wonderful video. If you haven't checked it out, go do so because some of the scenes from this story are featured in that. And if you haven't seen her other videos, go check those out as well, she is a wonderful video editor.

**Extra A/N: **I apologize but this will be the only update for about another week. I have a lot of family things happening right now that need to be taken care of. Once I am back on schedule, I will try to get back to two updates a week. Thank you so much for your patience.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters as they belong to the franchise of OUAT.

**Chapter 20 - Look For The Girl With The Broken Smile:**

It was early Christmas morning when Ruby's phone rang waking Emma. She didn't mind being up before the sun because for once, in a long time, she was excited about Christmas and it had nothing to do with presents and everything to do with Killian. He had promised to see her today before heading back to Storybrooke. Emma went through her morning routine and padded back out to Ruby's main living area and kitchen. A half-asleep Ruby stood there praying to the coffee gods for the pot she was making to finish brewing.

"Couldn't go back to sleep?" Emma asked as she pulled a mug down from the cabinet.

"No," Ruby grumbled. She never was a morning person and, according to Ruby's standards, five o'clock should even be considered morning.

"Who called?"

"Your boyfriend."

"My boyfriend?" Emma stopped and looked at her friend in confusion. "You must mean Killian."

Ruby nodded. "If sucking face with the guy doesn't equal boyfriend with that guy than you need to revamp your definitions."

A giant sigh escaped Ruby as she made a lunge for the coffee pot that finally finished. She poured the black liquid into her cup and unmindful of the scorching temperature, took a sip, releasing a breath of relief, all the while Emma cringed in pain.

"Why did he call?" Emma asked trying to ignore Ruby's previous comment. The sneak must have been looking at the window at them the night before. It was a good thing Killian put the brakes on before they gave Ruby any other triple X entertainment. "Did something happen?"

Now Emma was worried. It was times like this she wished she let Killian get her the cell phone he insisted she needed. Maybe when she got back after the holidays, they'd discuss it.

"Something about fire and docks," Ruby grumbled around her mug, waving her hand dismissively. "I was still asleep. Told him you'd call him back later. Or at least I think I did."

"I should call him," Emma exclaimed and ran for the phone, mentally contemplating how long it would take for her to repack so she could follow Killian back to Storybrooke.

She grabbed Ruby's cordless phone and brought it with her into Ruby's room where her stuff was stored since Ruby's didn't have a spare bedroom. Dialing Killian's cell phone, Emma impatiently tapped her foot as she waited. There was no answer. She sat on Ruby's unmade bed and dialed his home phone. Emma bounced between sitting and standing like a jack-in-the-box but still received no answer. She didn't want to leave a message, she just wanted to figure out what was going on.

As a last ditch effort, Emma dialed Killian's office number, expecting to receive the messages that the offices were closed for the holidays. Instead, Killian's personal assistant answered. Emma glanced at the clock. It was five forty-five in the morning. _What the hell was going on_?

"Hello, KJ Engineering Firm. How may I help you?"

"Hi, Miss Trimble. It's Emma Swan. Is Killian there by any chance?"

"Oh. Yes, yes, he is. He's in his office with the mayor and the chief of police presently. Is this important?"

Emma sighed and sat on Ruby's bed once more. "No. He left a message with my friend, Ruby, about a fire and I was worried."

"There was a two alarm fire at the docks last night." Emma groaned at the assistant's words. A two alarm fire might as well be a five alarm fire as far as Storybrooke's standards. It would take another thirty minutes for another fire company to come from outside the city limits to help. "Ms. Bell, Mr. Jones and all required personnel have been called in. We lost close to everything."

"Damn it," Emma cursed. "When you get a chance, tell Killian I called. Let him know if he needs me to come back, I'll head right up."

"Will do, Miss Swan."

"And, Miss Trimble…"

"Yes, Miss Swan?"

"Merry Christmas."

The woman let out a shaky laugh, as if she was holding back tears. "You, too."

Emma hung up and lay back. She had been so excited about this Christmas less than an hour ago and now it looked like it was going to be another disappointing holiday.

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Christmas hadn't been bad in Emma's estimation but she had missed Killian all day long. All she could think about was Killian dealing with the crisis at the docks.

Wanting to clear her head, since Ruby had to go into work the next morning, Emma left Ruby's to take a walk around her old neighborhood. Emma went out and bought a bagel and a cup of cocoa to enjoy at the local park where artists congregated, despite the cold, to sell their wares to tourists who visited for the holidays. She loved to people watch around Christmas because people came and went with so many agendas.

Finishing her breakfast, Emma threw her trash away at a nearby trash receptacle and went to take a closer look at a man creating art with spray cans. The beautiful creations he made in a matter of minutes fascinated Emma and a large crowd of onlookers. The artist looked up at her and smiled as she stood close by.

"Any requests?"

Emma thought for a minute. Her eyes caught on a water scene that had dolphins jumping that he had created for someone else. "Can you make one with a ship sailing on the water?"

The guy nodded. "Red sky at night, sailor's delight." 

The artist finished his work and pulled out a new canvas to work on. Very quickly reds, yellow and oranges blended together across the top while the bottom had a range of blues, greens and black. Emma watched in amazement at the final product coming together. Even the ship was beautiful. A dark vessel with accents of red and yellow making it almost pop out on an already vibrant picture.

The creation continued with rocky edges in the foreground. A beautiful dark haired maiden with a fin instead of legs rested across one particularly large rock, her gaze directly on the ship at sea. With a flourish the artist showed it off to Emma.

"It won't dry for at least forty minutes. Do you want to come back and pick it up?"

Emma stared longingly at the art work, picturing it in Killian's study. "Yes. How much do I owe you?"

"Twenty-five. If you give me your cell number, I'll call when it's dry."

Emma nodded and rattled off Ruby's cell number while digging the cash from her pockets. Now she just had to run to the diner to pick up Ruby's cell so she'd know when it was ready.

"When you frame it, you will need to double mat it so the paint doesn't stick to the glass," the artist informed her, handing her a receipt.

"Thank you." Emma turned and began to leave so she could meet up with Ruby.

As Emma walked, she thought about Killian and what he was probably dealing with. She still hadn't heard back from him and she knew it had to be because he was either busy or exhausted. It wasn't like him to not say anything, unlike Neal who could go for days, even weeks, without talking to her.

"Emma!"

_Damn it. Speaking of_… "Hi, Neal."

"What are you doing in Boston?'

Why the hell did it sound like she invaded his territory? Seriously, he was going to act like he owned all of Boston? "Visiting Ruby."

"What does that bitch have to say?"

Emma balled up her hands. She refused to lower herself to Neal's level. Now if only she could keep herself from breaking his nose. "I'm really busy, Neal. What do you want?"

"Can't a guy just say hi to an old friend?"

"First off, we were never friends. As a matter of fact, I don't think I would have ever been friends with you." As time wore on, Emma had realized that. She also realized that she never really loved Neal. Infatuation and need were the better motives for their relationship.

"Sex that good, huh?" He wagged his eyebrows. On Killian it would have looked cute and sexy. On Neal, it seemed pathetic.

She humphed but before Emma could respond a female voice called out Neal's name. Emma turned and found a dark-skinned woman in a trench coat running toward them. The woman ran over and threw herself at Neal who hugged her back all the while staring directly at Emma. When the woman turned, she noticed Emma standing there.

"Who's this?" The woman addressed Neal.

"Tamara, this is my friend, Emma Swan."

Emma scoffed at his words but shook the offered hand the other woman held out while Neal continued, "Emma, this is my fiancée, Tamara."

Emma glared at Neal but offered a smile in Tamara's direction. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. It's taken him forever to propose but I finally got the ring on Valentine's Day. We're hoping to get married in the spring. Maybe you can come. After four years of being together, it's finally going to happen." 

Neal cleared his throat, as Emma's eyes eviscerated him. "Honey, you don't want to be late for work."

"No, of course not." Tamara shook her head. "I can be such a ditz sometimes when it comes to Neal. It was nice meeting you, Emma."

"Yeah, same here," Emma gritted out through a fake smile.

She and Neal watched Tamara walk down the street in silence. Emma didn't really care where Tamara was going. Right now she just needed to screw her head on straight so she didn't murder Neal on the streets of Boston. Emma wanted, no needed, answers. She turned to him and slapped his arm. "What the hell?"

"What?"

Emma gestured wildly down the road where Tamara had disappeared. "Who the hell was that? Four years, Neal? Four freaking years?"

"Oh, don't be so naive, Emma. You had to know there was someone else. You think that you're enough for a guy like me? Hell, you couldn't excite a flea."

"You're an asshole. So much shit comes out of your mouth that you should walk around with a commode."

"People are staring, Emma. Don't make a scene."

Emma looked around. People were staring but honestly she was too upset to care. The guy she had been living with, the guy she had devoted herself to, was the biggest liar, cheat and all around asshole that he needed a small country just to hold his ego. "Go fuck yourself, Neal."

"I had to until I met Tamara. Lord knows you couldn't do it."

Emma growled. She swore steam had to be coming out of her ears, like some cartoon character. She'd trade just about anything for a barrel of cartoon TNT so she could see Neal blow up. Emma almost smile at the image. Almost.

"I couldn't, Neal. You know why? Because although you are the biggest dick I ever knew,you probably still never figured out how to use yours."

He glared at her and then shrugged as if her words didn't faze him. "Look, there's a bar around the corner. If you want to keep yelling at me, you can do it there. I could use a drink."

"It's not even noon," Emma yelled at him as he turned to go. "And I'm not drinking with you."

Stamping her feet in frustration, Emma followed him. Where the hell had he met this woman? Was she also unaware that Neal had been cheating on her? Hell, when Neal proposed, Emma and Neal hadn't even moved to Storybrooke yet.

Following Neal inside a bar, she was stunned by how calm he was with the whole situation. He ordered a couple of beers and slid one in front of her, as he took a seat. She had already told him she had no intention of drinking with him, so she pushed it to the side as she stood there, refusing to even sit with him.

"Who is she, Neal? Where did you meet her?" Emma was impressed by how calm she sounded.

Neal drank his beer and watched her over the rim of the mug. "I met her at mom's funeral. She was my mother's personal assistant."

"You picked up a woman…" Emma really did try to rationalize this in her head before she continued but it was still too unbelievable, "at your mother's funeral, while I was there?"

Neal shrugged and drank some more. "Don't act like it has never been done before."

"Not to me it hasn't."

"After growing up in foster care and on the streets, you wouldn't think you'd be so sheltered." Neal waved his now empty mug at her, pointing to her drink. "You going to drink that?"

"No."

Neal picked up the mug of beer, after setting his own down, and took a healthy swallow. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, which always drove Emma nuts. "Are you done yelling at me?"

"Oh, yes." Emma pushed away from the bar counter she had been leaning against. "I'm done yelling at you. I'm done dealing with you. I'm just done with you."

Emma reached up and grabbed the swan necklace that still resided around her neck and tugged hard. The chain snapped and she laid it on the counter of the bar, almost wishing she was vindictive enough to drop it in his beer. "Bye, Neal." 

"Hey, barman, another drink," Emma heard Neal call as she walked out the door into the bright light of day. It was like waking up from a dream, a really bad dream.

How had she allowed Neal to become a large part of her life? He wasn't worth an ounce of her anger and she refused to cry. Looking down at her watch, she realized how late it had become. She hoped that the artist was still in the park so she could pick up Killian's painting. At least she could count on Killian to be there for her, unless he was another Neal in disguise.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: ** Thank you everyone. I am still so surprised at how popular this fiction has become. I am so happy that everyone is enjoying it. A huge thank you to my beta, aimeeloren, who continues to make each chapter better. And another thank you to Stephanie, Just4FunVids925 (YouTube), who created the wonderful AU video that led me to write this. And she was so kind to allow me permission to make it the story it has become. Please be sure to check out all her amazing videos. She has posted several recently and if you give her great feedback, she'll be sure to post more. I hope that soon I'll be back on schedule to have two postings a week, but please be patient with me as I try to regroup and have enough chapters to do so. Thank you.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters contained within this story. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 21 – Ask Her If She Wants To Stay A While:**

Emma was frustrated. She had been home for over two weeks and she had barely seen Killian except for the occasional time when she was awake early enough to see him walk out the front door. Of course, that was when he came home at all. Emma didn't think he was purposefully avoiding her but it still hurt.

And now he was gone for a whole month. He and Tink had planned to attend several builder's conferences, starting in Florida and finishing in New York just a day before Valentine's Day. Emma didn't mean to feel jealous, or not trust Killian, but after discovering Neal's duplicity it was hard. What scared Emma even more was that she knew Killian and Tink had had a previous relationship, while Killian and Emma hadn't even had a chance to develop their own.

Emma's spring semester of classes had started so that took up some of her time. She couldn't dwell on Killian as much as she had the week after her return and for that she was grateful. It was the nights that were the hardest. Eating alone. Not having anyone to share her day with Each chime of the grandfather clock mocking her, reminding her how empty her life was.

Mary-Margaret did her friendly best by inviting Emma over for dinner. And Emma had even been invited out for a girl's night with some of Mary-Margaret's friends the following weekend. But it wasn't enough. No matter what they did they could not occupy all of her free time.

It was the nights that he had not come home that Emma worried the most. She wasn't sure if he was alone at the office or with Tink. If he was truly sleeping on the couch in his office or at Tink's house. And now with him gone, all she wondered was if they were sharing a hotel room to save money. She tried talking herself out of the all these thoughts but at her loneliest they came to haunt her.

Gritting her teeth against the plaguing thoughts that were tormenting her once again, Emma tried her level best to ignore the pain that they brought. She trusted Killian. Emma never trusted anyone as much as she trusted him, not even Neal. And if she trusted him, she had to believe that there was nothing happening between him and Tink.

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Killian missed Emma more than he ever dreamed he could. The fire at the docks destroyed his Christmas and created havoc to his schedule so he never had a chance to see her except for the couple of occasions he had forgotten something on his way out the door and she had an early class. Of course, sleeping on his office couch three nights a week didn't help either but it was a habit he picked up after crashing there on Boxing Day. Sleeping through the one day that Killian cherished more than Christmas because it reminded him of times spent with his brother.

Over the weeks, Killian had worked with the Sheriff's Department and hired a security company to handle watch on what was left of their project and equipment. Killian felt responsible. If he hadn't left town, he reasoned, things might have been different. It was because of that guilt that he remained at the office long into the night to ensure no such mistakes could happen again. In doing so, he sacrificed so much. Sleep. Food. Emma's company.

Twice he had tried to have lunch with her but either she cancelled because of a class running late or he did because of an issue arising. And now he was stuck at conferences he and Tink had planned for months ago. Killian had been so tempted to cancel but his company had already lost more money in the fire than he had counted on. He couldn't afford to lose all the conference fees too.

Killian and Tink flew down to Florida for the first conference and he found he could barely concentrate. His mind was so focused on the work he had left behind. Ironic really when you couldn't work because work was getting in the way.

And when he wasn't thinking about work, Killian's mind was full of Emma. He'd been kicking himself since Christmas that he convinced Emma to go back to Ruby's instead of joining him in his hotel room. Of course, if he had their little tryst would have been interrupted before it really began by a call from the Sheriff's Office in Storybrooke. It struck Killian funny that the last few times he had planned to stay in a hotel he had to check out within an hour of checking in. He hated to think about what reputation he was projecting to all of these hotel workers.

As Killian and Tink had flown down to their first conference, they made a deal. They wouldn't attend any of the parties and dinners unless they went together. Killian was already worried about so much that he didn't want to take a chance that something might happen to Tink like what had happened with her and Jefferson. Tink knew they had torn up the contract. What she didn't know is that Killian had applied for a protective order against Jefferson so there wouldn't be any repercussions from that evening.

If only Killian had been so thorough with the dock project. Hindsight was always twenty-twenty and he tried not to berate himself but it was hard.

It was during one of his evening self-flagellations that Tink knocked on his hotel room door. It was their last night in Florida. Tomorrow the two of them would be winging their way to Texas for a two day briefing with a fellow engineering firm who had dealt with a devastating loss from fire. After that it was on to their next conference in Las Vegas.

"Yes?" Killian asked her as he opened the door.

Tink pushed her way in and sat in the arm chair by the window. "Are you over yourself yet?"

Killian closed the door and sat on the small wooden chair by the desk. "What are you talking about?"

Tink waved her had at his disheveled appearance. "This… Whatever the hell this is, that has you feeling like you are solely responsible for the fire at the docks."

He ran his hand through his hair. "I should have been there. If I wasn't in Boston…"

"You have a fire truck in your garage I'm unaware of? Or the capacity to see the future?" When Killian shook his head no, Tink continued. "Then I guess there was nothing more you could have done even if you were in Storybrooke."

"I should have stayed in town and drove past there to make sure everything was fine. It was what I intended to do while everyone was off for the holiday."

"Were you planning to bunk out under the stars and stay there the whole week? No? Well then, guess what? It still might have happened."

"Damn it, Tink. Stop trying to assuage my guilt."

Her eyes narrowed on him. "Well, guess what, lover boy? I wasn't at home either when the police called. I was out enjoying what I thought would amount to more than a one night stand but after what happened I don't have more than his first name. In other words, we were both out to get screwed and we did, just not like we planned."

Killian let out a sarcastic laugh. "So funny, Tink. You're just so bloody funny."

Tink shrugged. "Face it. We can both play the 'what if' game but it doesn't change anything. The dock burned. We almost lost our shirts but we need to bounce back and prove that we can survive the arson and move on. Otherwise, let's say screw it and close the company and go home."

Killian contemplated her words. As much as he hated to admit it, Tink was right. Leroy was fine with forgoing his vacation time to resettle the crew. The crew all volunteered to work extra hours without pay to get things rolling again. Even with Killian and Tink out of town for the next month, things were taking a swing back in the right direction.

He was about to say something along those regards when his room phone rang. Tink jumped across his be to answer it.

"Hello," she said breathily. "Killian's room. Can I help you?"

He watched the smile on her face falter. "Oh. Hi, Emma. Yeah, he's right here. I was trying to give him a pep talk. I'll go so the two of you can have some privacy."

Tink laid the phone receiver down on the nightstand. "I better go. Don't worry about dinner, I'll order some room service."

She rose, straightened her skirt and waved as she left his room. Killian pushed himself up from the chair and walked to the phone. Picking it up, he talked to Emma and asked her about her weekend.

It felt so good to hear her voice. It amazed him at how quickly his mood changed just from talking to her, even if the conversation was mundane. He wished he could tell her how much he missed her. How much he wished he was there with her. How much he thought about the two of them. But it was too much too soon. He refused to rush this thing with Emma. He wanted her to stay. And he didn't want to analyze why.

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The next morning, Killian handed Tink his license so she could check them in and get their tickets to Dallas. When she returned, he tucked his ticket in his shirt pocket and began to follow her to the security gate. It took about a half hour but they finally passed through.

Grabbing most of the carry-ons, he announced, "Let's go."

"Nope. Put my stuff down." Tink turned and stared him down.

"Don't go all feminist on me this early in the morning, Tink. I haven't had any coffee yet and I don't feel like fighting."

"I'm not fighting with you but it is pointless to carry my bags when we aren't even going to the same place."

"What the hell are you grumbling about, Tink?" Killian pulled out his ticket and stared down dumbly at the word Boston. "Why am I flying to Boston?"

"Because, first of all Miss Trimble is beside herself trying to get all of these change orders completed and she is going to need your signature." She held her hand up stopping his protest. "Before you say anything about them being able to be overnighted, she needs them completed by Wednesday. And it also leads me to my second reason. You need to see Emma."

Tink stood there with her hands on her hips, her lips pursed. "You've become a curmudgeon. At least she puts a smile on your face, which you will need in the weeks to come if we are to accomplish what we had planned during these conferences."

Killian dropped the bags and scooped Tink up in his arms, kissing her forehead. "You're a genius."

She blushed. "Well, one of us had to be the smart one. You apparently stole all the good looks."

They both laughed as Killian set her down. He grabbed his bags and handed Tink's to her, winking. "I owe you one, Tink."

"Don't think I won't let you forget it, either."

The flights were uneventful and Killian landed in Boston shortly after one. By the time he rented a car and drove to Storybrooke it was almost closing time at the office, so he headed there first. Miss Trimble was surprised and happy to see him. She had just been panicking over how to get the documents to him, signed and returned on time.

After signing even more of his money away, Killian should have been upset but he was almost on the verge of whistling as he drove to his house. His fingers tapped the steering wheel in tune to the song playing on the radio.

Pulling up into his driveway, the first thing he saw was Emma's yellow Bug. A smile spread over his face. He could go for a dinner. A hot shower. And a hot date with Emma. Not necessarily in that order and in any combination that Emma was willing to explore. Shaking his head from the lustful images his mind conjured up, he headed inside.

"Emma?" he called out.

She came from his kitchen, a smile lighting up her face. "Killian! What are you doing here?"

He rushed over and cupped her face. "This."

Killian captured her lips relishing the feel of them. He was a starving man and she was the feast.

She pushed back and searched his eyes. "Easy, tiger. We have company."

"Don't mind me," a female voice called out from behind Emma. "I'll grab my books and head home."

Killian looked over and watched a slender bleach blonde styled into a long braid hanging over one shoulder brush past them. She was grinning. He watched as she piled her books together on top of the coffee table where they and what appeared to be Emma's were scattered across the surface. He stepped away from Emma and extended his hand.

"Killian. Killian Jones."

The blonde turned and shook his hand. "Elsa Arendelle. Nice to meet you." The woman turned to Emma. "See you in class on Wednesday?"

Emma nodded. "Sorry, Elsa. Maybe we can meet later." 

"Don't worry about it. Have fun. If my boyfriend suddenly showed up when I knew I wouldn't see him for a while, I wouldn't be making plans with anyone."

With a smile and a wave, Elsa left, leaving the two of them alone. Killian had wrapped his arm around Emma's waist and it felt right, like they were really a couple. She turned and self-consciously began to play with the button on his dress shirt that had come undone.

"How long are you here?"

He lifted her chin so he could see her eyes. "Until the day after tomorrow night. I have to be in Boston early to catch a red-eye flight on Thursday morning."

"I wish you could stay longer."

"So do I."

She watched as his head lowered to kiss her. Emma wanted nothing more in her life at that moment to remain in his arms forever. When they were both breathless, he pulled away, smiling. He tangled his fingers in her own and pulled her toward the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Emma asked hesitantly.

He gave her what could only be called a salacious grin. "I need a shower."

Emma cocked her head. "And what exactly am I supposed to be doing while you're in there?"

"Washing my back."

Emma's mouth formed a soft 'o' but she followed him up the stairs. It wasn't until they entered his large master bath that she began to feel overwhelmed by the situation. Everything seemed to be happening so fast. Most of all, she felt naïve. She and Neal had never had shower sex. That was something Ruby did, not her. Emma wasn't that creative. Of course, that could be because her previous lovers had been limited to two, Neal and a one-night stand that Emma had let get too far.

She watched fascinated as Killian began to strip out of his clothes, his eyes locked with her own. Emma couldn't help dropping her gaze a few times to enjoy the picture of male perfection that was slowly becoming unfurled in front of her.

Finally, he turned to start the water and Emma felt like she could take her first breath since entering the bathroom. Emma lifted her hands to her cheeks which had been warm since he began to unbutton his shirt. With a lingering look her way, Killian stepped into the large glass cubicle.

Steam wafted up and out of it. Emma watched Killian pick up a bar of soap and he rubbed it across his chest. He glanced out at her through the clear glass and smiled.

"You coming? My back can't wash itself," he teased.

"Killian, I don't know…"

He opened the door to the shower and looked out at her. She expected him to brush her off or even berate her but instead he gave her an assessing look. "It's okay. Wherever we go from here, it's up to you as much as me. It's your call, Emma."

She watched him slowly close the door and she slunk down onto the still slightly cold surface of the nearby tub. Emma needed to make a decision. Was she ready to take her relationship with Killian further than just friendship? In the heat of the moment it was an easy decision but now with her mind free from distraction she needed to decide where she and Killian were going from here.

Killian saw her stand and begin to walk to the door of the bathroom. Apparently, Emma wasn't ready yet. He had been teasing all this time wondering how far he could push this. Killian didn't have much time to play hooky from work and he had wanted to take advantage of every minute that he had with Emma but not at the expense of pushing her away. Which by the looks of it he had. He was the one who had pushed her aside in the past not wanting to rush what they had because he didn't want to be some rebound. He knew he wouldn't be that anymore and he had hoped that things could be different.

Smacking the wall, Killian closed his eyes and leaned against the tile, trying and failing to calm down his raging erection. He reached blindly for the soap determined to take care of the issue himself when he heard the shower door open. His eyes flew wide as a very naked, very beautiful Emma Swan walked inside.

"Is that for me?"

At first Killian thought she meant his hardened dick but soon realized she meant the soap clutched tightly in his hand. He couldn't help but laugh as she handed her the bar. "All of it."

Hmm was all she said as he watched her lather her hand. Emma laid the soap back and ran her sudsy hands across his chest. His breath almost caught in his throat.

"Not that I'm complaining but I thought you were here to wash my back."

She looked up at him with a shy grin. "Practice. Never washed anyone else before. I want to make sure I'm doing it right."

"Love, trust me, you have no way of doing it wrong."

"Have to make sure that I cover every inch."

"Keep doing that," he glanced down to where her hands were tangled in his chest hair, her nails scratching across one of his nipples, "and there'll be more of me to wash."

Her eyes flickered down before raising to his own. He grabbed the back of her head and drew her closer. Killian's tongue traced over the surface of her lips before delving inside. Her hands traced up his chest and wrapped around his neck.

Killian slid his hands down cupping her ass and pulled her thighs forward. She complied and wrapped her legs around his waist. Reaching behind him, he turned the knobs off and opened the shower door.

Their wet bodies slid against each other as he walked, exciting them both. He could see her confusion as he strolled past his bed and out into the hallway.

"Where are we going?" she asked breathlessly.

"Your room. I've dreamt of this so long that nothing, save you, is going to come between us tonight. Not even the ghost of…" He shook his head because he couldn't finish. Killian refused to bring up the name of his dead wife when he had Emma in his arms.

Entering her room, he laid her gently on top of her covers. Emma's body shook slightly from the cold across her wet body. He had every intention of making sure she wouldn't be cold again for quite some time but first he needed to head back to his room. Condoms were in order.

She tangled her fingers with his as he tried to pull away. "Where are you going now?"

"Protection."

"In the drawer." She pointed at the nightstand and he didn't want to think about her using them with someone else.

Killian cocked an eyebrow. And she laughed.

"You're not the only one who was planning ahead."

"Hmm. I like the way you think."

"Good. Now get over here. I'm cold." She cocked a finger at him, beckoning him forward and he was only too happy to comply.

He gave her a sharp salute, before he pushed himself onto the bed over her. "Aye, aye, Captain Swan. It is my pleasure to serve under your command."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who has been reading and favoriting this story. I hope all of you are enjoying it as much as I am. As usual, I need to thank my beta, aimeeloren, for going that extra which helps make this story that much better. And another thank you to Stephanie, Just4FunVids925, on YouTube, for creating the wonderful video. She is a great video artist and all of you should check out her videos and subscribe to her channel.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 22 – She Will Be Loved, She Will Be Loved: **

Killian awoke the next morning relaxed for the first time in a month. He stretched and opened his eyes, surprised for a brief second to find himself in Emma's room. He turned to greet Emma but realized she wasn't there. Only slightly disappointed, Killian smiled as he padded down the hall, unabashed at his nakedness, to use his bathroom.

When he exited, he thought he lost his bloody mind. Emma was laying there on his bed, her body covered in his slightly unbuttoned dress shirt and tie from the day before and nothing else. She smiled up at him as she twirled her finger over the whip cream in her mug, raising it to her lips and lapping at it, much as she had him last night. A groan escaped from his mouth at the thought.

"Coming to join me?" she asked.

All he could do was nod. His tongue had taken up permanent residence at the roof of his mouth. It took a minute for his brain to realize that he needed to move towards her. When he reached her side, he trailed a finger over her long leg. His hand pushed under his shirt, sweeping past her belly. He watched as her eyes closed as he plucked at one of her nipples.

Killian removed his hand and reached out and took the mug from her hands and set it on the nightstand next to a second mug that he could only assume was meant for him. She slid the tie out from around her neck wrapping the ends around her hands. Emma flung it around his head and drew him in.

As much as he knew she meant for him to kiss her, he had to ask. "Emma, are you sure?"

She looked straight into his eyes, barely more than an inch from his own. "Yes."

Killian kissed the side of her lips, his tongue tracing around them before he fully committed to the actual kiss. It was morning and refused to have Emma feel any regrets. Despite his own hesitancy, he had none. From the moment he kissed Emma out in his hallway after Milah's funeral, he knew this moment would happen. He just needed to know she was as much committed to it as he was.

He leveraged himself upon the bed over her. His forearms feeling the strain as he held himself over her, only allowing their lips and tongues to touch. Emma's leg reached up and wrapped around his thigh pulling him down.

Killian rolled Emma so she was on top of him. Her body rubbed enticingly over his. He ran his fingers through her hair as his other hand grasped her hip, slowing her movements. If she continued, he'd be done before they even began.

"Emma, wait," he pleaded. She looked at him questioningly. "I need to get a condom."

"Already thought of that." She reached inside the pocket of his shirt and emerged with a square foil packet.

He chuckled. "You ever thought about being a Girl Scout?"

She pretended to contemplate that. "I might be a little old."

"Oh, but the thought of you in that little green skirt…"

She smacked him playfully. "You want role-play? How about you in leather pants and a red brocade vest and nothing else?"

"Saucy wench, aren't you?" he asked with a raised brow.

"You have no idea," she teased with a wink.

"Maybe not yet, but I intend to find out."

Find out he did. They barely left his bed the whole day except to find sustenance for their empty bellies. He had to leave the next evening and it saddened him that he had to wait weeks before he'd be able to share this with Emma again.

"Gold doubloon for your thoughts."

Killian raised his brow. "And where exactly did you acquire a gold doubloon?"

She held it up and it flashed in the light of the chandelier. "Found it in a drawer in my room."

He held out his hand and she placed it in his palm. "It was my father's." Killian twirled it around his fingers. "My father left it on the table the night he abandoned me at my brother's apartment when I was twelve. It was as if he paid Liam for taking me instead of admitting he left so he could save himself from whatever hell he perceived his life to be.

"No matter how many times we went hungry. No matter how much money it would have fetched, my brother never spent it. This coin insulted us both. We were family. Family always takes care of its own no matter the cost."

Killian laid the coin on the table. Emma was sorry she destroyed the peacefulness that had been between them. They only had a little over twenty-four hours before Killian had to leave. Sitting there with him lost in sad thoughts was not how she hoped to spend the time.

Emma reached across the table to hold Killian's hand, forcing her to let go of the sheet wrapped around her. It slipped slightly but remained over her chest. He intertwined their fingers and gave her a soft smile.

"Sorry. We don't need melancholy thoughts right now," he told her.

"If you want to talk, I'm more than happy to listen, Killian."

He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the palm. Slowly, she saw his eyes begin to smolder. "I'd be happier listening to you."

"You already know my story."

"Oh, I have no plans on letting you speak." He gave her a cocky wink. "Unless it's my name."

"Got it," she laughed. "No 'pleases'. Or 'more'. Or anything else." Emma made a zipping motion across her mouth. "My lips are sealed." 

Emma watched him stand, after he dropped her hand abruptly. The bath towel he wore clung precariously on his lean hips. Killian moved with the grace of a panther as he rounded the table. He reached the side of her chair and she looked up at him. The grin on his face was as predatory as his walk had been.

Making sure the sheet was still tucked in, she rose to meet him, her body tingling everywhere his eyes touched. The back of his fingers brushed over her cheek.

"While I loved the sextant, I never did get to open the Christmas present I really wanted."

"Oh." Emma's mind wandered. What did he really want for Christmas? She couldn't remember him telling her. "What was it?"

"You," he breathed into her neck as he dipped his head and began to nibble on her shoulder.

She shuddered in anticipation as he unwound the sheet from her body, all while his mouth left a trail of fire that was heating her body from the inside out. While her experiences with sex were limited, she knew with certainty that Killian was a wonderful lover.

His hands, slightly calloused, skimmed over her breasts. He cupped them as if weighing them in his palms before his mouth captured a nipple, laving and nipping, coaxing sensations from her she had never felt before. Her hand reached up and buried itself in his hair, clenching at the strands. Killian's eyes rose up to hers as he continued his ministrations. Being able to look him in the eye as he brought her pleasure was profound.

"God," she sighed.

"No. Just Killian." He laughed as he captured her lips.

Emma was in a breathless daze when he released her. Through heavy lids she saw him scoop up the sheet and spread it out over the other end of his dining table.

He came back with a smug grin. "Now for dessert."

Killian scooped her up in his arms and laid her upon the sheet on the table. In a very elegant and sweeping gesture he sat on the chair at the end of the table and pulled the sheet slowly so that she inched closer and closer to him. He settled her feet on the side of his chair, causing her knees to raise up. Self-conscious, Emma clenched her legs together.

Killian's hands ran up the length of her legs, soothing them open. "Never deny a man dessert. It's the best part of the meal."

Emma relaxed into the sensations as he plundered her with his mouth. Her back arched trying to pull him in closer. Emma's hands tangled in the sheet trying to find purchase as pleasure rocked through her body. Her orgasm felt as if it rocketed her into space. She might as well be boneless, her body was so relaxed. With what little strength she had, she peeked open her eyes to see Killian licking his lips. Slowing his face broke into a smile so big the Cheshire cat would have been jealous.

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There was nothing better than waking up next to a well satisfied woman. Killian ran his hand down Emma's hip. He hated to think that later that night he'd have to head back to Boston for his flight to Vegas. If he had missed Emma before, he'd be sure to do so now that he had a taste of her on his lips. He couldn't afford to fly back and forth between the conferences, as much as he wished he could. Not after the fire that nearly destroyed his company.

Killian kissed Emma's shoulder and trailed kisses up to her ear. He couldn't get enough of her. They'd practically hadn't left bed since he arrived home, going at it like sex-starved teenagers. Not that he minded one bit but he also enjoyed spending time with her. He resolved to do just that today. They could curl up on his couch and watch movies. Or maybe, he'd take her on an actual date to the movie theater. He hadn't done that with a girl since he was a teenager. Whatever Emma decided would be fine with him.

"Hmm. That feels good."

"Finally awake, Sleeping Beauty?"

Emma pushed her hair back. "Ha. I probably look more like Medusa right now. I can't remember the last time I brushed my hair."

"It's not your hair I'm interested in."

His head dipped in and he gave her a long lingering kiss. Her arms intertwined around his neck and he relished the feel of her knowing it would be some time before they could share another morning like this.

Killian rested his forehead on hers and gazed at her. "So, what would you like to do today?"

"Considering I've already ditched classes yesterday, I should probably go. I did promise Elsa."

"It's almost noon," he informed her.

"Seriously?" Emma pushed up and glanced at his alarm clock. "Crap. Guess going to class is out. I only have one left for today and it was supposed to be cancelled because the professor needed to attend a conference."

"Well, since you've already played hooky, let's go somewhere and get lunch."

Emma settled back down next to him. "Might as well. What do you have in mind?"

"Tony's?"

Emma looked at him sideways. "Are you trying to butter me up, Killian Jones?"

He chuckled. "Is it working?"

Her fingers trailed over his chest and he drew in a breath, as he tried to calm his body. He was determined they'd do more than spend the rest of the day in bed.

"I believe it is."

He plucked the sheets from her, causing her to scream because of the cold air hitting her body. "You better go jump in the shower, otherwise I might feel compelled to join you and we'll end up going nowhere."

She ran her fingers over his chin that had a few days' worth of stubble. "It might be worth it but I don't know if my body can take any more right now." Killian playfully growled at her. "I'm going. I'm going," she laughed.

Emma never enjoyed herself so much. Killian stuck to his word and took her to Tony's for lunch. Then despite the cold they strolled along the docks hand in hand and he showed her what progress they were making after the fire. Finally, he treated her to some Chinese food and they decided to head back home and enjoy a movie. It was a magical day that Emma wasn't soon going to forget.

It was around nine that night when Killian rose from the couch, taking her hand and led her to his room. They made love slowly, as if they both wanted to imprint the memory in their brains. It was so beautiful Emma felt tears prick her eyes. They snuggled under the covers for another hour before Killian kissed her and began to rise from the bed.

"I have to shower and leave. I packed earlier when you were getting ready for lunch. I wish I could stay," he told her as he gathered his clothes.

"I know." Emma ran her hand over his cheek when he sat down next to her on the edge of the bed.

"I'm going to miss you." Killian leaned down and gently kissed her.

"Call me."

"Every night," he promised as he rose once more. "I really do have to go. As it is, I will probably just crash at the airport for an hour or so before I get on my flight."

Emma watched him walk to his bathroom and she sat up clenching the sheet around her breasts. "I love you."

It was so much easier for her to say it right now when he couldn't hear. Maybe one day soon she'd be brave enough to actually tell him.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** I want to thank all of you reading this story. Also, I need to thank my beta, aimeeloren, who has hung with me through this story. And also to Stephanie with Just4FunVids (YouTube) who created the wonderful video that started this story.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of OUAT.

**Chapter 23 – She Will Be Loved, She Will Be Loved:**

Valentine's Day was set to arrive on Wednesday and Emma had never been this excited for the holiday as she was right now. Killian was expected back tomorrow, Tuesday, sometime in the early evening. He'd kept his word and called her every night.

The only thing marring Emma's happiness was the phone call she had made a week ago to Killian's hotel room. It had been early in the morning. Emma had hoped to catch him before his meetings. Caught him she apparently had. Killian had answered the phone but was trying to rush Emma off while silencing what sounded like Tink in the background. _Why had Tink been in his room at five-thirty in the morning?_ Eventually, Emma let him go because he said he still had to shower and dress before heading down for breakfast.

Emma really did try not to let it mar her happiness of him coming home. Being excited for his arrival, she had made plans for them to have a romantic dinner at Tony's on Wednesday night and she'd already ordered all of Killian's favorite food from Granny's for her to pick up tomorrow after class for their dinner.

Killian had warned Emma he might not call tonight because he and Tink had a dinner planned with some business associate they were friends with that he expected to run late into the evening. Looking at the clock, Emma realized it was only ten o'clock. He was sure to still be at dinner but she wanted to hear his voice. Figuring his phone would be off, Emma called it to hear his voicemail. It surprised her when after ringing twice he answered.

"Oh, God. It's Emma. Hi, Emma." His voice was breathless, almost as if he raced for the phone.

"Killian?"

"Aye. What's going on?" He sounded so distracted which didn't bother he so much as she knew he was probably still busy.

"Killian, put the phone down," a woman's voice said with a sultry overtone close to the microphone.

Emma heard Killian groan, though she could tell he tried to muffle it. "Stop, Ariel. I'm on the phone."

It was as if he said it with his hand over the phone, yet Emma still made out the words. Gritting her teeth, Emma tried to rationalize it all in her mind while holding back the prick of tears. "You know, Killian, you're busy. I'll let you go."

"Emma. It's okay. Why did you call?"

"I wanted to hear your voice. I didn't expect you to pick up."

"Of course, I'd pick up. I saw your name." There was a brief pause. "Emma, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing. Really. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Hey," Killian screamed and Emma jumped.

"Look, sweetie, we're in the middle of something over here. Some critical negotiations, if you catch my drift," the female voice came over the phone. "You can call him back later when he isn't otherwise occupied."

"Bloody hell, Ariel. Give me back my phone," Killian demanded in the distance.

The dial tone sounded in Emma's ear. She plopped down on her bed and threw the phone on the pillow next to her. Killian was busy alright. Busy with the same kind of work that kept Neal away. A woman.

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Killian was pissed. He sat there staring at his cell phone sitting in a full glass of gin and tonic. His eyes raised to the woman who put it there. Ariel was a beautiful woman. She had lush red hair and a small curvaceous body. The two of them had been lovers a few short years ago, before she married Eric. The major appeal that Ariel had for Killian was the fact that she was unlike both Milah and Emma, during a time when he wanted to forget them both.

Apparently, despite her newly married status to one of Killian's biggest business associates, she was determined to pick up where they left off. All during dinner her stocking foot ran up and down Killian's leg, occasionally brushing across his crotch. Yes, he had been stimulated by her actions but it was mainly because his mind had constantly drifted to thoughts of Emma hesitantly doing that same movement during his last trip home.

As soon as dinner had finished, Killian had excused himself and practically ran out of the restaurant to get some air. He had still been taking some deep calming breaths when Ariel's hands slipped into his pants from behind him, fondling his still semi-erect crotch. It was at that moment his phone buzzed. _Emma_! _Bloody hell!_

He tried to turn away from Ariel, as he answered. Removing her hands from his person, he tried to talk to Emma as he stalked back to the bar but Ariel followed. Her hands groping at him whenever she was able to get the opportunity. In the end, she took his phone and dropped it in the drink now sitting on the bar next to him.

"Ariel," Killian growled. "Do you have any idea what you have done?"

"Got rid of one of your little groupies," she said succinctly, looking proud of herself as she perched on a barstool.

"That was my girlfriend."

"Oops." Ariel didn't sound one bit upset. "Guess that won't last."

"How would you like it if I told Eric about your little antics tonight?"

Ariel shrugged. "He'd never believe you. He loves me."

"Too bad it isn't mutual." 

She glared at him. "Who said it wasn't? I love him in my own way."

Killian crossed his arms and returned the glare. "If you really loved him, you wouldn't have been chasing me all evening. And you definitely wouldn't have pulled that little stunt." He waved at his destroyed phone. "Bloody hell, Ariel. I love her and you may have cost me a chance to find real love, not whatever you perceive it to be." 

"You love her?" Ariel's voice squeaked over the question. "Shit, Killian. I am so sorry. I thought she was another one of those little tarts that hang around you."

Killian watched Ariel's eyes fill up with tears. If he wasn't so mad he might have felt bad for the woman. "I have to fix this." 

Stalking off, he noticed Tink still sitting with Eric at the table they had all previously occupied. "Tink, I need your phone." 

She looked up at him confused. "What happened to yours?"

"Long story. Too long for now. Can I borrow it? I need to call Emma."

Tink nodded and pulled it from her small purse, handing it to him. "Here. Just promise no sexting. I can't unsee that."

Killian couldn't help but smile genuinely for the first time that evening. "Nothing you haven't seen before."

"I have not seen Emma's bits before and I would like to keep it that way."

Eric was cracking up in his corner of the table and Killian wasn't far from laughing himself. "Fine," he teased with a wink. "But I won't promise that it won't be used for other purposes."

"Go, Killian," Eric encouraged, high-fiving his friend. "I remember doing much the same when I was courting Ariel."

Killian didn't wait to hear the rest of Eric's story. He needed to call Emma back and explain. Tink would be fine with Eric, one of the few people he trusted completely. Too bad Killian couldn't say the same about his friend's wife.

Dialing his home number, the one that Emma called from, he walked back out of the restaurant. It rang multiple times and then his voicemail picked up. Maybe Emma had left the house after she called him. Glancing at his watch, he realized it was almost eleven. It was rather late for her to go anywhere, especially with a class at eight am. He called the cell phone number she'd been assigned when he added her to his account after Christmas. Nothing. Bloody hell. Her phone was turned off. She was avoiding him and he couldn't blame her.

It was too late to try to catch a flight tonight and even if he found a rental place still open he wouldn't get there until after she left for class. Life was never simple but fate seemed to like to make his especially complicated, at least as far as Emma was concerned.

"Did you get a hold of her?"

Killian turned and saw Tink standing there. "No."

"What happened?"

"Ariel." 

"That would at least explain this." Tink held out his phone wrapped in a cloth napkin. "Looks like you'll need a new one."

Killian could only nod as he accepted the damaged phone. "I'll get a new one on the way to the airport tomorrow. Just one more bloody thing to drain my bank account."

"You'll live." Tink walked to the curb and signaled for a cab. One thing about New York, cabs were plentiful, so one quickly pulled to the curb despite the lateness of the hour. As they got in the back, Tink took one of Killian's hands in her own. "Don't worry. Things will work out."

Killian glanced over at her. "How can you say that? You don't even know what happened."

"If they don't, there is no hope for the rest of us."

Killian reluctantly chuckled. "I said something similar to Dave once."

"Well, I'm guessing because you see how much in love they are. It's the same thing I see between you and Emma. You're lucky. Not all of us get a chance to experience it."

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Emma had avoided Killian when he came home on Tuesday. She had left his dinner in the oven, the one she had ordered from Granny's, and then headed to Elsa's to spend the night. Killian had called her cell phone every single hour from the time his plane touched down, leaving voicemails begging her to talk to him. _Why should she talk to him_? He was no different from Neal. Killian seemed to think it was okay to cheat on her whenever a woman took his fancy and Emma wasn't around to catch him. What scared her more than anything was that he would tell her that things between them were over. She had come to care for him and that thought was breaking her heart. Reluctantly, she left him a voicemail at work agreeing to meet him for lunch the next day.

So, here she was on Valentine's Day, the day she had looked forward to for almost a month, dreading her meeting with Killian. She pulled into the parking lot of Killian's office and slowly got out of the car, practically dragging her feet to get to his office. Emma was not looking forward to finding someplace new to live once he kicked her out of his house or she felt compelled to leave. Sighing, Emma opened the door to talk to his receptionist.

Killian knew he was expecting Emma at any time now to have lunch. He needed to explain to her what had happened the other night. But first, he needed to get these blueprints over to Tink so she could sign off on them.

"Tink?" Killian pushed into her office after she hadn't answered her door when he knocked. "You here?" 

"Killian? Thank God. Get in here and help me," Tink called from inside the storage closet that was connected to her office.

Killian threw the blueprints on Tink's desk and went over to where Tink called. As he entered, he asked, "What the bloody hell are you doing?" 

"I'm stuck. Now are you going to help me or not?" Tink pointed to the metal shelf where her silk blouse was caught on a screw above her head. She was standing tippy-toed on the overturned stepstool, struggling to get free.

"Do I even want to know how you accomplished that?" Killian asked with a grin as he assessed the situation further.

"If you must know, I was trying to get a blueprint. Someone put it on the top shelf. As I was getting down the stepstool became unbalanced. I scrambled to hang on as I was falling and my shirt got caught. Now are you going to help me or just stand there laughing?"

"Hmm. I can pull it down but it might rip."

"I swear, Killian Jones, you rip my one hundred and fifty dollar designer blouse, that I just purchased in New York, and I will kill you with my bare hands once I'm free." Tink glared down at him.

"Who spends that much money on a shirt?"

"Did you miss the part where I said designer? Now shut up and get me down."

"Okay." Killian slid over to Tink, reaching over her head to try to reach the screw. "Stop wiggling or it won't work."

"I'm not wiggling. You knocked my foot off the stool."

Killian glanced down and aided her in righting her foot before grinning up at her. "Sorry."

Emma had been directed to Tink's office. Killian's personal assistant had insisted that was where she would be able to find him. However, when Emma knocked no one answered and the door swung open to reveal no one in there. Emma was about to leave when she heard Tink giggle. Uncertain as to what she heard, Emma walked slowly into the office.

"That tickles. Stop," Tink laughed.

"Not my fault you're so ticklish," Killian growled.

Emma's mouth dropped open. What were they doing? The voices were coming from a separate door, to what appeared to be a storage area if the shelving Emma could see was any indication.

"C'mon, Killian, hurry up. You're almost there."

"Stop rushing me, Tink."

"Pull it out already."

"Love, this stuff takes time."

Emma felt her knees begin to buckle. She leaned back on Tink's desk shocked by what she was hearing. Emma had suspected that Tink and Killian may have resumed their relationship during their conference tour but she never pictured she would walk in on the two of them.

"God, Killian. Please, I can't take it." 

"Alright." Killian was breathing heavy. "I'm about there." Killian groaned. "Bloody hell, Tink. What are you doing?"

"Getting the damn thing off already."

A loud crash sounded, along with Tink screaming and Killian groaning in what sounded like pain, while Emma jumped. She looked around Tink's office but there was nowhere for Emma to hide. Killian exited the closet, straightening his sleeves and hair. His shirt was partially opened, hanging loose from his pants and his tie was undone. Tink followed him out, buttoning up her gaping blouse and straightening her skirt.

Tink noticed her first. "Emma?"

"Bloody hell, this can't be happening," Killian groaned.

"Hi," Emma squeaked, blood rushing to her cheeks. "Were you two…?"

"No," Tink said vehemently as she glanced between Emma and Killian.

Emma stared at Killian who seemed to be avoiding her as he straightened the rest of his clothes. "Killian?"

Tink slapped him hard in the chest. "My shirt was stuck. He was trying to get me down from the shelf."

Emma didn't know what to believe. If Killian denied it. If she hadn't called him the other night. If she had arrived five minutes later. "I need to go."

"What about lunch?" Killian inquired finally meeting her eyes.

"Maybe some other time." Emma turned to leave. She no longer wanted to hear excuses or explanations, she needed to leave so she could process what might happen from here.

Killian must have raced out of the office because he was suddenly next to her, grabbing her arm. "Wait."

Emma was trying really hard to hold back her tears, almost unsuccessfully. "I understand. It was only a matter of time before I found out anyway. I'll start packing this afternoon and be out by tonight."

"Emma, it's not like that." He ran his hand through his hair. "Tink really was stuck. I was helping her. And the other night…"

Emma held up a hand stopping him. "I don't care, Killian. That's the sad part. My heart has been so battered and bruised that it doesn't matter anymore." She pulled from his grip. "Thank you for letting me stay with you. I'll be out of your hair by tonight."

"You'll do no such thing."

Emma glared at him, her hands on her hips. "Don't you dare tell me what to do. You have no right."

"Bloody hell, Emma." He raked his hands through his hair and over his face. "I love you. Don't you get that?"

Emma gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Because people mean it when they're screaming it at you."

Killian's eyes narrowed on her, his jaw ticking his agitation. So intent on his face, Emma never saw his arm snake out and wrap around her waist. He pulled her tight to him and walked forward until her back was pressed against the wall between offices. His mouth crashed down on hers.

"Kiss me, damn it," he growled against her lips.

"I'm sorry but I can't." A tear slipped down from her eye.

His forehead rested on hers as he searched her face. "Please, Emma. Please believe me. Stay with me."

Emma shook her head. If she tried to talk, the floodgates would open and she would be crying before she even reached her car.

He let her go but remained pressed from chest to hips against her. "Please."

Emma shimmied to the side, choking back the sobs. "I need some time to think and I can't do it here, with you. Not right now. I hope you understand. Thank you for helping me, Killian. I'll never forget…I'll never forget you."

Turning, she walked as quickly as she could out of his office. Tears streamed down her face but she refused to swipe them away because she could feel Killian's eyes on her. As Emma sat in her car crying she realized she was never meant to be loved. Not one person in her life ever decided she was worth the effort. Killian sure wasn't running after her trying to get her back. He let her leave.

While she packed she waited for her phone to ring but it never did. As she loaded the Bug with what little possessions she owned, she hesitated waiting for Killian to pull into his driveway. He never did. And as Emma drove to Boston, begging Ruby for a place to stay, she knew for the first time that things between her and Killian were well and truly over.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: **A huge thank you to my beta, who has been trying to juggle a lot on her plate and still manages to get these chapters to you as perfect as can be. Thank you Aimeeloren, you are the best and not just because you are the best beta ever (no one else is allowed to have you, I will fight for you) but because you give me the greatest of support. And another thank you to Stephanie, Just4FunVids925 (YouTube), not only do you create great videos, you make me smile and for that I will always be appreciative.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 24 – I Know Where You Hide Alone In Your Car:**

It had been three years, two months and five days since Killian had allowed himself to stand at Tink's office window and stare down at the parking lot. The last time he had he watched Emma sitting alone in her car crying before finally pulling away and out of his life. It was the last time he had ever seen or heard from her. Not that he was counting. _Ha_! If he was Pinocchio, he'd have a nose as tall and thick as the Redwoods in California with all the lies he told to himself and others about not missing Emma.

"Tink told me I'd find you here."

Killian watched David Nolan's reflection enter Tink's office. "And here I am."

"When are you going to make an honest woman out of her?"

"She proposed to me." Killian turned and faced his friend. "Maybe you should have asked her when she was going to make an honest man out of me."

It had been over a month since Tink proposed a new merger to their company, a marriage between the two of them. They both knew they were each in love with someone else. Someone neither one of them could have. In Tink's case it was Peter. And in Killian's… well he was still in denial. Hell, they probably both were. He and Tink had been leaning on each other for the past year, spending more and more time together, which is why her marriage proposal seemed as good an idea as any.

"She's not coming back."

Killian shot a sideways look back out the window. "I know."

Dave smiled at him. "You didn't let me finish. She's not coming back if you don't convince her."

"I'm not about to chase her, mate."

"It's not always about chasing her. It's about finding her."

"I know where Emma is. Just as she knows where I am."

David perched on Tink's desk and crossed his arms, studying Killian. "I'm heading to Boston. I want you to come with me."

"I don't know if I can fit it in my schedule." Killian fiddled with his phone, pretending to look up what he needed to do. "When are you leaving?"

"Now."

Killian glanced up and raised his eyebrow. "Not much notice there, Dave. Anyway, what would I say to Tink?"

"You'd tell me you love me but not in love with me, kiss me on the cheek and thank me for packing your suitcase."

Killian and David both turned to Tink standing in the doorway of her office. At her feet was a large black duffel bag.

"Tink, I…"

She stepped around the luggage and walked up to Killian. "It's okay. I know why David want you to go to Boston. It's for Emma."

Killian opened his mouth to deny it but nothing came out. Tink placed a finger over his lips. "I love you too much to see you like this, Killian. The two of you need to talk and one of you needs to take the first step. Show her you're brave enough to do it."

Sweeping Tink up in his arms, Killian hugged her. "I love you, Tink. I swear you are my best friend."

"Hey!"

Killian set Tink down and smiled at Dave. "You are too."

David stood and went to grab Killian's bag. "You ready to go?"

Killian watched Tink nod, before answering with a grin. "Aye."

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If David made one more kissy sound to his wife over the phone, Killian was going to be sick. He never thought so before but maybe there was such a thing as being too much in love. Grabbing his coat, Killian headed for the door of the hotel room the men shared.

David looked up at him in confusion. "Where are you going?"

"To grab a coffee. That way you can make love to your wife over the phone as much as you want without me having to listen to it."

"There's a pretty good diner right down the road. I grab breakfast there whenever I have to come into the city," David informed him, holding his phone to his shoulder.

Killian nodded his acknowledgement and headed out the door. He grabbed a paper from the front desk of the hotel and walked to the diner Dave had talked about. Killian took a seat at the counter and ordered a coffee. Not sure how long he needed to be there, he opened the paper and began to read.

Emma had a crappy day from the moment she woke up. She had been late to work, which meant she had to work through her lunch hour or else she would have had to stay late. If she did she wouldn't have had a chance to grab some dinner before her class tonight. All she wanted right now was a strong drink and some food, in that order.

Without thinking, Emma drove to the diner she and Ruby used to work at. It was as good a place as any to satisfy her hunger. She went inside and ordered a Scotch. Emma drank in down in one swallow. Turning, she looked around and blinked, hard.

Killian Jones was actually sitting down the counter from her. The guy she had walked away from. The man who wouldn't let any other relationship mean more to her than a meaningless fling. Why was he in Boston? More importantly, why was he in this diner? 

He must have sensed her scrutiny because he looked over at her, a smile spreading slowly across his face. Killian didn't move, almost as if waiting for her to take the first step. Emma complied, rising from her seat and walking down the counter to where he sat with his coffee and newspaper.

"Hello, Killian."

"Emma." He nodded at her. For some reason, Emma sensed he was going to make it difficult.

"How are you?"

Killian turned on his chair to face her. "I've been good. Mary-Margaret mentioned you were finishing school down here."

"Yes. I'm in my last semester. I graduate next month."

He motioned to a small table where a couple just vacated. "Would you like to sit?"

Emma nodded and the two of them proceeded to the table. Cindy, a lovely blonde girl that Emma and Ruby had become friends with, was working that day and took their orders. After she left the two of them sat in silence.

"What are you doing here?" Emma finally asked.

"Just came with Dave. He had some business in town."

Emma tilted her head and gave him a small smile. "You expect me to believe that?"

Killian shrugged. "You've always believed the worst in me anyway. You wanted to believe that I was like Neal, so I was."

"I never compared you to Neal."

Cindy came back with a pie for Killian and a grilled cheese and fries for Emma, along with some coffees. They thanked her as she turned to leave. Killian leaned back in his chair and fiddled with is coffee cup.

"Didn't you?"

"Didn't I what?" Emma asked around a bite of grilled cheese.

"Compare me to Neal. That's why you left, isn't it? You learned Neal had cheated on you, so you automatically assumed I did too."

"I repeat, I never compared you to Neal." Emma glared at him. Grabbing her cup of coffee, she mumbled, "I may have compared him to you though."

Killian sat up straighter. "What was that?"

"I compared him to you." Emma set her cup down and stared Killian in the eye. "Happy now, because I can continue. Every guy I've met since you hasn't lived up. Not that they haven't tried."

"Emma…" Killian reached out to her across the table.

"Killian. There you are." 

Emma looked up and saw David Nolan approaching their table. She glanced over at Killian who had turned to greet his friend.

"Emma. Great to see you." David leaned down and kissed Emma's cheek. "Mary-Margaret will be disappointed that she missed you."

Emma smiled at David as he grabbed a chair and pulled it up to their table. "I promised I'd come visit sometime soon after classes were over."

"Glad to hear it. We'd love to have you."

Emma took a few more quick bites of her sandwich. "I better go." Emma began to pull out some money from her pocket to pay for her food but David laid a hand on her arm and shook his head. She smiled her thanks. "It was great seeing you both. I have a class I need to get ready for. Tell Mary-Margaret I'll call her."

"Emma, wait." Killian stood. "Let me walk you to your car."

"I'll be fine."

"I insist," he said as his gaze locked on hers challenging her.

"Fine," she relented with a sigh.

Being parked right outside the door, their walk wasn't very long. She unlocked her door but he leaned on it with his arms crossed before she could open it. "I missed you."

She glared at him, her eyes accusatory. "If you've missed me so much how come I haven't seen or heard from you until now?"

He stood up straight and approached her, both of them mere inches apart. "You pushed me away, not the other way around. I gave you the space and time you requested."

Emma shuffled her feet staring down at the ground unable to look into Killian's searching gaze. "Thank you."

"Bloody hell, Emma. I don't want your thanks. I want you." He grabbed her by the shoulders and Emma could sense he wanted to shake her.

Her eyes rose to look into the blue depths of his. Those eyes haunted her dreams. At times she would look into the mirror and see his face reflected back at her, taunting her for letting him go.

"What about your engagement to Tink?"

"Damn it." He let her go abruptly and her body missed the small amount of warmth his hands provided. "Let me guess, Mary-Margaret told you."

Emma shook her head. "No. She didn't tell me."

Killian raked his hand through his hair, then tugged at his ear. "How did you find out?"

"Tink."

"Tink?" Emma nodded. "Tink called you?"

"I called her," Emma told him. "It was about a month or so ago. She said if I refused to come back to Storybrooke and find out about your well-being myself, you might be off the market." Emma went to lean on her car as Killian paced. "I asked who you've been seeing since she didn't mention anything all the other times I called."

He stopped and stared at her. "You called her more than once?"

"Every other month since I left." 

"She never said…"

"I asked her not to. Then she told me you were engaged. I knew then there was no point in calling again. It would be pretty stupid to keep doing so when I knew you and her are engaged."

Killian stood directly in front of her. "It makes sense now. You're the reason she proposed. She wanted to see if you would come back and if I would give up on you enough to say yes."

"She proposed to you?" Killian nodded. "Why did you say yes?"

"You hadn't come back."

"It doesn't matter now anyway." Emma turned toward her car and fumbled with the door. He placed his hand on the glass of the door and with his other hand turned her back around to face him.

When she was turned back toward him, Killian grasped her chin and her teary eyes met his. "She told me to come to Boston with Dave. Tink packed my bag. She told me to find you."

"She did?" Emma whispered.

"Aye."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because she knows I love you. And as perceptive as Tink is I wouldn't doubt that she knows you might share the feeling." He looked deeply into her eyes. "You did say you were the one who kept calling to check up on me."

Emma dropped his gaze but he wouldn't let her turn her head away from him, his grip tightening on her chin.

"Emma? You do care don't you?" His voice came out slightly pleading.

"Yes, damn it. I do care." She met his blue eyes straight on. "Okay. I admit it. I've always cared."

She began to pull away from him. His hand dropped from her chin to her waist.

"You know at some point you're going to have to trust me."

"Is that what you think this is about? That I don't trust you?"

"Isn't that what this is about?"

"Of course, I trust you. I just don't trust my track record with men. Every one of them has left me. My father, Neal…"

"Me."

"You."

"I'm sorry. I really was trying to give you your space. I waited every day for you to come back. I had to have checked my phone and email at least two dozen times per day waiting for you tell me you were coming back. There was nothing. The only thing I received from you was the phone that you sent back to me and even then there wasn't a note."

Emma reached up and cupped his face. "Over the past years, I've learned that I'm a hard person to love."

"No, you're not." Killian shook his head. "It's the walls you put up that cause people to shy away from you." He gave a small chuckle. "Trust me, I know all about walls. I've built quite a few of my own."

"You don't have any walls."

Killian pushed a strand of her hair over her shoulder. "That's because you decided to come in before I realized I need to erect any."

Emma knew he was going to kiss her before he even moved. They understood each other so well. And when he dipped his head and pressed a soft kiss upon her lips, it wasn't enough. Emma latched on and devoured his mouth with her own, her hands tangling in his hair which had grown longer.

"You two need to get a room." 

"Shut up, Dave and give me the key," Killian growled.

David chuckled. "Sorry, can't. Emma needs to get to class, remember?"

Emma smiled over Killian's tense shoulders at David. "Yes, I do." She reached up and held onto Killian's cheek, brushing her thumb along his jaw line. "We'll talk later."

He nodded solemnly and stepped away so she could get in her car. She waved at both of them as she pulled out of the diner's parking lot, wishing things could have been different because when she did talk to Killian she had to tell him that she couldn't come to Storybrooke yet. She had something she needed to finish and it wasn't just school.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: **I would like to thank everyone who helps make this story possible, aimeeloren, for beta'ing amongst her busy schedule. Her family for allowing her the time to do it. My family for giving me the opportunity to have some alone time to get my story written. And to Stephanie, with Just4FunVids925 (YouTube), who with her also hectic schedule, finds the time to give us great Captain Swan videos like Unsteady and Trouble, as well as beta'ing my story True North and giving me her insight on this story as well. Thank you everyone. It means the world to me.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this story. They belong to the franchise of OUAT.

**Chapter 25 – Know All The Things That Make You Who You Are:**

It had already been a week since David and Killian headed back to Storybrooke. In that time Emma realized how much she had missed Killian. The day after the diner incident, the two of them had a long discussion over events that happened in the past. While Emma wasn't in a rush to jump back into a relationship with Killian, she knew she had missed his friendship and that how they finally parted, friends.

One topic of conversation that hadn't come up was Emma's investigation into Liam's death. A few months ago, Tamara, Neal's ex, approached her with a file. Tamara had hoped that it would lead Emma to take steps to have Neal arrested. In it was pertinent information that Liam's death had definitely not been an accident. Tamara had been disappointed to discover that Neal did not have anything to do with the matter. Emma, however, knowing how important it was to Killian, had gone on from there to try to find as much information as she could regarding the matter.

Sitting on her bed, Emma was surrounded by papers and files containing all of the information she had been able to ascertain. There had to be a lead somewhere admist all of this, Emma was sure of it.

"Emma!"

Glancing up from the paper she was reading, Emma heard her name called again. Emma jumped off the bed and raced to her open window. Tamara was down below, walking up the sidewalk to Emma's apartment waving a folder.

Emma buzzed the dark-skinned woman in and waited at the door for her to arrive. Neal's ex-wife, Milah's former personal assistant, had a humongous grin on her face as she approached.

"I've found it. The final piece to the puzzle."

"Let me see." Emma reached out and took the offered folder, letting Tamara inside. After a brief review, a sly smile spread across Emma's features. "How did you get this?"

"I found it with some of the crap that Neal never cleaned out of the storage locker."

"I don't even want to know," Emma mumbled as she walked over to her other papers strewn over her bed.

"No, you really don't. Castration would be too lenient for that bastard." Tamara settled heavily onto a chair. "The judge who signed off on our divorce papers even apologized for all of mankind after our case."

"That's pretty sad."

"Actually," Tamara said with a smile. "He and I ran into each other last week. He asked me out." 

"Wow."

Tamara blushed. "Yeah, I know. After being screwed over by Neal I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go out with another man for a while but Greg, that's the judge's name, is rather nice. He's a food blogger in his spare time."

"A guy who actually upholds the law. You're at least moving up in the world," Emma said with a laugh.

"So are you." 

Emma sighed. "Yeah, well, I guess after dealing with Neal the only place to go is up."

"If it wasn't only ten in the morning, I'd say let's toast to that." 

"Speaking of, don't you have to be at work?"

"I was fired yesterday after Neal made an unexpected visit. He was trying to convince me to come back to him for the past week, constantly showing up at work. When I didn't agree that it would be a good idea yesterday, my boss showed up to ask if I would like to have Neal removed. I agreed and security was called. He started saying he was going to come back for me and all the people who stood in his way were going to go down too. I think my boss got scared and asked me to leave, promising me a glowing recommendation if I would just go work somewhere else. I can't believe after all that Neal actually thought I would go back to him, especially after all I went through to get the divorce in the first place," Tamara scoffed. "And after scaring my boss and getting my fired because of his crazy ass antics, I went to the police station and asked for a restraining order."

"So, I'm not the only one he's tried that crap on."

Tamara shook her head. "And I'm sure I'm not the last either." She looked at her watch. "I do have to go. I'm supposed to meet some friends across town for an early lunch. Then I have an interview at one."

"Good luck, Tamara. And thanks." Emma held up the file Tamara had brought with her.

"You're welcome. Glad it helps. Too bad there really isn't anyone to go after though."

"I think Killian would rather have the closure no matter how much it's going to hurt."

"Well, good luck," Tamara told Emma before she took her leave.

"You, too."

Emma crossed her legs, sitting on her bed, and reopened the folder after Tamara closed the door. She hoped that she could figure out a way to soften the blow. Killian was going to take it hard when he found out exactly who caused Liam's death.

CSCSCSCSCS

Killian looked forward to Emma's visit in a few weeks. She hadn't made any plans as of yet to move back to Storybrooke but Killian hoped that between him and Mary-Margaret they could convince her.

Looking over at his office phone, he wished he could call her. They hadn't progressed that far yet. They may have admitted they still cared about each other and resumed a sort of tentative friendship but there was still a lot to work out. Over three years of their lives had passed and a lot of changes had happened.

"Good, you're still here."

Killian turned his head to see Tink enter his office. She'd been gone when he returned to Storybrooke from Boston. They had a project coming up in Portland, Maine that she had been working on on-site creating design layouts and blueprints for.

"Where else would I be?"

Tink tapped an overly dramatic finger to her mouth. "Hmm. Six o'clock on a Friday night. If I were you, I'd be on the interstate on my way to Boston."

Lowering his eyes, he gave her a stern look, which she dismissed. "Sit down, Tink. We need to talk."

"Oh. Sounds serious," she teased as she plopped down in one of his guest chairs, unmindful of her sea-green silk blouse and perfectly pressed black slacks.

"About us getting married…"

"Are we?" She glanced up at him innocently and shrugged. "Honestly, I was thinking for a while there we'd have the longest engagement in history."

"So, you never had any intention…"

"Of marrying you? No." At his glower she waved a hand as if it didn't matter. "Don't get me wrong, Killian, but I was half hoping when I actually said 'I do' the guy I was marrying wouldn't be in love with someone else."

Killian rose from his chair and walked around his desk to perch on the edge. "Why didn't you tell me she called?"

Once again, Tink tried to look innocent but Killian knew better. "There are a lot of _shes_ in the world, would you mind specifying which one you are referring to?"

"Emma, damn it. You know bloody well she called and you never told me."

Tink shrugged one shoulder. "She asked me not to."

Killian threw his hands up in the air in frustration and rose from his desk. "Well, then. I'm glad you're just my employee and the two of you are such great friends. Next thing I know I'll discover the two of you in your office giggling and braiding each other's hair."

Tink patted her blonde hair. "Braids are not exactly my thing."

"Not the point, Tink."

"What is the point, Killian?"

"Emma called and you never said a word."

Tink stood and walked over to him. "I think you're pissed because you didn't think of it. So, yeah, Emma gave a crap about you. You, however, seemed content to wallow in your misery. Poor Killian who loses everyone he's ever cared for. Well, Emma isn't dead; she was in Boston. Love isn't easy but it should be fought for. And, you," Tink jabbed a finger into Killian's chest, "decided it was easier to just turn your back on it. So, no, I didn't tell you she called because you didn't deserve to know."

With one last glare, Tink turned and began to stalk out of his office.

"Tink?"

"Yeah?" she threw over her shoulder as she reached the door.

"Thanks for kicking me in the arse."

Tink smiled over her shoulder at him. "You're welcome. It's because of that I make sure to wear comfortable shoes every time I come to work."

Killian glanced down at Tink's pink stilettos. "They don't look comfortable."

Tink held out a foot. "To me they are. Go home, Killian. I'll see you on Monday."

"I thought we were having dinner tomorrow."

"I made other plans." 

Killian strolled over to Tink. "With who?"

She smirked at him. "Please, Killian. It's not like you're jealous."

"Still."

"I'm going out with some girlfriends for a bachelorette party."

A grin spread over Killian's face. It was at that exact moment that he knew whatever plans he and Tink had for their future were something that had been fabricated for his benefit, and maybe, Emma's. "Have fun."

"I plan to."

Killian leaned against the doorjamb of his office and watched Tink walk down the hall. He was alone again. For the first time in a long time, it didn't seem so bad.

CSCSCSCS

Emma watched Ruby look over the file folders filled with the papers Emma collected on Liam's death. Sitting in Ruby's apartment, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to share what happened to someone else, if only to practice what she would have to say to Killian. Of course the folder that contained the most damaging of information still remained in her bag. There were certain things that only Killian should be privy to.

Glancing up, Ruby asked with a frown, "You're going to Storybrooke to tell him, aren't you?"

"Of course, I am."

"When?"

Emma sighed and sat heavily in the kitchen chair across from Ruby. "I don't know."

"The sooner the better."

Emma cradled her head in her hands, as she rested her elbows on the table in front of her. "I know. I just need to figure out how. That's why I came here."

"Just give him the folders, Emma," Graham said as he walked into the room after checking on their dinner. He and Ruby had moved into their new house earlier this month. Graham and Ruby had been dating for a year before he popped the question on Christmas morning. Ruby wasted no time after that to search out the home of their dreams. He laid his hands on Ruby's shoulders, looking at the information in front of them. "I know I'd rather read it myself than let someone deliver the death blow."

"I agree," Ruby chimed in smiling up at her fiancé. "But, do it soon. He deserves to know."

"This sucks." Emma folded her arms on the table and laid her head atop them.

"You wanted to help find the truth," Graham told her. "You could have left it alone."

Emma raised her head and looked up at the couple. "Not after Tamara brought the original folder to my apartment. I know she was trying to get back at Neal, but after I read about how Liam really died..." She choked up. "I…I just had to find out the truth. And I knew that Tamara was my best bet on discovering it."

"That proved to be true," Graham observed waving at the paperwork before them.

"My question is, why didn't Killian or his team of investigators look into her?" Ruby asked curiously.

The three of them looked at each other. Then Graham spoke up. "I would like to believe that he thinks like I would. That the woman I married wouldn't have been manipulative enough to have my brother killed and then hold my hand as I grieved not saying a word. The same woman who married him less than a year after she ordered for Liam to die for finding out the truth about her company's secrets."

Emma sighed, knowing that her friends didn't know even have the whole truth. "My thoughts exactly."

"Still doesn't change the fact that he's going to be devastated by the news, Emma." Ruby reached out across the table and held onto Emma's hand. "Maybe you should mail it to him anonymously."

"No. I need to be the one to tell him." Emma shook her head. "I don't know why but I need to be the one to do it."

Graham nodded his approval. "Maybe it's for the best."

"Why don't you call Mary-Margaret and David and have them meet you there? They can give you both support."

"No. Killian won't want anyone else to know."

"Then why did you tell us?" Ruby inquired.

"I had to tell _someone_." Emma rose from her chair and began to compile the papers back into order inside their folders. "I needed to know that I can do this."

Graham walked over to her and hugged her. "You can do this, Emma. You can do just about anything. But, my advice, don't sit on this too long. If you found this out, then someone else might be able to. And I think Killian would much rather hear it from you than a stranger."

"Thanks, Graham." Emma smiled up at him and stepped out of his embrace. "I appreciate the vote of confidence. I need to go."

"Emma…"

Emma turned to Ruby. "Yes?"

"Do it this weekend. Don't wait until you after you graduate."

Emma nodded. "I'll leave first thing in the morning."


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: **As I write this we are now officially on hiatus from our favorite show, Once Upon A Time. Season 4 had a lot of ups and downs, but it also provided us with some wonderful CS moments. I hope that you enjoyed them as much as I did. If you haven't had the opportunity to watch Season 4, I hope you enjoy it when you do get a chance. Another huge thank you to my beta, aimeeloren, for making sure that this chapter is the best it can be. And to Stephanie, who created the video this story is based on. I apologize for taking so long to post this chapter but I have been really sick all week long. I am happy that I already had this previously written and beta'd in enough time to post this at all. If I had to count on me writing fresh for this week, I would not have had a chapter for you at all.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 26 – I Know That Goodbye Means Nothing At All: **

Emma couldn't believe she was doing this. Taking a deep breath, Emma steeled herself for her first meeting with Killian since learning the truth about who killed Liam. Hell, this could go fifty shades of wrong. Lifting her hand, she knocked on Killian's front door, wishing she could leave the files on his doorstep and run.

Killian no sooner opened the door then Emma blurted out, "We need to talk."

"When a woman says that I've found I'm rarely in for a pleasant conversation." Killian waved her inside. "Come in."

Emma walked inside but stopped in the entryway watching Killian close the front door behind them. He turned toward her, his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans. Shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, Emma debated how to begin. 'Milah killed Liam' wasn't the best ice breaker.

"You look good," Killian said to finally break the lingering silence between them.

Emma ducked her head before looking back up at him. "Thank you."

"Would you like to go to the living room and sit down?"

"Not really but you might."

He gave her a quizzical look before he led her over to where they could sit. Killian settled on his couch and waited.

When Emma began to pace but not say anything, Killian began to worry. "What happened?"

"Nothing." She gave him a guarded look but at least she stopped pacing and sat across from him on the loveseat. "Actually…"

"You can tell me anything, Emma. Go ahead."

"No, I can't."

Killian stood and walked around his coffee table so he could sit next to her. He took one of her hands in his own. "Emma?"

"Graham's right. I can't do this." She abruptly stood, forcing Killian to let go of her.

Before he could even ask what her friend Graham was right about, she left. He followed her out of his house and watched her go to her car. If she wasn't stooped inside the opened passenger side door retrieving something, he would have thought she was leaving without telling him a thing.

He leaned against the railing of his front porch as Emma returned carrying a leather satchel. Killian might have been unsettled about what Emma wanted to tell him but he couldn't help looking her over. Emma's tight blue jeans accented her in all the right places. When she was bent over in her car, his mind imagined his hands tucked inside her back pockets as he pressed her against his hard length, devouring her mouth with his own. Her black t-shirt under her dark red jacket only accented her pale hair and skin, making him wish he could touch her as he once had. Gods, he wanted this woman. Killian's erection grew heavy in his jeans, begging for release.

Emma came closer and Killian knew he couldn't hide behind the railing forever. Balling up his hands he shoved them into his pockets to avoid Emma noticing just how much her presence excited him. It also kept him from reaching out and hauling her into his arms for the kiss he'd been dying to give her since the last time they met.

He followed her back into his house, kicking the front door closed behind them. When he entered his living room, Emma was removing file folders and lining them up on his coffee table. She had never come off as a neat freak but Emma seemed borderline obsessive over how they were placed.

When she finally glanced his way, she patted the spot on the couch next to her. "Sit. Please."

Killian complied, becoming edgy over her wary tone. "What's this?" 

"Something you need to read."

Killian began to reach for a file until she stopped him. He looked over at her and saw a worried frown creasing her face.

"Not yet," she told him. "Are you still trying to find out how Liam died?"

Killian shook his head. "I gave up a year ago. There haven't been any new leads for years. Why did you find something?"

Her head dipped. Her eyes found a spot of interest on his hardwood floor. "Would you want to know even if it may not be what you want to hear?"

Killian turned toward her and grasped her chin, raising her face. "What aren't you telling me, Emma?"

"Don't make me tell you, Killian," she pleaded with tears in her eyes. "It's all right there." She waved at the papers on the table. "If I were you, I'd start in order from left to right."

She rose and he let her go. "I just want to tell you one thing." He gazed up at her waiting to hear what she wanted to say. "Tamara, your wife's personal assistant, got these from Neal. They had been married and after their divorce, she thought I'd help her get back at him with these. Instead, after I discovered it was about Liam's death, I did all I could to find out as much as possible. The last folder is the one she brought me yesterday morning. If you really don't care about who was responsible for Liam's death, don't read it. Maybe the rest will give you enough closure."

"So, you're saying I shouldn't look inside the last folder?"

Emma shook her head. "No. I'm asking you not to read it."

A corner of his mouth quirked up. "You know, if you want someone not to read something, you shouldn't make it so intriguing."

"Please, Killian. Please don't read the last one." Emma dropped to her knees and held his hands. "It'll hurt you more than Liam's death ever did."

"Liam's death has haunted me for almost a decade."

"I know."

He leaned toward her, wrapping her in his arms. "I can't promise you that I won't read it, Emma."

"Then, I'm sorry." She pushed back from him and stood.

"Can you stay while I read?" he asked her as she began to head for the door.

She turned back to him. "I'd rather not."

"Because you know what's in there." 

She nodded, her fingers tanging together. He could feel her nervous energy as she tried to slowly back out of the room.

"Please," he begged, which he rarely did. "Just while I read the first part. After that we'll go from there."

Killian watched as she began to think over his proposition. With a small sigh, she lowered her eyes for a brief second. A smile spread over Killian's face as she came back and sat down next to him.

"Only the first folder and then I need to go."

"Agreed."

Emma should have never stayed. One folder led to another than another. As Killian read, his hand slipped into hers seeking support. She could tell a few times that he held back tears as his spine stiffened. Being an orphan, Emma would never feel the pain of loss over a family member but she suspected it must be hard.

When all that was left was the final folder, he turned toward her. Emma wrapped Killian in her arms. To find out your brother was killed because he found out the head of the company may be corrupt was hard. Liam died because he had wanted to expose the company for hiring depraved captains to smuggle girls into the United States and England from Eastern Europe to sell into slavery. When Liam was offered a quarter of a million dollars up front for a special trip to pick up and deliver women from India on his own ship, he was appalled. Liam had turned it down and began his own investigation into how high up in the company the corruption ran.

Killian pulled back and Emma ignored the errant tear running down his face, not wanting to embarrass such a proud man by wiping it away. He gave her a brief smile of thanks.

"Emma…"

"Yes?"

"I need to know what is in that last folder."

Emma took a deep breath. "Let's just say that the head of the company was well aware of what was happening and arranged to have Liam killed." Emma picked up the manila folder and held it to her chest. "Now, can we burn this and forget all about it?"

"No."

"Damn it, Killian. You don't want to know what's in here."

"Liam's killer should be brought to justice," he told her gruffly.

"She's already dead," Emma blurted out. She could feel her eyes grow wide in shock as to what she had revealed. Emma covered her mouth with the file folder, hoping it would prevent her from saying anything else.

"Who was it, Emma? You said that almost as if I would know who _she_ was."

Emma rose and backed away. "I can't. I can't be the one to tell you."

"Then give me the bloody folder," he demanded. For once in all the time Emma had known Killian, she was scared.

Killian stood and stalked over to where she had escaped. He held out his hand. "Give me the folder, Emma."

She shook her head. "I don't want to hurt you and if I give you this that is exactly what will happen."

He rocked back on his heels and took in Emma's heartbroken face. Killian understood her reasoning but he had to know who was behind Liam's murder. In his own way, he had always suspected Gold had a hand in it but Emma had said _she_. So, it couldn't be Gold.

But then, the papers had been in Tamara and Neal's possession. _How would they get them_? _What_ she _did_ _they_ _know_ _who_ _would_ _be_ _tied_ _to_ _Liam_? Suddenly, it hit Killian like a freight train. _Milah_.

"My wife killed Liam?" he asked incredulously, already knowing the answer.

"Killian, I…"

"Yes or No, Emma?"

"I can't…"

"Get out," he tried not to scream but his voice came out gruff. His jaw was clenching uncontrollably.

"But…" 

"Get out and leave the folder, Emma."

She walked past him and set the folder back on the coffee table. He watched her open her mouth to say something before she turned and walked out of his house.

Killian walked over and picked up the folder Emma had been so protective of. Flipping it open, the first words he noticed was his wife's name as owner of Mist Haven Shipping.

He sat down and perused the papers. Inside there were letters Liam wrote to her begging her to investigate the matter of slave trading. There was also a fax to a woman named Zelena, asking her to eradicate the problem of a snitch within the company. _Zelena_. Liam had told Killian the day he died about her. He had met her when he visited the United States on business. After a whirlwind romance that lasted about a month, while he was in port, Liam had decided he was in love. Liam showed Killian the ring he procured to propose the following week when he returned to the States. Killian had known his brother had met someone during his trip. However, his brother had always been somewhat secretive about his relationships. Killian long suspected because Liam wanted to be sure of someone before introducing her to his younger brother after all the people who had walked out of their lives. But before any of that could happen, Liam passed away. No, Liam had been murdered, just like Killian had always suspected.

Zelena had appeared at Killian and Liam's house bearing flowers and advice after Liam's death. She had been the one to encourage Killian to apply to the university in Storybrooke to finish his degree. To allow himself time to heal without having to face constant reminders of Liam every day.

Milah and Zelena had killed his brother. Milah had already met her own end. Killed as tragically as his brother. Fate somehow having a hand in dealing out retribution. But, Zelena… She was still out there somewhere. Killian knew he'd find her and have her pay for the loss of one of the greatest men Killian had ever known.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: **Slowly, we are coming to the end of the song and the end of the story. There are about six chapters left, give or take. I want to thank everyone who has come along for the ride. I also, wish to thank my beta who has stuck with me for this long expedition. Thank you so much aimeeloren. Also, thank you to Stephanie who created the video to inspire me to create this wonderful story. Thank you. All of you.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 27 – Comes Back And Begs Me To Catch Her Every Time She Falls:**

It all started when Killian took his first drink, not even ten minutes after he finished reading through the last file for the second time. One drink led to another then another. Until after three solid weeks of being in a drunken haze, Killian's mind began to clear. He didn't like the sobering feeling one bit. The alcohol kept the memories at bay. It held off the ghosts.

Rising carefully out of his bed, where he had passed out earlier that day, Killian automatically reached for the bottle on his nightstand. Discovering it empty, he threw it across the room and silently cheered and grimaced at the sound of splintering glass. Killian dug through the drawer of his nightstand and discovered, his last resort, his flask. It was the last bit of liquor in the house. He'd have to drag his bloody arse out and buy some more.

Killian took a large drag of the rum and groaned as it hit his empty belly. He couldn't recall the last time he ate. His stomach, realizing it was finally being thought of, grumbled. Apparently, he'd have to make something to eat before he made a trip to the liquor store.

Throwing on some clothes he found strewn over a chair in his room, he then headed downstairs. Killian held tight to the railing as he made his way down. He and the floor had already become fast friends multiple times over the past few weeks. Killian had no intention of making its acquaintance yet again.

Though sobering up was a cross he was willing to bear in order to obtain more liquor, he wasn't sure that he wasn't still imagining things. Making his way slowly to his living room he noticed the television was on. He couldn't remember leaving it on, let alone the last time he watched it, preferring the quiet over the last few weeks. Silence ensured that the ghosts weren't haunting him. Taunting him for not knowing and being naïve to what Milah was capable of.

Entering the living room, there were no lights on just the TV. But there was someone there. Long blonde hair spilled over the back of his couch. _Emma_? No, he kicked her out. She brought to light his stupidity and he made her leave. If he had been thinking straight, he never would have done it. It wasn't her fault. It was his. Killian should have seen through Milah's machinations but he didn't. He married the very woman who ordered his brother killed. He slept with her. He had hoped to have a future with her. It was all too much. Bloody hell, he needed another drink.

Shaking his thoughts away, he focused his eyes on the intruder who had made herself right at home on his couch. "Tink, what the bloody hell are you doing in my house?"

Tink looked up from where she had curled up on his couch. Her hand raised and paused whatever she had been watching. Killian walked over and recognized the movie. _Pirates_ _of_ _the_ _Caribbean_.

"Again?" he asked with a raised brow.

Tink shrugged one shoulder. "I happen to like this movie. Plus, I have it on good authority that Emma is impressed by Jack Sparrow's technique."

Killian really didn't know what of Tink's statement. Throwing his flask on the sideboard, Killian placed his hands on his hips. "Why do I get the impression you aren't referring to his sword skills?"

"Oh, he's quite good at that as well," Tink told him with a smile and a wink.

"Tink," Killian reprimanded with a chuckle, belittling his own gruff tone. His eyes narrowed as she suddenly remembered that she never said why she was there. Damn his fuzzy head. "You still didn't tell me why you are here."

"Didn't I?" She raised a questioning brow.

Killian glared at her. He didn't know if he wanted to throw her over his shoulder and evict her or hug her for being there when he needed her to be, even when he didn't want to admit it. "You know damn well you haven't."

"Hmm." She tapped a finger to her mouth in mock contemplation. "Must have slipped my mind." Tink waved at the TV. "Too much man candy makes my mind turn to mush."

Killian growled. He was getting absolutely nowhere with this woman.

"Oh, please," she said with a wave of her hand and a laugh. "You're as hot as they are and you know it. You just don't do it for me anymore. Even more so when you look like a semi-truck ran over you."

Killian threw his hands up in the air and stormed over to take a drink from his discarded flask. Tink confused him on his best days. There was no keeping up with her when his mind couldn't form a coherent quip to counteract her teasing. After a deep drink that left his flask half-empty, Tink snapped her fingers and sit up straighter on the couch drawing his attention back to her.

"Oh, right," she announced, before her voice turned stern, letting him know she was teasing only because she was about to lay into him. "I remember now. I'm here because you haven't left this house for three weeks. By the look and smell of you, I would guess that rum has become your closest friend and the shower your mortal enemy."

"Are you saying I stink?" he asked with an arched brow. Tink nodded at him. He almost took offense to that. "I bathe quite frequently. Thank you."

"Not recently, you haven't."

Killian tried to think of the last time he showered. It was much like the last time he ate. He couldn't remember. Maybe Tink had a point. Damn it, he hated when she had a point. "I needed time to think. If I had to forgo a few basic essentials, I think I'm allowed."

"Nope. You're wallowing. There's a difference." Tink pulled the file folders Emma brought out from under a pillow and slapped them on his coffee table. "I found the files. Quite interesting reading. I would have never suspected Milah would have been capable of what she did. Not that I really knew her outside of the one class I had with her."

Tink stood and faced him, throwing the remote on the couch where she had once sat. "But, news flash, Milah's dead. Liam's dead. You know who's alive?"

"Zelena?"

"You." Tink approached him, wrinkling her nose. "I think. The way you smell that may be called into question."

"Are you quite finished?"

"No, actually, I'm not." Tink started to jab a finger into his chest but pulled back at the last second and wiped her hand on the leg of her jeans. "I'm also alive. I'm your business partner, in case you've forgotten. P-A-R-T-N-E-R. Partner. I'm getting damn sick and tired of running the firm on my own. First after Emma left and you couldn't pull your head out of your ass for the next year. And now.

"I'm sick of it, Killian. I'm tired of picking you up. I want a life too. I'm entitled to it." Tink crossed her arms and glared up at him. "So, I'm giving you two weeks' to straighten up. Both of our personal assistants know I'm on vacation starting tomorrow. I'm going on a cruise during that time. If you remember, I told you about this a few months ago and we agreed to my time off. When I come back, I am going to hope that you have pulled your head out of your ass and put it firmly back on your shoulders, hopefully cleaner than it is now. If you haven't…"

"If I haven't…what?"

Tink's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "Then I have no choice but to quit."

"Quit? Quit what? Work? Being my friend?"

"Yes."

Killian rubbed his hands over his scruffy face. "Bloody hell, Tink. I need you."

"No, you don't. You need to believe you can survive. You've done it thus far. Now you need to do it without me being your crutch." Tink rested her hands on his shoulders and gave him a slight shake. "Now, I'm heading home. I happen to know a certain blonde has been staying in her car for the past two days. It's parked down the block. Can't miss it."

"There are a lot of blondes in this world. Care to be a bit more specific?" He really did try to sound casual. He didn't want it to sound like when he wasn't wallowing in his own misery, he was thinking about Emma.

Tink shoved him and glared. "Seriously?"

Killian gave her a quick grin but regretted it as it made his head ache. He was going to make Tink work for this after she pushed him. "You already mentioned rum has become my friend. It's not exactly catching up to me what you are implying."

"Emma, you bloody git. Emma's back in town." Tink gathered up her stuff and put her shoes on. "She was expecting to stay with David and Mary-Margaret but David had an emergency call earlier this week, according to your messages. Mary-Margaret decided to head out of town with him while he took care of the matter. They aren't expected to return to Storybrooke until at least the end of the week."

Killian ran a hand through his tangled and unruly hair. "Why didn't she come here?"

Tink stopped what she was doing, throwing her purse on the littered coffee table and glared at him, something she was becoming quite adept at. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you threw her out of your house. She might believe you might not welcome her back."

"I have to talk to her," he said more to himself than to Tink.

"At least take a shower and put on some clean clothes first, if you have them. I'm serious, you stink."

He gave her a ready grin, even if it pulled hard at his throbbing temples. "Yes, mom."

"Uh-uh," Tink tsked, shaking her head. "That doesn't work on me anymore."

Killian leaned in quick and kissed her on the cheek before she could pull away. "You're the best friend a guy could ever ask for."

Tink looked up from swiping her cheek with the tail end of her t-shirt. "Yeah, just remember to invite me to the wedding. If you can ever convince Emma to stick around long enough to put a ring on her finger."

"You'll be the best man," he promised.

Tink shook her head. "I wouldn't do that to David. I think he's been planning your bachelor party for years in revenge for the one you gave him."

"Not my fault that Dave can be an old fuddy-duddy sometimes. It was a stripper. All bachelor parties have a stripper," he defended himself.

"Not one that looks like his ex."

"She didn't look like his ex," he told her and she narrowed her eyes. A huge smile spread over Killian's face. "It was his ex."

"Killian!"

He held up his hands in defense. "I didn't know. Who would have thought old Dave would have had the guts to date someone who would take her clothes off in public? And what were the chances she'd agree? She was told the name of the groom prior to showing up."

"And you didn't think she'd do it just to get back at him for leaving her? You worry me." Tink shoved him out of the room and toward the stairs. "Now take a shower."

Killian stopped, made a proper military turn and saluted her. "Yes, ma'am."

"I'll make you a sandwich and throw some of your laundry in the washer while you're up there. Can't have Emma thinking you've become a total slob in her absence."

"I'm usually much tidier than this," Killian agreed, staring down the hall to the dishes piled up in his kitchen sink and empty liquor bottles lining his kitchen table. He half wondered if he even had food in his fridge to make a sandwich.

Tink pointed to the stairs. "Shower."

Killian grinned at her before he ran up the stairs, motivated for the first time in weeks.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: **A huge thank you to everyone who has stuck with me throughout this long story. I hope all of you have been enjoying the ride. And, of course, thanks must be extended to aimeeloren, my beta, for all the time she has put in and to her family who has gone without her during those times. And to Stephanie, with Just4FunVids925, who not only betas my other current story, True North, but made the wonderful video that inspired this fiction.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character as they belong to the wonderful creators of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 28 – Yeah, Tap On My Window, Knock On My Door:**

Killian was pulling on his t-shirt when he heard his cell phone chime. Glancing around, he spotted it on top of his dresser plugged in. Tink must have seen it was dead and made sure to rectify the issue while he was in the shower.

Grabbing it, he shrugged into a red zip-up sweatshirt. He had a text from Tink, which meant she must have let herself out. _A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. _

"Clever, Tink." Killian shook his head. Even when she wasn't there she still knew how to kick his mangy arse. Smiling he typed, _How long did it take you to come up with that one?_

Heranswerquicklyshotbacktohim_. Saw it in ur diary._

_ I don't have a diary, Tink._

_ Ur daily log then. _She returned.

Killian was confused. _When did I write that?_

_ After you let Emma leave the last time. Now eat and take ur own damn advise. _

Killian couldn't help laughing as he stuffed his phone in the back pocket of his jeans and headed downstairs to the kitchen. In there he found a plate filled with a sandwich, chips and two aspirin with a glass of water next to it. A large sheet of paper sat propped up against the glass. In red marker it read, _Eat and drink me. _Seeing there was more written inside the folded over paper, he opened it. _When you're done go find Emma and fix this, you dipshit. _

He found himself laughing for the second time that night. Tink was definitely coming into her own, refusing to let him take the low road again. Not even Dave would try so hard to push Killian's buttons and do it so effectively. Now if he could just get her to stop acting like his mother and be his friend and business partner again, all would be well.

Killian sat down at the table and ate. As much as he wanted to rush out and talk to Emma, he needed the time to recover from his drunken binge before he saw her. She didn't need to know how far he had fallen after his world dropped out from under him.

Finishing, he placed his plate and glass in his now empty sink. Tink really had worked wonders while he was sobering up in the shower. There were time he wondered if she truly did possess a bag full of pixie dust somewhere, just as her nickname indicated.

Killian cleaned up and grabbed his leather coat on the way out the door. There was still somewhat of a chill in the air. He rubbed a hand over his stubbled jaw and half wondered if he should have shaved even though he had grown used to the look over the past few weeks.

It wasn't hard to find Emma's yellow Volkswagen Beetle even in the dark. However, before he could think of what to say to her, Killian spotted Tink's grey BMW, which meant Tink hadn't actually left yet. He pulled out his phone. _Stalking your new hobby, Tink?_

_ Nope. Just here to make sure you follow through._

_ So, that's a yes then, _he typed with a smile as he leaned against the nearby light pole.

_Fairy godmothers have a bad case of not following through. I'm not leaving until I know you don't chicken out._

_ Go home, Tink. I got this._

Killian started to shove his phone back in his pocket when he heard the ding. _When I think you convinced Emma ur sorry, I will. _

Well, telling her to go away didn't work, he thought to himself, maybe he should try shock and awe. _I might have performance anxiety if I know ur watching._

_ U haven't had performance anxiety a day in ur life. Narcissism maybe anxiety no. _

_ Just stop spying. _

_ I'll stop watching but for the record I'm sticking my tongue out at u. _

He rolled his eyes heavenward and approached Emma's car, stuffing his phone in his back pocket. For a brief moment he stood behind her car watching her. Killian's heart picked up to a rapid staccato. He missed her. He always missed her. It didn't matter if he hadn't seen her for a few hours or a few years, when he saw her he felt lighter, freer, and happy.

Walking slowly, he reached her door. She was inside using a flashlight to read the classifieds by the looks of it. Her hair was falling over her bare shoulders. Her body clad in a white tank top. She must have had the heater on in her car because it was way too nippy outside to be dressed like that.

He tapped lightly on her window. She started and her eyes shot over to him. Emma rolled down her window and frowned. "What are you doing out here?"

Killian chuckled. "I was about to ask you the same thing."

"I need a place to stay. Apparently, there aren't a lot of rooms available to rent in this town."

"Are you moving back to Storybrooke?"

"That was the plan now that I finally graduated a few days ago but now I'm not so sure," she told him indicating the paper. "Hard to move somewhere when there is no place to live."

"Why didn't you come to me instead of sleeping in your car?"

She glared at him and pushed open her door. "Last time we saw each other you weren't very welcoming."

Killian grimaced at her words, unfortunately having to agree. "I haven't exactly been the best of company the last few weeks."

"You look okay now."

He smiled at her as he watched her lean on her car. "Tink kind of kicked me in the arse and told me to man up."

"I'm glad."

He raised his eyebrow. "That she kicked me in the arse?"

"No, that she got you out of your funk."

Killian strolled over to her. "Why? Were you worried about me?"

"Maybe." 

"Did you call Tink and check up on me?" He half hoped she'd say yes so he knew that she cared after he threw her out.

"No," she said too quickly.

They were inches from each other and Killian once more raised his brow. "Really?"

She crossed her arms and Killian sucked in a breath as her arms slid over his abs to gain their position. "Okay. I did. But only after I realized David and Mary-Margaret didn't know what I was talking about when I mentioned that I gave you bad news. Apparently, you haven't talked to them in weeks."

"Hmm."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing," he told her with a grin. "Are you cold?"

He couldn't help but notice how her nipples had become hard pebbles under her tank top. Killian tried so hard to not look but this was Emma and he had a hard enough time keeping his hands to himself, let alone his eyes.

"I'm fine," she said, slightly breathless.

"Oh, I could have told you that," he told her with a slight gruffness to his tone. Shaking his head to control his thoughts, he tried to reason with himself that wasn't why he was here. "If you need someplace to stay, your room is still available."

"My room?"

"Always. Unless you want to upgrade."

"So, you're now offering your room," she said with a flirtatious smile.

"If you want it."

"Do you come with it?"

Killian's breath hitched. "If you decide to move back the room is yours. We can discuss particulars later."

"I'll think about it."

"Do that," he told her with a quick grin. "You know where to find me."

Emma watched Killian walk away back toward his house. God, he looked good. She had always like the scruffy look on him and she half hoped he'd keep it. He looked leaner but not necessarily healthier. Obviously, he had a rough time coping after her heard the news. She almost wished she had kept the news to herself.

Hearing her phone chime a new text message, Emma went back inside her car to warm up. _You're not going to let him walk away, r u?_ The message was from Tink.

_What the hell, Tink? Are you spying on us?_

_ Maybe. _

Emma heard a car start nearby. Tink's car came around and paralleled Emma's. When her window rolled down, Emma smiled. "Hi, Tink."

"My question still stands. Are you going after him or not?" Tink asked leaning across her car so Emma could hear her.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

Tink grinned back at her. "I knew I could count on you. Good luck. The two of you are going to need it."

Emma waved to a departing Tink and turned her car to make a U-turn. She drove the couple of blocks to Killian's house where he was only opening his front door when she pulled in.

"Hey, sailor," Emma called out as she exited her car, grabbing her leather coat to shrug on. "I heard you had a room for rent."

He turned from the door and stepped down from his porch. "Sorry, we're all full up."

"Really?" Emma squeaked. "I thought you said…"

Killian stalked toward her. A hunter stalking his prey. "The only guest room I have already has an occupant."

"Who?"

"You, unless you're still looking to upgrade," he said with a grin.

"I don't think that is a good idea."

"Seems perfectly fine to me."

The only warning Emma had was Killian's growl before she was snatched into his arms and his mouth covered hers. She opened her lips to his questing tongue and tangled her own with it. His hands clasped her face and her own traced over his well-defined chest.

His head shifted directions and he began to nibble her jaw until his mouth reached her ear. "No one, outside of Milah, has lived here beside you and me, nor will they. Do you understand?"

Emma nodded still lost in the sensations Killian was arousing in her as his one hand slid down across her jeans, cupping her butt. While his other plucked and pulled at her aching nipples. Emma's head fell backwards as desire shot straight to her core. Killian licked and kissed her neck. His teeth pulling one side of her tank off her shoulders, so his mouth could trace a line down to the top of her breast.

"We need to go inside," he growled low, pulling back from her slightly and taking her hand so he could lead her into his house.

"Killian, wait." Emma pulled him up short.

He turned to look at her questioning. Emma smiled at him and ran her hand over his scruffy cheek. "I'm only going to stay for a couple of days until Mary-Margaret and David come back. Then I need to find my own place."

Killian nodded his assent. "As you wish."

"Thank you. And I'll take the guest room." Emma looked pointedly at her car. "I just need to grab my things. I'll be there in a minute."

Emma watched him go. If she hadn't put on the brakes they could have already been inside making love on Killian's bed, but she wasn't that person anymore. She had learned over the years to love herself and that sex, as pleasurable as it was, didn't fix things. Instead, it made relationships much more complicated. She and Killian had to learn to be friends again before they could be anything else and if he couldn't accept that then a relationship, a healthy relationship, wouldn't be able to develop.

And that's what Emma wanted. She wanted to have the kind of deep bond that Mary-Margaret and David had. Or like Ruby and Graham. Mutual respect and love were important and Emma knew she could have that with Killian, so long as they could keep their hands off each other for a while.

Sighing, Emma went to her car to retrieve her things. Mary-Margaret had mentioned that Emma might be able to rent her old apartment but until she returned Emma wasn't sure if it was still available. All Emma had to do was wait until her friend returned to Storybrooke. She could keep her hands and lips to herself for a few more days and avoid the temptation that was Killian. All she had to do was try to not be alone with him for any length of time. Convinced it was doable, Emma headed inside to the first comfortable bed she had slept in for a week.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: **Another huge thanks to my beta, aimeeloren, and to Stephanie with Just4FunVids925. These two are some of the greatest women I have met. Thank you so much for your time and effort.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters as they belong to the franchise of OUAT.

**Chapter 29 – I Want To Make You Feel Beautiful:**

The first thing Kilian noticed upon waking was that he was completely sober. The second was the smell of bacon and coffee. After being alone and drunk the last several weeks both the smells and revelation were a novel experience.

Killian went downstairs in the sweatpants he wore to bed hanging low on his hips. He'd have to grab a clean shirt from the laundry room before he ate. Instead the smells emanating from the kitchen drew him there first. Inside he found Emma dressed in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings scrambling eggs.

He leaned against the doorjamb and watched her. It was such a domestic scene that it tugged at his heart because this is what he wished for when he first moved into this house. As she beat the eggs, her shirt slipped off her shoulder revealing that there was no bra strap underneath. Killian couldn't have held in the groan that escaped his lips if he tried. Desire pooled in his belly and his hands clenched wishing to wrap around her. Why the bloody hell did he have to have on sweatpants because there was no hiding his reaction to Emma's started gaze as she turned to stare at him.

"Hi," he said with a smile, straightening from his spot.

Emma gulped. _Really_? Here she had been up all night long trying convince herself that she and Killian couldn't do anything to distract from the friendship they needed to reestablish and now Killian walked into the kitchen half dressed, looking like he had woken up after having really good sex. It wasn't fair. Her hormones shot to high alert as her eyes drank him in.

His grey sweatpants hung so low on his hips that she could see his pelvic bones and a lengthening erection. Hair trailed up from his pants and trailed up to cover his well-defined pecs. Her eyes literally had to take a second glance at his tight abs and broad chest because it was definitely worth more than one look and if she could touch she'd be rubbing herself against him like a cat desperate for attention. Killian's arms looked as though he worked out or at least didn't shy away from the heavy lifting at the work sites. His face still sported the scruff that Emma found insanely sexy. And his hair looked like a lover arranged it in the throes of passion. His eyes pierced her with need that showed he wasn't unaffected by her perusal.

Dragging her eyes away was almost painful. However, she had to before she threw herself at him and begged for him to take care of all her parts that were crying for attention. Emma turned back to her eggs and stirred them before they burned, which was a good thing because food was limited in the house right now.

"I hope you like scrambled eggs. I couldn't remember," she told him apologetically, while trying to calm her erratic breathing.

"Scrambled eggs are fine." Killian walked over and reached across her for a mug, pressing his naked chest across her back.

"You're not playing fair," Emma mumbled with a sucked in breath.

Killian poured himself some coffee and leaned against the counter next to her. "Were we playing a game?"

"No, it's just… I told myself…"

Killian reached out and turned off the stove and turned Emma toward him setting down his steaming mug of coffee beforehand. "You just what? What did you tell yourself?"

"We can't... We can't do this." Emma waved between the two of them. "It's been three years, Killian. We've changed. I know I've changed."

"Funny, you seemed as interested in this as I was last night _and_ when we saw each other in Boston."

Emma placed her hand on his chest before she remembered he was shirtless. "I was… I am, but…"

"But…"

"I can't think when you have no shirt on," Emma said exasperated. He grinned down at her. Damn him. He knew exactly what he was doing to her.

"Would you feel better if I put on a shirt?"

"Yes."

"Good." He crossed his arms and legs and continued to lean on the counter.

"Well?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You wanted me to do it now?"

"It would be the gentlemanly thing to do."

Killian stepped toward her and inclined his head. She honestly thought as they stood toe to toe that he was going to kiss her. "Never let it be said that I'm not a gentleman."

Emma finally felt like she could breathe once Kilian left the room, but her relief was short lived as he returned with a snug t-shirt that molded to his chest like a second skin. "I reiterate my earlier statement."

She watched as he looked down smugly at his shirt before he returned his heavy lidded gaze to her. "You wanted me to put on a shirt and I did."

Glaring, she walked past him. "I have a job interview after lunch. I'm going to go get ready."

"Don't you want any of these eggs?"

"I'm suddenly not very hungry." God she was lying. She wasn't hungry for food but she was definitely hungry and that was a very bad thing in Emma's book. Refusing to look at him again, Emma straightened her spine and drug her butt out of the kitchen to the relative safety of her bedroom.

CSCSCSCSCS

Killian arrived back to work for the first time in almost a month with a huge smile on his face. He hated to admit it but his employees almost seemed suspicious of this good humor. Killian wasn't even sure what they knew in regards to his absence to begin with. Trying to catch up, Killian spent the entire morning into afternoon reviewing with his personal assistant and lead managers and the entire process was uncomfortable for all involved, as it seemed they didn't want to bring up the reasons behind why he left.

By mid-afternoon, Killian was ready to go home and hear about Emma's day. If Tink was there he might have been able to slip out but she wasn't. He owned this company and it was about time he started to act like he did and that meant long hours and time spent away from home.

Just to get out of the confines of the four walls of his office, Killian grabbed his jacket and told his secretary he was heading out to a job site across town to check out the progress. He drove through town and spotted Emma's Bug outside of Granny's. Maybe he should stop for a quick coffee to keep him going the rest of the day, not to see Emma, or so he told himself. Okay, he lied and he knew it.

He parked along the road and proceeded inside to place his order. Killian couldn't see Emma anywhere. Maybe she was somewhere else and just parked there. Or maybe a room opened up at Granny's and she was moving in. He wasn't sure why that last thought bothered him so much.

"Here you go, Killian." Granny handed him his coffee.

"Thanks, Granny." He turned to leave but then he changed directions. "Granny? Do you have any vacancies by any chance?"

The grey haired woman shook her head. "Sorry, we're full up until the end of the week. Why? Something happen to your house?"

"No. It's nothing." Killian began to leave again. Before he could open the door, he looked back. "Granny? Did Emma Swan check in as one of your guests?"

The woman looked up from cleaning the counter. "No. We were already full when she came in a few days ago. There's a wedding in town and we are putting up some of the guests."

"Okay. Thanks." Killian held up his coffee in salute and finally left the diner.

Walking to his car, Killian spotted Emma sitting at one of Granny's outdoor tables talking to a man. Obviously they had only just arrived while he was inside or he would have spotted them on his way in. But it was Emma that really drew his attention to the pair. Her hair was curled and she looked beautiful. He needed to leave and head to the site before sundown but his feet had the same idea as his eyes and were drawn over to Emma's side.

"Hello, Emma," he found himself saying as he reached her table. "Who's this?"

Both sets of eyes rose to see who interrupted their conversation. Killian smiled at the man and held out his hand. "Killian Jones."

"Will Scarlet." The man shook Killian's hand. "How do you know Miss Swan?"

"She lives with me." Killian hated that he sounded so possessive but he knew nothing about this man who was sitting too close to Emma for his liking.

"Temporarily," Emma injected with haste. "Killian's a friend."

Killian crossed his arms and stared down at her challenging her statement with his eyes. _Friends_? _They_ _were_ _friends_? It might have been three years and only about forty hours of his life but after what they shared he'd classify them as more than just friends. Friends with benefits maybe. Friends with chemistry that could explode the whole town of Storybrooke, definitely. Just friends, hell no.

"Do you need something, Killian?"

Shaking off his internal conflict he smiled at her. "No. I don't need anything. I was just wondering what you were doing here."

Will stood up. "Maybe I should go get us some coffee before we finish your paperwork."

Emma reached out and stopped him, before she glared towards Killian. "No, that's okay. Killian was just leaving, weren't you?"

Killian raised his eyebrow. So, this was the guy who was supposed to be Emma's boss. They must have already had their interview if they were discussing paperwork. That must have been why they weren't there when he first walked into Granny's.

"I'll see you later tonight." And for no other reason than to prove they were more than friends, he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek and if his tongue quickly darted out to give her a small lick of possession, well that was her own damn fault for telling this cocky, good-looking man that they were nothing more than friends.

Killian walked away and drank his lukewarm coffee. He didn't even care that it wasn't as warm as he liked to have it. Killian was hot enough for the both of them.

For no other reason than to relieve some of the tension inside his body, Killian kicked his back tire with the steel-toed boots he had donned before heading out for the work site. Considering the force he used, he was glad he put them on because he would have either ruined his leather dress shoes or broken a toe or both.

Bloody hell, he had work to do and lack of concentration at a worksite spelled trouble with a capitol T. He'd have to set aside his feelings and take care of business, especially now that Tink was out of town. And letting Tink know he was committed to taking care of his own company had to come first right now even if he didn't want it to.

CSCSCSCSCS

Killian was disappointed when he returned home around seven that evening and noticed Emma's car missing. Then again it was past time for dinner and he had no groceries really left in his fridge. She probably went to Granny's to grab something to eat.

Setting down the box of pizza he brought home, Killian hung up his coat and kicked off his shoes at the front door. Taking his dinner, he went to the kitchen and looked in his fridge for something to drink with his food. Great. It looked like Tink had definitely been here. Most of the spoiled food had been thrown away leaving him with two containers of yogurt, one more egg, and goat's milk, because Tink couldn't even be normal enough to drink soy or almond milk like other people out there.

Hearing the front door close, Killian slammed the refrigerator shut on its depressing contents. When Emma walked into his kitchen her hands were full of books and a huge smile decorated her face.

"I did it," she announced. "I got the job."

"Congratulations."

Emma plopped her books down on the kitchen table next to his pizza. Next thing he knew she flung herself into his arms and hugged him. He breathed in the soft scent of her, his face buried in her hair.

She pulled back and he reluctantly let her go. "I need to study so I can get my license as a private detective but it's a done deal. I'm officially part of Wonderland Detective Agency."

"Ingenious name," he said with some mockery.

Emma punched him in the shoulder. "Hey. That's my new employers you're talking about." She glanced around and sniffed. "Pizza? I'm starving."

Killian pulled down a couple of mugs from his cabinet. "First, we should toast your good fortune." He opened the drawer he had stuffed his flask in the night before and tried to pour the last of his rum. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he shook, not even a drop poured out. Tink must have dumped it out and he never realized it.

"Bloody hell," he murmured.

"Something wrong?" Emma asked around a bite of absconded pizza.

"No. Nothing." That left them with the choice of goat's milk or water and to drink water for a toast was bad luck. With a deep sigh, Killian tugged open the fridge and poured the milk into the two mugs. He shoved the milk back and brought the mugs to Emma, handing her one. "Cheers."

They clinked mugs and Emma drank while Killian sipped. He tried to hold back his laughter as Emma sputtered.

"What the hell is that?"

"Goat's milk," he said with a straight face, biting his cheek to keep his smile hidden.

"Where's your rum?"

"It seems that I drank it all and it is bad form to toast with water which was our only other available option."

"I would've waited for the champagne," she told him with a grimace as she set the offensive liquid on the table and shoved more pizza in her mouth. "Gah! It's even ruining the taste of this."

He watched with mirth as she flung her half-eaten slice back in the box and went to his sink to wash out her mouth. Setting his own cup next to hers, he grabbed a slice of pizza. "So, who is Will Scarlet? Your new boss?"

After Emma gargled and spit, wiping her mouth with a napkin, she turned to him and nodded. "Yes. And despite your display of machismo this afternoon, he still hired me. Speaking of which, you licked me."

He shrugged. "Couldn't help myself. You looked good enough to eat."

Emma walked past him and picked up her slice of pizza. "Killian, we're friends."

"Are we?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Yes. At least, I hope so." She ate while her eyes searched his.

Killian placed his slice back in the box and turned back to her. "I was hoping for more."

"Can't we start from there?"

"Bloody hell, Emma. I feel like we are playing a childhood game of Chutes and Ladders, except we're never lucky enough to land on a ladder. Our relationship seems to keep being sent back to start." He took the pizza from her hands and grabbed her shoulders. "I want more. I want you."

"You didn't want me enough to come after me in Boston."

"You told me to stay away and I respected your decision. It wasn't like I forgot about you. I sent you flowers on Valentine's Day and a present at Christmas."

He saw her brow crease. "Those were from you?"

He heard her voice hitch at the end of her question. Her body stiffened under his fingers. Killian was unsure if he just pissed her off more or not, so he remained silent.

"Killian? The roses Ruby gave me every Valentine's Day were from you?"

He nodded. "Probably. I… I wasn't sure where to send it and the last place I knew of was Ruby's."

"I thought Ruby felt bad for me. She never said it was from you. And the presents? The gold hoop earrings and the books and the leather jacket?"

"Aye."

"Ruby joked that they were presents from Santa."

"Ho, ho, ho," he said solemnly.

Her hand reached up and ghosted over his face in a soft caress. "You didn't forget me."

"Never. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of you."

"And yet you still agreed to marry Tink."

"No one else loved me. My walls were up too high to let anyone else in," he told her matter of factly. "Bloody hell. What am I saying? Those were just excuses I used to go to sleep at night. I was stupid to agree to Tink's plan at all."

"So, why did you?"

"I don't know." Killian ran a finger over his ear, subconsciously.

"Did you and Tink…?"

Killian's eyes shot to hers. "No. We never slept with each other, if that is what you are asking. Not that it didn't come up, it did. I mean we were involved years ago, but I just couldn't… We work together. I don't know if marriage was really in either of our best interest, to be honest. If I wasn't so blasé about the whole thing, I probably would have realized that."

"In other words, this was all Tink's idea to see if you would turn her down and find me."

"Probably." He leaned back on the counter and crossed his arms. "Why did you leave? Honestly."

"I loved you. It hurt so much to see you that day with Tink, especially after that phone call with you and that woman. It's why I asked you to stay away."

"Neither episode was what you thought it was. But what about now? How do you feel now?" He didn't dare hope.

"I never stopped loving you," she breathed out. She walked over and pulled his head down to hers, her hand tangling in his hair.

His hands slid down from her shoulders and hooked around her waist as he deepened their kiss. She tried to quicken the pace but he resisted. Killian wanted to take this slow and savor every moment that he had her in his arms. Brushing her books to the side, a few clattered to the floor, he lifted Emma and placed her on his kitchen table.

Pulling back, he rubbed his knuckles across her face. "You're so beautiful."

"And you're not kissing me, sailor," she said with a smile.

"Captain," he said with a small kiss to her lips. "It's definitely captain of this relationship and don't you forget it."

"There is about to be a mutiny," Emma told him as she began to unbutton his dress shirt. "So, you better hurry up, Captain."

"As you wish."


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: **One good thing about being a reader of fanfiction is that you get all the great stories and not have to know all the blood, sweat and tears that go into them (well, unless you are also a writer as well). And let me tell you, this chapter almost pushed me over the edge. Thank you to my beta, aimeeloren, for hanging in there with me for this chapter and for encouraging me to keep writing. I hope all of you enjoy it. Also, a huge thanks to Just4FunVids for creating this wonderful video. I wanted to let you know, I fully intend to finish this story, but there are several things pulling me away from writing right now, so I will be taking a couple of weeks off to take care of those issues and to allow my betas to spend time with their families as the holidays here in the US approach. Please bear with me during this time. Thank you.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters, as they belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 30 – I Don't Mind Spending Every Day:**

By the end of the week Emma was frustrated. Ever since the night Killian kissed her he had been avoiding her. Okay, supposedly, it wasn't on purpose but it still bothered her. She knew he was going to be busy after he explained that Tink was out of town for the next couple of weeks. Emma just thought that maybe they'd fit in some time to talk.

By the time David and Mary-Margaret arrived at Killian's house on late Saturday morning, Emma wanted to scream. Instead she stood on Killian's porch with Mary-Margaret as Killian grabbed a bag and ran off to meet up with David to play a game of squash.

Emma turned to her friend smiling and waving next to her. "They are going to play squash? Seriously, that's a thing?"

Mary-Margaret nodded and blew a kiss to her husband. "Yes. They usually go at least once a month."

Emma shook her head. "Last time I checked squash was a vegetable."

"Technically, it's a fruit." Mary-Margaret shook her head and turned toward Emma because the men had finally driven off. "Sorry, teacher thing. Don't ask." Mary-Margaret looped her arm through Emma's and drug her inside Killian's house. "So, anything happen between you and Killian while we were away?"

"We kissed but it was nothing," Emma told her dismissively. 

"Then why are you blushing?"

Emma held her hands to her cheeks and felt them heat even more. Mary-Margaret laughed. "By the looks of things. I wouldn't say it was nothing, Emma. Spill."

"Really, nothing happened. We kissed, that's it. Even we haven't talked about it."

Mary-Margaret smiled at her. "Okay, I'll let it go. For now."

Picking up on of the side pillows from the couch, Emma threw it at her dark-haired friend. "Shut up."

Pantomiming zipping her lips, Mary-Margaret told her, "My lips are sealed. So, what else has been going on?"

"I got a job. I started yesterday."

"Really? Already?"

Emma nodded and sat in the side chair as Mary-Margaret replaced the pillow and perched on the couch. "With Wonderland Detective Agency. Will Scarlet hired me."

Mary-Margaret's shoulders began to shake, then she bit back a smile before all out laughter flowed from her lips. Then she snorted she began to laugh so hard. "Sorry." Her eyes watered and she buried her laughter in the pillow Emma had earlier thrown at her.

"What? Do you know him?"

Emma barely saw Mary-Margaret's head bob and affirmative. Then a finger popped up to signal she needed a minute to calm down. Emma grabbed a tissue and handed it to her friend who proceeded to wipe her tear-stained face.

Mary-Margaret took a deep breath. "You could say I know him. I only met him once. I ran into him on the beach several months ago. He was searching for a knapsack he buried there."

"He couldn't remember where he put it?"

"He assured me he had a map," Mary-Margaret told her struggling not to start laughing again. "Unfortunately, it was in the knapsack he buried."

"The one that the map was meant to find?" Emma asked with a huge grin.

"Yep." Mary-Margaret stretched out the word and popped the p for emphasis.

"Oh my God. I'll have to remember that one," Emma said laughing.

"To be fair he was drunk off his ass so he might not remember it."

"Too bad," Emma assured her with a laugh. "I will."

"So, have you met your new boss yet?" Snow inquired once the two of them calmed down from another round of laughter.

Emma gave Mary-Margaret a confused look. "I thought Will was the boss."

"No. Cora owns the place."

"Isn't that Regina Mills mother?" Emma asked leaning forward.

"Have you met the mayor yet?"

Emma shook her head. "I haven't had the pleasure, or displeasure, depending on who you talk to, yet. But what about Cora?"

"The Queen of Hearts." 

"Why is she called that? Besides the whole Wonderland theme. Did she go through a lot of lovers?" Emma asked with mild curiosity.

A snort shot out of Mary-Margaret. "Hardly. It's because if you cross her she'll crush yours. She feeds off of any kind of weakness."

"Sounds scary." 

"You have no idea, Emma. She is the female equivalent of Mr. Gold." Mary-Margaret shuddered. "I couldn't imagine if those two ever got together, but rumors said that the two of them were romantically linked at one time. I wouldn't be able to picture all the pain and destruction the two of them could cause if they joined up in their business endeavors."

Even Emma had to shiver. "That is a scary thought. Gold frightened the hell out of me when I was dating Neal. Though I tried not to show it."

Mary-Margaret waved her hand. "On to happier thoughts." She pulled some keys from her pocket. "Here are the keys to my old loft. I'm so happy I didn't sell now that you need it." Mary-Margaret sighed. "I miss that place, but I wouldn't trade it for the house David and I share for anything, especially now that we are expecting."

Emma saw her friend cover her belly with her hand and she jumped up screaming. "Oh! Mary-Margaret, congratulations."

The two women hugged and laughed.

"Okay." Mary-Margaret turned. "Let's get you packed up and ready to move."

"You're not lifting anything," Emma told her with a wag of her finger. "David would kill me."

"Don't start that. I'm pregnant not an invalid. David and I already had that argument last weekend when we started to clean out one of our guest bedrooms so we could begin to paint it for the nursery."

For the next hour, the two women packed up Emma's meager belongings, packed them in Emma's car and drove them over to the loft. Luckily, Mary-Margaret had left the place furnished so Emma didn't have to worry about spending money she didn't really have on furniture.

David finally texted around three that afternoon that he and Killian were heading back. Mary-Margaret decided to meet David at the loft after he dropped off Killian. Emma was disappointed because that meant she wouldn't have a chance to see him. She decided to at least send a text to thank him for letting her stay with him.

She didn't know why but by Monday morning she was still disappointed that he never responded back.

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Killian stared down at his phone for the hundredth time. The cursor below Emma's text flashed brightly on the screen. He had tried to return a message to her several times but he couldn't figure out what to say. Okay, he knew what he wanted to say. Killian wanted to tell her he missed her but he didn't want to seem clingy. They only reconnected recently and before she stayed this last time he had kicked her out of his house.

Bloody hell, where his emotions in regards to Emma were as varied as the sea. One minute she could calm him and the next he was as turbulent as the stormiest sea.

Throwing his phone inside his desk so he wouldn't feel compelled to keep staring at it, he returned his gaze to the computer screen. He had to finish these projection reports before lunch. With Tink gone he was lucky he was even in his office. His last, the week he had hoped to spend some time with Emma before she moved, had been filled with on-site meetings and client dinners.

Now his time was becoming more regimented with office work that needed to be completed but Emma was already gone. Okay, it wasn't like she left Storybrooke this time, just across town. Mary-Margaret's loft wasn't too far away from the town square, which meant it wasn't near his home or his office for a casual run-in. Maybe he'd have to find time to have lunch at Granny's today instead of his desk and if Emma just happened to be there. Well, then all the better.

Right now he needed to concentrate. He and Tink had to almost rebuild their client list from the bottom to the top after the fire at the docks. People had lost confidence in their abilities to handle large projects, but with faith and hard work their company had begun to flourish over the last year. They were easily even if not over what they were bringing in businesswise before the fire. He was happy that Tink stepped up when she had so they didn't lose their hard earned contacts when he stepped off the grid. Killian couldn't have chosen a better business partner if he tried and he planned to tell Tink that when she came back. Now, if only he could get his personal life on track as easily as he had his business life.

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Emma's Monday morning started well enough considering it was only her second day at work. Friday was spent mainly going over legal issues and paperwork. Today, she was actually working on studying for her exam in two weeks to become a licensed private detective.

Or she was studying until Alice, the receptionist/secretary for the Wonderland Detective Agency, walked through her open office door. "Hi, Alice. What do you have for me?"

Alice held up some file folders. "Work. The top file is a priority. Will needs the case file organized for his presentation for the client tomorrow afternoon. The second," Alice set them down on Emma's desk, "is a bunch of receipts that Will needs entered into the system. They were for his trip to Boston last week for the Sullivan divorce case. And last, but not least, is the paperwork that needs to be submitted for your licensing exam."

Emma sighed. "So much for starting small. Thanks." 

Alice perched on Emma's desk and shrugged. "You're still doing better than I did. You should have seen this place. It was like falling into a worm hole filled with paperwork. Not one paper had been filed, organized, or accounted for. I literally spent my first month just trying to find my desk."

Groaning, Emma flipped open the first file. "Well, I'm glad you got here first then. I getter get started or I'll never get home tonight."

"Call Will if you have any trouble. Or you can always pop out and see if I can figure it out for you if he's busy."

Emma barely acknowledged the other woman's departure and got to work. It was a few hours later when Alice stuck her head back in.

"I'm heading out for lunch with Cyrus. You need anything?"

"New eyeballs?" Emma volunteered, as she pointed to the first file folder which she was proud to say was almost completed.

"Trust me, I understand. There are some things that cannot be unseen no matter how hard you try. At least you haven't come upon the file for Mr. Gold." Alice shuddered. "Let me tell you some of the stuff Will came upon for that one is just plain creepy."

"Why is Will investigating Mr. Gold?"

"He's not. Will was hired by Gold to watch over Belle. He thinks she may be cheating on him. Paranoid. That's what he is."

"Belle?" Emma laughed. "Doubtful. Don't think she has a deceitful bone in her body. Naïve, yes. Deceitful, no."

"That's right you know them." 

Emma nodded. "I dated his son, Neal."

"Oh my God!" Alice covered her mouth. "You were Neal's girlfriend? I just thought you knew them because of Killian."

"One of them apparently. Why?"

"He asked me out once. Years ago. My friend and I were at the Rabbit Hole and he came over and said he'd buy some drinks. I kind of thought he was cute but when he went to the bar, my friend dragged me out of there and told me he was dating some blonde chick."

"Yep. That would be me. The blonde chick," Emma deadpanned.

"Well, we left before he could come back but my other friend was still there with her boyfriend. She told me when he discovered us gone he threw the drinks at our chairs in a rage. I was never so glad we left when we did and that my friend recognized him for the cheater he was. Anyway, I'm glad you realized your mistake." 

Emma smiled. "Me, too."

"Anyway, I'm running late. Lunch?"

"Can you grab me a grilled cheese from Granny's?"

"Sure thing. See you later."

An hour later, Emma was still sitting at her desk when she heard the office phone ring. Alice hadn't returned from lunch yet, so Emma exited her small closet space of an office to answer it. Sure she could have grabbed it from her own desk but it felt nice to walk around after hours of sitting behind her desk.

"You've reached Wonderland," Emma said with a roll of her eyes. "How may I help you?"

"And here I was hoping to call Neverland, my bad," an amused Killian answered back.

Emma couldn't help but laugh. "Then you called the wrong blonde. There seems to be a lot of them in town."

"Don't I know it. But I didn't call the wrong one. Trust me."

Emma felt a giddy smile spread across her face at his words. "What's going on, Killian? Why did you call?"

"I was thinking maybe we could have lunch together."

"Oh, sorry." Emma's smile slid into a frown. "Alice was supposed to bring my lunch."

The office door opened and Emma fully expected Alice to stroll in. However, Killian walked in with his phone between his ear and his shoulder. His hands juggling the door knob, a large paper bag and a drink holder.

"Lunch is served," he announced.

Emma hung up the phone and grabbed the bag from his hand. "What's in here? I'm starving."

"Grilled cheese fresh from Granny's."

"French fries?"

"Onion rings," he told her with a smile.

Emma grinned back. "Just testing." She swiped an onion ring from the bag and stuffed it in her mouth. "Yum. You're my savior. You have no idea how hungry I am."

He snagged his free arm around her waist and pulled her into a hug. "Nope. You're mine."

"Cut it out you two. Some of us need to work." Alice walked around Killian and Emma so she could get back to her desk. "I saw Killian at Granny's and told him I had to bring you your lunch." Alice winked at Emma behind Killian's back. "Thought that dessert should be included."

Emma stuck her tongue out at the other woman but smiled. Alice laughed which caused Killian to look around at her.

"So, love, where would you like to eat?" Killian glanced around the small space the detective agency consisted of.

"Not here. C'mon." Emma led him down the elevator to the ground floor, swiping onion rings on the way. "Let's head over to the park."

There was a weathered swing set on its last legs where they set up camp. Emma and Killian each claimed a swing. Their sandwiches in hand, they ate. Their shared onion rings still in the bag next to the drinks that they set in the sand between the two of them.

It felt nice to relax and enjoy the balmy weather that was becoming more of an everyday occurrence. "Thanks for lunch, Killian."

He turned his swing so he could watch her and smiled. "Anytime."

"I almost believe you."

"Why wouldn't you?" His eyebrow raised in concern.

Emma gave a dry chuckle. "Because it seems we both keep pushing the other away when things become too serious."

"I have no intention of pushing you away ever again."

She studied him. He seemed sincere but her heart still hurt from the last time he pushed her away. Emma gave him a soft smile and popped the rest of her sandwich in her mouth. Chewing she tried to take the time to figure out how to reply.

Killian rose and walked over to her. His hand slid through her hair and her eyes raised to his. "I want us to be friends again. More than that, I want us to be lovers. My dream is that someday we can be both."

"Killian, I…"

He placed a finger over her lips. "No, wait. I need to say this. I love you. I've loved you for a very long time now but I never realized it until you left for Boston this last time. It was my fault. I kicked you out. I should have never blamed you for giving me the information about my brother. And you tried to warn me to stop. You didn't mean to hurt me. Instead I hurt both of us and I'm sorry."

Emma stood and hugged him. "I know you didn't mean it. You were hurt. I just felt horrible that there wasn't anything else I could do. Something to make the blow a little easier. Hell, if I didn't have to finish school, I would have never left Storybrooke, but Ruby convinced me to tell you when I found out instead of waiting until I moved here."

"I'm glad she did." He raised her face from his chest so they could see each other's eyes. "We've both made mistakes. I hope that we can learn from them and go on from here. I'm tired of living in the past."

"So am I."

Killian's head lowered and his lips gently brushed over hers. "Thank you."

"For?" Emma asked.

"Being you."

Throwing their trash away, they walked back to her office holding hands. Killian tucked her arm through his and she rested her head on his shoulder and smiled. It was the first time in a very long time Emma felt complete.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me throughout this story. I do apologize for making you wait so long for this update. A lot of things happened over here. I had hoped to post this over a week ago, but I had to go out of the country. A huge thank you to aimeeloren, my beta, for being the best person out there to hang out and support me throughout this long process. And to Stephanie, who created the video that started it all. If you haven't checked out some of her more recent videos, you are missing out. Find her on YouTube at Just4FunVids925.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters, as they belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 31 – Out On Your Corner, In The Pouring Rain:**

Too bad Emma's contentment couldn't last into the next day. Her day didn't start well, at all. It had taken her forever to fall asleep, her mind running over her conversation with Killian over and over again. Then five minutes before her alarm was set to go off, her phone vibrated and rang. It was Will, her boss, so she couldn't just ignore it.

He called to let her know that she was expected to meet with him in his office first thing because a client had called in asking to change an appointment from later that morning to eight am. Since it was a new client, Will wanted Emma to sit in on the meeting and to dress nice. It wasn't like she dressed like a slob when she worked, he assured her, but could she come in with a nice skirt or something. Emma rolled her eyes and agreed. All she wanted was a huge cup of cocoa to wake up. There would be no snooze button pushing for her. A sigh escaped her lips as her alarm went off right as she hung up.

Despite the way the day started, Emma's morning seemed to go well enough. She met with Will and the client and took notes of things that Will asked. Emma knew that it would be important to know these things when she was expected to meet with clients on her own. After that, she had some time to study and she took it, even getting Alice to quiz her on some of the material.

Another client came in with a custody case and Will asked her into his office for a second time that morning. By the time the client left she already was not looking forward to dealing with child custody cases. This one though didn't actually deal with an actual child. Instead the couple were fighting over their prized poodle. Oh, their divorce was amicable enough, but the dog, was the contentious point between the two of them. And the husband, their client, was determined to prove that his wife was incapable of taking care of the precious dog.

"I can't believe they are that determined to own a dog," Emma said in exasperation to Will after the client left the office.

"That dog's stud fee is several thousand dollars. Never believe people won't fight over money. They lie, cheat and steal to possess it. In this case, that money is the dog," Will informed her as he straightened his notes from the meeting into a file. "You'll get used to it."

"But should I?" Emma asked doubtfully.

"To be a great detective? No." Will held out the file to Emma. "Can you please give this file to Alice? Ask her to type up the notes after lunch." He checked his watch. "I'm heading out. I have to present a case to a client at their house this afternoon. I'm going to catch an early lunch and head over there."

"Okay. Anything specific you need me to work on?"

"Actually, I have a list here." Will searched around on his desk before he found the paper he was looking for. "Can you pull the files on these clients?" He handed her the list and then pulled two file folders from the top drawer of his desk. "The papers in those folders need to be sorted and placed in those files. They're updates in those client cases. It wouldn't hurt for you to look them over so you know which projects have a revolving scale around here."

Emma glanced down the list and spotted a name she recognized. "Mr. Gold? Does that have to do with his preoccupation that Belle may be cheating on him?"

Will gave her a quizzical look as he rose and gathered his things. "Yes. How did you know about that?"

"Alice mentioned it yesterday."

"Yes. Well, as I am aware of your connection to that family, how about you hand over the work on that case over to Alice? We don't need him accusing us of any manhandling of his case."

Emma smiled. "I'll be more than happy not to have to deal with any of that family again."

Will began to leave his office and Emma followed thinking that Killian probably felt much the same as she did in regards to Mr. Gold and any relation thereof. That thought sent a light bulb off. "Will?"

"Yes?" He turned back to her.

"In any of your investigations about Gold and his family, did you happen to come across a woman by the name of Zelena?"

"That's an unusual name," Alice said from behind her desk.

Will glanced between the two women. "What would make you ask about that witch?"

Emma's eyes lit up. "So, you do know her?"

Will nodded solemnly. "Unfortunately, our paths have crossed."

"Can we discuss it when you have more time? I have some questions in regard to an investigation I did for a friend." Emma almost rubbed her hands together in glee. She might actually be able to further her investigation into Liam's death.

"Of course," Will smiled at her then waved to Alice. "I'm off for lunch and a client meeting. Not sure how long it will take so lock up if I'm not back when you head out."

"Will do. Good luck," Alice told him. When he left Alice turned toward Emma. "Does your investigation have anything to do with Mr. 'Dreamy Eyes' Jones who brought your lunch yesterday?"

Emma looked over at her new coworker, who sounded so much like Ruby at that moment. "Maybe."

"Oh, come on. I can tell it does. Your eyes get this glow about them when you're talking or thinking about him. Trust me, I've seen it in my own eyes when I catch a glimpse of myself thinking about Cyrus."

"Can you type this after lunch for Will?" Emma handed her the folder.

Alice laughed and accepted the folder. "Changing the subject doesn't make it go away, but sure I'll type it up."

Emma blushed. "Thanks." She turned back and headed to her office then whipped back. "Oh, I almost forgot. Will has some papers in these files that he gave me." Emma held them up so Alice could see them. "They need to be placed in Mr. Gold's file. Will was afraid it might be a conflict of interest if I do it."

With a dramatic sigh, Alice nodded. "I figured that would happen. Sure I'll take care of it. When you have them, just set them on my desk with a note reminding me."

"Will do. Thanks again."

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Killian had a long day. One problem after another seemed to be arising. Nothing serious but after hours of taking care of problems he was ready to head home. What he wanted to do was call Emma and invite her over for dinner.

After debating with himself the whole way home, Killian left her a message. She must have been busy because she didn't answer. Considering he slipped out of the office early, Emma was probably too busy with work to have heard her phone.

Quickly, throwing on an old t-shirt and jeans, he decided to take care of some things around the house before he started on dinner. Unless, he heard from Emma beforehand and she mentioned that she wanted to go out instead. He was fine either way. Killian just had to keep busy until he heard back from her.

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Closing time came and went and Will still hadn't shown up. Alice had left around four, which meant that Emma had to man the phones as well as finish with her work on the files, so she decided to get out of her office and make camp at Alice's desk. It made accessing the filing cabinets that much easier.

Emma debated whether she or not to wait for Will since she had a question over one of the client's paperwork. Alice hadn't known why some pertinent pages were missing and suggested that Emma address it with Will at her earliest opportunity. Sighing, Emma set the folder aside on her desk to talk to Will tomorrow. She grabbed her stuff, and locked up behind her.

As she was about to exit the office building where the detective agency was located, she was listening to Killian's message on her phone. A smile spread over her face until she ran smack dab into the last person she expected to see. "Oh, sorry."

"Neal?" Emma and Neal straightened, her hand tight on his arm, dropped suddenly as if burned. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Her lips thinned and she crossed her arms, almost dropping her phone and keys. When he smiled at her and gave her a lingering look from head to toe, her skin began to crawl. S_he dated this guy? What the hell had she been thinking?_

"Emma, great. I wanted to see you."

"Why?"

"I've missed you. I moved back to town and I heard that you came back as well."

Emma snorted. Neal reached out and pushed some of her hair back and Emma jumped back. This was so wrong. She didn't want Neal to touch her. Hell, she didn't want him near her. Not after what he did to her and apparently almost every other woman he came in contact with. And, as for him brushing her hair back, well, that just pushed the limit on her restraint. It was something Killian did to show he cared and Neal was ruining it.

"Go away, Neal."

"Emma, I still love you." He held up his hands in a pleading manner. It didn't even faze her.

"I doubt that. I don't think you ever did. But, I have to admit, I'm glad you came because you proved something to me."

"What's that?" Neal asked with a sly smile.

"I'm beyond over you. I can't even hate you, because you mean absolutely nothing to me anymore." Emma stepped around Neal who tried to grab her arm.

She didn't jerk out of his grip. Instead, she stared at his hand then back at him. "Let go, Neal."

"Emma…"

"No." She walked away from him, not even bothering to look back. Emma threw her stuff on the passenger side seat as she entered her car. She was not going to let Neal ruin her night because she resolved years ago to not let anything with Neal bother her again. Apparently, it worked because she could have just run into any of the men she dated and dealt with them the same way. She was completely unfazed by Neal's sudden appearance in her life.

Emma left the parking lot and headed toward the loft. When she pulled into her usual parking spot, she changed her mind and turned around. She didn't feel like going to her empty apartment and Killian had invited her over for dinner. He probably wouldn't mind if she showed up a little early.

When her car stopped in Killian's driveway, she smiled. Yes, now she was exactly where she wanted to be. Emma still had the spare key Killian had given her and she used that to let herself in when he didn't answer her knocks.

Searching, she finally found him out in on his sundeck. He had a solar powered shower back there and he was watering some plants and cleaning up. He had changed out of his work clothes and now wore a tight black t-shirt and some jeans with a hole at the knee. Leaning against the wall, she admired the way the man moved. Deciding in that moment that she no longer wanted to take things slow, Emma pushed herself off the wall and quietly stalked up to him.

I didn't matter she ended up standing under the stream of the shower, Emma walked right in front of him and ran her hands up his arms. Her hands trailed up until she cupped his face and brought his lips to hers.

Killian was confused. He hadn't heard Emma come in. Yet, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth with her kissing him so passionately. She groaned as his arms came around her and tucked her against his hard frame.

Both of their breaths came out heavy as he pulled back. "You're early."

"I missed you. I thought about what you said yesterday all night long." Emma's hand rubbed over the scruff on his face. "I want to be your friend and your lover. I tried to send a text around lunch but I decided it was best to tell you in person. I was thinking to wait until later when I came over for dinner, but I had to see you now. You don't mind do you?"

He smiled at her. "Of course not. I'm…" He cleared his throat. "I'm glad you couldn't wait either. But, you're all wet, love."

Emma tugged him under the spray of the shower and whispered in his ear. "I know. And I'd like to say it's a sudden occurrence but I'd be lying."

Killian felt his throat constrict. His tongue hit the roof of his mouth and he couldn't swallow.

"Breathe, Killian," Emma said with a giggle.

"Don't think I can."

"Let me help you."

Her lips sealed over his, almost short-circuiting his brain from any rational thought. He felt her hands slide across his chest wetting his shirt. Stepping forward, both of them ended up squarely under the spray. Her blue shirt conformed to her breasts and he gripped her hips pulling her tight against him.

Emma felt how bad Killian wanted her and after such a long time she didn't contain much patience in that department either. Grasping the bottom of his shirt, she yanked it up over his head.

"Anxious, are we?" he asked with a raised brow.

"You have no idea." She scrapped her nails over his chest, her fingers tangling in the soft hair covering his chest. Emma followed the line of hair all the way down to his low slung jeans. Without thought, she began to dip her fingers under the denim but his hand grasped her wrist stopping her.

"Tit for tat, love. Shirt."

Emma smiled and pulled her shirt off throwing it with a wet plop over his own discarded tee.

"Much better. But, I do believe my chest is bare and yours isn't."

Reaching behind her, she stared to undo her bra. His fingers brushed them away. "Let me."

He nipped at her neck as he undid the bra, letting it slip from her shoulders. Emma felt one of his warm palms cover her breast caressing her nipple with his callused thumb. "Beautiful, love."

"So are you."

He chuckled at her admission. "I know."

Emma playfully punched him in the shoulder and he growled at her. "Bad girl. Do you know what I do to bad girls?"

"No," Emma breathed out as he began to sink to his knees.

His eyes raised. Blue eyes met green. "I punish them."

She felt his palms inch up her legs pulling her skirt up higher. When the tail end of it met her waist, he tucked it into the waistband out of the way of his questing mouth. Emma shuddered. If she knew she was going to be in this position she would have worn nicer underwear than her plain cotton panties.

Killian didn't seem to mind. His teeth nipped inside her thighs causing her to shudder and moan. Finally, his mouth covered her sex. Despite the wet cotton in his way, he sucked at her.

Emma's hands came up and tangled in the dark strands of his hair. "Killian."

His fingers edged around the waist of her underwear. "Time for these to go, love."

Emma nodded absently as he tugged them down. One hand was still wrapped in his hair as her other tried to gain purchase on the wooden slats of the blinds.

When his tongue touched her core, white lights flashed across her vision. As he sucked at her clit, she almost fell over until his hands clamped on her thighs holding her upright. Assured that she was steady, he moved his hands enough for him to slip two fingers inside her. Fireworks shot off behind her eyelids as she climaxed.

She felt him hum in satisfaction against her core before he stood and captured her lips. Emma could taste herself on his tongue when he slipped it inside her mouth.

"We need to take this upstairs, princess."

"Why?" Emma asked with a legarthic sigh.

"Condoms. They're in my room." He slipped his arms behind her back and under her legs, carrying her up the stairs to his room.

"What about the shower?"

He laughed. The rumble of his chest caused the hair to brush at her breasts erotically. "It already ran out of water. I'll refill it in the morning. I plan to be preoccupied until then."

Emma ran her hand across his face and pulled him down for a deep kiss. "I like the sound of that."

Later Emma laid there with Killian wrapped around her. He rubbed her arm, drawing circles with his fingers after another bout of lovemaking. She could hear thunder in the distance. The weatherman had predicted a storm for that night and it seemed like it could be a bad one. She didn't care though because she was right where she wanted to be.

"What's with the smile, love?"

Emma tilted her head so she could see his face. She turned towards him and ran a finger over his bottom lip. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"You. Me. Us."

Killian raised up on his elbow and studied her. A smile spread across his face. "Are you saying that _we_ might be an actual _us_ now?"

Emma booped him on the nose. "I'm definitely saying we are an us now. There isn't any place that I would rather be than here with you. I wouldn't care if every man that I was ever interested in was outside on the corner in this pouring rain. I'd still be here, right next to you."

Killian laughed. "Actually, no you wouldn't."

Emma gave him a quizzical look. "Why not? You don't want me to be here." 

"Oh, no, you'd be here and well-loved I might add," he ran a finger over her bare thigh, a twinkle lighting up his eyes, "but I would be out there near that corner destroying my competition while they are all gathering together in one spot."

Emma gave him a playful slap. "You're such a pirate."

Killian flipped her on her back and nipped at her lips. "Don't you forget it, wench."


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: **Thank you everyone for hanging in there with me during this story. There are not many chapters left and I am somewhat sad to see the story go, though at the same time, I am excited for new projects in the works. A huge thank you to my beta, Aimeeloren, and to Stephanie, who created the video.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 32 – Look For The Girl With The Broken Smile:**

"Emma, can I see you for a minute?"

Glancing up from the practice test she had been taking, Emma nodded at Will, who entered her office. He closed her office door and pulled over the small wooden chair that she used as a coat rack to sit down across from her.

"What's up, Will?" Emma hadn't seen Will in over a week. Not since she had asked about Zelena. Cora had called the office informing Alice that Will was needed for a special assignment and to continue business as usual in his absence. Neither Alice nor Emma knew when he was expected back. However, since he was here now, Emma assumed whatever business he had been doing was concluded.

"We need to talk."

"Okay." Emma wasn't so sure about the undertone of Will's voice. She liked this job and hoped that she wasn't already going to lose it.

"It's about Zelena," he informed her.

Emma set all of her papers to the side and let out a silent sigh of relief that her job was still intact. She stared at Will intently. "Okay."

"She is in Storybrooke."

"Why?" Emma found news that Zelena had arrived fascinating because now Emma could find out more about the woman personally. The only drawback was that Zelena and Killian now resided in the same town. After the blissful week the Emma and Killian spent together, she didn't want to inform him that the woman who killed his brother was nearby.

"That's what Cora had me finding out. She doesn't want Zelena anywhere around here."

"Why not?"

Will began to play with his shoes after he crossed his leg over his knee. "Because Zelena is Cora's oldest daughter. Regina is unaware of that fact and we need to keep that information to ourselves. Cora would like Regina to remain blissfully ignorant of the fact that they share the same blood." Will looked up at Emma. "And it hasn't been easy to keep Zelena and Regina apart, let me tell you."

Emma gave him a questioning look. "You've been keeping them apart? Exactly how long has Zelena been in town?"

"Two days. I was sent to London to try to stall her but she was insistent. Once she arrived I tried to distract Regina whenever possible while still trying to keep an ear and eye out for Zelena. However, Zelena spotted me last night." Will leaned forward. "So, now, Cora said that you were to take over."

"But my test is tomorrow," Emma protested.

Will nodded. "I know. Alice will take over as best as she can in the meantime but she doesn't have the same skill set that you do. We need to get this witch back out of Storybrooke or else Cora will have all of our heads."

He stood to go, but Emma rose and walked around her desk and stopped him before he reached the door. "She killed Killian's brother, Will."

"Your boyfriend? The menacing guy who wanted to kill me when we first met at Granny's?"

"Yes." It was the first time Emma referred to him as her boyfriend. It actually felt nice.

"Then it is best for all of us if we get her to leave town quickly and quietly."

"Killian want her brought to justice for his brother's murder," Emma informed him as he reached for the door once more.

Will gave Emma a questioning look. "Was he killed in Storybrooke?"

Emma shook her head. "No. London."

"Then let's pack her back up and send her to where justice can be met fairly." Will crossed his arms and examined Emma. "Anything else?"

"No." Emma stepped out of Will's way, allowing him to leave her office. _Damn. Why did her life have to become so complicated all of a sudden?_

Emma had been staring at her cell phone debating whether to call Killian and tell him about Zelena when Alice walked in about thirty minutes after Will had left. Alice, as per usual, perched on Emma's desk, straightening the skirt she was wearing over her knees.

"I heard about Zelena… and Killian. Want to talk about it?"

"Yes and no," Emma told her. "I want to call Killian and tell him the news about Zelena but I'm not sure I should."

"Do you have any evidence that she did kill his brother?" 

"Some." Emma flicked over her phone to see the time. "Not concrete. More like letters telling her to take care of the problems that Liam was causing. However, there was no mention of the actual murder or any intent to commit murder."

Alice let out a low whistle. "You're right, that won't get her arrested for more than suspicion. As for Killian, don't tell him. We are trying to get her out of town. There is no need for him to know. She won't be here that long."

"I wish it was that simple," Emma said with a sigh.

Alice's words floated through Emma's head the rest of the day. Don't tell him. Don't tell him. Don't tell him. Emma was supposed to meet Killian for dinner at Granny's after work. Instead she texted him to cancel. She wasn't even brave enough to call him. Emma had pleaded she needed more time to study. He sent back a text assuring her it was fine and that they would celebrate the following evening.

Emma felt horrible. First she couldn't tell him the truth about Zelena and then she lied about studying. Next, she'd have to tell him she'd be busy indefinitely because of work and if he asked what she was working on she'd have to lie and avoid him again. She was going down the rabbit hole and Emma was afraid of what would happen when she was found out.

Picking up her cell, Emma had every intention of calling Killian to tell him the truth. Instead she chickened out and dialed Ruby.

"Hey, girlfriend. It's been a while," Ruby answered.

"Hi, Ruby. You busy?"

"For you? Never. Talk."

"I… I… uh," Emma hesitated.

"Spit it out. Something happen between you and Mr. 'Blue Eyes' Jones?" Ruby teased.

Emma had to laugh. The label Ruby used was so much like the one Alice had used not too long ago. "Actually, yes. But that's not why I called. Actually," Emma thought for a minute, "that's exactly why I called."

"Give me all the details. Leave nothing out. I mean nothing."

Emma sank deeper down in her office chair, as a blush stained her cheeks. She was definitely not going to give Ruby all of the details. "You remember how you told me not to wait to tell Killian about his brother when I found out?"

"Of course I do. You wanted to wait until you moved to town but Graham and I told you that Killian needed to hear it right away."

"How do you think he'd feel about knowing that the woman who killed his brother was in town?"

"In town, in town?" Ruby squealed. "Like in Storybrooke, in town?"

"Yes."

"He doesn't know?"

Emma shook her head even if her friend couldn't see it. "I don't think so."

"Tell him," Ruby demanded. "Tell him now."

Letting out a sad chuckle, Emma sighed. "Funny Alice, the girl I work with, gave me the opposite advice." 

"Okay, well I'm going to say something and you're not going to like it."

"What is it?" Emma picked up a pen and began to doodle on a scrap of aper.

"Well, there's the first option, which is to call Tink or Mary-Margaret, explain everything and ask what their opinion is because they've known him a while," Ruby told her.

"And the second?"

"Listen to your heart. You've been in love with that man for years. What do you think he wants to hear?"

Emma raised her pen to her lips. "He'll want to know she's here."

"Then tell him. Or if you don't want to after what happened the last time you informed him of something crappy in regards to his brother's murder, show him. Accidentally run into her."

"After my test tomorrow, I'm supposed to watch her for work. I'm supposed to keep her away from the mayor and convince her to leave town."

"Trust me, if she thinks Killian knows what she did and that he is in town and looking for her, she'll leave."

"You're right." A smile spread across Emma's face. "That's exactly what I need to do. Killian can see her and she'll skip town to avoid him. Two birds can be handled with one stone."

"Glad I could help. What else are best friends for?"

"You are the best, Ruby."

Ruby laughed. "So Graham keeps telling me."

"Well, he's right. Thank you, but I have to go." 

"No problem. Tell Mr. Hunka Hunka Burning Love I said hi."

"Shut up and go make out with your fiancé."

Ruby sighed. "If only I could. He's on duty until late tomorrow morning."

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Emma said with a laugh.

"Well, I do happen to have a new lingerie set and a brand new raincoat. Hmm." Ruby said almost distracted. "Okay, I gotta go."

"Knock him dead, Ruby." Emma hung up and smiled at the phone. At least her best friend was happy. Now, Emma had to take her own happiness by the horns and man up to Killian.

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A knock sounded on Killian's office door, startling him from the report he was attempting to finish reading. However, his mind kept slipping to Emma. He was already missing her even though he knew he'd see her soon.

"Yes? Come in."

His assistant popped her head inside. "A woman is here to see you. She doesn't have an appointment."

Automatically, Killian assumed it was Emma and smiled. It was past time for him to leave the office. If he and his assistant hadn't been trying to lock down the details for their current project, they would have both been gone by now. Emma might've finished studying already and decided to look for him. "Send her in."

His assistant left and Killian quickly signed the paperwork in front of him. Once his assistant came back he could hand over the documents to her so she could fax them over to the Donaldson Corporation and head home. Then maybe he and Emma could spend some quality time together and grab some dinner on the way back to his house, or hers if she preferred. Killian practically rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

A lopsided grin came over his face as his assistant entered once more. "Here, it's all finished." He stood and handed her the paperwork. "Could you fax these over for me, please? Then you're more than welcome to head home. The rest can wait."

She smiled and took the papers. "Thanks. Goodnight."

Killian nodded in response and sat on the edge of his desk. He crossed his arms over his chest so he wouldn't feel compelled to grab Emma the second she walked through his door, kissing her senseless.

His smile faltered and he slipped from the desk in shock as a red-haired woman he hadn't seen in years entered. Killian was almost gad he had his hands tucked under his armpits, so he wouldn't commit murder on company property.

"Hello, Killian. You look good," Zelena told him as she walked toward him, attempting give him a peck on the cheek until he inched away. She gave him a sideways look and shrugged before she walked away.

"You lying, murdering, traitorous bitch," he ground out, his lips twitching at the corners as if snarling as he itched to wrap his hands around her neck.

She smiled at him and sat in one of his guest chairs. "I'm assuming you somehow found out about Liam."

"You, however, seem completely unaffected by that knowledge," he observed dryly.

Zelena waved a manicured hand dismissing his comment. "I was only doing my job. A job I get paid well for and handled quite effectively."

"You kill people for a living?" Killian asked in shock.

She laughed. "Of course not. I'm a fixer. I take care of problems. Liam just happened to be one. As well as you."

"You killed Liam."

Zelena glared at him. "No, I actually didn't." She elegantly shrugged one shoulder and gave him a smug smile. "There's people for that kind of thing and I'm not one of them."

Killian clenched his fists at his side. "You are something else. And don't even get me started on my _wife_." His spine stiffened at the thought of Milah's betrayal. "Do you even have a shred of feeling inside you? Milah sure as bloody hell didn't seem to."

Zelena picked at one of her fingernails. "Can't say much for Milah, as she's dead. And, well frankly, other than correspondence, I didn't deal with her too much." Zelena glared back at him. "Then again, I didn't marry her either, so you might be more inclined to know more about that."

Killian winced at the emphasis Zelena placed on the word marry. He did marry Milah and not a day went by since Emma showed him the papers that he didn't regret that decision. Killian should have never left England. He should have tracked down Liam's killer and then Zelena and Milah both would have been held responsible for his death. Then again, if he never came to Storybrooke, or married Milah, his path and Emma's would have never crossed and that was something that was almost unthinkable to imagine.

"As for me," Zelena continued, "feelings get in the way of business. It's easier to be heartless. The moment you care is the moment you might as well retire."

"I thought you loved my brother. He loved you."

Zelena let out another grating laugh. "Your brother was nice enough. A little goody-two-shoes if you ask me. Good form this and good form that." She waved her hand about dismissively. "He was all about upholding the law so his little brother would have someone to look up to."

Killian almost found himself smiling at her words. They sounded very much like something his brother would have said. So much so that Killian could almost hear Liam uttering the words himself.

Shaking the thoughts aside, he narrowed his eyes on his uninvited guest. "Get out," he growled. "Get out of my office and my property. Get out of my life. Or I swear, upon my brother's grave, that you will pay for every misdeed you have ever done. And my face will be the last one you see before the steel doors slam behind you for all your wrongdoings."

Zelena stood and walked up to him. "I don't plan to go anywhere for a while. I have things to do in this town and this was only a courtesy call to ask you to stay out of my way as I do them. I would hate for your brother's fate to become your own."

She reached up to caress his face and he grabbed her wrist hard, dragging it away from him. "Don't threaten me, Zelena. I'm not Milah and I'm sure as hell not Liam. You come near me or anyone else I love and you will pay, even if I have to kill you myself."

Zelena shivered and smiled. "The words coming out of those luscious lips of yours sure know how to win over a girl. Maybe I got involved with the wrong brother."

"You did, because if you killed me and Liam was alive, he would be noble enough to leave you alone." Killian, with Zelena's wrist still in his grasp, dragged her to the door of his office. "I'm not that noble. You will pay for his death one way or another, Zelena. My advice to you, stay away from me, otherwise, it will be a lot sooner than you planned."

Killian slammed the door in her face and sank back against the wood. He rubbed his face with his hands and slipped down to the floor. Tears slipped from his eyes. "Brother, I'm so sorry I let you down."


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: **Oh my, this fanfiction is almost over. I am so happy that all of you decided to come on this ride with me. It has been a great journey. A huge thank you to Stephanie, Just4FunVids925, for creating the AU video She Will Be Loved. Because it was so great I kept watching it over and over again, picturing the story that went with it until I just had to ask her to write this. And another thank you to the always wonderful, aimeeloren, who has beta'd this story from the beginning. I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter up. Unfortunately, it may take over a week as well for the next chapter as well.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters, they are a product of the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 33 – Ask Her If She Wants To Stay Awhile:**

It was past dark when Killian arrived home. She had waited for him for over two hours, already grabbing some dinner from Granny's to eat while she waited. When he unlocked his front door and entered, she breathed a sigh of relief that he was safe. Straightening the books she had been studying from, Emma rose from his couch.

"Killian," she called out, alerting him to her presence, in case he missed the bright yellow Bug in his driveway.

Emma watched as he walked into the living room. He looked weary, as if the whole world weighed upon his shoulders. Killian headed straight for the sideboard and poured himself a generous glass of rum. She knew something was definitely wrong when he threw it back with one swallow.

"Killian?"

"Why are you here, Emma?" he asked with a tired air to his voice. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but it has been a long day."

She approached him as he poured some more of the amber liquid into his glass. "I needed to tell you something and I figured I could study here as well as I could at home."

Killian let out a bitter laugh. "I really don't think I can handle anymore news today."

Emma reached out to cover his hand before he could raise the glass to his lips. "Tell me what happened. I want to help."

"Help?" Another bitter laugh came out. "I can't even help myself."

"Please. Let me try."

"Zelena's here."

Emma removed her hand and stuffed both of them in the back pockets of her jeans. "I know. That's what I came here to tell you."

The glass stopped halfway to his mouth. He turned toward her, his blue eyes stormy. "You knew?"

"I only found out this afternoon. I'm supposed to take over her surveillance after I finish my test."

"Why is she here?"

Emma shrugged. "I don't know exactly but Cora wants her out of town and far away from Regina."

"The mayor? Why?"

"They're sisters apparently."

Killian set the glass back down without drinking it. "I take it Regina doesn't know."

"No."

He stalked over to the couch and sat down in the spot Emma had previously occupied. Killian rested his head on the back and closed his eyes. "How many more lives does this woman have to ruin before she is satisfied?"

Emma walked over and sat next to him. For a second she debated with herself but gave in and wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his chest. Listening to his heartbeat, she wished they could stay like that and forget all about Zelena. "I'm so sorry."

Killian's hand came up and stroked her long hair hanging loosely down her back. The two stayed there in silence for several minutes. It wasn't until Emma's cell phone rang that there was any sound around them. Emma reached for it from the table hating to separate herself from Killian.

"Hello," Emma said to the unidentified caller.

"It's me, Emma," Alice said silently from the other end.

Emma gaze flashed to Killian's. "What's going on?"

"Wanted to let you know I'm sitting in my car a few doors down from Killian's house."

"Why? Never mind, I know why. What's she doing?" Emma rose from the couch and approached the windows looking out front.

"She's been sitting in her car watching the house since before Killian arrived."

Moving the curtain slightly, Emma spotted who she assumed to be Zelena. "Red head? Green sedan?"

"That would be her. Thought I'd give you a heads up. She seems awfully interested in Killian for a woman who came here to bother Regina."

"Why would you say that?" Emma was confused.

"Because she went to Killian's office earlier. He didn't tell you?" 

"No. No, he didn't." Emma turned and gave Killian a questioning look. "I need to go. Keep me updated."

"Will do. Bye."

Emma ended the call and walked back to where Killian still sat. "You saw Zelena?"

He nodded. "Told you I did."

"In your office?"

A blush, the woman stained his cheeks. "Aye. And there wasn't a bloody thing I could do to her. Damn it was right there and I did nothing." Killian leaned forward and held his head in his hands. "She killed my brother and I did nothing."

"You're a good man, Killian Jones. You have a mark in the hero column." Emma sat down next to him. "I'll see to it that she's caught but you have to trust me."

He looked up and smiled. His hand reached out and grasped hers bringing it to his lips. "I trust you. I've always trusted you."

Emma let out a small breath of air. Relief filling her that he wouldn't get any more tangled up in this mess. She just wished that she didn't have her test tomorrow, so she could spend the night. "I hate to say this but I need to go. I have to get up early for the test in the morning."

Killian's blue eyes held hers. "Stay. Please. Just for a little while."

Nodding, Emma agreed.

Sitting back, Killian tugged Emma along with him. His arm encircled her shoulders and she laid her head on his chest, closing her eyes. Despite the fact that Zelena was outside, this moment felt perfect. A small smile touched the corner of Emma's lips. Yes, life in Killian's arms couldn't get much better.

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Emma awoke the next morning in a panic. She and Killian had fallen asleep on his couch wrapped in each other's arms. The light shining through his living room windows woke her. She barely had enough time to head home and change her clothes before she had to drive to Portland for her test.

Killian stirred as she gently brushed his arms to the side so she could get up. "Where are you going? It's still early."

"My test, Killian. I'm going to be late." Emma gathered her books and phone and searched for her keys.

"What are you looking for?" he asked as he stood and stretched.

"My keys. I swear I left them right here," Emma said in a slight panic waving at his coffee table.

Killian grabbed her shoulders and kissed her. "Calm down. Take my car."

"I have to drive to Portland," she protested.

He laid a finger across her lips. "It's fine. I'll find your keys and take the Bug to work." He walked over to the sideboard, picked up his keys and held them out to her. "Go. You're going to be late."

Emma pecked him on the cheek and accepted the keys. "Thanks."

Playfully, he slapped her on the rear. "Go get them, tiger."

Emma had a smile still plastered on her face even when she reached Portland. Nervousness set in though as she took her test. She finished the test faster than anyone else and she worried that she might have finished too quickly. Seconded guessing herself would only cause her to fail more, so she didn't take a chance and handed it her papers.

Walking to Killian's car, she spotted the red haired woman from the night before leaning against his car. Zelena was looking around, probably for Killian. Emma walked over to her, nudging her aside so she could unlock the door.

"Who are you? Where's Killian?" the woman demanded.

Glaring at Zelena, Emma let a smile she didn't feel settle on her face. "I'm Emma Swan and you're the bitch who killed Liam. I would say it was nice to meet you but I'd rather punch you in the face."

"You wouldn't dare," Zelena sputtered.

Emma leaned toward her. "Try me. I grew up in the foster system, I'm not afraid of bullies."

The woman laughed. "You should be afraid of me. By your own admission, I killed someone."

Emma gave her a once over glance. Between Zelena's perfectly coifed hair, her manicured nails, her shiny black shoes and stylishly put together green suit, Emma doubted this woman lifted a finger if she didn't have to. "Doubt it. You might have broken a nail."

"Shut up, you stupid bitch."

Shrugging, Emma opened the car door. "I call them like I see them. Stay away from Killian."

Zelena's eyes narrowed. "Or what?"

Emma gave the woman a smile that sent an evil sparkle to her eyes. "I was involved with Mr. Gold's son. Ah, I see you recognize the name. Good. Well, I learned quite a bit during my association with that family and I'd love to put some of my lessons to good use."

Zelena sucked in a breath. "You wouldn't dare."

"Not only would I dare, I'd be more than happy to drag what's left of your scrawny ass to London afterwards with all the papers Neal inherited from his mother showcasing just how wonderful of a job you did for her company." Emma tapped her chin dramatically. "Yes, I believe he gave me a whole box full of correspondence. Don't you just hate the fact that technology wasn't quite so advanced back then?"

With a very unladylike growl, Zelena stormed away. Emma sank down into the driver's seat of Killian's car and rested her head on top of the steering wheel. After several minutes of taking deep breaths, Emma finally felt calm enough to drive back to Storybrooke.

She had to stop for gas and lunch on the way, pushing her arrival at the detective agency back until almost closing. Alice was on the phone and looking nervous, when Emma strolled through the door, so Emma waved and went straight to her own office. Closing the door, Emma stopped short when she saw Will sitting behind her desk working on the computer.

"What happened? Why are you in my office?"

Will glanced up and nodded in the direction of his own office. "Cora and Zelena are in mine."

"Really? Zelena's here?"

Will nodded. "I don't know what happened but she and Cora both arrived in a rage about a half hour ago. It wasn't until a few minutes ago they stopped screaming at each other. I thnk the silence is scarier."

Emma's office door opened. Cora popped her head in. "Will, I need to talk to you. Now!"

Will hung his head and stood, after Cora left. "Gotta go. Wish me luck."

Following him out the door, Emma looked over at Alice to find out what may be going on but her eyes connected with Zelena's instead.

"You work here?" Zelena ground out.

Emma smiled. "You bet."

Zelena turned, stalked to the door Will had closed behind him and threw it open. "I'm leaving. I'm going back to Paris."

"You are?" Cora asked evenly from inside the office.

"Yes." Zelena glanced over her should to Emma. "I'd rather avoid some people in this town."

Cora came to the door. "Goodbye, then. I trust you will no longer try to contact Regina."

Zelena faced her mother. "No. I won't contact her."

"Good." A smile came to Cora's bright red lips.

Grabbing her purse from Alice's desk and with one last glare at her mother and Emma, Zelena left with a slam of the door. Emma's ears rang from the sound.

"Emma, Will's office, please.

Cringing, Emma followed Cora. Will wasn't seated at his desk as per usual, instead he sat in one of the guest chairs. Cora indicated Emma should join him as she sat behind Will's desk. "I heard you took your test today."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Did you pass?"

Emma gave her a small smile. "I hope so. I've been studying day and night since I was informed about it."

"What happened between you and Zelena?" Emma suspected question was the real reason she was in Will's office.

"I don't know what…" Emma tried to deny it she really did.

Cora's hand shot up interrupting what Emma was going to say. "Don't toy with me, Miss Swan. I know Zelena was in Portland. She followed you, didn't she?"

Emma shrugged. "I think so. I took Killian's car this morning because I couldn't find my keys."

Once more Cora's hand raised. "Doesn't matter. You did something neither I nor this bumbling idiot here," she waved in Will's direction, "was able to accomplish. You convinced her to go back to Europe. Though I'm intrigued as to why she chose to return to Paris instead of London."

A blush stained Emma's cheeks. "I might have told her I learned a thing or two from Neal and that when I was done with her I'd drag her back to London to face charges."

"Do you have any evidence as to what she has done?"

"Aye, she does," Will answered.

Cora glared at Will. "I did not address you."

"Sorry," Will muttered.

Emma nodded. "Yes, I do. I turned some of it over to Killian, the part about his brother, but I have almost a box full of correspondence between her and Milah."

"And Neal just turned all of this over to you?"

"Not exactly."

"I see." Emma was quite sure she did. "I want it brought to me tomorrow," Cora commanded. "I'm heading to London on Saturday. I'll see to it that it is presented to the right people. And if I were you, I'd make notarized copies of each one, just for insurance."

"Okay."

"Good. You may go. Tell Alice to head out as well. Will and I still need to talk." Cora waved her dismissively from the office.

Emma stood and bade them goodnight before heading out of Will's office. This had been Emma's first real encounter with Cora and she was happy to get out of there.

"You survived," Alice said as Emma approached. "You did, didn't you?"

"Yes. Cora said we should head out for the night."

"I take it we are no longer watching Zelena." Alice glanced up from gathering her things.

"No. You heard her she is heading out of town."

Alice grabbed her purse and the two women walked out. "I'm meeting Cyrus and some friends for dinner, wanna come?"

"No." Emma shook her head. "I need to bring Killian back his car and let him know that Zelena's leaving town."

"Good luck," Alice called as she turned to head to her car.

"Don't think I'll need it for this one, but thanks." Emma smiled and waved. Her smile faded when she spotted a manila folder under Killian's windshield wiper.

A Post-It was attached to the front. It said, _Be_ _warned_. _Some of the people you associated yourself with are_ _more_ _corrupt_ _than_ _I_. _Zelena_.

Emma flipped through the folder and her heart sank. Gold had destroyed the project Killian did at the docks and from the documents it was for no other reason than to get him to back off from Emma. Neal had sent an email to his father requesting help in keeping Killian in his place, one far away from Emma.

While Emma believed Gold had done as he requested, there was one document that had stuck to another piece of paper that made Emma wonder if it had been meant for her eyes. It implied that Gold had another reason to attack Killian and his company. Milah. From what Emma gathered Milah had been leaving Killian to return to Gold and she had every intention of investing her money with her ex-husband. Not as a lover, but as a business associate. And if she wanted to have the deal closed Killian would have to be out of the picture.

Was Milah planning to have Zelena kill Killian but died before it could be arranged? Is that why she had held off on giving him the divorce papers? A cold chill ran down Emma's spine.

Her day had been mercurial enough and now this. What a craptastic day! Opening Killian's car door, she threw the folder across to the other seat. Emma needed to have a talk with someone and she knew exactly who that person was. Might as well finish her day with the one person she never wanted to see again. Maybe then, and only then, she and Killian could finally find some happiness in this town.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: **We are approaching the end and a new season of Once Upon A Time. Thank you everyone who has been reading this story. Only one more chapter left (barring any need for an epilogue). This story has been a labor of love. Huge thank you's go to Aimeeloren, my beta, for doing such a wonderful job. And to Stephanie (Just4FunVids925 on YouTube) for the wonderful video that inspired this story and letting me use it to create this fiction. Both of you have been a wonderful support team.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters, as they belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Chapter 34 – And She Will Be Loved, And She Will Be Loved:**

After knocking on the door multiple times, Emma was becoming pissed. She didn't come here to be ignored, especially when she knew for damn sure that he was in there. "Don't make me break into your apartment, Neal."

The door swung open and an annoyed Neal faced her dressed in ratty jeans and a t-shirt, grimacing. "Damn it, Emma. What do you want?"

Emma stormed past him into the apartment. She went straight into his living room and threw the folders she had been carrying on top of his discarded Ipad. "You're going to help me fix this mess between your father and Killian."

Neal gave her a sideways look as he followed her in. He waved at her folders. "What's that?"

Shaking her head, Emma pointed to the couch. "No. You don't get to talk. Not yet. Sit. This is going to take a while."

With a sigh, Neal reluctantly complied. Emma began to pace as Neal sat there with his hands tangled in front of him. "Look, I know you," she told him. "You and I, we were never meant for the long haul. I get that now. Hell, I knew that then." Emma waved behind her. "But, now, I need your help. And you're going to give it to me. You owe me after the way you treated me when we were in a relationship."

Neal gave her a sad smile. "I'm sorry, Emma. I am. I really meant it the other day when I said I'd like for us to try again. I miss you."

Emma humphed and crossed her arms. "You and me? I don't think so." She sat down next to him. "Look, I know I loved you once and, maybe, you loved me once too."

"I do."

Glaring at him, Emma continued. "Stop interrupting. Anyway, I realize what it is like to really be loved and I want that. After the childhood I had, I think I deserve that. I need someone who is willing to put me first and stands by my side while I try to make a life for myself. Killian does that and I hope that I can be there for him as much as he is for me." Emma's face softened and she laid a hand on top of his. "And I want that for you, too. Just so we are clear though, that isn't with me."

Shifting, Emma picked up the folders that sat next to her and handed them to Neal. "Right now, though, I need your help with this."

Neal glanced over the papers, opening and closing the various manila folders. "Where did you get these?"

Emma shook her head. "Doesn't really matter. I have them. I have proof of what your parents did. And these aren't the only copies. They aren't even the originals," Emma somewhat bluffed. She had never had the time to get more copies done as Cora advised, the originals were still in Killian's possession. These were the copies she had made for herself several months ago before she brought the originals to Killian's. "So, will you help me or not?"

Neal glanced up at her. "Do I have a choice?"

She smiled at him and almost felt the need to clap her hands in joy. "Yes, but I'm hoping you'll help me anyway."

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It was after midnight when Emma finally walked through her own front door. Kicking off the heels that she had thought so cute with her outfit earlier this morning, Emma breathed a sigh of relief knowing she wouldn't have to put them back on again.

Tiptoeing to relieve the pain in her arches, Emma approached the kitchen area and saw someone sitting on one the small couch she had in her living room. "Tink! What the hell?"

Tink had turned to face her with a frown marring her features. "Better me than Killian. You remember Killian, right? The man who's so in love with you that called his friend crazy because he told him that you were at Neal's tonight. The very same man that I just assured that he had no reason to doubt your loyalty."

Emma had the grace to blush as she turned on the lights. "It's not what you think."

"I sincerely hope not, for Killian's sake."

"I needed to convince Neal to help me."

Tink rose and glared at her, interrupting Emma's explanation. "Help you what? What's so damn important that you had to go to _Neal_?"

"Killian. Killian is what's so important," Emma told her. "To save him, and your company, from getting hurt any further from this feud he has with Mr. Gold. To get him, Neal and even Zelena of his back forever."

Tink cocked her hip and gave Emma an assessing look. "What about your other friends? What about Killian's? Me? Ever thought to ask some of us first?"

"Actually, I still need your help," Emma said. "You were next on my list." Emma went to sit on an empty barstool and Tink followed her. "By any chance do you have any experience keeping narcissistic assholes from getting into trouble?"

Tink rolled her eyes and laughed as she sat next to Emma. "You do remember I work with Killian Jones, right?" Tink waved a hand almost as if dismissing what Emma was about to say. "Yeah, that was before you came back. Then there's the whole love makes you blind thing. Never mind. What do you need me to do?"

"Well…" Emma laid out her plans with Neal to Tink. The two eventually curled up on Emma's couch as the conversation spread long into the night. Between the two of them, they came up with a new and improvised plan of attack. Emma quickly learned Tink was a true strategist and someone you definitely wanted on your side.

Eventually, the two fell into an exhausted sleep somewhere after dawn. Emma's lips tilted to the side in a sleepy smile as her eyes drifted closed. The whole damn crazy scheme she concocted might actually work.

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Killian awoke the next morning wondering where Emma was. She hadn't come back to his house to see him or to even exchange cars as he expected her to do. He'd left several messages on her cell and house phones. Never once has she called back. The last knowledge he had of her was when she texted that she had gotten back to Storybrooke and she was going to pop into work.

When David had called last night to ask Killian and Emma over to dinner, Killian had been surprised. Not by the invitation, as David and Mary-Margaret were always trying to convince him to come over for dinner more often, but by the conversation that followed. And, oh, what a conversation _that_ had been.

"Hey, man, what's up?" David asked when Killian had answered his phone.

"Grabbing some dinner, waiting on Emma. What's going on with you and Mary-Margaret?" Killian took a swig from his bottle of Guinness, regretting it the second David spoke next.

"Are you and Emma still together? I thought she might have dumped you for Neal again," David said with some confusion lacing his voice.

Killian's eyes watered as he choked on the rich brew. "Why… Why would you think that, mate?"

"Shit, man. Sorry." Killian guessed that David could hear him choking over the phone line, causing his apology. "Mary-Margaret and I were heading home earlier and we saw her out on Neal's porch before she headed inside with him. She did look upset but we figured she almost always wore that expression whenever the two of them were together."

"Together? Seriously? That the word you are going to use for them?" Killian could even tell his voice rose an octave at the jealousy that rang out through his voice.

David's own voiced still sounded naively confused. "What other word should I have used?"

"Never mind, mate." Killian took a deep breath to try to calm himself down. "It's not important." Killian placed his opened beer back in the fridge. No sense trying to drink any more at the moment. It was a waste of good ale to keep choking or spitting it out. "When was this?"

"About a half hour ago. I'm sure it's no big deal, now that I know that there is nothing going on between them." Killian really hoped Dave was right but before he could say as much, David continued, "Mary-Margaret was hoping that the two of you could come over for dinner this Saturday. I know its late knowledge and you might have other plans but she told me to ask. And I thought to check to make sure all was okay between you and Emma before I did."

Killian slumped against his fridge and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sure we're fine. No, we are fine. I'm sure she had a good reason to be at Neal's and she just hasn't had a chance to tell me yet. She'll let me know when she gets home."

"Home, huh?" David teased. "Yours or hers? Or are we talking about the same place now? Maybe things are going better between the two of you than Mary-Margaret and I thought."

"Keep your yap shut, mate. We're working it all out. I won't have you mucking it all up." Killian pushed himself off the fridge and sat at the table in front of his cooled dinner. "I still need to eat. I'll call you tomorrow about Saturday."

"Sounds good. Talk to you then."

"Bye, mate. Send Mary-Margaret my love."

"Not going to happen," Dave said with a laugh. "Can't have you turning my wife's head."

Killian doubted that. Mary-Margaret was very much in love with her husband and, frankly, Killian was having enough trouble with Emma if even part of the rumors that Dave was spreading was true. "I have enough going on with Emma. I don't need your wife too."

"You better believe it." With that David ended the call.

Killian had reheated his food in the microwave and struggled to eat the steak and baked potato. It might as well have been hardtack, as tasteless and dry as it tasted. Finishing it off, he began to pace as each minute passed with no word from Emma. Images of her and Neal kept haunting him. Emma wouldn't go back to Neal. She wouldn't, would she? The little green monster of jealousy rested on Killian's shoulders taunting him.

Needing to think of something, anything, else, Killian picked up his cell phone and called Tink. He tried to pretend the call was work related but Tink had known him too long.

"What's this call really about?" She asked after only a minute of Killian's BS. He heard a car start in the background and Killian wondered where exactly Tink was.

"Did I interrupt something with my call?"

"Only a really bad blind date. I was welcome for the excuse to leave. Stop stalling," she admonished with a huff. "What's going on?"

Killian let out a long breath. The last thing he wanted was to admit to any problems between him and Emma to Tink. She had dragged his arse up too many times already. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Just wanted to check in with you one last time about the…"

"Killian Jones, don't you dare even try to lie to me." Her voice came out as cross as an elderly school teacher who had been disappointed by her star student. "It's Emma, isn't it? What did you do now?"

"I didn't do a bloody thing," Killian growled. He slammed his hand down on the kitchen table that he found himself once again sitting at.

"Okay. What did Emma do then?"

"David said he saw her at Neal's. I doubt she'd go there without some good reason."

"But you're worried she's there because she still has feelings for him," Tink interrupted. "Oh, Killian. That woman has been in love with you for years. You are such a stupid bastard if you think she would run off with Neal now that she has you. She knows you love her. I truly doubt that Emma would have much to do with Neal after all he did to her."

Killian let out a slight chuckle that he really didn't feel. "When did you and Emma become such good mates that you are defending her?"

"Don't know that we are, but we understand each other. At least as far as you are concerned."

He would have asked her to elaborate if his doorbell hadn't rung. "Someone's at the door, Tink. I need to go. It is probably Emma."

"I'm sure it is," Tink agreed. "Goodnight, Killian."

It hadn't been Emma. Apparently a delivery company had been working late because a box rested on his doorstep. Bringing it inside, Killian carefully opened the small package only to discover a coat inside. A naval coat to be exact. Liam's naval coat to be even more precise. The one that he was supposed to have been buried in.

Killian rushed back to his front door, his brother's coat tightly clenched in his hand. No one was there or even on the road. After he returned to the box, he realized it had no return address. If that wasn't enough, it only had Killian's name written in black ink on the top. Frustrated, he almost threw the coat across his living room. Stopping short, Killian tugged it to his chest and buried his nose in the heavy cotton. It still smelled of Liam. His aftershave lingered, barely, but it was still there after all these years. The coat must have been preserved somehow.

He ran his fingers over the jacket before he folded it back up, placing it inside the box. Killian knew he would have to find out how the hell someone had gotten his brother's jacket off the dead man's back.

Thinking of the coat dragged Killian back to the present. Leveraging himself out of his bed after nearly being lost in memories for almost an hour, Killian wondered if he should call Emma once more. He was worried about her. But after a moment's hesitation, he disregarded the thought. He called her so many times already. He'd give her space until she was ready to call him back, no matter how much it bothered him to do so.

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Emma wished she could call Killian and tell him what was going on. Fumbling with her phone, Emma opened a picture of him that she'd taken a week ago when he had been playing his guitar.

"Stop mooning over Killian Jones or we are going to be late," Tink scolded. "Last thing we need is Neal to back out now."

"Right," Emma agreed shoving her phone back in her pocket. "Here we go."

Emma raised her hand and knocked on Neal's door. He didn't answer that time, nor the three other times she banged repeatedly on the oak panel. "Damn you, Neal."

Reaching inside her coat, Emma extracted the tools she needed to pick Neal's lock. Tink gave her a strange look but Emma just smiled and shrugged. "Private detective."

As soon as the tumblers clicked into place, Emma opened Neal's door with a flourish. Making a mocking bow, Emma said to Tink, "After you."

"Great. I get the first shot at him. I promised Killian earlier when I told him I wasn't coming in today that I'd do him a favor in return. This can be it," Tink grumbled as she stepped into Neal's apartment.

Emma followed and flicked on the overhead lights. Neal could be seen spread out on his couch snoring, still in the clothes he had been in the night before. A bottle of scotch that was nearly empty sat on his coffee table with a glass that had looked like it had seen better days.

"Figures," Emma mumbled. Walking over to him, Emma kicked the bottom of the couch. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty."

"At least you think I'm beautiful," Neal grumbled as he rubbed his hands over his stubbled face.

"It's a figure of speech, asshole." Emma glared down at the man she once thought she loved and grimaced. _What_ _the_ _hell_ _had_ _she_ _seen_ _in_ _him_?

He grinned up at her, irritating her more. "You know you still love me."

Emma rolled her eyes and considered kicking the man while he was still down. "You wish." Looking up, Emma noticed Tink staring hard at Neal, her mouth hanging ajar. "Tink, everything okay?"

"Bae? Is that really you?"

Neal sat up straighter as he realized Tink was in the room with them. His eyes travelled over her form, before he once more rubbed his eyes. This time it seemed it was more in disbelief than from tiredness. "I go by Neal now. That whole damn nickname thing people started adopting kinda threw things off," he joked. "But, yeah, I've been Neal for a while now."

"Bae?" Emma asked, her eyes going from Neal to Tink before they settled back on Neal.

The man turned toward her giving her a knowing grin, before he looked back at Tink with a conspiratorial wink. "Told her she loved me. She even calls me _bae_."

Emma propped her hands on her hips, pursing her lips. She had had enough. She kicked out at Neal's shin.

"Ow!" Neal grabbed his leg and glared at her. "What the hell was that for?"

"You're not my _bae_. Unless you mean a piece of shit. Now why the hell would someone call you Bae?"

His cheeks stained red, as he continued to rub his leg. Emma was slightly shocked as she had never seen the man blush in all the time she'd known him.

"It's short for Baelfire," Tink spoke up.

"Baelfire?" Emma asked incredulously. "Seriously? Someone named you that?"

Neal shrugged as he rose and stretched. "When I turned eighteen I changed my name to Neal." He glanced over at Tink. "I kept Baelfire as my middle name though. Anyway, Emma, that what the B stands for that you always asked about when you forged my name."

Emma was confused. "You told me it was for Barney."

Tink started to break out in laughter. "Barney? Oh my God. That's almost as bad as Baelfire. You couldn't think of anything better?"

"Shut up, Tink," Neal growled at her as he pulled on a hooded sweatshirt he grabbed from the chair where it had lain. "It was the only B name I could think of at the time."

"Anytime, Bae," Tink shot back at him with a cheeky wink.

"How the hell do you two even know each other anyway?" Emma asked.

"We were neighbors for a short time," Tink told her. "He lived with his mom at the time, but she was never home so I never met her. I never once realized that Milah was Neal's mom. Hell, why would I? I always knew him as Baelfire anyway. I had the biggest crush on him, but he barely noticed me unless I did something stupid. About a month or so later, he left town and his mom moved away."

"Had to get the hell out of here. Between my mom and dad and their constant fights. Mom had moved us to that house for all of two months before she told me she was ready to move somewhere else for another guy, another adventure. Dad wasn't worried about me. He was already on his path to finding more power and wealth. I doubt either one of them really noticed I had even gone missing until they were fighting over where I was supposed to stay the following month."

Tink glanced down at the small gold watch adorning her wrist. "Well, as much as I might love to sit and catch up, we have somewhere we all need to be."

"Right," Neal agreed. "Let's get this the hell over with."

He led the women out of his apartment locking it behind him. Emma felt a touch of regret about forcing Neal to help her. However she couldn't think about Neal's feelings right now, she had Killian's future, and hers, to consider.

Neal plopped into the backseat of the Bug, while Tink rode shotgun. The ride over to Gold's Antique Shop seemed to take hours instead of five minutes.

Tink's hand came to rest on Emma's arm as she pulled over to park. "You okay?"

Emma gave her a hesitant smile. "I will be."

"Are we going or not? Belle said he'd be in by nine," Neal announced.

"Yeah," Emma said as she turned off the ignition. "Let's do this."

"Neal, you stay with me out front while Emma goes through the back."

Giving Tink a wary look, Neal told them, "I need to unlock the door. My dad would know in an instant if the place was broken into."

"Okay, do that. Let Emma in and then meet me back here." Tink stood there with her hands locked on her hips, brooking no argument to her pronouncement. Tink may be small but she was mighty.

Instead of answering, Neal led Emma around the back by her elbow. "What's going on, Emma? I taught you about distraction so don't tell me you don't know what Tink is attempting to do."

Emma shrugged. "We talked on the way over to your place. We thought it might be best if your father came by he'd see you talking to Tink and it would stall him a little longer while I had a chance to get out."

"Or I could go in with you," Neal said with his condescending attitude, "and I could just tell my dad you came with me while grabbed something from the shop like we agreed to yesterday."

Looking up at him pleadingly, Emma let her hand rest on his chest near his heart. "Please do it this way. I may not be in love with you anymore but I don't want you and your father to argue on my behalf. This is my battle, and I thank you for your help, but if I get caught, I'd rather that it only be me on the other end of your father's wrath."

Neal's eyes searched hers before his shoulders slumped and he nodded. He reached around her and unlocked the door. "Fine. Have it your way. I'll be out front with Tink if you need me."

"Thank you, Neal."

"Yeah. Whatever." With that he turned and headed back toward the front of the shop.

Emma went in and found the chipped teacup easy enough on the counter just as Neal had told her. Underneath was the key to Gold's safe. However, trying to get the damn thing to actually open took some work. It seemed stuck, even when it was unlocked.

"It's like the damn thing is protected by magic or something," Emma mumbled to herself, pulling the door harder. It finally budged knocking Emma to her butt by its sudden release. "About time."

"About time for what, Miss Swan?"

Emma whipped around as she stood and stared at Mr. Gold casually standing in the doorway leading from the back to the shop. As usual, he was impeccably dressed in a suit and tie. His gold handled cane clenched tightly in his hand. To most of the world he might have come off as coolly composed, but Emma knew he tempered his anger under his businessman façade. She was in trouble and the law wasn't even half of her worries because Gold had ways of making people just disappear. Luckily, Neal and Tink knew she was in here.

"Emma, there you are," Neal announced as he walked through the front door. "I was sure that you followed Tink and me out, but…" 

Tink popped up from behind him. "But I was pretty sure you had run off to the loo and he accidentally locked you in." Tink bumped Neal with her shoulder. "Told you."

Mr. Gold glanced between the three of them, seeming unconvinced. When his piercing brown eyes landed on Emma, she could feel the small hairs on at the back of her neck stand on end. Crap! How much had he seen before he announced himself?

"And Miss Swan just decided to open my safe for what? A key out?" Mr. Gold asked with a snarky air to his voice.

"No. I left it open, by accident." Belle walked in from the back and circled around Gold. "I asked Neal to meet me here before I headed over to the library and I came back because I was pretty sure I forgot to close it. Plus, if you remember, I do keep a spare key in there. I told her that several years back when she was still dating Neal and when she was locked in, she must have remembered." Belle snuggled up to her husband, going on tiptoe to drop a kiss on his cheek. "I'm sure it's not what you're thinking at all."

Gold's eyes lightened for a second as they landed on his young wife, a genuine smile piercing his face. All that faded quickly though when he turned back to Emma, who couldn't help but fidget under his steady gaze. "I'm sure Mr. Jones' girlfriend's motives were innocent, dearie. Just as I am sure that my son would never betray me." His angry accusatory glare landed squarely on Neal. "Would you, son?"

Neal held out his hands in a pleading type gesture. "Of course, I wouldn't." Neal turned and looked at Emma before turning back to his father. "Not normally, but you and I both know we have some things in which to answer for. And, well, I've already admitted my participation. It's your turn."

"And what exactly are you accusing me of, Baelfire?"

Neal settled himself nimbly atop one of the glass counters that held many of Gold's antiquities. "We both know very well what happened. I think Emma has a right to know. Or should I just produce the evidence against you myself?"

Mr. Gold strolled over to his son and poked the younger man in the chest with his cane. "And what do you gain, dearie, from helping the man who stole not only your mother but Emma as well?"

Neal came down from the counter, brushing his father's cane to the side. "Killian did not steal Mom. You lost her long before he ever came into the picture." Neal jabbed his finger into his father's chest. "You drove her away. She wanted more. She always wanted more. And maybe at the time you couldn't give it to her. Hell, I knew her enough to know she was never going to be happy anywhere or with anyone for too long. You really think she was leaving Killian to come back to you?" Neal let out a sarcastic laugh. "She was playing you as much as you were her. She wouldn't have stayed. My mother had every intention of leaving with Zelena and heading to Europe." Neal glanced over to Emma. "You think I don't know you got those papers from Tamara?"

Emma didn't even have a chance to deny it before Neal continued. "Of course you did. Do you know why she had them? Because she was working for Zelena. After my mother died, she went to work for that witch. Tamara started sharing my mother's secrets with the woman. I had enough and I kicked her out. I wouldn't give her any more ammunition to give to Zelena. So, since Tamara couldn't do anything to me, she decided to enlist you, thinking to get back at me. She stole those files the day I kicked her out of the house. The same day I found her in _our_ bed having sex with someone else."

Emma glanced around. Everyone seemed shocked by Neal's pronouncement. But Belle seemed to be the first one to shake herself out of it. "Rumple? Is that true? Was Milah leaving Killian for you?"

Mr. Gold turned away from his son's angry continence and faced his equally angry wife, a guilty look playing across his face. "Belle, I can explain."

Belle stalked up to her husband, her eyes flashing in their anger. Emma had never seen the petite woman so mad in her life. "You told me that Milah was forced away from you by Killian. I helped you stage her accident when I was only sixteen because I thought you loved me and she and Killian were standing in our way. Did you even love me?" Belle's usually sweet face twisted in rage as her hands fisted at her sides. "Do you even love me now? Or am I just a pawn? Someone who you kept close to keep your dirty little secret?"

Emma knew her mouth hung open at Belle's words. _Gold_ _had_ _been_ _the_ _one_ _to_ _kill_ _Milah_? _And_ _Belle_ _helped_? As if sensing Emma's thoughts, Belle turned toward her. "I didn't kill her." Belle pointed in the direction of her husband. "He did. I just helped him cover it up so that everyone thought it was some random drunk driver. I picked up the guy at a local bar and had him drive me to the scene. Rumple knocked the guy out and hit Milah while driving the man's car."

All eyes fell on Gold. But if looks could kill the man would have been skewered alive by the strength of Neal's accusatory gaze. "You killed my mother?" Gold began to open his mouth but Neal held up a hand. "You lying bastard. You killed my mother." Neal's voice strengthened and could slice to the bone with his cutting words. "You know you haven't changed one bit. For a second I thought you might have. I started to think that you were worth my time. I guess I was wrong. Now give me your cane."

"Why?" Gold asked clenching it tighter as Neal held out his hand.

"I don't have to trust you, if I know I can catch you without you fighting back."

Time swirled quickly after Gold handed over the cane. The police arrived after Belle called them. And many questions were asked of everyone there. Through it all, Emma's mind kept drifting to Killian. His feud with Gold was finally over. And Zelena was currently on the other side of the ocean. Life might actually return to some sort of normalcy.

Tink came over and sat next to Emma, who perched on the sidewalk outside of Gold's shop. "You did it."

Emma's eyes flicked over to meet Tink's. "Neal did it. I'll have to thank him."

"Probably," she agreed. "What's your plan now?"

"To let him know it might all finally be over. And to tell him I love him."

Tink grinned at her. "I think that is a great place to start."


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: **Thank you everyone for sticking around to read this story. I hope all of you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it (though I must admit there were a few chapters that made me want to give up). The reason I didn't give up? Well, a lot of that rests on two people, aimeeloren, the greatest beta in the world, and Stephanie, Just4FunVids925 (YouTube), who created the wonderful video this story is based on. These two have become great friends. CaptainSwan and Once Upon A Time may have brought us together but I think we will have a friendship that will last far beyond this story. And a huge thank you to the fans. Without your love, support and comments spurring me on, I don't know if I would try so hard to write up such long stories for all of you to enjoy. P.S. My Beta convinced me to do an epilogue, so there will still be one more chapter in the coming days.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters, as they belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time. One of the few shows I know of that makes sure that they encourage fans to create wonderful things such as fanfiction, art and videos based on the show.

**Chapter 35 – And She Will Be Loved, And She Will Be Loved:**

Killian slammed his hand into the steering wheel when the light changed to red. He had no choice but to stop when the car in front of him did.

When Mary-Margaret had called from the school to tell him that David seen police surrounding Gold's shop. According to David, Tink and Emma had been led outside by uniformed officers. When Killian heard that he panicked. Tink had called into work earlier, informing her personal assistant that she was taking a sick day. It was rare that Tink ever did, so Killian had every intention of driving to her house around lunch to find out how she was. And if he hadn't already asked his own personal assistant to rearrange his morning meetings, so he could also swing past Emma's work on his way to check out a construction site he had no current business at, he would have been neck deep in a conference call when Mary-Margaret phoned him.

On his way out of the door, he promised his assistant a huge bonus if she'd be able to cancel all his appointments for the rest of the week. Whatever trouble Tink and Emma found themselves in might take some time to get sorted out and when he did, Killian was sure he'd need time to cool off.

Finally, traffic started to move. He had to park by Granny's because the police still had the area near Gold's shop blocked off. Killian spotted Tink and Emma sitting off by themselves on the sidewalk. When he reached them, he quickly appraised them for any injuries. "Are you okay?"

"Killian, we're…," Tink started before Killian interrupted.

"What the hell were the two of you doing? Hell with that. What were you two thinking? Did you want to get killed? Hurt?" 

He ran his hand through his hair and began to pace in front of them. What he really wanted to do was shake the hell out of the two of them for scaring him to death. Then he'd hug the bloody hell out of Tink before he kissed Emma until they both lacked any oxygen to breathe.

"Killian, we're fine," Tink finally told him. "Stop pacing. You're giving me a headache."

He stopped abruptly and stalked over to stand in front of Tink who now stood with her hands on her hips in rebellion and anger. Emma, however, sat there contritely with her head bent over her knees. "I may be giving you a bloody headache but I haven't lied to you. I haven't scared you to the point where you question whether your heart was still working in your chest."

Tink's hands slipped from her hips and her head bowed. "I'm sorry, Killian. We both are."

Emma rose and placed a hand on Tink's arm. Her eyes pleaded with Tink and Killian suspected even if Emma didn't say anything, Tink would have given them a few minutes alone. "Tink, can you give us a minute? I need to talk to Killian alone."

The shorter blonde nodded and with another apology to Killian, Tink headed off in the direction of Neal and Belle who were talking to an officer next to a police cruiser. Killian's eyes followed her progress before he turned to look at Emma. "I don't know if I should yell at you or kiss you now that I know that you're safe."

"Both?" Emma said with a slight smile and a shrug of her shoulders, though her eyes showed that she was just as unsure as to how to proceed as he was.

Killian studied her. Her hair which normally hung loose was pulled back into a loose ponytail. She was dressed in her usual jeans and knee high boots, sporting a white tank top that was far too transparent for his taste, as it easily showed off her black bra underneath and her blue leather jacket. Emma looked sexy and guilty as hell. Guilty of what though he had yet to find out.

"Are you back with Neal?" Even he couldn't believe he asked her that, so her shock was no surprise.

"What?" her voice screeched.

"Are you and Neal back together?" Killian ran his hand through his thick locks once more. He already asked once, he might as well know the truth now. "It's a simple question considering you are here with him. And, I'm assuming, that it was true that you were at his apartment yesterday." Killian thought he had done an admirable job trying to curb the jealousy from his voice, but the anger had a long way to go before it disappeared.

"I was with Neal yesterday," she finally said after she looked at him long and hard. "But I was never _with_ Neal. Nor will I be again. If you think that I can so easily go from seeing you to picking up with him, maybe I need to rethink _our_ relationship." Emma's green eyes flashed with the strength of her fury. He couldn't blame her but he wasn't going to let her off easy either. Too many times he thought he made inroads to Emma's heart only to have her head off to Neal's arms, or to the safety she felt back in Boston. He had been hurt every time she had run away. Not that he hadn't made his own mistakes along the way.

"Maybe it's me who needs to rethink things if it is so easy for you to go Tink and Neal with your problems."

Her nose flared. "I didn't come to them to deal with _my_ problems. I came to them because I needed help fixing _yours_."

"Mine?" He was stunned by her admission. "What problem of mine involved having to employ Neal's help? Tink I can see, but Neal?"

"Your feud with Gold." Emma's hands clenched into fists at her waist, and Killian knew the anger she felt because he felt it as well. "I was trying to find some concrete evidence that he was after you."

"Did you?"

"No." For her to deny it, he expected her voice to have less vehemence, until he understood with her next words. "Instead he confessed in front of all of us to so much more. As did Belle."

"Belle?" Now he was confused. Other than being married to Gold, he never expected the always upbeat Belle to be involved in anything.

Emma nodded. "Apparently, she was involved with some of Gold's misdeeds more than anyone ever expected."

Killian turned around slightly to gaze in her direction and realized that Belle was indeed wearing a pair of handcuffs at her wrists. Shaking his head, he faced Emma. "You still should have told me. How can I know that you are safe if you are running around doing things behind my back? Like exchanging cars without a word. Not one." He hated to sound accusatory, but when he discovered his car in his driveway that morning and Emma's keys gone from the spot he kept them near his front door, he didn't know what to think. He had repeatedly searched for a note, a text, something anything from her. There had been nothing. "Do you even realize how many times I called you? Texted you? There was no response. Not even an, _I'm_ _okay_. Can you even imagine all the scenarios that ran through my head?" He watched her shake her head before he continued. "Then I hear you're with Neal. The man you've run back to countless times over the years." He might have continued but her apology stopped him.

"I'm sorry, Killian." She reached out to him. Killian jerked away from her touch. He was too mad at her and he was afraid if she touched him he'd hurt her unintentionally. "I am okay. I'm sorry I scared you. I really am, Killian. I really had every intention of making things better for you."

His eyes met her apologetic ones. His lips pressed into a straight line, despite feeling bad for her. "Maybe, but I don't think things are so great right now."

With that he turned and began to walk back to his car. He needed time. Time to control the feelings raging through him. Time to determine where he and Emma were heading next. Time to figure out who the bloody hell left his brother's jacket on his doorstep.

However, he hadn't taken more than a few strides away from the scene behind him, when he turned back. Yanking his hands out from where he shoved them deep in his pockets, he muttered, "Bloody hell."

It only took a few steps to reach her. Once he did he scooped Emma up in his arms and kissed her hard, taking out all his fear and all his anger out on her lips. A gasp escaped her lips allowing his tongue entrance to her mouth, where it pillaged and plundered until he was almost breathless. Pulling back suddenly, he took in her shocked expression. Her trembling hand reached up to touch her swollen lips.

"I'm glad you're okay, but I need some time. I'll call and check on you later." With that he stormed away from her. He still didn't completely trust himself around her. His anger was still boiling just below the surface.

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Emma stood there watching Killian leave. Her shoulders slumped and a loud sigh escaped her lips. He wasn't ready to hear her admission of love and she couldn't blame him for being mad. Emma was sure her own emotions would be in turmoil had their positions been reversed.

A hand landed on her shoulder and she jumped. With a glance behind her, Emma noticed Neal had approached. Turning, Emma smiled at him. "Neal, I wanted to thank you."

As she turned his hand fell back to his side and he shrugged. "I'm sorry it didn't work out." He nodded in the direction of where Killian had headed. "Between you and Killian."

"Really?" Emma hated it that her question came out so sarcastic.

"I care about you, Emma. I always will. I just want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me." His smile almost brought tears to her eyes.

Smiling back at him, Emma said, "We were happy. Once."

"We never found Tallahassee," he told her sincerely.

She couldn't help but nod sadly. Tallahassee had been their dream. Long before Milah's death, which seemed so long ago. They had talked of moving to Florida and leaving their thieving ways behind them. They had been so young and idealistic back then. In Emma's case, naïve too. Emma wouldn't want to go back to those days if someone offered her a million dollars to do it. Not because those days were so bad, actually, she had several good memories. Time had easily softened some of the memories. But no, she wouldn't go back because now she knew what it was like to be loved by a man. A man who not only possessed her heart, but her body and soul as well. Killian was worth so much more than a monetary amount and reliving good times, even if they weren't in the best of spots at the moment, no matter what wasn't worth giving him up.

Emma gave Neal a brief smile and was about to head over to talk to Tink when a shot rang out. Neal grabbed Emma and used his body to shield hers. She never even realized he'd been hit until he began to slip from her arms that had clenched around his when he grabbed her. "Neal! Neal!"

Pandemonium erupted all around them. Gold who had been led from his shop in cuffs before the shot rang out, ran towards Neal. Belle and Tink had been ushered to hide behind a police cruiser for safety.

Cradling Neal's head, Emma's eyes burned. "Neal, what did you do?"

A tsking sound came from around the corner. Emma glanced up from Neal to see who it was. Zelena slipped closer keeping watch that he police were still busy trying to find out where the shot had come from. There was no way that she could have fired the weapon and approached them so fast, so Emma was sure that Zelena had an accomplice.

"Poor, Baelfire," Zelena said as she continued to approach, her voice holding no remorse.

"You did this," Gold bit out. His beady brown eyes promising retribution.

"All I did was pass on some vital information." Zelena had the nerve to smile and not to Emma as if they were in cahoots. "With the help of a friend." It was in that moment that Emma knew it was Tamara who had pulled the trigger. "Your son did the rest."

A gasp sounded from Neal and Gold inched closer on his knees, for once unmindful of the expensive suit he wore. "It's going to be alright, son."

"I do doubt that," Zelena said with a charming air as if they mentioned no more than the weather.

Neal's eyes opened and he tried to smile. Emma could see Gold wrap his cuffed hands around one of Neal's. Tears ran down Gold's face. "What have you done?"

"It's okay, Poppa."

"Why?" Gold asked him.

"Zelena."

Emma and Gold's eyes rose to the woman mentioned who stood in her vintage skirt suit checking her manicure. She seemed unaffected by the events playing out in front of her.

"Why? Do you know what she wants?" Emma asked, ignoring the older woman and trying her best to concentrate on Neal.

"What she doesn't have," Gold sputtered as he continued to glare at the woman in question.

Zelena waved at them. "Oh, please continue. I do so love it when people talk about me." She smiled. "It makes a woman feel wanted." 

Emma dismissed the woman. If she wanted attention that was the last thing Emma was going to give her. Turning to Gold, Emma asked, "There has to be some way to save him, right?"

"It's too late, Emma," Neal gasped out.

"Just hang in there. Please." Emma begged him.

Neal reached inside his hoodie with shaky hands. "I saved this for you." He handed her the swan necklace that she had discarded with him before. "To give to you again. Take it." Emma reluctantly took the necklace from his hand. "Go find Tallahassee. Even if it's without me."

"Neal." Emma felt her tears flood from her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to hold them back.

"Hey. I'll be watching over you from somewhere. Promise me. Promise me you'll both be happy."

In that moment, Emma completely knew that Neal had cared for her and he still did. And even though she might be with Killian, Neal understood that her heart had chosen elsewhere. Nodding, Emma told him, "I promise. I promise."

"No. No. No. No." Gold became more and more agitated with each word of denial. "I can fix this. There must be a way to fix this."

"You can't," Neal said with a shake of his head. He squeezed his father's hands. "You can't. Thank you for trying, Poppa."

"No," Gold cried out softly. "I don't want to let you go."

"I want you to," Neal told him solemnly. "Please," he breathed out. "Let go."

"I love you, son." Emma never saw Gold cry. It was almost humiliating to see such a strong man fall so low. But in that moment, Emma finally saw the compassionate man that Neal had once spoke about. The man who had cared more about family than anything else life had to offer.

"I love you, Poppa," were Neal's last words before he passed away with a small shuddering breath.

Emma bit back a sob, her lips bleeding from the effort of keeping it in. Gold kissed Neal's hand before he reached out to close Neal's eyes. Sirens blared in the distance signaling that the ambulance wasn't far away.

"That was rather ill timed," Zelena intoned. "I can see he'll no longer be a problem."

"It's only a matter of time before the others find you," Gold told her motioning toward the police. He stood and glared at her. "Unless I kill you first."

"Please." Zelena laughed nodding at Gold's restrained hands. "You can't hurt me but you're more than welcome to try." With those parting words, she turned and walked away leaving Emma and Gold alone with Neal's dead body.

Gold sunk back to his knees and bowed his head over Neal's prone form. "Oh, Bae."

Emma was numb. Shock starting to come over her. Her hands shook as someone lifted her up and away from Neal. There was a flurry of activity. People slowly surrounded them but it all barely registered to Emma, even when they escorted Gold and Neal away.

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Emma assumed Tink was the one who led her back home, but she couldn't be sure. However, that was where she found herself hours later as she awoke in her own bed. Mary-Margaret sat on the edge of the bed squeezing out a piece of cloth from a basin and placing it on Emma's forehead. Emma managed to open her eyes further and smiled at her.

"You're awake," Mary-Margaret observed. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been run over by a bus." Emma took the cloth from her head and sat up, fluffing her pillows behind her. "Or like someone tried to shoot me."

"I'm so sorry," Mary-Margaret said quietly.

"Why?" Emma asked confused. "You didn't try to kill me."

"About Neal. I know the two of you weren't seeing each other anymore," she quickly interjected, "But I know it must still hurt losing someone you cared for."

Neal's death still had yet to hit Emma. First, except for the last couple of days, Emma had pushed anything to do with Neal to the back of her mind. And, second, because his death, the fact that he was truly gone, almost seemed like nothing more than a bad dream.

Instead of going down the depressing path of mourning a man who had brought so much joy and misery into her life, Emma tried to concentrate on the present. "Gold and Belle were arrested?"

Mary-Margaret nodded. "Belle's father is trying to raise money for her bail, but we all suspect that Gold will be denied any release. Not after the rumors of all he's done. If even half of what I heard was true, I doubt any judge would allow him to be released, no matter what hold Mr. Gold has over them."

Emma had no doubt of that, especially since she knew the truth of exactly what Gold had done. And that didn't even count the fact that he was responsible for Milah's death. "Where's Tink? Wasn't she the one who brought me here?"

Mary-Margaret stood and began to straighten items on Emma's nightstand. "She did. Then she called David and I. She's home now. Killian refused to let her come back to work until Monday."

Emma reached out and grasped one of Mary-Margaret's hands. "How is he?"

Stopping amidst picking up the basin she'd been using earlier, Mary-Margaret turned back to face her. "He's worried and scared. And mad. He's madder than I have ever seen him."

"I really pissed him off by not telling him about my plan," Emma told her as she scooted over to the side of her bed so she could stand up.

Mary-Margaret was the one who now touched Emma's arm. She shook her head. "He's mad because he left."

"What?" Emma asked incredulously.

"He's mad because he thinks he should have been there. He should have been the one to protect you."

Emma felt her mouth fall open in shock. "He'd rather her be dead instead of Neal just because of some misplaced sense of chivalry?"

"No, because he knows Zelena wanted him more than she wanted you." Mary-Margaret bent down so that she was level with Emma, her hands resting on Emma's knees. "David went with him to speak to Gold. Apparently, someone left Liam's naval coat in front of Killian's house last night. He thought to ask Gold about it, despite having every notion Zelena had more access to it."

"Oh my God," Emma exclaimed. "He was supposed to have been buried in that coat."

"Exactly." Mary-Margaret stood for a brief second before she sat next to Emma on the bed. "It seems that Zelena commissioned a similar coat and had them switched before his burial. However, that was all Gold knew." Mary-Margaret paused and suddenly found her wedding ring the most fascinating of things. Emma had seen from previous times, it was only when she was nervous that Mary-Margaret fidgeted with her ring. "Except for the fact that Milah paid to have Killian killed if he ever discovered her secret. A goal it seems Zelena is intent on."

"So, why did she have someone shoot at me?"

"She didn't. Or at least Gold doesn't think so. He thought her intention was to kill Neal to get her revenge on Gold. He had tried to stop her too many times."

Emma pushed herself upright and Mary-Margaret followed. "Where are you going, Emma?"

Turning to the woman who had cared for her, Emma told her, "To find Killian. He's in danger. Not just from Zelena but from Tamara as well."

Mary-Margaret appeared confused. "Tamara? Milah's personal assistant? Why would she harm Killian? I thought she was in Boston."

"No. She's here. Or at least I suspect it is her. She was the one who shot Neal, not Zelena. Though Zelena put her up to it. Tamara works for her now." At Mary-Margaret's questioning look, Emma said, "Neal told me." Emma scrambled through her nightstand searching for her pistol and other items she might need. "Tamara was told to give me the documents so that I would show them to Killian on Zelena's orders. And Killian may know to watch out for her, but not Tamara. I doubt he has any idea there may be danger on that front. I know I wouldn't have guessed it was possible if Neal hadn't told me."

David was about to knock on her apartment door when Emma opened it to leave. "Where are you going?"

Emma gave David a curious stare before she glanced behind him. So, it seemed Killian hadn't come with him despite his feelings, or the feelings Mary-Margaret claimed he had. Brushing past him, she told him, "Discuss it with Mary-Margaret."

It was unlike Emma to be rude. Prickly, or even blunt, but not rude. It even surprised Emma how she responded to David, but she didn't have the time to stay there and apologize. Killian may be in trouble and she had to find him.

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Killian reclined in the loveseat in his living room, nursing his almost full flask of rum. It was the first time he had been able to relax since this morning. He left David at Emma's a short time ago and finally had his space to come home and think.

After arriving home, he had laid Liam's coat on the couch across from where he sat, while two picture frames rested on his coffee table so he could think about the people who were in them. They are what his eyes were drawn to, not the coat, which should have been his focus. The older, aged frame, contained a picture of himself and Liam when they were younger. For years, it resided in the guest room, but he was feeling nostalgic tonight. The other was a new, silver frame that was a recent addition to his house. Tink had taken the picture inside it only a little over a week ago. It had been at their office. Tink had caught Killian and Emma pressed against an office wall, their heads pressed together after a long affectionate kiss. His arms surrounded Emma and rested on the wall around her, while her own were upon his chest. A chest that had become slightly exposed in Emma's quest to touch skin. His eyes were drawn to hers and Emma wore a small satisfied smile. Killian had no idea Tink was even there, let alone had taken a picture until the next afternoon when the framed photo appeared on his desk next to his computer. There had been a bright green Post-It note, Tink's Post-It of choice, attached saying, _Too_ _Much_ _PDA_ _For_ _The_ _Office_.

It was that picture that Killian leaned forward to pick up. One hand occupied by his flask and the other wrapped around the silver frame, Killian found himself at a disadvantage when both his cell phone rang and a cold barrel of a gun pressed upon his temple.

Glancing over, he saw Emma's face beaming up at him from the phone. A brief _I_ _love_ _you_ passed through his mind before he turned to face the person who threatened his life.

It had been years since he'd seen that face. Tamara. Her dusky skin on the delicate features of her face made her a beautiful woman. Even if he'd never had an interest, he had to admire her beauty. Last thing Killian had heard about her was when Emma explained how she acquired the papers that exposed Milah for the conniving woman she was. And finally explained to Killian that his theory had been correct. Liam had been murdered. However, none of that explained why Tamara was currently holding him at gunpoint.

"Did I do something untoward that I've forgotten?" he inquired levelly, as he lowed the picture to his lap.

"No," another voice told him. "She's here at my request."

There was no reason to turn to know Zelena entered his living room. His eyes did slid over to her nonetheless. She hardly looked as though she'd been involved in Neal's murder earlier in the day. No, Zelena appeared as if she had just exited an important business meeting, not even a strand of hair daring to be out of place.

Killian gritted his teeth as she so casually took a seat on the couch across from him, brushing his brother's coat to the side to do so. If the coldness of the gun still didn't rest against his head he'd have lunged for her.

"I see you received my present. It had been taking up valuable closet space for years. I was quite ready to be rid of it." Zelena made a quick motion with her hands and Tamara lowered the gun. Killian wasn't quite so foolish as to believe that she couldn't still use it on him. "Would you mind making us a cup of tea, Tamara?"

Killian wished he could see her face but he refused to take his eyes off Zelena. She may not appear to be armed but he knew her well enough that she was still the greater threat to his life. Tamara walked over and set her gun down on top of Liam's jacket, close to Zelena's side, and headed out of the room.

"It's so nice to see you again, Killian. I hated to think that I was being forced to leave town without even a goodbye." Her sickening sweet tone grated on Killian's nerves.

"You didn't come here to say goodbye," he noted. "Why are you here? Planning to kill me as you did Neal?"

Zelena elegantly shrugged. "I had no real intention of killing Gold's son, despite what he may think. However, that's what happens when you place a loaded weapon in the hands of one's ex-wife. Milah would have done the same had it been you or Gold on the other end. Especially with the promise of happiness on the other side of it. Poor Tamara would be so sad to know her true love, Greg, is nothing more than another one of my pawns sent to seduce her." Zelena raised her hand to her lips and signaled Killian to be quiet. "That's just between us."

Zelena rose and walked over to him. Her hand ran through his hair and he couldn't help but recoil at her touch. "Don't be like that," she told him. Her hand proceeded to trail down his cheek until it rested under his chin and pushed it up so he could look her in the eye. "If I wanted to kill you, I could have done it countless times through the years. No, I have bigger plans for you. For us."

Killian ripped his head from her touch, rum splashing across his hands from the violence. "I'd rather prefer you kill me."

Her lips came up into a snarl. "Careful. That can be arranged."

A shuffling sound came from the doorway. Tamara entered carrying a tray full of cups, as well as milk and sugar. She apparently found Milah's good china tucked away inside the cupboard in his kitchen. Untouched since it was stored there after Milah's death, until now.

Tamara handed him a cup and then one to Zelena. To take the cup, Killian had to place his flask on the table before him, refusing to expose the photo to the two women. When cream and sugar were offered he declined. He had no real inclination to drink tea with these women as if this was a simple social visit. Nevertheless, his mother had raised him with manners, and he raised the cup to his lips for an obligatory sip. Before it touched his lips, Zelena pulled it from his grasp, spilling some of the hot liquid into his lap and on the frame covering his more sensitive areas.

"I wouldn't drink that," Zelena informed him with a glance toward Tamara. "She may well have poisoned it. Tamara can drink yours. You can have mine and I'll drink hers."

The cups were all passed around until Zelena seemed content and she once more perched on the couch next to Liam's naval jacket, while Tamara stood behind one of the arm chairs. Zelena carefully blew across her cup to cool it down before taking a graceful sip. Tamara had already finished half of her cup, unmindful of the heat, with no ill effect. Her eyes kept drifting toward Zelena and he had no idea why other than she was unsure of how they were to proceed.

Having had no real desire to drink the tea, Killian placed his cup next to the flask on the coffee table. In doing so, his eyes came off of the two women for only the briefest of instances. It was then that Zelena began to choke and spit. Killian would have rose to help her but Tamara beat him to it. But instead of helping, Tamara reached out and grabbed her gun, easily placing a bullet through Zelena's head without blinking.

"I already discovered Greg's duplicity but to hear her tell you," Tamara paused and clenched her eyes together for a brief second, "that was too much."

"You poisoned your own cup knowing she'd take it," Killian said. "Very Princess Bride."

Tamara smiled. "I knew one of you would drink it but it was so much easier when I realized it was going to be her. I figured if it had been you, she would have been anxious to try to save you and I could have shot her then."

"What have I done to you to merit my death?"

"Nothing. You did nothing," she told him, leveling the gun at his chest. "If you had been more willing to leave Storybrooke and give Milah the adventure she so craved, she'd be alive today. No, you were quite happy to settle down. She even mentioned that you thought to start a family. Maybe adopt if she was unwilling to bear children." Tamara let out a sarcastic chuckle. "Of course she was unwilling. She never wanted Baelfire, let alone any more. Children were an anchor and she wanted nothing more than to sail through life unfettered." Tamara came around the couch and perched on the edge of the love seat where Killian still sat. "And she promised to take me along. To see the world and all that it offered. Instead I lost the woman who meant as much to me as a mother and all the experiences she promised. All because of you."

The gun was pressed tightly into Killian's side. She was about to shoot him and he was determined to look her straight in the eye when she pulled the trigger, so he turned so the gun was more aimed at his heart. He was unsure how much it would hurt to be shot but when a shot rang out he expected to at least feel some pain. However, when Tamara began to slump and another shot went off, he realized Tamara's gun discharged when it clattered to the floor, barely missing his foot.

His eyes raised and he saw Emma standing in the doorway with her gun clenched tightly in her grasp. The police officer who was with her had only just released his own weapon from his holster. "Emma."

"Killian." Emma handed her weapon to the officer and raced over to him. He stood and enveloped her in his arms. "Are you okay?"

He tried to smile. "Of course, love. Why?"

"If you look at me any harder, you're going to drill a hole in my head."

"I'm just relieved," he told her and pulled her in tightly to his chest. He buried his face in her hair and relished the fact that he was still alive to be able to do so. If she had come a moment later, things may have turned out much different. Thankfully, Emma had arrived on time. Tilting her chin up, he kissed her gently.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked him when they rested their foreheads together.

"You don't have to worry about me, love. I'm a survivor."

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Killian, after a long night of questions, finally found sleep inside a room at Granny's. He's own house too over run by cops doing their jobs investigating the crime scenes left within. He wished Emma was with him but the officers insisted she might be needed for further questioning down at the Sheriff's Station. Killian wanted to stay by her side, but he had been needed for questions at his own residence.

David and Mary-Margaret, who arrived to check on him, offered up one of their spare rooms but Killian preferred the solitude. If he couldn't be with Emma at least he'd use the time to think through, and process, all that had happened in the last twenty four hours.

God, it felt like it should have been at least a week with all that had happened. Neal, Zelena and Tamara's deaths. Gold and Belle arrested for a multitude of crimes, a lot of them against Killian and his company. And Emma. She seemed to be in the midst of all of it. She had said she had done it all for him. Because she cared about him. He just hoped she loved him as much as he did her because he had no intention of letting her go. Not in some creepy, your mine forever way, but in a way that meant that they would love each other for all time. He didn't ever want there to be another instance where they might question whether they wouldn't be together to say goodbye when their time came.

So, it almost killed him that the only response he heard from Emma the next morning was a quick text that said she'd be busy because Will insisted she stop into work. Determined to let her have her space, Killian snuck into his office when everyone was at lunch. Pushing papers around and plugging numbers into spreadsheets did nothing for his restlessness. However, it was dark by the time he decided to abandon the endeavor.

He thought to send Emma a text to see if she had gone home for the evening but decided against it. Instead, he decided to drive past her office to see if the lights were still on before driving over to her apartment. Spotting lights inside Will's office, Killian got out of his car and pulled a jacket out to pull on over the hoodie he wore. The air was definitely turning cooler. Killian walked to her building from where he parked wondering how to proceed. Still too restless, he bounded up the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. The door to Wonderland Detective Agency was still unlocked, though the lights in the main office were turned off. Thinking only Will might be inside, Killian was about to turn and leave when he heard Emma curse.

Opening the door, he went inside. He peeked into Emma's office but it was dark. Slipping into Will's office, he saw Emma cradling her head. A white cloth was tucked inside the palm that was pressed to her face. She still hadn't noticed him, so he turned and quietly shut the door behind him.

Emma was only dressed in a pair of jeans and a camisole. Considering how blistering warm it was in the office he was tempted to strip down to his t-shirt himself.

"Killian?"

He turned to face her and was shocked by the cut over her eyebrow. "What did you do to yourself, love?"

Her smile was rueful. "I ran into the door."

Killian pulled her toward him by her waist and examined her abrasion. "Doesn't look as bad as I first thought. What were you thinking?"

"How I was going to sneak into Granny's, break into your room and make love to you until the sun came up," she told him breathily. "Oh, and then I was going to tell you what I meant to the other day."

"And what's that, love?" he asked with a smile.

"That I love you." 

"I love you too, Emma. I have for years. I was just too afraid to tell you." He brushed his hand through her hair, releasing it from the messy bun she had scraped it into.

"I know the feeling," Emma whispered.

Killian raised his hand to her cheek and drew her in for a deep soul-searching kiss. He loved this woman beyond reason. He loved her more than his next breath. He loved her more than anything it took sustain him. And he planned to tell her that every day for the rest of their lives. Emma deserved to be loved. She might not have had the happiest of pasts but he was determined, even if it cost him his very life, to make her future better than she could have ever imagined.

Pushing back, he held her face, his blue eyes devouring every feature. "I love you, Emma Swan. Today, tomorrow and every day after that. I love you."

"Shut up and kiss her already."

Startled, the two of them turned and found Will standing at the doorway to his office. Emma began to giggle and though for a split second Killian wanted nothing more than to through Emma's boss out of the plate glass window of his own office, Killian began to grin. "Don't mind if I do."

Killian wrapped his hands around Emma's face and drew her attention back to him. Her green eyes smoldered with the heat that he felt. But instead of giving Will a show, Killian gently brushed his lips against hers. "Let's get out of here and go home."

Emma gave him a questioning look. "Where's that exactly?"

Grinning, he said, "Where ever you are, love. You're my home."

She began to lead him out of Will's office, their hands threaded together. Before Killian was past Will, his hand landed on Killian's arm. "Piece of advice, mate. Women don't appreciate living in another woman's home."

Killian winked at him and whispered. "I already have a plan." Turning back to Emma, Killian pulled her coat from where it laid on Alice's desk and wrapped her up in it. "Let's go. I have a surprise for you."

Emma had no idea where he was taking her. Killian had easily been driving out of town and toward the docks for a good ten minutes. It was a part of town that Emma hadn't recalled exploring before. Mansions lined the street on either side.

Killian pulled up to one that seemed to still be under construction along the beach side of the street. When he got out of the car, she followed.

"Where are we?"

"I wanted to get your opinion on a house we are building."

"It's late, Killian. I was really hoping after the last couple of days that I could go home and soak in a nice hot bath and we could watch Netflix." Emma watched Killian push open the door.

"It will only take a minute," he reassured her. Before she could step inside the doorway, he swept her up in his arms.

Emma glanced around but it was far too dark to see much of anything. "Is there something wrong with the floor? Should we even be in here?"

Killian laughed. "Everything's fine, love." He set her on the floor. "I just wanted your opinion. It's still early yet, so if you don't like anything we can still change it."

Confused, Emma turned to face him. Half his face was able to be seen in the moonlight streaming through the windows, but the other half of his face was concealed by the darkness. "Why would the people living here care what I think?" 

"Because I was building it for you. I was hoping that _we_ could live here." His face seemed crestfallen. "If you don't like it I'm sure we can build something else."

"Killian?" Emma couldn't believe it. He had designed a house for them. Her own house. She had never had one she could claim for her own. Running for him, she launched herself into his arms and kissed him. "Oh God! Thank you, Killian. It's gorgeous."

"You're welcome. You're home."

Emma smiled at him and kissed him again. She gathered his arms wrapped them around her waist. He pulled her tight against him and she laid her head on his shoulder. "I already was."


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: **Well, it is that time. This story has come to an end. I hope everyone has enjoyed it. If you follow True North, bear with me, I have a lot going on and I plan on continuing the story. Thank you to everyone who had decided to read this story and I hope that you have enjoyed it. Another thank you to my beta, aimeeloren, who has taken loads of time to make sure I gave you the best story possible. And a thank you to Stephanie, Just4FunVids925 on YouTube, for allowing me to follow through on my vision of a story from her wonderful video.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.

**Epilogue – Please Don't Try So Hard To Say Goodbye: **

"That's it. I'm leaving," Emma called out to Killian, tapping her foot, her arms crossed over her chest. Enough was enough.

Killian straightened his tie for what seemed like the hundredth time in front of the mirror. He turned toward her and gave her a devilish grin. "Sorry, love."

Emma had no choice but to forgive him as he kissed her lightly on the cheek so he wouldn't smear her makeup. "I refuse to be late, Killian. I may have turned down the maid of honor job but I'm still a bridesmaid."

His eyes raked over her. "And what a ravishing bridesmaid you are." He checked his watch. "If you didn't have to be there in twenty minutes, I'd happily peel you right out of that fabric you call a dress."

"I just wish I could breathe in this thing."

Killian's eyes glittered and a devilish smile spread across his face. "Your discomfort is a cross I'm willing to bear."

Even more self-conscious, Emma tugged at the low neckline of the dress. The rose red dress didn't leave much to the imagination, being skin-tight, low cut at the top and ending mid-thigh. Only Ruby would have chosen these dresses for her attendants. Every other bride in the world would have avoided something so sexually eye-catching. No, Ruby was quite secure in herself and on Graham's love. There was no need to worry about his eyes turning away from Ruby.

Of course, Ruby's gown was equally spectacular. It had a white satin sweetheart strapless neckline, with faux rubies sewn around the edges. The skirt was full and layered in white tulle over a blood red satin slip. When Ruby had modeled it for Emma a few days ago, Emma had been shocked and awed by its magnificence. No one would be able to show up Ruby, no matter what their own dress looked like.

Killian escorted Emma down to the lobby of their hotel. Outside a town car waited to escort them over to the church where Ruby was getting ready. They arrived with only a minute to spare from the time Emma was expected to arrive. Though with Killian's hand drawing circles on her practically bare leg on the drive over, She had been tempted to be late. Very late.

"Someone looks sexually frustrated."

Emma came up short as she entered the room after leaving Killian behind in the vestibule. "Shut up, Ruby."

"Testy, too." Ruby laughed but was quickly shushed by the woman putting finishing touches on her makeup.

"Don't you have a wedding to go to?" Emma teased.

"If we can stop her from jumping all over the place checking on everything she might actually be ready on time," the blonde girl, Ella told her. Ruby had chosen her to be the maid of honor when Emma had reluctantly turned down the job. If Emma's last case hadn't taken her across the country for the last four weeks, things might have been different, but Emma hadn't wanted to leave Ruby in the lurch should something happen and she was unable to get to the wedding.

"I just want this to be over with. If I hadn't wanted all of our friends to celebrate with us, Graham and I would have happily consented to run away to Vegas."

"No, you wouldn't," Emma told her. "That is the only place that might have showed you up." Glancing in the mirror in front of Ruby, Emma pulled at the neckline of her dress to make sure it was definitely staying put. She should have used tape. "Though I'm not completely sure about that."

"Hush," Ruby told her, as she finally stood up, her makeup and hair complete. "You look great." Ruby gave Emma a wink. "I bet Killian loves the dress."

"He wants to take it off, which is not the same thing," Emma told her with some exasperation and a blush.

Emma, Ella and the woman assisting with Ruby's hair and makeup, all helped Ruby into her dress. Ruby nudged Emma. "You planning to catch the bouquet tonight?"

Narrowing her eyes, Emma asked her, "What are you planning, Ruby?"

Ruby tried to look innocent, but being Ruby the look only cried guilty. "Nothing."

"Uh-huh."

Ruby held up her hands. "Really nothing is up my sleeves. In fact, I'm not wearing any."

"How come I don't trust you?" Emma zipped her friend into her wedding dress.

"Probably because you've known me for too many years," Ruby quipped.

"Probably," Emma agreed with a laugh.

CSCSCSCSCSCS

The ceremony had been beautiful. There had hardly been a dry eye in the church when Ruby and Graham made their pledges to each other before reciting their vows. Emma had even seen Killian swipe away a stray tear from across the church.

Emma had almost laughed at the end of the ceremony when she spotted Killian's face. The groomsman who escorted her out of the church held her a little too closely for his taste. It was nice to see Killian jealous. She knew she felt that way several times in the last few days during some of Ruby's pre-wedding parties, when women threw themselves in Killian's direction. Emma watched Killian's jaw tick as he took in the groomsman's measure. Emma knew once they reached the reception hall, after taking the required pictures, she'd have to unruffle some feathers.

However, by the time they had arrived, Killian seemed to have already calmed down. A glass of rum sat before him on the table he'd been assigned to. Emma quietly approached him from behind and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his ear. "Hi, handsome."

Leaning his head down, he kissed one of her arms. "Took you long enough to admit it. I've been trying to tell you for a while now."

"Shut up," she whispered with a smile into his ear, her fingers trying to get leverage to tickle him before his hands captured hers to his chest. "I need to get over to the main table. Save me a dance?"

He turned slightly so he was facing her. "Every one."

"Good," Emma told him with a smile.

His lips caressed hers gently before she slipped away. Her chair was almost directly facing his own. Killian's eyes sparkled as he lifted his glass in salute. Emma's heart leapt in her chest when he mouthed the words _I_ _love_ _you_ before he lowered the glass to the table.

Ella nudged Emma. "What do I have to do to get a guy like that?"

Emma smiled at her, breaking eye contact with Killian. "Your guy is pretty great."

They both looked over at Sean who bounced their baby girl on his knees. "Yes, he's not so bad," Ella said with a shy smile. "Not once I got him to stop running. He was so scared about becoming a father but he's a great dad. No matter what his own father says about us being so young."

"I heard from Ruby he left work last Valentine's Day just to take you out during his lunch break."

Ella blushed. "Yeah. I didn't think we'd even be able to spend the day together at all. It was a nice surprise after taking care of the baby all day." Ella leaned in and whispered. "He actually proposed that night too, but it's still a secret until we can afford to get our own house."

"You're lucky," Emma said as she glanced over at Killian. "I've got the house. But the guy… it's been a while since he's even hinted at something more."

Time went by with dinner being served and toasts being made. Emma's eyes were constantly drawn to the man sitting across the way. His eyes flirting with her across the space. All Emma wanted was for the dancing to start so she could wrap herself in Killian's arms. And once she found herself there, she would refuse to let him go.

Obligations, however, stood between her and her goal. First she had to dance with the groomsman that had escorted her down the aisle. Then, Emma danced with the best man before Graham claimed her for a dance.

"You look like you're finally happy, Emma," Graham noted with a smile. "I couldn't be happier for you."

Emma smiled up at him. "Thank you. I am. You don't look like you're doing so badly yourself," she teased.

Graham shrugged. "What can I say? I finally got her to stop long enough to slip a ring on her finger." He winked at Emma. "Needed that so I could legally beat back all the men lining up to check her out."

Laughing, Emma spun out and back in on his direction. "Yes, because we all know it is her magnetic… personality… that draws them in."

Graham playfully growled and tipped Emma backwards over his arm. "Doesn't matter anymore. She's mine. I'm sure Killian understands the feeling."

Glancing over, Emma found Killian and Ruby dancing. Their heads were pressed together in a very conspiratorial manner. _Oh_ _hell_ _no_! Lord knew what the Ruby was telling Killian. Whatever it was, Emma was sure it couldn't be good.

The music ended and Graham made a small gallant bow over Emma's hand. "I better go claim my bride. It's time to toss the garter."

Emma moved off the dance floor, the same as all the other women and married men. In doing so, she bumped into Killian who seemed to be trying to get center stage. Instead he smiled and winked at her, bringing her to his chair to wait out the garter toss.

"Stay here," he told her with a devilish grin, his tongue popping out to the side of his mouth when he was planning something. "I've treasure to catch."

"Killian," Emma reprimanded softly but he was already gone.

Just as promised, Killian caught the garter, vaulting over a teenager's back to catch it. His smile was salacious when he returned with the red satin and white lace strip twirling around on his finger. "I did my part, love. Your turn. Unless you'd rather see me reach up another lass's skirts."

Emma glanced down at her own lack of skirting. "There isn't much fabric to move with this."

Killian knelt down next to her chair, effectively shielding her from view of the crowd around them. His fingers started at her knee and slowly made a fiery path up her leg until they trailed under the hem of her red satin dress. Emma's breath hitched.

He leaned forward and whispered, "No, what's under here is for my eyes alone and I prefer to keep it that way." Pulling his fingers out, he held out his hand. "Your turn, love."

No sooner had Killian made his announcement than the disk jockey made his own, inviting all the single women to the dance floor. Taking Killian's hand, Emma let him pull her up, tugging down her skirt with her other hand in the process. Kicking her shoes off of her swollen feet, Emma followed the other women out to the center of the dance floor. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to do this, but she knew she definitely didn't want Killian's hands wandering up another woman's skirts in front of her.

It seemed to take Ruby some time to set up. Graham was tying something around the bundle of flowers but Emma couldn't tell what it was. Holding the bouquet finally, Ruby faced the women. "Are you ready?"

Many of the women cheered. There was one woman next to Emma who was jostling everyone, her anxiety to get to the bouquet first palpable.

"I'm making him put that garter on with his teeth," the woman said to another one next to her.

Emma almost had to laugh. It would serve Killian right if she helped that woman catch the bouquet.

Ruby turned her back and she announced, "Don't mess this up."

That threw Emma for a second. Then at the last second Ruby pivoted and the bouquet sailed in a direct line to Killian's waiting arms. Women screamed and wailed about it being unfair. Killian, however, seemed unfazed. No, instead, a shit-eating grin spread over his face as he examined the bouquet and walked onto the dance floor.

Women parted as he walked. Before Emma could even process what he was doing Killian stood before her. He untied whatever Graham had put there and lowered himself to one knee.

"Emma Swan, will you do the greatest of honors and marry me?"

Despite being stunned, Emma tried to usher him up off the floor. "Killian, it's Ruby's wedding," she whispered to him. "What are you doing?"

"She told me she refused to go on her honeymoon until she knew that her best friend found her own happy ending." He held out his hand and opened his fist to reveal a diamond ring. That must have been what Graham had tied to the flowers.

Emma glanced over at her two friends. They were both nodding and smiling, holding hands. Turning back to Killian, Emma held out her own hand. "Yes, Killian Jones. I would be more than happy to marry you. You're more than my happy ending. You're my home."

Killian whooped. Gathering her into his arms, he stood and swung her around, as the crowd around them cheered and clapped. Though to be honest there were a few grumbles as well by the single women surrounding them, but Emma tried her best to block them out. This was a happy moment and she wasn't about to let that slip through her fingers.

When her feet finally touched the ground, Killian slid the ring onto her finger and kissed her. Emma couldn't be any happier if she tried. Her best friend was married to a man who loved her. And her new friend, Mary-Margaret, was at home with her new baby. And Emma was sure she would find herself quickly following in both of their footsteps.

Emma would love for them to plan a small wedding. She didn't want to wait forever to get married to Killian. They had already had years of waiting. And though Emma knew Killian would wait forever if she asked him too, she knew she didn't want to wait much more time to announce to everyone that they were indeed together. And in love, forever. He held on to her heart and she held onto his. They found home and love in each other.


End file.
